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Evaluating my weakest link in OLD...


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So I emerge on the OLD market, and find limited traction. Messaged about 6 so far, zero response. Any ideas on what is limiting me from the below spec's for me?

 

I am:

*Associates degree

*Very solid career in a research field

*2 kids / divorced

*looks = at least average

*very athletic

*mid 30's

*willing to make another kid for the right reason, but not looking to right off.

*Able to connect socially very well in real life, but those IRL women are not ones I particularly seek, so I go OLD.

*A bit picky, i.e. no date is better than a bad connection.

 

So I think the Associates degree is a limiter, I am a couple of increments behind the crowd academically but not necessarily in view of careers / intellect. And the 2 kids is a limiter.

 

Other details: I am not finding single mothers in OLD very much in my age bracket, at least not ones I'd want to date (a few yes, but not many).

 

Am I missing anything? Any speculation on the message response rate for a fellow like me in OLD

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Messages I have had that I have not responded to and my reasons for not responding

 

Hey there what's up x

 

Bland - Clearly has not read my profile and he is also really young...

 

u beautiful I we love to no u more better Dan did if u don't mind,here is my number for more info abt me +*number deleted in case its real*,am *name deleted* by name

 

He is from Nigeria and I am fully expecting him to ask me to marry him so he can gain entry to this country or for him to tell me his uncle has died and he needs my bank account details before corrupt authorities steal his inheritance.

 

Fancy love I'm the right men and If ur looking for deep love I'm here honey

 

Both far too gushy and sound clingy before he has even said hello... I am probably being judgemental but all a bit much for me for a first message...

 

I'mHey there... Hope you're well...?

 

In an endeavour to save us becoming embroiled in an endless game of e-mail ping pong exercise in futility... why not let me take you out for dinner....and at worst a nice meal and stimulating conversation and at best...who knows....

 

Strikes as a copy and paste job to me. Also he is inviting me out as an opening? How about learning my name before a supper invite??? Again too much too soon.

 

Wow!!! You're really beautiful wanna chat?? I'm sooo bored it sucks.

 

I am not your entertainment and if your bored then what do you actually have to say??? Also way out of my age bracket...

 

Hi

 

I get so many of these... Normally from men who can't be bothered to talk to me like a human being but instead want to just have phone sex or cyber sex so I don't bother.

 

Opening messages that HAVE received a response from me and that have progressed to me either meeting up with them for a date after a few exchanges or that I wish would ask me out on a date;

 

Hi there

I've got 2 Rhodesian Ridgebacks (called Ben and Gerry); quite big dogs, but very sweet. What sort of dogs have you got?

How's your day going? I'm just making a cuppa at work (NHS), and wistfully looking at the beautiful weather.

Name deleted x

 

I loved that he gave some detail for me to comment on and converse, he found some common ground that we could talk about. Its light, easy going as though you were just saying hello while waiting to pay for your shopping or drinks at the bar. After several similar messages he would have got a date (and probably a blow job) but sadly its fizzled out as so many do.

 

hi

how have you been?

nice smile and hair

you look nice and positive

 

Complementary, he had read my profile to see that I am generally very positive. I was a bit half assed about this one but as I know some chaps are better face to face I wanted to find out more. Positive is also a character attribute... not just "you look pretty"

 

saw you peaking :)

 

Simple, a bit cheeky and again written in a way that is unassuming, friendly... I am trying to organise meeting this guy despite the fact he lives miles away. I only looked at his profile as he looked at mine first but it doesn't matter...

 

Squaky men sounds terrible.

 

And a life a little less ordinary is certainly the way forward.

 

Lee child is the ultimate page turner. Although choosing Tom cruise to play jack is a little suspect.

 

How is your Friday looking?

 

Its nice to meet you.

 

Name deleted

 

this guy I REALLY liked. His style was direct to the point. Offered an opinion and several points that I could converse with him on... I like his use of language and bluntness. Again though its the sort of fly away comments that you would pass in line at Sainsburys...

