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Asked out my coworker, polite rejection, but we've been talking a lot since


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Recently exchanged numbers, and a lot of back and forth texting. A little flirty it feels, but I do know she just sees me as a friend.

 

However, the back and forth texts have confused me a bit, as they're the fun banter-type texts I remember having back in college (she definitely makes me feel younger again). I still like her, although I know at this point the ball is in her court if she ever has a change of heart (and that's a big IF). It's not impossible, but perhaps not very probable either.

 

So I'm trying to transition her to just a friend in my mind as best as I can, but it kinda sucks too... I really think we get along really well. Our humor matches one another but I understand I can't make her like me, and sometimes you just can't explain attraction. It's either there or it isn't. I'm attracted to her. She isn't to me. That's life.

 

However, it seems she really likes me as a friend, and that's a pretty good thing too. It's nice to have someone at work you can banter and just be silly with. I certainly enjoy that.

 

Just wish she would grow to like me back in a romantic way, but I also know it's out of my control. Nothing to do but move on!

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Well, I'm backing off a little. A little airspace is probably a good thing right now. For me for sure. And for her, but moreso for myself. I tend to get caught up easily, and distancing myself can help the transitional period of moving a girl from "crush" to "just a friend."

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TaraMaiden2
Recently exchanged numbers, and a lot of back and forth texting. A little flirty it feels, but I do know she just sees me as a friend.

 

However, the back and forth texts have confused me a bit, as they're the fun banter-type texts I remember having back in college (she definitely makes me feel younger again). I still like her, although I know at this point the ball is in her court if she ever has a change of heart (and that's a big IF). It's not impossible, but perhaps not very probable either.

 

So I'm trying to transition her to just a friend in my mind as best as I can, but it kinda sucks too... I really think we get along really well. Our humor matches one another but I understand I can't make her like me, and sometimes you just can't explain attraction. It's either there or it isn't. I'm attracted to her. She isn't to me. That's life.

 

 

However, it seems she really likes me as a friend, and that's a pretty good thing too. It's nice to have someone at work you can banter and just be silly with. I certainly enjoy that.

 

Just wish she would grow to like me back in a romantic way, but I also know it's out of my control. Nothing to do but move on!

 

Please read my comment in this thread (post #5).

 

She likes you platonically. It's easier for her than you.

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JuneJulySeptember
Recently exchanged numbers, and a lot of back and forth texting. A little flirty it feels, but I do know she just sees me as a friend.

 

However, the back and forth texts have confused me a bit, as they're the fun banter-type texts I remember having back in college (she definitely makes me feel younger again). I still like her, although I know at this point the ball is in her court if she ever has a change of heart (and that's a big IF). It's not impossible, but perhaps not very probable either.

 

So I'm trying to transition her to just a friend in my mind as best as I can, but it kinda sucks too... I really think we get along really well. Our humor matches one another but I understand I can't make her like me, and sometimes you just can't explain attraction. It's either there or it isn't. I'm attracted to her. She isn't to me. That's life.

 

However, it seems she really likes me as a friend, and that's a pretty good thing too. It's nice to have someone at work you can banter and just be silly with. I certainly enjoy that.

 

Just wish she would grow to like me back in a romantic way, but I also know it's out of my control. Nothing to do but move on!

 

So long as you're OK with it, women make awesome friends.

 

The last woman I really fell for, and it was quite some time ago, the thought of her with another man drove me suicidal, so being friends was out.

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Please read my comment in this thread (post #5).

 

She likes you platonically. It's easier for her than you.

 

Help me connect the dots. In that post you seemed to make a point about the guy asking her out of left field. I think she knew I liked her. And after I asked her out, we remained close coworkers. Sure, she might view me as strictly platonic, but shouldn't she also be aware that teasing back and forth texting could lead a guy on, as opposed to setting up strict boundaries as to let me know hey buddy, you're just a friend, sorry.

 

I mean, we were texting nonstop from 10-11:30 on a work night. It was all one upmanship games too... very fun, light-hearted stuff. It kinda gave me hope that maybe she was coming around.

 

Sometimes a guy has to let a girl know he likes her before it strikes her that hey, this might be a viable candidate. And then over time she can assess him and if he checks enough boxes, then maybe she'll give him the proverbial chance.

