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Throwing in the Towel


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I_Squared_R

Here is what I have been thinking about the past few weeks. I have come to a rational decision to not actively pursue dating anymore. I have become very bitter from the dates and the rejections I have been constantly dealing with. It has come to the point that my perception of people has become very negative.

 

I understand there are many diverse opinions on this website and i'd like to give mine from a mid-20s perspective.

 

Dating among my generation is all about short term pleasure. I am sure you have heard of the "hook up culture" and since returning to college I have realized that it is very true. When dating there is NO consideration of the integrity of the person. It is funny how we are such an advanced civilization with some of the most intelligent people, and the most fascinating technological advances. However, despite civilization's advances we are still people who function at our most primal instincts.

 

Dating is a ranking system of survival and reproduction. Individuals seek a variety of good genetics, strength, money, and power that forms an "Alpha". The notion of an "alpha" is no different from wolves. In wolves the Alpha male is fit for mating while the beta male isn't. Another example is a manta ray, who leaps out of the water and creates a loud splash as it hits the water. This leap is to demonstrate the male's strength as a alpha male. We as humans are no different from these other mammals. On my personal account I have seen people spend their entire lives devoted to creating an image that is to attract the opposite sex - until they reproduce and then focus their lives on raising that child.

 

While the initial encounters in dating is a ranking system of survival and reproduction, the formation of "love" follows shortly after. Love has been scientifically proven to begin with lust (sexual)... Continued lust leads to affections that creates love. That is the science in a nutshell - the study is out there, but I am not going to look for it.

 

You could say that I am frustrated with dating. I am not attractive and it has been proven quantitatively from the amount of rejections I had endured. I was at the point that I didn't care who I was courting - as long as they weren't over weight. That didn't increase my odds at all and I continued to endure rejection. I eventually became numb to rejection and I was treating women like herd just going through my numbers game.. all the while I was studying the behavior of these women

 

This is what I found and the fact stays true for everyone: It is all about attractiveness (at least for my generation). My genetics aren't blessed enough to have a woman readily accept my courting. It requires alot of effort and aggressiveness in trying to convince a woman to give me a chance. Regardless of what I do, say, or wear -

 

it always leads to the-

"friend zone" AKA "Sorry I am not attracted to you".

 

Another excuse is the timeless-

"I am not looking for a boyfriend right now" AKA "I am still looking for that hunk".

 

I have heard either of these phrases countless times and I am not emotional about it. My decision to forego dating is a rational decision that is not biased from my emotions. I have just decided to put my energy into something that guarantees returns whether it's my career, a business, or my personal life. I have also decided that it is a waste to put energy into dating since there is no return on the time invested. There is tons of hours of my life that I lost to dating that I could've invested into creating a better world. Perhaps that better world is on another planet that ensures humanity's survival. That would be a hard thing for me to do because I despise humanity so much, but maybe with time I will learn to forgive humanity's idiocy.

 

I could go on forever about this topic, but I am pressed for time. I don't want to continue to waste time on this. I just like to create closure for myself by writing and thinking critically. I will check back to see some replies (just to satisfy my curiosity) but I am gone. Good luck to everyone else with "love"! (Youre gonna friggen need it :lmao::lmao:)

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endlessabyss

Eh, modern dating is a struggle. You're right, if you're not Chad, you lose, point blank.

 

 

By the time you are 30, the woman that you pursue will be looking for a beta male provider, and that is after they have rode the carousel for most of their prime.

 

 

This is a matter of environmental conditioning. Back in the Victorian days, high moral was considered attractive; in the modern world amoral behavior is attractive.

 

 

I have some family that have the same dilemma, but they don't want to jeopardize the values they deem important.

 

 

Your best bet is just to pursue other endeavors, and if someone falls in your lap, someone falls in your lap.

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SycamoreCircle

These sort of posts pop up periodically. A harsh analogy but they are akin to people who talk all the time about committing suicide.

 

Only the people you never suspect end up doing it.

 

These drawn out conclusions, OP, are your way of fighting for love. You will continue to fight. You will continue to lose. You will win sometimes, too. You will fight until you die.

 

So will we.