 

Hi there,

I could have sworn I sent you a message a while ago, seems I was mistaken.

In a nutshell I'm looking for someone to have some exciting new adventures with. Interested?

Name deleted. x

 

I liked the honesty and integrity shown by this message. Its saying I have wanted to contact you but I am a bit shy but what the heck, here I am introducing myself... hello... I really liked that. Also had a fantastic first date with this guy and really liked him!

 

I like it when guys give me their names in first or second message. I like to be asked for my name. I like it when guys are chatty and give me information about themselves and their opinions. Doesn't matter if I agree or not (it can be fun if I don't!) its just that its them, who they are. I am then speaking to a human being not a robot.

 

Hope this has helped and given you some ideas and pointers.

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So I emerge on the OLD market, and find limited traction. Messaged about 6 so far, zero response. Any ideas on what is limiting me from the below spec's for me?

 

I am:

*Associates degree

*Very solid career in a research field

*2 kids / divorced

*looks = at least average

*very athletic

*mid 30's

*willing to make another kid for the right reason, but not looking to right off.

*Able to connect socially very well in real life, but those IRL women are not ones I particularly seek, so I go OLD.

*A bit picky, i.e. no date is better than a bad connection.

 

So I think the Associates degree is a limiter, I am a couple of increments behind the crowd academically but not necessarily in view of careers / intellect. And the 2 kids is a limiter.

 

Other details: I am not finding single mothers in OLD very much in my age bracket, at least not ones I'd want to date (a few yes, but not many).

 

Am I missing anything? Any speculation on the message response rate for a fellow like me in OLD

 

6 people is not really a lot.

 

You can't message 6 people who don't reply and then think something is wrong based on that.

 

Its perfectly reasonable for those 6 people to not be interested. There isn't any way to tell what's "wrong" based on your stats. Your messages count too as well as what those women are looking for. But like I said, nothing may be wrong. If you messaged 50 for example with no response, then I'd start to wonder, but only 6? No...keep messaging.

 

What kind of messages do you send btw?

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LookAtThisPOst

Funny how a lot of my outgoing emails were tailor specifically to who I had written and not the typical "Hi" or "You're hot!" emails that women so often complain about, but yet my tailored made emails go unanswered. :p

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I certainly accept the right to ignore, no feelings hurt, but being an optimizer in all things of life, I thought I'd collect some wisdom. Perhaps after reading the 3 initial emails I have below, you wizards of connection can advise. It is very likely that both my profile, approach intensity, and ways are indeed reasonable, and that is fine; I just tend to run analytical on new ventures! One thing that I am weak at: I am casual and approachable in real life. On paper I write too formally.

 

Sample messages from me: (certain elements blanked out, certain odd references tie in to their profile).

 

 

_____

ONE)

 

I enjoyed reading your profile, it appears that you have diverse interests. I share some of that ambition, periodically bending the Status Quo in order to live life more completely; perhaps one example is that I am on Match.com... I'd enjoy learning more about you; I look forward to hearing from you.

 

Warm Regards,

_______

TWO)

 

In those few sentences you convey that you are adventurous, have diverse interests, and may have a fair bit in common with me. The “Balancing dreams and reality,” line is especially encouraging. What part of the “.............,” did you come from? Perhaps you will feel moved after reading my profile :) , if so then I look forward to hearing from you.

 

________

THREE)

 

This morning the Match.com email recommended you. While I trust my intuition a little more than their robot, in this case it seemed right. A combination of compatible qualities stood out when reading your profile: optimism, “........,” and “..........” How's that for punctuation?

 

Do your dogs normally just look at waffles as seen in the photo? Mine is better at taking waffles than staring at them.

 

Let me know what you think of my profile, I look forward to hearing from you.

 

Have a great day!