 

That's my secret hope with this situation. I threw my name in the hat, I wasn't a home run, but I know for girls that guys CAN grow on them over time. Was hoping our banter as of late is just that, but maybe I'm sorely mistaken?

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TaraMaiden2
Help me connect the dots. In that post you seemed to make a point about the guy asking her out of left field. I think she knew I liked her. And after I asked her out, we remained close coworkers. Sure, she might view me as strictly platonic, but shouldn't she also be aware that teasing back and forth texting could lead a guy on, as opposed to setting up strict boundaries as to let me know hey buddy, you're just a friend, sorry.

No, she has nothing further to add, nor does she need to. She made it clear already that as far as she is concerned, she doesn't view you as dating material.

So now, the persistence and lack of clarity, is your problem, not hers.

She shouldn't be aware of anything. She already knows her position.

And so do you.

so this continued confusion is on your shoulders....your persistence is both misguided and problematic, but only for you....

 

I mean, we were texting nonstop from 10-11:30 on a work night. It was all one upmanship games too... very fun, light-hearted stuff. It kinda gave me hope that maybe she was coming around.

Why? How? In what way?

Other than in your (mistaken) perception?

 

Sometimes a guy has to let a girl know he likes her before it strikes her that hey, this might be a viable candidate. And then over time she can assess him and if he checks enough boxes, then maybe she'll give him the proverbial chance.

 

Forgive me, but what part of "no, we're just friends" do you not get....?

 

That's my secret hope with this situation. I threw my name in the hat, I wasn't a home run, but I know for girls that guys CAN grow on them over time. Was hoping our banter as of late is just that, but maybe I'm sorely mistaken?

Well, I would say the penny's dropped and you're correct.

You're sorely mistaken.

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Help me connect the dots. In that post you seemed to make a point about the guy asking her out of left field. I think she knew I liked her. And after I asked her out, we remained close coworkers. Sure, she might view me as strictly platonic, but shouldn't she also be aware that teasing back and forth texting could lead a guy on, as opposed to setting up strict boundaries as to let me know hey buddy, you're just a friend, sorry.

 

That may just be her personality. I have a friend who's flirty with everyone, male and female. She's been married 30 years. It's true a lot of guys mistake it for her especially being interested in them, but it's just her personality, and it's a good one, so no reason to feel she needs to pull it back.

 

As for accepting that it's a "no," put yourself in her position. If, say, a woman at work who you had no attraction for because she's just not your type or she's not the right shape or she reminds you of your sister or your third grade teacher, asked you out and you said no but you're fine being friends and then it became clear she was still trying to get you to change your mind and was waiting for you to come around and remaining flirty, how long before you finally become attracted to her and want to date her?

 

How can you possibly still think "we'd be good together" when she's not the least bit attracted to you and doesn't see enough commonality to even go on one date with you?

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Forgive me, but what part of "no, we're just friends" do you not get....?

 

I never said she said "no, we're just friends."

 

Perhaps that was what threw me off. When I hear that clearly and directly, it's easier for me to just move on.

 

To be specific, her words were:

 

"Aww, I'm flattered! But I made a vow not to date my first year on the job."

 

So it wasn't a direct no, although 99.9% that was basically what it was.

 

Her first year is ending but no worries, I do not plan to go up to her and be like "So, the first year is over now. So, about that date?"

 

I know better.

 

If she was serious about that pact and is growing more interested in me, then she will let me know.

 

I don't have to ask her out again. It would violate boundaries. She knows I'm interested, so if a relationship is to ever happen between us, then she will have to be the one to let me know.

 

But again, I'm not holding my breath.

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TaraMaiden2

To be specific, her words were:

 

"Aww, I'm flattered! But I made a vow not to date my first year on the job."

 

So it wasn't a direct no, although 99.9% that was basically what it was.

 

You've taken her too literally.

Don't count the days until her first year is over. because you're in for a world of crashing disappointment.

 

Her first year is ending but no worries, I do not plan to go up to her and be like "So, the first year is over now. So, about that date?"

But the fact that you've kept mental tabs on how long she's been there is an indication that you've still got some notion of success...

 

Please understand: It's been a year.

Believe me, as a woman, when I tell you - if she had developed the remotest, slightest interest in getting to know you better, she would have forgotten the 'first year rule' in the bat of an eyelid.

