Men, do you feel weird getting approached in the gym?

[youdunsay]

The question is simple, as stated above. The bigger, trickier question would be, why do you not approach a girl in the gym if she once had sort of "eye-contact" with you? Is it (a) you are no longer interested or (b) other reasons?

[WomenWubber]

"Sort of eye contact" may not be enough encouragement for him.

[bluefeather]

It's not a tricky question at all. I'm sure most guys would love to hit on a lot of women they see at gyms (sweating toned bodies getting physical, practically in underwear), but most women are there to work out, so it could easily come off as annoying or even harassment. "Sort of eye-contact" isn't always strong enough of a signal at a gym setting. Try a smile and/or say hi.

[AspenBaldwin]

If I was man who is working out at the gym all sweaty like and out of nowhere this woman tried to hit on me I would imagine she is a very desperate creature.

[SwordofFlame]

If I was man who is working out at the gym all sweaty like and out of nowhere this woman tried to hit on me I would imagine she is a very desperate creature.

 

I disagree. I'm a gym rat and I would be flattered if a woman hit on me.

[JustGettingBy]

I'd be caught a little off-guard, but probably complimented.

[thefooloftheyear]

I go to the gym to train....I probably wouldn't know if she was standing in front of me naked..

 

TFY

[Grumpybutfun]

I go to the gym to train....I probably wouldn't know if she was standing in front of me naked..

 

TFY

 

Yep, I'm not there for social hour. I am there to train. When single, I found it annoying. As a married man, I find it tedious. If single, I would wait until the person is finished and walking out.

G

[Blanco]

I train hard when I'm at the gym, but I'm still a guy. I could be at my mom's funeral and still welcome a woman approaching me if I found her attractive enough.

[deckard11]

I don't get approached at the gym and I don't approach women at my gym. They are too busy laughing and making fun of me.

[Qboro90]

It's so cliche to approach a woman in the gym and usually doesn't end positively. I look at it as the girl is there to work out and exercise, not to get hit on or socialize with men. It also puts her in an uncomfortable situation if a guy asks her out and she isn't interested... Now every time she's at the gym she has to have in the back of her mind that this guy likes her and might be staring at her as she works out. That's not right and she shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable.

[lino]

It's not a tricky question at all. I'm sure most guys would love to hit on a lot of women they see at gyms (sweating toned bodies getting physical, practically in underwear), but most women are there to work out, so it could easily come off as annoying or even harassment. "Sort of eye-contact" isn't always strong enough of a signal at a gym setting. Try a smile and/or say hi.

 

This is the reason why guys won't hit on a woman at a gym. It's the risk of possible awkwardness and harassment claims. It's a place women have made pretty clear that they don't want to be disturbed.

 

I've met a few women at the gym. They all approached me and I was fine with it

[Imported]

Be more obvious than "sort of eye contact".

 

I am at the gym to workout. I don't just screw around and socialize, but the concentration I need to get an intense workout is not going to be lost because I talk to a girl at the gym. Working out is not deadly serious business. I don't measure myself with calipers. I don't have a posing trunk. I can work out hard, get results, listen to music, chew bubble gum and maybe even meet a girl while I am at it.

 

However, the gym is not a bar or a club. I don't just go up to a girl because she ...kinda sorta maybe possibly seems interested. I go up to her because I know she is interested.

[LookAtThisPOst]

The question is simple, as stated above. The bigger, trickier question would be, why do you not approach a girl in the gym if she once had sort of "eye-contact" with you? Is it (a) you are no longer interested or (b) other reasons?

 

No, men hardly ever have this problem, it's usually a woman that take issue with this.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

I would be more shocked than flattered because obviously men don't really get approached by women

[basil67]

"sort of eye contact" is hardly hitting on a guy.

[hasaquestion]

This is the reason why guys won't hit on a woman at a gym. It's the risk of possible awkwardness and harassment claims. It's a place women have made pretty clear that they don't want to be disturbed.

 

This. There's too many things that can go wrong. We've all heard women complain about getting hit on at the gym.

 

Its just not practical to be getting in awkward situations while working out. People go to the gym, say, 4 times a week and at 5:30. The last thing you want is some unnecessary dramatic sideplot because the girl you approached on a whim is always there at the same time as you.

 

A bar or club is a place people go to socialize. So for a guy, getting a certain kind of eye contact from you, plus the fact that you're there in the first place, is a preponderance of evidence that you want to be hit on. A gym is a place people go to NOT socialize. You need to convey that you're the exception, not the rule.

 

OP, if you do the right kinds of workouts, you could ask the guy to spot you.

[Leucine]

It's not a tricky question at all. I'm sure most guys would love to hit on a lot of women they see at gyms (sweating toned bodies getting physical, practically in underwear), but most women are there to work out, so it could easily come off as annoying or even harassment. "Sort of eye-contact" isn't always strong enough of a signal at a gym setting. Try a smile and/or say hi.

 

This.