_______

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I certainly accept the right to ignore, no feelings hurt, but being an optimizer in all things of life, I thought I'd collect some wisdom. Perhaps after reading the 3 initial emails I have below, you wizards of connection can advise. It is very likely that both my profile, approach intensity, and ways are indeed reasonable, and that is fine; I just tend to run analytical on new ventures! One thing that I am weak at: I am casual and approachable in real life. On paper I write too formally.

 

Sample messages from me: (certain elements blanked out, certain odd references tie in to their profile).

 

 

_____

ONE)

 

I enjoyed reading your profile, it appears that you have diverse interests. I share some of that ambition, periodically bending the Status Quo in order to live life more completely; perhaps one example is that I am on Match.com... I'd enjoy learning more about you; I look forward to hearing from you.

 

Warm Regards,

_______

TWO)

 

In those few sentences you convey that you are adventurous, have diverse interests, and may have a fair bit in common with me. The “Balancing dreams and reality,” line is especially encouraging. What part of the “.............,” did you come from? Perhaps you will feel moved after reading my profile :) , if so then I look forward to hearing from you.

 

________

THREE)

 

This morning the Match.com email recommended you. While I trust my intuition a little more than their robot, in this case it seemed right. A combination of compatible qualities stood out when reading your profile: optimism, “........,” and “..........” How's that for punctuation?

 

Do your dogs normally just look at waffles as seen in the photo? Mine is better at taking waffles than staring at them.

 

Let me know what you think of my profile, I look forward to hearing from you.

 

Have a great day!

_______

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with your messages at all. They sound really good to me. A bit rigid in text but that its who you are so please do not change it as its not offensive or overly off putting and is showing a part f your personality. Its only 6 people though... Are your photos good? Some people are very "visual" so pictures showing off your best features (please keep clothes on though unless you want to attract the wrong sort!!!) often help.

 

I, personally, would have read your profile and responded to any of those.

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Funny how a lot of my outgoing emails were tailor specifically to who I had written and not the typical "Hi" or "You're hot!" emails that women so often complain about, but yet my tailored made emails go unanswered. :p

I tailored every single one, basically along the lines of this one of Toodaloo's templates:

 

Hi there

I've got 2 Rhodesian Ridgebacks (called Ben and Gerry); quite big dogs, but very sweet. What sort of dogs have you got?

How's your day going? I'm just making a cuppa at work (NHS), and wistfully looking at the beautiful weather.

Name deleted x

 

Only I don't have dogs (actually, having furry pets seems like a huge factor in whether you get a response, quite seriously)

 

I still elicited a response rate of <10%, maybe <5%, I don't remember exactly; I sent them in spurts; sometimes 20 or more and no response.

 

I would counsel, well, I would counsel against using OLD at all. But if you insist on it, I would counsel against putting too much effort into your messages. At least 80% of the women you message won't respond no matter what you type, so 80% of your messages are duds to begin with.

 

In fact, I think that you could probably just send generic one sentence "Hi, how are you? I liked your profile and figured I'd say hi" to several dozen (or hundred) women and do about as well you possibly could. Just copy and paste that line over and over again. Most of the women who respond are responding for reasons that have little to do with the quality of your message it seems, but rather have to do with your profile; as long as your message is more than "Hey" or "nice tits" and so on.

 

Basically, one simple, generic, non-sexual, polite, grammatically correct sentence. Pretty much anything more than that is going to be wasted effort.

 

I remember in the naivete of my youth when I would actually put a lot of thought into messages, read their profiles thoroughly, come up with a couple of common interests to mention. Simply not worth it. You'll spend all day at your computer only to get a few messages out, and probably no response.

 

When I started sending out simpler, generic messages en masse instead, I'd send out 10x as many messages, and saw no decline in the percentage of responses.

Edited by johndoe2
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LookAtThisPOst

Funny, some advised against just emailing any pretty face regardless of the content of the profile and find those who you'd think make good matches.