You can't be that controlling over your own emotions.

She's not into you, never has been and won't be.

And the sad thing is that you've hung on for a year (consciously or otherwise) to find that out...

 

Secondly, and most importantly - you do know that the overall advice about dating within the workplace is a big, fat, huge No-No - don't you?!

 

 

If she was serious about that pact and is growing more interested in me, then she will let me know.

It wasn't a pact. It was a - "I'm giving a signal for this guy to back off, because I'm not interested in dating him. At all."

 

How would she have known then that you'd be 'clock-watching'...?

 

I don't have to ask her out again. It would violate boundaries. She knows I'm interested, so if a relationship is to ever happen between us, then she will have to be the one to let me know.

No, she doesn't know you're interested.

her memory may not be that long, and in any case, she's presuming you got the message. She is under the assumption that you're a friendly work colleague, nothing more. She has already let you know - it's not going to happen.

 

But again, I'm not holding my breath.

Sorry but, you could have fooled me....

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Sorry but, you could have fooled me....

 

Wow, apparently I did fool you, because every word I wrote in my last post you acted as if I made that all up and that I'm pinning my hopes on her suddenly asking me out come June (our year ends in June).

 

And BTW I do love how you keep judging me and the situation without knowing all the facts.

 

Not that it makes a huge difference because in the end she in all likelihood doesn't like me that way but still, let's just judge a situation without knowing all the facts and acting like we do.

 

 

And the sad thing is that you've hung on for a year (consciously or otherwise) to find that out...

 

Um, I asked her out in late February 2015. She gave me the first year spiel. The first year for her officially ends June 2015.

 

Again, I'm not expecting her to change her tune. I wrote this thread mostly to get some thoughts off my chest and share and hope for some replies that might resonate with my spirit.

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TaraMaiden2
Wow, apparently I did fool you, because every word I wrote in my last post you acted as if I made that all up and that I'm pinning my hopes on her suddenly asking me out come June (our year ends in June).....Um, I asked her out in late February 2015. She gave me the first year spiel. The first year for her officially ends June 2015.

 

You've kept track! But it's irrelevant how long she has been there, the answer would still be "we're just friends" otherwise she would have made her sentiments known before now....

 

And BTW I do love how you keep judging me and the situation without knowing all the facts.

I most certainly am not judging you; and I am merely responding to everything you have put here.

If you have not included facts, or have withheld them, that's not my fault. Nobody here is psychic. How can we know all the facts if you won't write them...?

 

 

Not that it makes a huge difference because in the end she in all likelihood doesn't like me that way but still, let's just judge a situation without knowing all the facts and acting like we do.

You've included certain information.

I have responded to that information, uniquely.

How is that 'judging'...?

I'm sorry if my comments offend you, but in all likelihood, the problem is that this thread is producing responses you'd rather not hear, so it is understandable that you might take umbrage....

 

Again, I'm not expecting her to change her tune. I wrote this thread mostly to get some thoughts off my chest and share and hope for some replies that might resonate with my spirit.

 

I don't know what that means.... Do you mean, people who would agree with you, see it your way and encourage you to persist?

 

Or people who have a thing for someone else, but the emotions are unrequited....? Seriously, I'm asking....

 

The thing is, it's just mainly been you and me here, and so far the posts number 10, but you've had nearly 200 hits.

 

Now, why do you suppose so many people have looked at the thread, but not responded?

At least I am contributing.

I suspect (although I will admit that I may well be wrong, and that's ok) that people are reading the thread, and finding that, if I am not getting through to you, they probably won't either.

 

I'm just telling you in a nutshell.

She is your friend.

She has always been just your friend.

She will never be anything more, because she has never given you any indication whatsoever, that she intends to move it up a notch.

 

Any hopes on your part will be both surprising to her, and unexpected.

And she will tell you again, that she is just your friend.

 

She will never take the initiative even though she may know how you feel (which I seriously doubt) because she has no desire to.

 

 

I'm sorry, truly I am, that you feel offended, but there it is, blunt and to the point.

 

This is from her angle, platonic.

From your angle, a no-hoper.

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Seems like you are pretty hopeful. I think you are right to back off for your own sake.l i would just stop contacting her all together aside from at work. If you were fine with being just friends you wouldn't be writing about it here.