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I_Squared_R

Taking my post out of context doesn't prove my lack of success in dating. I don't act on my views against dating and humanity in that it hinders me incapable of social interaction. The only people who understood my viewpoints were my friends and now this entire forum. The strangers I meet don't know my thoughts so they don't judge me accordingly. It is the same as working for a employer you dislike - but are liked dearly by him/her (this happens to me all the time).

 

The problem is that women enjoy my personality, advice and they value my characteristics (at least that is what I think). While that shouldn't be a problem it is because of the strict standards of appearance that women my age impose.

 

My rationalization isn't a defense mechanism like had been suggested. I don't need to protect my ego because I no longer feel negative emotions. Those were buried a long time ago. I thought that chasing "love" :lmao: would bring happiness into my life. Instead it did the exact opposite and started to drag me through depression. I buried that years ago and pursued a life of adventure. I only returned to dating to see if anything had changed - it didn't, and I nearly dodged depression. I have to affix on some kind of goal or else I will slide into depression. It's a wonderful thing to work towards something that can be accomplished. Dating isn't one of those things.

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You're trying too hard buddy. You need to let it go and relax. Nothing 'll happen to you if don't get laid/GF.

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I_Squared_R

Where does it say I am trying to hard? You are making assumptions that I don't know how to do my job correctly.

 

Ugly people in relationships? I haven't seen it??? Im not even sure if I seen many people in relationships near me?? This is the hook up culture at work. There is no serious dating. Just selection of casual sex based on looks.

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Oh man, okay. Lol

 

You're sick to death of being rejected right? So I'd assume you're getting rejected a lot, am I right?

 

Okay now, if you look for signs of interest, you can save yourself a lot of time and rejection. You should be able to tell if a gal likes you, it fu*king obvious!

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lollipopspot
Ugly people in relationships? I haven't seen it???

 

Go to a mall. Any mall in America.

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I_Squared_R
Oh man, okay. Lol

 

You're sick to death of being rejected right? So I'd assume you're getting rejected a lot, am I right?

 

Okay now, if you look for signs of interest, you can save yourself a lot of time and rejection. You should be able to tell if a gal likes you, it fu*king obvious!

 

No I can't tell when a girl likes me because it happens once every solar eclipse. I think i'd have a heart attack if someone gave me interest.

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I_Squared_R
You are just making up excuses and giving up, because that is easier than accepting your faults and trying to improve on them.

 

I can't afford to fix the faults that I have. The faults I have would be altercation via plastic surgery. I am a pretty damn good catch as it is.

 

 

TBH I didnt create this thread to attract attention or have someone convince me otherwise. I just wanted to share my thoughts and I was curious if there is anyone else who has foregone dating? I dont even think priests do it anymore.

 

Anyways.. I am heading out to hang with some friends. Good luck to you all and keep an eye out for the next big entrepreneur (I hope). The possibilities are endless when you are liberated from the bull**** that is dating.

Edited by I_Squared_R
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Ugly people in relationships? I haven't seen it???

 

Search for "nichole337" in YouTube. She's been married for a year or two.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217
Eh, modern dating is a struggle. You're right, if you're not Chad, you lose, point blank.

 

 

By the time you are 30, the woman that you pursue will be looking for a beta male provider, and that is after they have rode the carousel for most of their prime.

 

 

This is a matter of environmental conditioning. Back in the Victorian days, high moral was considered attractive; in the modern world amoral behavior is attractive.

 

 

I have some family that have the same dilemma, but they don't want to jeopardize the values they deem important.

 

 

Your best bet is just to pursue other endeavors, and if someone falls in your lap, someone falls in your lap.

 

I believe this is what he is getting at, that Australian Dating Guru said this:

 

 

"Some nice guys have the mistaken belief that a woman will go through a “bad boy phase” and then eventually realize that she wants a nice guy who treats her like a princess. This belief stems from seeing very confident, assertive women in their 30s and 40s eventually settling down with a nice guy. Why does that happen? Simple. Women lose their attractiveness as they age. When a woman hits 30 years of age, she rapidly begins to lose value on the mating market. She eventually gets to the point where she has to accept whatever she can get because all the confident guys are either committed or still sleeping with women in their 20s."