 

I have done this and sadly, it would rather shock me as to why they wouldn't respond or have no interest.

 

I'm big into Sci-Fi, comic book related genres, etc. I recently sent an email to a woman over 40 that had expressed this very same interest. Women over 40 usually can't stand these kinds of movies much less sci-fi...at least that are single.

 

Outside of just those obscure, male-dominated interests...she was also Catholic like me...had the same kind of value and belief systems like me...when I come across these profiles. I figured I'd be their #1 choice! But I guess saying, "Did you see the new Avengers movie yet?" or "You ready for the next episode of The Walking Dead?" (This was in lieu of them how they could talk about certain "geek" shows all day.)

 

Wrong!

 

She said, "Not interested." I replied, "I guess us being over 40, into Star Trek, Marvel, DC's didn't hook ya? lol"

 

No reply to that, but it's funny how I would contact these women with the exact same interests, belief system, values, etc that wouldn't reply back.

 

I am pretty sure that if we had met at a San Diego Comic Con or a comic shop, she'd be up for giving me her digits.

 

The above pretty much ascertains how online dating can be a crutch or deficient and how GREAT matches, like above, will indeed miss out on these prospects.

 

Don't get me a wrong, I'm not a fat, sweaty comic book nerd, I do have my non-geek related interests, too...but it's rather exciting coming across women my age bracket into this kind of thing that isn't married.

Edited by LookAtThisPOst
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Funny, some advised against just emailing any pretty face regardless of the content of the profile and find those who you'd think make good matches.

 

I have done this and sadly, it would rather shock me as to why they wouldn't respond or have no interest.

 

I'm big into Sci-Fi, comic book related genres, etc. I recently sent an email to a woman over 40 that had expressed this very same interest. Women over 40 usually can't stand these kinds of movies much less sci-fi...at least that are single.

 

Outside of just those obscure, male-dominated interests...she was also Catholic like me...had the same kind of value and belief systems like me...when I come across these profiles. I figured I'd be their #1 choice! But I guess saying, "Did you see the new Avengers movie yet?" or "You ready for the next episode of The Walking Dead?" (This was in lieu of them how they could talk about certain "geek" shows all day.)

 

Wrong!

 

She said, "Not interested." I replied, "I guess us being over 40, into Star Trek, Marvel, DC's didn't hook ya? lol"

 

No reply to that, but it's funny how I would contact these women with the exact same interests, belief system, values, etc that wouldn't reply back.

 

I am pretty sure that if we had met at a San Diego Comic Con or a comic shop, she'd be up for giving me her digits.

 

The above pretty much ascertains how online dating can be a crutch or deficient and how GREAT matches, like above, will indeed miss out on these prospects.

 

Don't get me a wrong, I'm not a fat, sweaty comic book nerd, I do have my non-geek related interests, too...but it's rather exciting coming across women my age bracket into this kind of thing that isn't married.

 

See I think its madness that she didn't!

 

I am not a geek but love the marvel films etc... I would have met up with you!

 

The only thing I can say is that there are some really weird people out there. I get it too. You just have to take the view point that these women are clearly not for you and move on. They are perfect strangers so their opinion of you means absolutely jack all.

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There seems to be some who view rejection (or non-response) as a reason to become depressive or think less of the rejectors, I don't. I never expected even half to respond, I am attracted to perhaps 10% women, so it is reciprocal, no big deal. Now when you are operating outside of a big metropolis, you try to optimize that rate to perhaps 25% or so to respond.

 

I am leaning toward my kid status scaring a few away (at least they have the same mommy, ha, ha.). Secondary to that, I know some divorced men who come out a bit zapped, indebted, and needy. While that is not my outcome, I hope I adequately project my reality.

 

The OKC statistical analysis 4 years ago stated that the use of the expressions: "How's it going," "Fascinating," and "Awesome," increases 1st message response. I haven't tried them. There is no formulae to my rhetoric, it's what sounds natural to me.

