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Why do guys get defensive when a girl only has 1 pic on OLD?


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So, I only have 1 picture on OLD, its a recent picture, my face is clearing shown, its a full body shot, where my whole body is visible. I'm not "hiding anything. I don't feel the need to post like 10 pictures of myself. Alot of times guys will message me and then later on ask me why I have only 1 picture. I think 1 picture is enough! Then I start getting "suggestions" that I need to post more pics. And to top that off, when we exchange numbers and we start texting, the guy demands me to send more pics because "I only had 1 picture." I'm like what the heck??? What..now if I posted like 15 pictures of myself on my online dating profile will that mean that a guy will want to "date" me and make me his girlfriend, then wife? Or will that mean a marriage proposal if I had 15 pictures? And all this BEFORE meeting up with the guy... while I'm still talking to a complete stranger. Why all this fuss over having 1 picture when I haven't even met this person??? I'm I suppose to take breast shots, butt crack shots, duck face shots or something?

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guys are visual seekers. Never assume they like you for your personality or ambitions. online dating sites are destined to boil down to "whatcha look like before I take you out for a test drive". Sad, but true.

 

I tend to not be photogenic, and most folks that get a preconceived idea based off the picture are pleasantly surprised when meeting. By then though I've put any delight in dating a superficial person in a file and left it there. Nothing wrong with eye candy .... its when thats ALL they can comprehend that things go south. No substance reallly...

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acrosstheuniverse

You get a better feel for how someone looks IRL with a selection of photos rather than just the one. One photo can be a 'good' shot with perfect flaw-neutralising lighting, a good angle that drops 15lbs off someone's weight, can show them in really stylish clothes which come out once per year rather than their everyday wear etc. Too many people have been burnt by going out on dates and wasting time with people they're not attracted to because their profile picture was misleading, taken years ago, when they were thinner etc.

 

It's your right not to put more on, totally your choice. But don't complain or act surprised if it hampers your results when online dating. As a woman I'd like to see at least three photos of a guy in a variety of settings before feeling comfortable going out with him on a date, although that's just preference and not a hard and fast rule.

 

This day and age when the majority of people have tens if not hundreds or a thousand - plus photos of them available easily, most people possessing a smartphone which takes pictures, most people having a facebook account full of photos taken by others, to only have one photo looks suspicious as though you're hiding something.

 

Don't take photos of your ass crack for online dating by the way, sends the wrong message unless you're looking for casual. A selfie, a photo of you with friends dressed up on a night out, and something more casual in another setting are all appropriate. An especially good idea is a photo of you doing a hobby you enjoy. Makes you look interesting and gives guys writing to you something they can mention straight away.

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wanted to add since my pals are here visiting, since photo shopped pics are all the norm... until ya meet them and have the rl encounter... vesting in pics instead of the person seems counter intuitive.. Short of someone catfishing...a pic is not going to persuade .. or dissuade a genuine interest.

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Like what has already been said before, it might have just been a good shot, or the picture could be old.

 

Maybe the guy you were talking to wanted to make sure it was really you in the picture. When someone only has one photo I also can't help but think that the girl could be a catfish.

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You get a better feel for how someone looks IRL with a selection of photos rather than just the one. One photo can be a 'good' shot with perfect flaw-neutralising lighting, a good angle that drops 15lbs off someone's weight, can show them in really stylish clothes which come out once per year rather than their everyday wear etc. Too many people have been burnt by going out on dates and wasting time with people they're not attracted to because their profile picture was misleading, taken years ago, when they were thinner etc.

 

It's your right not to put more on, totally your choice. But don't complain or act surprised if it hampers your results when online dating. As a woman I'd like to see at least three photos of a guy in a variety of settings before feeling comfortable going out with him on a date, although that's just preference and not a hard and fast rule.

 

This day and age when the majority of people have tens if not hundreds or a thousand - plus photos of them available easily, most people possessing a smartphone which takes pictures, most people having a facebook account full of photos taken by others, to only have one photo looks suspicious as though you're hiding something.

 

Don't take photos of your ass crack for online dating by the way, sends the wrong message unless you're looking for casual. A selfie, a photo of you with friends dressed up on a night out, and something more casual in another setting are all appropriate. An especially good idea is a photo of you doing a hobby you enjoy. Makes you look interesting and gives guys writing to you something they can mention straight away.

 

Yeah, I see your point, I guess I will put up at least 3 pictures, that will be my limit. But I really don't need to get alot of b.s. from guys asking why I don't have "more" pics. If they don't like it, they can next me and not bother messaging me at all, they do have the luxury of focusing their attention on a girl that has 15 pictures. There are some guys that aren't bothered by it at all about pictures, and they don't care about it.