 

 

I thought it was kinda harsh and cruel of him to express it like that, but I feel the OP deserves to have some sexual experience pleasures with a woman who is in her prime 20's.

 

 

Adam Gilad, who is a Dating Coach, don't know if anybody has heard of him, he said in one of his video posts when giving advice to older men on how to date, attract and seduce young women in their 20's, he said that sex with a young woman in her 20's is like a fast rock song, while sex with an older women is like a Beethoven Symphony.

 

 

These guru's really need to be careful on what they say.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217
Oh man, okay. Lol

 

You're sick to death of being rejected right? So I'd assume you're getting rejected a lot, am I right?

 

Okay now, if you look for signs of interest, you can save yourself a lot of time and rejection. You should be able to tell if a gal likes you, it fu*king obvious!

 

inexperienced guys can't, it's easy for us to mistake a girls friendliness for her being interested in us.

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Go to a mall. Any mall in America.

Well, there are plenty of ugly people who don't find someone. And presumably, they don't go to the mall.

 

inexperienced guys can't, it's easy for us to mistake a girls friendliness for her being interested in us.

It's also not a given that there are any girls who are expressing interest. It's not necessarily a game Where's Waldo, where you just have to be better at spotting the Waldos.

 

Nothing 'll happen to you if don't get laid/GF.

Wait, so one needs to get laid in order for something to happen, or is getting laid/getting a gf the something that will happen only if one doesn't relax or whatever? Your syntax is confusing.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217
You're trying too hard buddy. You need to let it go and relax. Nothing 'll happen to you if don't get laid/GF.

 

Ya but I don't see how the OP or me can make the desire go away

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LookAtThisPOst
Taking my post out of context doesn't prove my lack of success in dating. I don't act on my views against dating and humanity in that it hinders me incapable of social interaction. The only people who understood my viewpoints were my friends and now this entire forum. The strangers I meet don't know my thoughts so they don't judge me accordingly. It is the same as working for a employer you dislike - but are liked dearly by him/her (this happens to me all the time).

 

The problem is that women enjoy my personality, advice and they value my characteristics (at least that is what I think). While that shouldn't be a problem it is because of the strict standards of appearance that women my age impose.

 

My rationalization isn't a defense mechanism like had been suggested. I don't need to protect my ego because I no longer feel negative emotions. Those were buried a long time ago. I thought that chasing "love" :lmao: would bring happiness into my life. Instead it did the exact opposite and started to drag me through depression. I buried that years ago and pursued a life of adventure. I only returned to dating to see if anything had changed - it didn't, and I nearly dodged depression. I have to affix on some kind of goal or else I will slide into depression. It's a wonderful thing to work towards something that can be accomplished. Dating isn't one of those things.

 

To put it simply, you've plateaued.

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Ya but I don't see how the OP or me can make the desire go away

 

Chemical castration? Perhaps a lobotomy just to be sure? Lol, not that I've put any thought into it or anything.

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I_Squared_R
Look at how women treat the guys you know they are interested in, and compare that to how they treat you. A girl being friendly just shows that she is friendly. Look for women who go out of their way to talk to you or be around you. Physical contact is huge. If you notice she finds reasons to touch you, that's usually attraction. Friendly=friends.

 

Easy. The women that express interest in my friends talk sex, talk looks, talk anal, and they talk blow jobs.

 

I had a woman like that a few months ago after exposing my bank account. I had no interest because of that reason, but it was humorous to see the change in her behavior.

 

Here's a good quote ..

 

Her: "I dont know why I didnt give you a chance before"

Me: "Baby, you thought I was broke"

 

We met previously, but there wasn't any interest. We began talking over text since exposing my net worth and she was really interested. She had never seen me with contact lenses and asked for a picture. I sent her one that I thought was pretty good .. She stopped talking to me :lmao: Bitch forgot what I looked like? Short term memory I guess. She was a whore anyways.

 

I took advantage of that short term memory of hers and texted her last week. She wanted to meet on that Thursday. Her friend told me she has a boyfriend. Some loyalty she has. I didn't meet up with her because I think they don't make a condom good enough to protect me from that disaster.

 

It is the above, that describes dating in your 20's.