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No reply to that, but it's funny how I would contact these women with the exact same interests, belief system, values, etc that wouldn't reply back.

This sort of thing has been routine in my experience. In fact, how compatible a woman seems based on her interests and such doesn't seem to correlate at all with how likely she is to respond to me. Most of the women who have responded to me weren't the ones who had the most in common with me. Not necessarily the least in common either; basically, it seemed like playing the lottery. i couldn't discern the rhyme or reason of it; whatever motivated them to respond to me, and the other ones not to, did not seem apparent. I suspect the ones I was interested in simply had lots of choices and I never made the cut, and so the ones who did respond were the ones who were as desperate as I am.

 

Had the same experience with speed dating. A couple times I met women who not only shared my love of classical music but liked some of the same (somewhat obscure) composers I liked. I thought we 'clicked'; I was sure they'd be interested in wanting to see me; I mean, how many other guys share these interests? Neither of them of course was interested. On another occasion, one of the first dates I ever went on, was with a woman who I almost didn't check off on the speed dating sheet (and that says something; I would check off most of the women I met; I'm willing to give second chances quite generously, so I was willing to meet almost anyone interested in meeting me). I thought are four minute conversation was almost remarkably dull, so I was amazed that she actually wanted to follow up.

I am attracted to perhaps 10% women, so it is reciprocal, no big deal.

But it would naive to expect it to be reciprocal. If the average man is attracted to 10% of women, and the average woman attracted to 10% of men, then I would, in all seriousness, not expect the percentage of women who are both attracted to you and that you find attractive to be significantly above 1% (in other words, 10%*10%). In my experience, whether I find a woman attractive doesn't seem to have much correlation with whether they find me attractive.

 

Also, consider the possibility that the 10% of women you are attracted to are the 10% prettiest, smartest, most interesting women; and these women can get any guy they want, so unless you're in the 10% handsomest, smartest, and most interesting guys, they would actually be less likely to find you attractive than the women you don't find attractive.

 

I eventually learned to not bother sending messages to women who seemed 'too good', especially in the looks department (and in Okc, if it said 'replies very selectively') because I knew they were more likely than not not even going to see my message. This was of course before I change tactics yet again and started churning out messages all over the place like an assembly line.

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I am leaning toward my kid status scaring a few away

Why? Are you only trying to date women without kids? That might be your problem right there.

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Its a known fact that people are weird, that what looks good on paper doesn't often work out so I guess we just have to keep trudging on!

 

Awesome is a good word to use. Its very up beat and positive.

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LookAtThisPOst
This sort of thing has been routine in my experience. In fact, how compatible a woman seems based on her interests and such doesn't seem to correlate at all with how likely she is to respond to me. Most of the women who have responded to me weren't the ones who had the most in common with me. Not necessarily the least in common either; basically, it seemed like playing the lottery. i couldn't discern the rhyme or reason of it; whatever motivated them to respond to me, and the other ones not to, did not seem apparent. I suspect the ones I was interested in simply had lots of choices and I never made the cut, and so the ones who did respond were the ones who were as desperate as I am.

 

Had the same experience with speed dating. A couple times I met women who not only shared my love of classical music but liked some of the same (somewhat obscure) composers I liked. I thought we 'clicked'; I was sure they'd be interested in wanting to see me; I mean, how many other guys share these interests? Neither of them of course was interested. On another occasion, one of the first dates I ever went on, was with a woman who I almost didn't check off on the speed dating sheet (and that says something; I would check off most of the women I met; I'm willing to give second chances quite generously, so I was willing to meet almost anyone interested in meeting me). I thought are four minute conversation was almost remarkably dull, so I was amazed that she actually wanted to follow up.

 

John Doe...good post! :) Though, I don't entirely consider hobbies and interests to be "key", it DOES help...and I figured I'd be a GREAT launching point or ice breaker into an INITIAL email when contacting said woman. I can't help but even get a little excited when I see a woman my age into the most obscure, geeky things.

