BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Why do people continue dating, having relationships, sex, in their 30's, 40's, 50's, and beyond? Why is it that a person is never too old to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, companionship, etc.? To me it has always seemed that dating, relationships, sex, is something primarily young people do, as in teens and 20's, etc. I feel experiencing dating, relationships, sex, in your teens or 20's is a huge, critical growth stage period in a persons life and if you haven't done it by a certain age, then you very likely won't live a normal life. I will admit, it often gets annoying and irritating to me whenever people say its never too late, you have plenty of time, better late than never, its not a race, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 (edited) Because we are gregarious creatures...we need companionship, we weren't made to be alone. Yes, dating does/is sorta linked to our biological need to reproduce - but, regardless of this need to reproduce, we still desire companionship. The thing is the varying degrees upon which the individual needs companionship...Some people need to be with someone 24/7, some once or twice a week. Well, having a RL is sort of required for a "normal" life...cuz, when we get a SO and/or have kids - its no longer about "us" anymore. We sorta have a "purpose". Now, single people can have fulfilling lives, it just takes a bit more effort to get off your duff and go out with people, find activities to do, etc. Getting married and/or having kids is an easy way to have "something" to do with yourself besides sit around and play video games and/or indulge the selfishness of single life. About teens and people in 20's "dating" having sex, and all that? I think dating is ok, but w/o the complications of sex cuz in your teens you have raging hormones, your brain isn't developed until like your 20's and it's hard for you to process the emotions that RLs take on you - especially if you're having sex. IMO, your teens and 20's should be the time where you're "dating" but more like friendships and light petting (no sex) in order to get to know more about the opposite sex w/o endless notches on your bedpost and/or confusing emotions for people you probably will never ever marry and/or have kids with. Ok, so I'm confused....your frustration is between whether or not you don't date/marry/etc by a certain age (20's, 30's) people say you're gonna have a sucky life; and, people telling you that you "still have time"? Look, we're no longer like back in the day where straight out of high school you had to be married. People have more options and the guidance/rituals that made people "marryworthy" out of high school no longer exist. So, preferably late 20's - early 30's is best to get married. Hopefully by that time both parties have finished education, got established in their jobs/careers, and know themselves better - thus making them ready and able to make a mature choice in a spouse. As for me, yep, I'm going on 40 and will continue to date...Why? Cuz yes, while I don't need someone around 24/7, I still crave human "touch" and masturbation ain't gonna cut it for me. Some people at/after my age - whether or not they already did the kids/marriage thing - date not primarily for sex like me, they sometimes just want "someone" to be with them. Like that lady I worked with in her late 50's who married a guy in his late 60's? You could tell that she was just getting old and was more interested in "somebody" - cuz she used to hike, bike, and was still working. He was retired, had back pain, a hearing aid and could pass for her father. I guess some people get to a point where they just don't want to be alone and date just to have "someone" around. Edited June 22, 2015 by Gloria25 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Why do people continue dating, having relationships, sex, in their 30's, 40's, 50's, and beyond? I wonder the same thing. I don't even know why people want to live past 30 - they're all shriveled up, washed up, life is pretty much over. Go to the retirement community and prepare to die, 31 year old geezer! 19 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I feel experiencing dating, relationships, sex, in your teens or 20's is a huge, critical growth stage period in a persons life and if you haven't done it by a certain age, then you very likely won't live a normal life. So, dating, relationships and sex are paramount to having a normal life? Are you kidding me???? I've had one boyfriend my entire life and I'm nearly 30. Does that mean I won't ever find someone? Um, NO it sure as hell does not. I'm not the type guys look for so I have only dated one guy my entire life and I don't feel bad about that and I never have. Besides, normalcy is boring anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 22, 2015 Author Share Posted June 22, 2015 I guess its because I'm often jealous, envious, and bitter towards people that got to experience dating, relationships, sex in their late teens and early 20's Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Why do people continue dating, having relationships, sex, in their 30's, 40's, 50's, and beyond? Why is it that a person is never too old to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, companionship, etc.? To me it has always seemed that dating, relationships, sex, is something primarily young people do, as in teens and 20's, etc. I feel experiencing dating, relationships, sex, in your teens or 20's is a huge, critical growth stage period in a persons life and if you haven't done it by a certain age, then you very likely won't live a normal life. I will admit, it often gets annoying and irritating to me whenever people say its never too late, you have plenty of time, better late than never, its not a race, etc. You just need to live your life. Don't measure it against other people's lives. It's yours. It won't be what you think is normal. It won't go according to plan. Most people's don't really, in spite of what it looks like to you. You can't control everything. Some things you must accept. But still it can be an interesting life, and it may surprise you what all can happen as long as you're getting out of the house. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 22, 2015 Author Share Posted June 22, 2015 And that jealousy, envy, and bitterness will make sure you never get to experience dating, relationships, or sex for the rest of your days if you keep it up. You really need to man up and stop worrying about what other people get to do that you don't. When there is something you want in life, instead of complaining about other people having what you don't, you need to make the changes necessary in your own life to earn it. I really hate the phrase man up with a huge passion Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I guess its because I'm often jealous, envious, and bitter towards people that got to experience dating, relationships, sex in their late teens and early 20's I still don't get your point... What? Did you marry and now regret that you didn't go out and play before settling down? Look in life when we take one path, we give up things that we could have seen/done on another path. That's life... Whatever bed you made, you lie in it. But, you didn't say you were married (or did you?), so I don't get your point about not having sex in your teens/20's if nothing is holding you back from pursuing that now. Look, some people have to start all over (careers and/or relationships) in their 40's, 50's, etc. That's life. And yes, it is harder to do certain things when you're older - but not impossible. Like me, I would like to get more great sex out of the way before I get older. I am scared that me wanting sex like I do now in my 50's and beyond is gonna make a guy roll his eyes and just want "vanilla" sex. Maybe I'll luck out and meet a guy in physical condition like Tom Cruise is in his 50's and who isn't all about sitting on a porch and holding hands until we die:p My fav podcaster gets calls all the time from people in their 40's, 50', and beyond who still are out there dating and meeting people. So, while what you are looking for in a partner may change with age (i.e. someone to hold your hand vs. sex from chandeliers) and it may be a bit more difficult (i.e. people with kids, divorces, baggage), it still can happen for you, so don't despair Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 "Youth is wasted on the young." - George Bernard Shaw I'm a much better companion and lover in my forties than I was in my twenties. I'm much more knowledgeable and experienced than I was back then. Much more skilled. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 22, 2015 Author Share Posted June 22, 2015 I still don't get your point... What? Did you marry and now regret that you didn't go out and play before settling down? Look in life when we take one path, we give up things that we could have seen/done on another path. That's life... Whatever bed you made, you lie in it. But, you didn't say you were married (or did you?), so I don't get your point about not having sex in your teens/20's if nothing is holding you back from pursuing that now. Look, some people have to start all over (careers and/or relationships) in their 40's, 50's, etc. That's life. And yes, it is harder to do certain things when you're older - but not impossible. Like me, I would like to get more great sex out of the way before I get older. I am scared that me wanting sex like I do now in my 50's and beyond is gonna make a guy roll his eyes and just want "vanilla" sex. Maybe I'll luck out and meet a guy in physical condition like Tom Cruise is in his 50's and who isn't all about sitting on a porch and holding hands until we die:p My fav podcaster gets calls all the time from people in their 40's, 50', and beyond who still are out there dating and meeting people. So, while what you are looking for in a partner may change with age (i.e. someone to hold your hand vs. sex from chandeliers) and it may be a bit more difficult (i.e. people with kids, divorces, baggage), it still can happen for you, so don't despair Nope, never had a relationship before Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I guess its because I'm often jealous, envious, and bitter towards people that got to experience dating, relationships, sex in their late teens and early 20's What about those who become quadriplegics, have debilitating chronic pain, have a serious crippling birth defect, get terribly disfigured in a fire, are born on a factory farm (birth to death torture) or as a research subject in a lab... the point is, many have it far worse than anyone posting on Loveshack will ever have it, whether you ever have a relationship. There are those who would be jealous, envious, and bitter towards you and your life and how good you have it - it's all relative. Seriously, watch this movie and tell me you don't have it much better than these beings, just by being born in your own body and not theirs. Sometimes it takes perspective to be grateful for the life you have, as imperfect as it may be: Earthlings // Feature | Earthlings Not trying to demean your concerns, but I really think a reality check would help you (or anyone feeling very sorry for themselves, and jealous of others). 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 "Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength." Betty Friedan See, with age I don't really look at my "age" per se - but I can't ignore it either. But I'm glad I ran across this quote cuz yes, I look each decade in front of me as a "challenge" for different opportunities and strength. Same here about my teens and 20's (even 30's), while I was "mature" for my age - I still had a brain/experience of someone that age and did some stupid stuff. I would not like to have to relive those times Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Nope, never had a relationship before Then what's your griping? Why aren't you out there living instead of mourning the past? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 22, 2015 Author Share Posted June 22, 2015 Then what's your griping? Why aren't you out there living instead of mourning the past? Its like I want a relationship but at the same time feel unmotivated to take action to get one due to not having had one earlier Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I have a sad mental picture of you sitting in your lukewarm,wallow-pity-me bath, playing with the little rubber ducky and having lots of bubbles, while we 30/40/50+ year-olds go out and grab all the fun - fun you could be having, but are too 'unmotivated' to go out and find for yourself. If that's what you want to do... Although the choice is yours. It doesn't have to be that way... Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Its like I want a relationship but at the same time feel unmotivated to take action to get one due to not having had one earlier Well thats no reason to get bitter at everyone else is it? Thats like saying I want to run a marathon but can't be arsed to train... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 30's like the death. Don't worry, it'll never happen to you ! Actually... I vote for a law making sex prohibited for people over 30, as well, not just dating. Once they've procreated (in their 20) what's the use of it !?! I'm also thinking about... hats. Mandatory. Old people get sunburns really easy. And dentures. Mandatory. For everyone. Prostate exams. Mandatory. Twice a year for all 30+. Walking sticks too. oh, and the same for high heels shoes - no more sales to women over 30. Ya all know Beyonce and Shakira and etc ? Hell no, no more high heels or shorts or bikini bathing suits for them. No beach at all, actually. but just so that we're not over strict with these people, I propose to have everyone send a nice pair of gardening gloves. Well, they will gave to start gardening at some point, no? it's only a matter of time. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 30's like the death. Don't worry, it'll never happen to you ! Actually... I vote for a law making sex prohibited for people over 30, as well, not just dating. Once they've procreated (in their 20) what's the use of it !?! I'm also thinking about... hats. Mandatory. Old people get sunburns really easy. And dentures. Mandatory. For everyone. Prostate exams. Mandatory. Twice a year for all 30+. Walking sticks too. oh, and the same for high heels shoes - no more sales to women over 30. Ya all know Beyonce and Shakira and etc ? Hell no, no more high heels or shorts or bikini bathing suits for them. No beach at all, actually. but just so that we're not over strict with these people, I propose to have everyone send a nice pair of gardening gloves. Well, they will gave to start gardening at some point, no? it's only a matter of time. Candie... I was enjoying today and now I just want to slit my wrists... P.S. My gardening gloves are a jazzy shade of pink... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Candie... I was enjoying today and now I just want to slit my wrists... P.S. My gardening gloves are a jazzy shade of pink... My mother bought me mine. They're green. How STUPID was that...? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 22, 2015 Author Share Posted June 22, 2015 Well not 30 yet but I feel if I don't have a relationship before 30 it will be too late in the sense that no woman wants or respects a man that lacks dating/relationship history, especially the older he gets Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Yes, or has too wrinkled a skin, not because of his age, but because of the aforementioned bath.... Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Well not 30 yet but I feel if I don't have a relationship before 30 it will be too late in the sense that no woman wants or respects a man that lacks dating/relationship history, especially the older he gets YOU are 27, for God's sake get out there and DO something, and stop posting apparently never-ending negative posts on LS. Stop the reading the RED PILL and MGTOW as that would depress even the most optimistic. They are purely internet based, no-one IRL thinks that way IRL, men just get out and DO stuff. They talk to girls, they find one they like and take it from there. Start looking for positive role models and positive stuff in general, instead of looking for the worst in everything. Are you on anti depressants? Genuine question. The past is the past, we never get it back, all we can do is try to make the best of the here and now. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 22, 2015 Author Share Posted June 22, 2015 Yes I have been taking antidepressants for a couple of years now Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Same ones? Same dose? If yes, you need to speak to your doctor about changing the brand/dosage, because I think after a while they become ineffective. A friend of mine is bi-polar: She has a review of medication every 6 months or so, because of the body's ability to become inured to the effect of it. Sometimes she remains on the same, with adjusted dosage. On one occasion, her Doctor/psychiatrist changed her meds completely.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 YOU are 27, for God's sake get out there and DO something, and stop posting apparently never-ending negative posts on LS. Stop the reading the RED PILL and MGTOW as that would depress even the most optimistic. They are purely internet based, no-one IRL thinks that way IRL, men just get out and DO stuff. They talk to girls, they find one they like and take it from there. Start looking for positive role models and positive stuff in general, instead of looking for the worst in everything. Are you on anti depressants? Genuine question. The past is the past, we never get it back, all we can do is try to make the best of the here and now. Perhaps coming from me of all people this will seem odd but I tend to agree with the above. If its something you really, really want then you need to figure out a way to do it. Yes, its hugely demotivating but you are 27 and not 30 or 31, don't see time as a factor but rather if you really want it take steps to get it. Or at the very least try. Again I understand where you are coming from at being unmotivated, I am the same butt he difference is I have decided I am not interested in dating anymore. You however based on your posts want to try, so go out and try! If it makes you feel better, pay a college girl to go on a date with you, yes its false but its better than nothing and you will at least get an experience, albeit a false one but an experience nonetheless. In all seriousness everything in life starts with a step. Link to post Share on other sites
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