 

Also I am there to work out myself and concentrate on that, not trying to figure out whether some chick there *might* be into me. If she makes her interest obvious (something that "sort of eye contact" doesn't quite accomplish) then yes, I would absolutely go for it. But that's something that has never happened to me in several years at the gym. I've been a witness to precisely one pickup attempt over the years, and I don't think that went down too well. Most women at the gym are listening to music from their headphones, which is a pretty clear indication that they just want to do their own thing and not get hit on, or hanging out with a group of their friends that you can't really invade just like that. Of course we would love to, but it's simply not the right place and situation to approach people most of the time.

Edited December 27, 2015 by Leucine

[LookAtThisPOst]

As a man, I wouldn't mind simply because I don't get women approaching me too much no matter where I am. I welcome the "side plot"

 

For that reason, I'm not one to have any dating boundaries, except maybe at work.

[youdunsay]

Overwhelming number of responses but almost equally divided into "Yes, it's ok" and "No, it's not".

 

A gym is a place people go to NOT socialize. You need to convey that you're the exception, not the rule.

I thought it is possible to make friends in gym. Now I am feeling guilty, like I am some sort of desperate female pickup artist. But I have to admit I have a crush on that guy whom I had been eyeing out for almost a year.

 

 

OP, if you do the right kinds of workouts, you could ask the guy to spot you.

I do practice freestyle but usually at a mousy corner because that is exactly where and when I hope people are not watching me. But what do you mean by workouts? I am most confident at running but I hurt my left leg many months ago.

[LookAtThisPOst]

 

Man, if it's been a year...I would say go for it. Let's just say if there is this "unsaid" rule about approaching singles at the gym...I would think after a certain amount time the SAME person has seen you for THAT long...I think you could break the "don't approach someone at the gym" rule.

[youdunsay]

Man, if it's been a year...I would say go for it. Let's just say if there is this "unsaid" rule about approaching singles at the gym...I would think after a certain amount time the SAME person has seen you for THAT long...I think you could break the "don't approach someone at the gym" rule.

 

Are you waving me a glimpse of hope with your magic wand?

 

I think my self-fulfiling prophecy is also bugging me. Typically, guys whom I have a crush on and those whom I think of them constantly (or regularly their faces pop up) in my mind would never become a real date. It has been so since I learn alphabets.

[nicco]

If a woman approach me at the gym, I'd me surprise. She'll probably tell me I'm using the machine too long. haha

 

 

I don't make initial verbal contact with women at the gym, unless we just happen to be near each other(water fountain, hall way, machines or front desk).

 

Also if she has headphones in, I don't even risk it.

I always think headphones = do not disturb me.

[GravityMan]

Most men and women go to the gym to work out. They do their lifting/running/whatever, and then they leave. Exercise training generally requires focus on the task at hand, and therefore being approached by someone may come off as distracting or even irritating. Maybe even dangerous if he/she's in the middle of a set.

 

Hopefully, back when you were a kid, your parents taught you that it's generally impolite and rude to interrupt someone unless you have a very good reason. That's "Social Awareness 101", OP.

 

Most men and women go to the grocery store to shop. They find and buy their groceries and then they leave.

 

Most men and women go to work to do their jobs. They do their jobs (which may include some socializing if it's part of the job itself or part of an expectation for rapport and team-building) and then they go home.

 

Most men and women go to the bar to drink, unwind and have a good time usually with people they know (e.g. friends, acquaintances, colleagues).

 

Most people go to Starbucks or some other coffee shop to have their morning coffee/latte/espresso. Perhaps they'll whip out their phone or tablet or laptop to check up on morning news and get ready for the workday.

 

Similarly for most other places people go to. The vast majority of people (aside from weirdos and the socially unaware/inept) generally don't go anywhere for the specific purpose of meeting and approaching strangers. Meetup groups are sort-of an exception, but even then there are unwritten rules/expectations that most people intuitively know and respect.

 

Most people meet new people naturally and spontaneously within their normal day-to-day lives and routines. It's like a nice bonus. That goes for new dating prospects and new friendships. It helps if the person is in a good mood and gives off an open, inviting, approachable vibe.

 

I'm not saying that you should never approach a woman at the gym or store or anywhere else. Men approach women everywhere all the time...sometimes it works out, often it doesn't. I'm just saying that you need to have some social awareness, courtesy and common sense when deciding whether to approach someone. If the woman looks busy or focused, leave her alone. (And that includes NOT staring at her from across the room like a creep.) At the gym, perhaps an OK time to go have a chat is after her workout is done...but even then, if she's in a hurry to leave, or just doesn't want to be bothered...then leave her be. Also be respectful of the other folks in the gym and their workouts.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I'm not saying that you should never approach a woman at the gym or store or anywhere else. Men approach women everywhere all the time...sometimes it works out, often it doesn't.

 

Right, for instance, my mom met my dad at the beach because they were parked next to each other.

 

I mean, you could say, "I just go to the beach to catch some rays, read, and/or play in the water and not to get 'hit on'." Of course, this is today's attitude. *shrug*

 

One could come up with a billion excuses not to talk to someone.