 

One would even say, "My dog's name is Remy LeBeau, and if you know who that is...then you get extra points with me!" Of course, in my opening email, I made a reference to the character, Gambit, in the film...and said something about how Channing Tatum is the new Gambit now, but preferred the original actor. Still....NADA from the dating prospect. It simply boggles my mind.

 

Again, I keep thinking this would be a big HOOK for them to see this and go "Wow, he knows who Remy LeBeau is!!"

 

But, there are times where even their belief system, religion, values, what they are looking for, etc mirror mine and still...of course...nothing.

 

They probably look at one physical flaw and go, "Ew...he's bald!" or "He's under 6 feet tall." and that's the end of that. All it takes is that sometimes, because there are some women that simply don't like bald, or short, or men with facial hair and move on to the next profile.

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Awesome is a good word to use. Its very up beat and positive.

 

Up till now "Awesome," was an internal thought, not a word I had used. I may add it to the vocabulary :).

 

Johndoe2, good statistics there; well not good for us, but mathematically solid!

 

Why? Are you only trying to date women without kids? That might be your problem right there.

 

Yes and no: I am willing to accept any with 1-2 kids (actually prefer to take one with a kid than make more myself, really cool with me). I am finding very few that are the least bit attractive, that have kids, in my searching age range (27-37). Attractive includes an intriguing mind, no projection of "You better - better not," hostilities, looks, maturity of language. So I am not saying there aren't good single moms out there; but in my location they just don't exist.

 

My area has a lot of attractive 27-37 types who never married or made offspring because they spent their 20's in grad school and fertilizing their careers instead of other things. They have little baggage, and a literate mind that challenges me; a few are stuck up, but many are not. They are dime a dozen and apparently also hard to get.

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JuneJulySeptember
Up till now "Awesome," was an internal thought, not a word I had used. I may add it to the vocabulary :).

 

Johndoe2, good statistics there; well not good for us, but mathematically solid!

 

 

 

Yes and no: I am willing to accept any with 1-2 kids (actually prefer to take one with a kid than make more myself, really cool with me). I am finding very few that are the least bit attractive, that have kids, in my searching age range (27-37). Attractive includes an intriguing mind, no projection of "You better - better not," hostilities, looks, maturity of language. So I am not saying there aren't good single moms out there; but in my location they just don't exist.

 

My area has a lot of attractive 27-37 types who never married or made offspring because they spent their 20's in grad school and fertilizing their careers instead of other things. They have little baggage, and a literate mind that challenges me; a few are stuck up, but many are not. They are dime a dozen and apparently also hard to get.

 

OLD is league based, so you might want to start at the middle of what you think you can get. If you get responses, than work your way up. If you don't, then work your way down.

 

Plus, as a guy doing OLD, your chances are worse than in real life.

 

Change your pics if you like and have somebody look at your profile. But essentially, it's league based and better photos can only do so much. For example, my chances of getting a GENUINE response back from a girl who I think is 'slightly out of my league' in OLD is effectively zero.

 

Just play around with it. See who you can get responses from and go from there.

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LookAtThisPOst
"You better - better not," hostilities

 

I wanted to point this out as this is rather a commonplace for mostly women in the online dating realm. It's as if they are speaking down or AT their audience to a point where they seem to have an axe to grind.

 

This is especially found in the "You should message me if..." section of the OK Cupid profiles as if they think we men are morons/bafoons. Of course, this mindset about men being idiots is already portrayed in the media...mostly commercials where the husband is appearing clueless and the wife jumps in to use whatever product that they are advertising as if it was the wife's great idea to use marketed product over the "idiot" husband who chose "Brand B."

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JuneJulySeptember

Also, having children and doing OLD is a disadvantage.

 

Sorry to say. Even I will cross out women with 3 kids or more. And I have very few true dealbreakers if any, but that is one.

