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Are friends that constantly criticize you even real friends? Are they jealous?


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Old 20th May 2015, 12:02 AM   #1
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Are friends that constantly criticize you even real friends? Are they jealous?

I've had a few friends who constantly would criticize me for what I did, what my plans were, etc, etc. I had this one particular friend from high school that would say whatever she wanted to -to my face. Once I told her I wanted to do glamour shots photos-she told me it was horrible and that the photos turned out badly, then she told me the career I was interested in-was crap and that it didn't pay much, then I told her that I wanted to move to Florida-she told me that shouldn't move to Florida because its a tourist state and its a bad idea. Then she told me that the sweater that I was wearing on a particular day was something that I shouldn't wear because they weren't my colors. To top that off-she would brag about her sex life to me knowing that I didn't have a sex life unlike her-she starting having sex at 13 and slept with many guys, which I thought was disgusting. Who does that? Even in my 30's-the few married friends that I have don't brag about that to me. I cut ties with her, I just couldn't take it. Is this what a friendship should be?
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Old 20th May 2015, 9:03 AM   #2
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Bobbi in some respects I agree with your ex friend... Glamour shots are not a great thing to do...

I think you should ask yourself this question...

She does however appear a little OTT on the criticism. Friendship is about support and honesty. Is that what you got?
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Old 20th May 2015, 9:24 AM   #3
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Does she actually give good advice after speaking negatively of you? If she doesn't or you dont value her advice then she isn't a good friend because her sole purpose is to satisfy her ego rather than help you. One important aspect of success is to surround yourself with people who promote you, add to you, and not bring you down.
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Old 20th May 2015, 9:35 AM   #4
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I don't know. One of my best friends and I talk that way to each other, and we are both fine with it. We worked together and some mornings the first thing we would say to each other is "you look like hell today." And if one of us wanted to do glamour shots I'm positive we would make fun of each other for it.

Some people are just that way. It works for my friend and me. We are brutally honest with each other, but we are also very supportive of each other.
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Old 20th May 2015, 11:04 AM   #5
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Honest feedback because you're concerned with your girl's welfare is one thing.

Cutting you down, being snarky and boorish for her own amusement is quite another.

I think your friend falls into the latter category. You're well rid of that rubbish.
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Old 20th May 2015, 11:07 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Toodaloo View Post
Bobbi in some respects I agree with your ex friend... Glamour shots are not a great thing to do...

I think you should ask yourself this question...

She does however appear a little OTT on the criticism. Friendship is about support and honesty. Is that what you got?
Maybe to her Glamour Shots isn't a great thing to do, but neither is having sex at 13 and having multiple partners with men that are 10 years older than her. So, basically sex at 13, is far better than having to do some cheesy photoshoot?
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Old 20th May 2015, 11:10 AM   #7
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If you want to do Glamour shots, then do them. You don't have to post them anywhere or share them with anyone. It's an experience you'd like to try.
If you want to move to Florida, then move to Florida. So what if it's a tourist's state? If you don't mind humidity, daily storms and occasional hurricanes, then go.
Wear whatever you want to wear. If you're concerned about your colors, then go have it done professionally. Don't take the word of someone who gets off by cutting you down.
If you want to pursue your particular career, research it well to make sure you can make a good living from it and do it.
Yeah, I had a friend who used to brag about her sex life ad nauseum. The operating word in that sentence was "had". That's just tacky and vulgar. No one wants to hear that isht.
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Old 20th May 2015, 11:27 AM   #8
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,if you can handle ppl telling you you are crap, then fine, friends start off happpy to have company and trust

i had three years of criticism, wish i had dumped her sooner, nobody agreed with her, which made her suspect, cruciallly, i saw no affection, just supervision, it made me feel awful, my confidence was fading, fifteen years friends

freinds must not edit your life, they can leave etc and you are stuck with their editing of your life, you are left living with their decisions, had a couple like that

Last edited by darkmoon; 20th May 2015 at 11:32 AM..
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Old 20th May 2015, 7:23 PM   #9
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A friend of mine turned jealous. We got along great for 2 years until her issues started developing - she would look at someone and think "Damn, why don't I look like her?"; today she's close to anorexia and has health issues (especially during stressful times at college there are days when she can't even get out of bed). Mind you, she was thin before all this craziness began - now she looks like a skeleton. I'm also barely chatting to her anymore, so I'd call her an aquaintance today.
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Old 20th May 2015, 7:33 PM   #10
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Everyone's tolerance for what someone else considers "just being honest" is different. If you don't want her opinion, stop talking to her about things she'll give you an opinion about. If she just randomly critiques your clothing or that type thing, tell her that so far she hasn't demonstrated by her own appearance that she is qualified as a styling expert.
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