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I'm 22 and never had a boyfriend. Is love just not for me?


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I am 22, a female, and have never had a boyfriend.

I am confident in myself, and put myself out there by going to events, mixers, partys, social things, etc. I have even tried online dating.

I don't believe in being with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship because I feel that wastes their time if I'm not that into them.

 

I've dated but have found 2 scenarios:

 

1) I dont develop much of a liking for them, or even after dating them for 3 months, I still don't feel excited about them

 

2) I get so nervous on the date, that I do say/things that are not so flattering. I can't help it, even if I were to have a drink on the date to calm my nerves--it just doesn't work.

 

I make sure to take lessons out of every experience, and I even have a list of past dating lessons I've learned from my mess ups. I looked at the list before going on a date on Saturday and still managed to mess up. It's been 3 days and he hasn't called.

 

I'm tired of being the girl that doesn't get the 2nd date call, or the girl who dates a guy only to find out that I'm not interested in him.

 

I feel as though maybe I'm meant to just be alone. I have had way too many nights where I have checked m phone to see no calls or texts. Way too many times I've googled the phrase, "How many days before he calls for second date". I feel mortified...

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The first step is just to learn to be ok with yourself and not to need anyone. I've been there and it is honestly an important step

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Honey, you're 22- you have years and years ahead of you to start a relationship.

 

My first serious relationship was when I was 25, because I previously hadn't felt like I wanted a relationship.

 

Practice confidence, it attracts others to you. I don't mean walk around being loud and gesturing wildly to let people know you're in the room with them.

Watch videos on YouTube on how to build confidence and you will see improvements!

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Honey, you're 22- you have years and years ahead of you to start a relationship.

 

My first serious relationship was when I was 25, because I previously hadn't felt like I wanted a relationship.

 

Practice confidence, it attracts others to you. I don't mean walk around being loud and gesturing wildly to let people know you're in the room with them.

Watch videos on YouTube on how to build confidence and you will see improvements!

 

I feel confident as a person, definitely. But sometimes when there is a cute guy sitting across from me, and I know i'm on a date and need to make a good impression, i feel so much nervousness. I feel like, "Omg what if I say something stupid? What if I do this and he thinks this?" I just find dating to be so difficult because almost anything can be a deal breaker and/or turn off the guy or make him not want to talk to you. I'm just mad at myself for screwing up with my last date. :(

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You remind me of when I was younger. A relationship isnt the be all and end all. You may even meet somone who will treat you badly or cheat on you.

 

It takes time to fnd the right one. I was on the closer side to 30 before I even met someone. I was the really shy goood guy.

 

At 22 you are so still young. Keep busy and you never know who you will meet whether it be in your travels, work or social life.

 

Take a look what type of may you are attracted to. Are you well over your league for example setting the bar far too high with where expectations are never met?

 

maybe stop dating for 6 months and focus on yourself. I have a friend who is constantly going on dates and suffers from dating burnout. So much so shes let some good men slip through the net.

 

Theres no rush. Relationships take time and work. Nothingworse than diving into something only for someone to hurt you and when Mr Right does come along youre not ready becuase youve been treated so badly by other men you dont see Mr Right.

 

Good luck out there.

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I'm older than you (male) and not doing that much better. If there were ever a time to get back into dating, now's the time! It'd also be nice as you could make friends while you're at it, and I've found it helps with job interviews (confidence, composing yourself, all that).

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Address some of the reasons you get so nervous. Do things to help you ease your anxiety. If you are calm & relaxed, it will be easier to transition to date #2

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It will happen when it happens, just enjoy being who you are and the freedom you have now. Putting all your focus on being in a relationship is only going to make you overthink and possibly ruin any chance of getting one. Be happy with yourself and live life, let someone come to you and try your best to relax. I know how easy it is to put so much pressure on yourself when you meet someone, but often when we're ourselves and just carefree, we attract better people. You're still very young and despite this is called the human race, no one's running for the finish line. So relax and don't worry about it.

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AverageJoe1986
I feel confident as a person, definitely. But sometimes when there is a cute guy sitting across from me, and I know i'm on a date and need to make a good impression, i feel so much nervousness. I feel like, "Omg what if I say something stupid? What if I do this and he thinks this?" I just find dating to be so difficult because almost anything can be a deal breaker and/or turn off the guy or make him not want to talk to you. I'm just mad at myself for screwing up with my last date. :(

 

There aren't that many guys who would consider your nervousness to be a turn off. Maybe [if] it was chronic and pretty much stopped you from talking but not if it was run of the mill.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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I agree with what everyone here has said. You'll look back when you're 32 and think, "what was I worrying about!"

 

You don't know how young 22 really is, enjoy it, every moment!

 

There's someone out there for everyone!

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I am 22, a female, and have never had a boyfriend.

I am confident in myself, and put myself out there by going to events, mixers, partys, social things, etc. I have even tried online dating.

I don't believe in being with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship because I feel that wastes their time if I'm not that into them.

 

I've dated but have found 2 scenarios:

 

1) I dont develop much of a liking for them, or even after dating them for 3 months, I still don't feel excited about them

 

2) I get so nervous on the date, that I do say/things that are not so flattering. I can't help it, even if I were to have a drink on the date to calm my nerves--it just doesn't work.

 

I make sure to take lessons out of every experience, and I even have a list of past dating lessons I've learned from my mess ups. I looked at the list before going on a date on Saturday and still managed to mess up. It's been 3 days and he hasn't called.

 

I'm tired of being the girl that doesn't get the 2nd date call, or the girl who dates a guy only to find out that I'm not interested in him.

 

I feel as though maybe I'm meant to just be alone. I have had way too many nights where I have checked m phone to see no calls or texts. Way too many times I've googled the phrase, "How many days before he calls for second date". I feel mortified...

 

Sweetie, you're only 22 :) You should be out with your friends, doing fun things, being focused on your education and preparing yourself for a future as a strong, secure, independent woman. When you've accomplished that, you can and will be able to focus on finding someone who compliments all that. Having a boyfriend does not "complete" a woman, he enhances what she already has with and for herself.

 

You're only 22 and have a long, full life in front of you. There is no rush or deadline for all this. And, read some of these threads, there are people out there much older than you are who experience(d) the "is he going to call" mind spin. It's just part of dating. It's a process, not an event.

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My first real relationship- if it even counts as that- didn't happen until I was 28. But that's because I could have cared less about getting a boyfriend when I was 22. I wanted to be free, and being free was amazing.

 

You'll find a boyfriend as soon as you stop focusing on finding one. It always works out that way.

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My first real relationship- if it even counts as that- didn't happen until I was 28. But that's because I could have cared less about getting a boyfriend when I was 22. I wanted to be free, and being free was amazing.

 

You'll find a boyfriend as soon as you stop focusing on finding one. It always works out that way.

 

OP, this is exactly the right mindset. Don't focus on what you don't have, focus on what you do have -- a long, bright future that you actually have some control over right now. And, remember this, the time and energy you spend on fretting over not having a boyfriend and posting here, could be spent having a good time or doing something you enjoy . . . which might actually facilitate meeting someone who could end up being your boyfriend. Spend some time finding new things to enjoy. Try anything and everything (within reason :). Be free!

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BronzeAgeJaeger217
I'm 27 never had a gf before so it not that. You haven't found the right person

 

In one of your posts you say that you did have one

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You should just keep yourself busy and don't think that much about not having a boyfriend. Just be yourself and enjoy life. And when you're dating those cute guys and you're nervous just let them know. Being honest will help. He might be also nervous and he'll feel better knowing that you both feel the same.

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