 

If you are open to women with children though, that will help.

Edited by JuneJulySeptember
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I hear you folks, yep...

 

Then comes radius and age. At 36 myself I've been looking at 27-38 bracket, within 40 minutes driving distance (you set miles, but equivalency). I've never been tied into a lady with distance, if I open up my search radius to 1:20 driving distance then I can probably send messages to about 5x as many candidates, both due to area change and one metropolis in range. But with kids I am not moving. But if I drop to the 25-27 year olds, there is quantity, but I am not really into the generation gap thing just for looks. And nothing says they are going to be more responsive, less so... In real life I have 3 quality women who have shown moderate interest, I am just not into them, good people, yes, for me = no.

 

This reminds me of Tetris, when the blocks are piling up and the music is accelerating!

 

Thanks.

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LookAtThisPOst

Another thing that's sad is I keep seeing the same faces of the local single ladies in my area that are, of course, still on the site that have not replied. Sometimes I would send a follow-up email a couple of weeks to a month later thinking that they've exhausted all their options and would be willing to give me a go...but still, nothing.

 

They remain permanent fixtures of the site in an area quite lacking in the kind of men the seek. The only solution in their cases would to be simply relocate to a larger, metropolitan area or be willing to do long commutes of an hour or so to meet men on short meet 'n greets that have contacted them outside of their comfortable, geographic zones.

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JuneJulySeptember
Another thing that's sad is I keep seeing the same faces of the local single ladies in my area that are, of course, still on the site that have not replied. Sometimes I would send a follow-up email a couple of weeks to a month later thinking that they've exhausted all their options and would be willing to give me a go...but still, nothing.

 

They remain permanent fixtures of the site in an area quite lacking in the kind of men the seek. The only solution in their cases would to be simply relocate to a larger, metropolitan area or be willing to do long commutes of an hour or so to meet men on short meet 'n greets that have contacted them outside of their comfortable, geographic zones.

 

Men are more likely to do dates and see if anything develops/message women they might not think are crazy cute/go outside the box. Give a chance to someone if you may.

 

Women are pretty rigid in their physical preferences. As my previous experiment showed, women might not get as many messages as you expect. So, you getting rejected is probably less of a function of them having as many options as you think, and them just flat out not liking you/me. :p

 

*As applied to OLD.

Edited by JuneJulySeptember
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14 messages out, not one reply back. Initially messaging to a 35 minute driving distance (250k people region.) Recently broadened to a 90 minute distance (5 mil people region). I welcome thoughts on a LDR, but my logic doesn't really like flying out to meet, don't know.

 

 

Well, JuneJulySept, I have 3 must haves, and they are broad.

 

* Must be bright enough to interest me in various topics (or I can just stay at home and read). Bright includes respect of knowledge, and occasional reading, nothing more.

 

*Must look good enough that I would not regret any LTR, this includes basics like hygiene (done that, it was bad coupled with bad) I know what I want, keep the models, I live in the real world. But I also eat right & exercise, daily for 2 decades, so I want to start picky here.

 

* And she must be emotionally stable (at least more emotionally stable than my cat). Having feelings is great, feelings turning into a maelstrom is not (did that, it was rough).

 

 

Questions:

 

* Is a photo of my kids helpful (I've blotted their faces out)? So I clearly state I have kids, my kids look "Nice," it should be a selling point, but maybe not?

 

* In page 1 of this thread I gave examples of my emails, they are semi-formal. Do I need to tone them down a bit to make me approachable, getting more vague, less intriguing (intimidating)? I am nothing special, but I tend to write formally, I know it.

 

* A fair bit of my career work involves being in a small plane, do I muddy the waters with such photos, or is the whole small plane thing dangerous/scary to these prospects? Part of my profile objective is to give a glimpse not a biography, too much info turns me off (just look at the OKC sexual questions, and people answer those?!? Ha, ha, nope)

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