 

It sounds like she made it pretty clear that you are just friends.

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Anything other than a yes AND actually acting on it, is a firm NO.

 

If I was you, I'd not limit yourself to hitting on your co workers.

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I most certainly am not judging you; and I am merely responding to everything you have put here.

If you have not included facts, or have withheld them, that's not my fault. Nobody here is psychic. How can we know all the facts if you won't write them...?

 

Then please don't respond as if you DO know all the facts.

 

When you don't have all the facts, you should not assume that you do. You said not long ago that I have been pinning my hopes on her for a whole year (as in 365 days) trying to paint the situation as really desperate. When in fact it has been far closer to 4 months which isn't nearly as bad as a year.

 

I understand you have your viewpoint, and that's fine, but the way you just assume facts (she said "No, I just see you as a friend" and the one year thing) is a bit rude, and I don't appreciate it. Of course I withheld some facts. Writing the whole thing would take too long and quite frankly it ain't worth spelling out every little detail. I just wanted to get this off my chest and post just enough details. Besides, who wants to be obsessed with this stuff? I have moved on quite a bit since her friendly-phrased rejection, and am in the process of moving on 100% completely. Just wanted to post this as part of the getting it all off my chest process.

 

No need to keep telling me that I am still head over heels for her when I am not. But apparently, you are a mind reader too. Oh wait, you said you are not. So please don't act like you know what I'm thinking.

 

It's fine to give someone your 2 cents, but when you get facts wrong or assume things wrongly, it just makes it not as effective.

 

 

Nobody here is psychic. How can we know all the facts if you won't write them...?

 

Again, I'm not going to write every little detail. Just wanted a quick vent. I know the situation is dead in the water. I have been through this before. I also feel we have transitioned to being friends pretty well given the circumstances and I feel yes, I can be fine with her as just a friend going forward.

 

But believe what you want to believe.

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Teknoe, you really need to try and stop the wishing/hoping, and genuinely move on from this girl. :( I mean, you can 'try to transition her to a friend' all you like, but you can't fight strong attraction - at least, not the kind that has grown and developed over months. And at the end of the day I think it's going to take less/limited contact for you to get over her, because for as long as you remain in such frequent contact, no matter how you try to tell yourself she's just a friend, there's going to be a secret little hope there that never dies.

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TaraMaiden2
Then please don't respond as if you DO know all the facts.

 

When you don't have all the facts, you should not assume that you do. You said not long ago that I have been pinning my hopes on her for a whole year (as in 365 days) trying to paint the situation as really desperate. When in fact it has been far closer to 4 months which isn't nearly as bad as a year.

 

You didn't reveal that fact at the time... so in fact, you weren't entirely 'specific'...

 

To be specific, her words were:

 

"Aww, I'm flattered! But I made a vow not to date my first year on the job."

 

So it wasn't a direct no, although 99.9% that was basically what it was.

 

Her first year is ending but no worries, I do not plan to go up to her and be like "So, the first year is over now. So, about that date?"

 

I understand you have your viewpoint, and that's fine, but the way you just assume facts (she said "No, I just see you as a friend" and the one year thing) is a bit rude, and I don't appreciate it.

 

Well one was a mistaken assumption on the lack of information given, the other is a paraphrase of what she actually means.

And what she means is that as far as she is concerned, this is a friendship and it's as far as it goes....

 

Of course I withheld some facts. Writing the whole thing would take too long and quite frankly it ain't worth spelling out every little detail.

Yes, I understand that... it's a bit like trickle-truth'... you only begin to get any salient facts when you begin probing, but it's piecemeal.... :D

 

I just wanted to get this off my chest and post just enough details. Besides, who wants to be obsessed with this stuff? I have moved on quite a bit since her friendly-phrased rejection, and am in the process of moving on 100% completely. Just wanted to post this as part of the getting it all off my chest process.

Well, you will note now, that others have added their 'voice' to mine.... and their opinions, though admittedly far more succinct, do not differ... :)

 

No need to keep telling me that I am still head over heels for her when I am not. But apparently, you are a mind reader too. Oh wait, you said you are not. So please don't act like you know what I'm thinking.

