LookAtThisPOst Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 There had been a few women I knew, one recently, that are usually entrepreneurs that have quite a large following of friends on Facebook and in real life. Though, there are some that have tons of friends on Facebook but know very few from real life, these people DO know a good percentage of people they've seen and had spoken to at length after connecting through real life seminars, classes, travels, etc. You can tell by their FB photos the amount of events they've been to and such and the amount of people they've met. Some are even extroverts and gregarious in nature. However, it does make me curious why they would explore online dating if they are in constant contact with the public? Always out being sociable and so on? I figured, the less of a social butterfly a person is, the more likely you'd find them on an online dating site? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 because they're a social butterfly. They're broadening their horizons even more. It's a bit like the choice between seafood, or a steak. Well, hang on there.... why not have "Surf 'n' Turf"...?! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 (edited) Being sociable is great, but I guess most of the people they are being sociable with, are not looking for a gf/mate/lover/wife/hookup/FWB/OW. It can be very awkward - if a woman socialises with loads of couples, or set in their ways singles - to be the one person in the group who is set to pounce on any man that seems the least bit available. Online dating in contrast, identifies those who are looking for a relationship of some kind, even if it is just for sex. Edited May 22, 2015 by elaine567 removed quoted text 4 Link to post Share on other sites
fardaxel Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Online dating is efficient. The stigma that online dating is somehow for "losers" is old. And untrue. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Some people swear by OLD because you get more concrete info OL then you do if you meet somebody in a bar. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Before I did OLD, there's a stigma that if you need to resort to OLD, you're kind of socially inept. However, OLD is an extremely powerful tool for women. Why any woman would not do it is beyond me. Why would you pass up the chance to have dozens of men message you? Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Being sociable is great, but I guess most of the people they are being sociable with, are not looking for a gf/mate/lover/wife/hookup/FWB/OW. It can be very awkward - if a woman socialises with loads of couples, or set in their ways singles - to be the one person in the group who is set to pounce on any man that seems the least bit available. Online dating in contrast, identifies those who are looking for a relationship of some kind, even if it is just for sex. Yes, this is what I think too. Basically, it's a focusing tool. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Because normal sociable people have trouble finding a partner too. This problem is not just reserved for the socially inept... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Someone might be meeting a lot of people, but they may not be the kind of people they would want to date. I used to meet a lot of people through work events and conferences, but I wouldn't date them because they were, for me, geographically undesirable, emotionally unavailable, age inappropriate, married to their work, different values and goals in life, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Why do highly sociable people need online dating? Efficiency. When one's dance card is filled, time is precious and lining up new dance partners is augmented by technology, with OLD being one technology. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Why any woman would not do it is beyond me. Why would you pass up the chance to have dozens of men message you? Why would that be so great?? I don't get that at all. I guess you must be projecting but nobody I know really wants dozens of strangers messaging them??? I guess if you are super insecure. Most people probably either want to meet someone to have a relationship with and they haven't in real life, or maybe for casual sex with people who aren't in their regular social scene I guess?? Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 (edited) Why would that be so great?? I don't get that at all. I guess you must be projecting but nobody I know really wants dozens of strangers messaging them??? I guess if you are super insecure. Most people probably either want to meet someone to have a relationship with and they haven't in real life, or maybe for casual sex with people who aren't in their regular social scene I guess?? Why would it be great? Every person that messages you is a blank slate. A prospect, a chance. Despite what people say about OLD being filled with weird creepy losers, I haven't seen any of that. Every woman I've messaged or met has been very normal. So, ask me again. What would be great about having 24 normal women message me and want to meet me and give me a chance to get to know them and see if we click? Where to start? Now. You might say "OK, but I'm not physically attracted to any of those 24 or more men." I mean, that's fine, but you're going to have the same problem magnified in real life because you won't have as much quantity to work with. To me, OLD is a coup for those who it favors. I also know some men have the luxury of getting messaged first and a high rate of return on their messages, so it's great for them too. Edited May 22, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 ged or met has been very normal. So, ask me again. What would be great about having 24 normal women message me and want to meet me and give me a chance to get to know them and see if we click? Where to start? OK well that's you but really don't project that on WOMEN, I would be exhausted and really bummed out and discouraged if I went through that to find my guy, Im an introvert and would really be stressed out by sorting though all those strangers, IRL I would not go on a first date with many men in this world so why would I like it online?? If I was single I don't know if I could even stand OLD, I would hate spending my time going on dates to nowhere, I would rather stay home and work on my projects or spend my time with friends!! So we are not all like you even if we're girls!! Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 OK well that's you but really don't project that on WOMEN, I would be exhausted and really bummed out and discouraged if I went through that to find my guy, Im an introvert and would really be stressed out by sorting though all those strangers, IRL I would not go on a first date with many men in this world so why would I like it online?? If I was single I don't know if I could even stand OLD, I would hate spending my time going on dates to nowhere, I would rather stay home and work on my projects or spend my time with friends!! So we are not all like you even if we're girls!! Well, the thread is "Why would highly sociable people..." yada, yada, yada. If you're extremely picky about who you'll give a chance to then real life is no better either. And I think you're projecting just as much. Most women have no problem feeling out a guy if he's cute/hot. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 OLD is the best thing ever invented for singles. As it was already mentioned, it's very efficient, cheap (vs. sitting in a bar, buying $9 dollar drinks) and fun. I could see where it could be intimidating for shy, insecure, introverted people but for the vast majority of folks, it's a great means to an end (meeting your next relationship). There shouldn't be any stigma or other BS associated with OLD anymore. I had a ton of dates over my single years from them after my divorce. As someone mentioned all ready, I never met any weirdo's or psycho's. Most we just everyday normal folks looking for their next relationship/love. The number one thing I tell folks doing OLD for the first time is to "filter, filter, filter".. My system always provided me with the best possible first dates. It was basically a screening. Each gal had to pass different levels of the screening before I met them in person.. Here's what it was. First, if I emailed someone I was interested in, they had to be a bit fun and clever when replying. If there felt like there was some chemistry in the emailing, I'd throw my number out to text with them. If they were fun and interesting in texting, I'd call them. If the same applied to the phone call and no red flags appeared, I'd ask them out for a drink. You'd be surprised how many women were disqualified during this filtering. The number one place they were DQ'd was on the phone call. I love on line dating. It was great to me.. Link to post Share on other sites
isRaven Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 The stigma that online dating is somehow for "losers" is old. And untrue. Agree, even though I've never tried OLD before. Anyway, about your question: Why do highly sociable people need online dating? First of all, it's not every sociable people if you ever think of it. Second, one just happens to fall in love right? Maybe they wanna look for connections, but then someone good steals their heart. Not impossible. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 To find people who are single and looking. Duh 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Your posts are strikingly similar to iirc33's and he is not here anymore. Hmmm.... Link to post Share on other sites
impatiently_patient Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 OLD is the best thing ever invented for singles. As it was already mentioned, it's very efficient, cheap (vs. sitting in a bar, buying $9 dollar drinks) and fun. I could see where it could be intimidating for shy, insecure, introverted people but for the vast majority of folks, it's a great means to an end (meeting your next relationship). There shouldn't be any stigma or other BS associated with OLD anymore. I had a ton of dates over my single years from them after my divorce. As someone mentioned all ready, I never met any weirdo's or psycho's. Most we just everyday normal folks looking for their next relationship/love. The number one thing I tell folks doing OLD for the first time is to "filter, filter, filter".. My system always provided me with the best possible first dates. It was basically a screening. Each gal had to pass different levels of the screening before I met them in person.. Here's what it was. First, if I emailed someone I was interested in, they had to be a bit fun and clever when replying. If there felt like there was some chemistry in the emailing, I'd throw my number out to text with them. If they were fun and interesting in texting, I'd call them. If the same applied to the phone call and no red flags appeared, I'd ask them out for a drink. You'd be surprised how many women were disqualified during this filtering. The number one place they were DQ'd was on the phone call. I love on line dating. It was great to me.. Completely agree. Going out isn't such great shakes a lot of the time, and gets costly and grows old. You sound like someone reasonably adept at online dating, and an fellow Arizonan (Phoenician?) to boot. Perhaps you can help me out on my profile thread. I want to take the plunge back into it, but my past experience was quite frustrating. Maybe you could put your proverbial two cents in on my profile thread? Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 There had been a few women I knew, one recently, that are usually entrepreneurs that have quite a large following of friends on Facebook and in real life. Though, there are some that have tons of friends on Facebook but know very few from real life, these people DO know a good percentage of people they've seen and had spoken to at length after connecting through real life seminars, classes, travels, etc. You can tell by their FB photos the amount of events they've been to and such and the amount of people they've met. Some are even extroverts and gregarious in nature. However, it does make me curious why they would explore online dating if they are in constant contact with the public? Always out being sociable and so on? I figured, the less of a social butterfly a person is, the more likely you'd find them on an online dating site? Online dating isn't just for losers who are hermits. You may be social and see people a lot but that isn't the same as being in a space where people are explicitly looking to date. I am in grad school, we socialize a lot, I go to various events, parties, bars, am in charge of a student organization and I see folks daily and socialize, yet I online date and so do others. The people I see daily are not always single or available or dating and flirting doesn't always come up. Online is direct. You know everyone there is looking to date so you can get to the point whereas in some social settings it's not as easy to know if someone is single or you should flirt with them or sometimes you for it and it doesn't go anywhere so online dating is just another avenue. Online dating's major benefit is that it is explicit and you know the pool of people there are looking to date or at least have sex or something romantic. This isn't something you have to guess about. Out and about its not as easy to ascertain and it's even harder if it's your social circle and you don't want to risk awkwardness among people you see often... Some people also don't choose to date within their social circle or simply may not currently see anyone they fancy, so online is another option. But it's not just for people who have no social life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 My guess? There is something...I hesitate to say "wrong" with them...but, yeah. They generally have at least one glaring fault that forces them to look online for a date. It could range from something simple like a heavy work load, to being a narcissist that thrives on the attention OLD gives. Should we also guess that people who resort to posting on online forums about their relationships or are regular LS members who ask for advice or give it are probably people with something wrong with them, who probably have no real life friends or probably never talk to anyone or go out so just have to type online to anonymous strangers because why would anyone who actually has real friends offline ever get online to talk to people they don't know and can't see and will likely never meet? losers with issues..the lot of us. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Should we also guess that people who resort to posting on online forums about their relationships or are regular LS members who ask for advice or give it are probably people with something wrong with them, who probably have no real life friends or probably never talk to anyone or go out so just have to type online to anonymous strangers because why would anyone who actually has real friends offline ever get online to talk to people they don't know and can't see and will likely never meet? losers with issues..the lot of us. Pretty much, I thought the online dating stigma was history. It's not something that desperate weirdos "resort" to. Its convenient, efficient, fun and casts a wider net. People may by highly sociable but can still be lonely in a sea of people where no one special person connects with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Auspecial Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Before I did OLD, there's a stigma that if you need to resort to OLD, you're kind of socially inept. However, OLD is an extremely powerful tool for women. Why any woman would not do it is beyond me. Why would you pass up the chance to have dozens of men message you? Because, I have a very full life and I don't have time to dredge through all the OLD crap!! Link to post Share on other sites
calvincline47 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 My guess? There is something...I hesitate to say "wrong" with them...but, yeah. They generally have at least one glaring fault that forces them to look online for a date. It could range from something simple like a heavy work load, to being a narcissist that thrives on the attention OLD gives. This is absolutely true. The women that I know that did OLD either had significant character flaws, were unattractive, or were extremely picky (or some combination of the 3). The men were either too shy to approach women IRL (and these men didn't do well online either) or they were players that used OLD to supplement what they were getting IRL. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 This is absolutely true. The women that I know that did OLD either had significant character flaws, were unattractive, or were extremely picky (or some combination of the 3). The men were either too shy to approach women IRL (and these men didn't do well online either) or they were players that used OLD to supplement what they were getting IRL. Wow.. this is so un-true and wrong on so many levels. The vast majority of people who online date are very normal, hard working folks who like the convenience that OLD provides. I know and have know plenty of great people who've used this medium to find great relationships and marriages. Are there a SMALL percentage of whack jobs on there? Sure, but anyone with a brain would discover them before ever meeting them in person.. Link to post Share on other sites
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