Edited by I_Squared_R
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I have heard either of these phrases countless times and I am not emotional about it. My decision to forego dating is a rational decision that is not biased from my emotions. I have just decided to put my energy into something that guarantees returns whether it's my career, a business, or my personal life. I have also decided that it is a waste to put energy into dating since there is no return on the time invested. There is tons of hours of my life that I lost to dating that I could've invested into creating a better world. Perhaps that better world is on another planet that ensures humanity's survival. That would be a hard thing for me to do because I despise humanity so much, but maybe with time I will learn to forgive humanity's idiocy.

 

I could go on forever about this topic, but I am pressed for time. I don't want to continue to waste time on this. I just like to create closure for myself by writing and thinking critically. I will check back to see some replies (just to satisfy my curiosity) but I am gone. Good luck to everyone else with "love"! (Youre gonna friggen need it :lmao::lmao:)

 

If you are mid 20's, you can safely remain at dating 25yr olds and less for the next 10yrs.

 

You should do what you are doing [i'm in the same boat ... including with the coming back to college part], but only with the goal of doing what's best for you and only that.

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These posts are in the same category for me as the 'Hey struggling guys, you suck with women because of this' type of posts.

 

Both open usually with no intention other than to generate discussion out of the OPs boredom.

 

Someone who really throws in the towel just does it, they don't make a discussion topic about it.

 

Kind of like the suicide analogy someone else made here.

 

I have two friends that have always been terrible with women. They just do their day to day things like the rest of us and use the services of brothels to keep their needs met. That's how you throw the towel in.

 

The world is what it is, some guys will just never get anywhere with women. Been happening for a looooong time and will continue that way.

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salparadise
My decision to forego dating is a rational decision that is not biased from my emotions.

 

Are you sure about that? It sounds an awful lot like your ego is butt hurt.

 

I have also decided that it is a waste to put energy into dating since there is no return on the time invested. There is tons of hours of my life that I lost to dating that I could've invested into creating a better world. Perhaps that better world is on another planet that ensures humanity's survival. That would be a hard thing for me to do because I despise humanity so much, but maybe with time I will learn to forgive humanity's idiocy.

 

Of course, if you're certain that your genetic contribution would ultimately dilute the gene pool then, yea, you could view giving up on dating as an act of altruism in that it frees up a womb or two or three for more tenacious contributors.

 

Your perception is your reality. Personally, I feel obligated to the 150,000 generations of tenacious pussy hounds who preceded me to keep on hittin' it.

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I believe this is what he is getting at, that Australian Dating Guru said this:

 

 

"Some nice guys have the mistaken belief that a woman will go through a “bad boy phase” and then eventually realize that she wants a nice guy who treats her like a princess. This belief stems from seeing very confident, assertive women in their 30s and 40s eventually settling down with a nice guy. Why does that happen? Simple. Women lose their attractiveness as they age. When a woman hits 30 years of age, she rapidly begins to lose value on the mating market. She eventually gets to the point where she has to accept whatever she can get because all the confident guys are either committed or still sleeping with women in their 20s."

 

 

I thought it was kinda harsh and cruel of him to express it like that, but I feel the OP deserves to have some sexual experience pleasures with a woman who is in her prime 20's.

 

 

Adam Gilad, who is a Dating Coach, don't know if anybody has heard of him, he said in one of his video posts when giving advice to older men on how to date, attract and seduce young women in their 20's, he said that sex with a young woman in her 20's is like a fast rock song, while sex with an older women is like a Beethoven Symphony.

 

 

These guru's really need to be careful on what they say.

 

There are dating 'gurus' in Australia?

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inexperienced guys can't, it's easy for us to mistake a girls friendliness for her being interested in us.

 

This in my experience is very true.

 

Regarding the OP poster, you have my sympathies because I have an acute understanding of how you feel because I am in in the same situation myself.

 

If it makes anyone feel better I am 5.9, slim, athletic and still useless at dating so this is by no means an "ugly" problem though the jury is still out on my face.

 

I think dating and friends are inextricably linked, the greater ones social circle the higher probability of finding date.

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Oh come on bro, you wouldn't be making tough guy who's alone against the elements posts if you were truely done with love.

 

Keep hanging in there.

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