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Stage5Clinger

I'm personally cool with one pic on OLD -- I just assume no matter what you're going to look at least slightly different in real life.

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Frank2thepoint
Why all this fuss over having 1 picture when I haven't even met this person???

 

They may think the person in the single photo is not the real you.

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circlesinfinity
So, I only have 1 picture on OLD, its a recent picture, my face is clearing shown, its a full body shot, where my whole body is visible. I'm not "hiding anything. I don't feel the need to post like 10 pictures of myself. Alot of times guys will message me and then later on ask me why I have only 1 picture. I think 1 picture is enough! Then I start getting "suggestions" that I need to post more pics. And to top that off, when we exchange numbers and we start texting, the guy demands me to send more pics because "I only had 1 picture." I'm like what the heck??? What..now if I posted like 15 pictures of myself on my online dating profile will that mean that a guy will want to "date" me and make me his girlfriend, then wife? Or will that mean a marriage proposal if I had 15 pictures? And all this BEFORE meeting up with the guy... while I'm still talking to a complete stranger. Why all this fuss over having 1 picture when I haven't even met this person??? I'm I suppose to take breast shots, butt crack shots, duck face shots or something?

 

 

I want to know this too.

 

 

I am on meetme.com but only because I want to chat and maybe make new friends. I am not sure if I even want to see them in person yet...

 

 

For me, I refuse to post any photos of myself. I told them that I am not going to and some stopped contacting me while others are still trying to fish for a photo of me.

 

 

Nope.

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One possibility

 

IMO, if you're good with one picture, one picture is good for you, especially as described here.

 

I recall, whoa now nearly two decades ago, responding to an ad which had no pictures because I liked the sound of it, and getting this picture back with a response, and that was all I had until I met the person in real life some 6000 miles away. Let's just say the picture didn't do her justice and we had some really good times together.

 

Guys will act like they do. The decision is whether their words and actions line up in a compatible manner with your relationship desires and attraction style. If they do, OK; if not, back to the billions.

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They may think the person in the single photo is not the real you.

 

They can decide that when they meet me in real life..15-30 minutes of their time isn't going to take up their entire evening. Besides, how many complaints have I heard from guys saying that their dates didn't look nothing like their pictures even when she posted more than 5 photos on OLD? But that's just me. And I don't know why some think 1 pic is a catfish scenario. I've seen episodes of catfish when either the guy or girl would send countless pictures of them either through texting/facebook, or any other social media-so because of the countless photos, they assume they are talking to the real person that they say they are until they actual meet them in real life only to find out-they were catfishing them. So, either way having 100 pictures isn't going to do justice until meeting in person flesh and blood.

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Just ignore them. When I did OLD, I never post any pictures. In real life, women meet men more easily, so we tend to not try very hard online.

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Just ignore them. And don't have any expectation on OLD. All they are liking is the pictures.

 

I easily got some likes, but in the end the men who liked "me" are actually liking my pictures, because they lack of interest in messaging me at all. There was only one guy actually read my profile and asked me questions on my profile.

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Frank2thepoint
They can decide that when they meet me in real life..15-30 minutes of their time isn't going to take up their entire evening. Besides, how many complaints have I heard from guys saying that their dates didn't look nothing like their pictures even when she posted more than 5 photos on OLD? But that's just me. And I don't know why some think 1 pic is a catfish scenario. I've seen episodes of catfish when either the guy or girl would send countless pictures of them either through texting/facebook, or any other social media-so because of the countless photos, they assume they are talking to the real person that they say they are until they actual meet them in real life only to find out-they were catfishing them. So, either way having 100 pictures isn't going to do justice until meeting in person flesh and blood.

 

So then just post 2 or 3 photos of yourself, each different. Posting 3 different photos of yourself won't be a monumental task for you, and it should reduce the amount of men that ask for more photos.

 

 

In real life, women meet men more easily, so we tend to not try very hard online.

 

Nor in person too. ;)

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Just ignore them. When I did OLD, I never post any pictures. In real life, women meet men more easily, so we tend to not try very hard online.

 

I would never write a woman who has no pictures at all on her profile, but you're probably right. I've seen girls on Tinder using pictures of objects, pets, a quote, etc., and write something like "I'll send you photos of myself if we have a match." I wouldn't go for that, but I guess it's working for them.

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I didn't even put a photo on my profile (I wasn't ready to put that much effort into OLD and was curious if anyone would contact me without one). One man reached out and we've been chatting for a week. He's cute, open, honest, and seems down to earth. He never asked what I look like, but he did ask to meet me this weekend. He said if I am anything like my heart and wit he is sure he will like me. I asked for his email address and sent him a couple photos though, I mean it's only fair. He liked the pictures :-)

 

Why anyone would complain about one photo that clearly shows what you look like is beyond me.

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So how did you know he's cute ScienceGal? I bet he has some pictures on his profile that helped to convince you besides the conversations.

But congrats anyway!

 

And you're right, I prefer at least two, but one clear picture should be enough.

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So how did you know he's cute ScienceGal? I bet he has some pictures on his profile that helped to convince you besides the conversations.

But congrats anyway!

 

And you're right, I prefer at least two, but one clear picture should be enough.

 

Yes. He has photos.

 

I was not expecting anyone to message me since I do not have any posted. I am easing into OLD. I'm just looking at profiles and getting a feel for it. I plan to put a photo up when I am ready to really engage with multiple people.

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GunslingerRoland

1) A lot of online cat-fishing. Not that it's hard to steal multiple pics from the same person and put them up, but it's a little more work than stealing a single picture.

 

2) Everyone has photo's that look absolutely nothing like them. Maybe the guy just wants to make sure you really look that picture and it wasn't just some odd ball picture that makes you look much better than you really are.

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  • 1 month later...
1) A lot of online cat-fishing. Not that it's hard to steal multiple pics from the same person and put them up, but it's a little more work than stealing a single picture.

 

2) Everyone has photo's that look absolutely nothing like them. Maybe the guy just wants to make sure you really look that picture and it wasn't just some odd ball picture that makes you look much better than you really are.

 

I'm not on OLD but have helped a couple of friends set up accounts and we go through profiles.

 

Exactly right...they skip the one photo profiles. More likely to be a fake profile than one with multiple photos. A photo in some local spot adds credibility. Best to have at least 3 photos of which one hasa familiar background. This isn't a 'necessity' but increases the odds of contact.

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SincereOnlineGuy

 

 

Why do guys get defensive when a girl only has 1 pic on OLD?

 

So, I only have 1 picture on OLD, its a recent picture, my face is clearing shown, its a full body shot, where my whole body is visible. I'm not "hiding anything. I don't feel the need to post like 10 pictures of myself. Alot of times guys will message me and then later on ask me why I have only 1 picture. I think 1 picture is enough! Then I start getting "suggestions" that I need to post more pics. And to top that off, when we exchange numbers and we start texting, the guy demands me to send more pics because "I only had 1 picture." I'm like what the heck??? What..now if I posted like 15 pictures of myself on my online dating profile will that mean that a guy will want to "date" me and make me his girlfriend, then wife? Or will that mean a marriage proposal if I had 15 pictures? And all this BEFORE meeting up with the guy... while I'm still talking to a complete stranger. Why all this fuss over having 1 picture when I haven't even met this person??? I'm I suppose to take breast shots, butt crack shots, duck face shots or something?

 

 

 

How is any of that "defensive" ???

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Rejected Rosebud

You don't have to if you don't want but don't be mad or expect those guys to want to meet you. There are alot of posts on here about how guys feel they were bait and switched because the girl looked different. It's really important how you look to some people.

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I post 4 or 5. I can look different in pics. Depending on the light and angles of the shots. I'm a big girl and don't wanna be accused of hiding anything

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The word you are looking for is demanding, not defensive. You're feeling defensive. ;)

 

I demand as many pics as i have up, which are 5 full body and face shots.

 

Not everyone has 5 pics to share and that's ok, so long as with a couple of them, i can get an idea of what she looks like.

 

Nothing worse than having 5 pics up, a girl having one, then SHE asks for more.

 

That, i take offense to.

 

You should have a few pics though. Makes for a lot less wasted time. Better to have someone not attracted to you never send a first message than waste all that time chit chatting, only to find later, with more pics (or worse in real life), that there isn't a level of attraction.

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guys are visual seekers. Never assume they like you for your personality or ambitions. online dating sites are destined to boil down to "whatcha look like before I take you out for a test drive". Sad, but true.

 

I tend to not be photogenic, and most folks that get a preconceived idea based off the picture are pleasantly surprised when meeting. By then though I've put any delight in dating a superficial person in a file and left it there. Nothing wrong with eye candy .... its when thats ALL they can comprehend that things go south. No substance reallly...

 

Yeah, it's not like women are attracted to good looking guys or anything.

 

Only men would ever have interests in photos of a romantic prospect :rolleyes:

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