 

I guess smiley1 ("If you were fine with being just friends you wouldn't be writing about it here.") and Elswyth ("Teknoe, you really need to try and stop the wishing/hoping, and genuinely move on from this girl. ....you can't fight strong attraction - at least, not the kind that has grown and developed over months. ....as long as you remain in such frequent contact, no matter how you try to tell yourself she's just a friend, there's going to be a secret little hope there that never dies") are mind-readers too, huh?

Like I said, we're all really more or less trying to convey the same thing....

 

It's fine to give someone your 2 cents, but when you get facts wrong or assume things wrongly, it just makes it not as effective

But I haven't assumed anything incorrectly, other than the 'it's been a year' thing.... Everything I have posted has been in direct response to a comment of yours... which i have taken at face value to be true...

 

Again, I'm not going to write every little detail. Just wanted a quick vent. I know the situation is dead in the water. I have been through this before. I also feel we have transitioned to being friends pretty well given the circumstances and I feel yes, I can be fine with her as just a friend going forward.

 

But believe what you want to believe.

 

All I believe is that you should abandon all and any hope of taking this any further.

That is the whole and total nub of this entire discussion, in one sentence.

 

Ok, I'm out, I really don't want to rub you up the wrong way any more, and i'm sorry if that's the impression you've gained.

If you'd like me to not contribute further, do NOT reply, and I'll abandon this thread.

 

Thanks for everything so far! :)

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calvincline47

OP, here's my take on the situation:

 

I disagree with the advice given here. Contrary to popular belief, men and women are not the same. We are wired very differently. Men have a far greater chance of growing on a woman than visa versa.

 

I do believe that you can get just about any girl you want if you really want that girl.

 

In any event, you have to think long and hard about how much you really want this girl and the reasons that you want her. If you legitimately think that this is the girl for you, you will have to take some risks here.

 

Here's an example: When I was in college, I developed a huge crush on a girl that I was doing a research project with. I asked her out and she turned me down. I tried staying friends with her, but, ultimately, I poured my heart out to her. I still remember it. We were sitting in her car and I told her everything. I actually even started crying (lol). I told her that I couldn't just be friends with her because I liked her so much.

 

We didn't talk for a few months. Then, she randomly started texting me. We started hanging out and basically became FWB. I'd lost feelings for her at that point (because so much time had passed). Then, she started developing serious feelings for me, but I did not reciprocate.

 

My point is that just because a girl initially rejects you does not mean that it is forever a "no" that is set in stone. In fact, it rarely is.

 

So, if you really like her, then go for it. Be persistent and don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. You'll likely get her in the end if you really want her.

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I do believe that you can get just about any girl you want if you really want that girl.

 

So, if you really like her, then go for it. Be persistent and don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. You'll likely get her in the end if you really want her.

 

Advice like this is part of the reason why women tend to be wary of men who have professed interest in them, if they don't feel the same way back.

 

Do people sometimes 'grow on' other people? Sure. But after over a year, the chances are extremely small - if he were to 'grow on her' it would have already happened. Can you get 'just about any girl you want' by sheer persistence? No, that's called being a stalker, is creepy, and is likely to end up very miserably and badly. For both you and her.

 

The 'guy who just won't give up' because he believes in your mantra is incredibly, incredibly annoying to the woman, AND is doing himself a huge injustice as well.

 

(I'm not saying Teknoe is any of the above, just that what you are suggesting to him is.)

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calvincline47
Advice like this is part of the reason why women tend to be wary of men who have professed interest in them, if they don't feel the same way back.

 

Do people sometimes 'grow on' other people? Sure. But after over a year, the chances are extremely small - if he were to 'grow on her' it would have already happened. Can you get 'just about any girl you want' by sheer persistence? No, that's called being a stalker, is creepy, and is likely to end up very miserably and badly. For both you and her.

 

The 'guy who just won't give up' because he believes in your mantra is incredibly, incredibly annoying to the woman, AND is doing himself a huge injustice as well.

 

(I'm not saying Teknoe is any of the above, just that what you are suggesting to him is.)

 

Did you read my example? Obviously, stalking doesn't work. But that's not what I'm encouraging.

 

I'm encouraging OP to be bold and take risks. Risk losing the girl (even as a friend) and risk making a fool of himself.

 

Either way, staying in the friendzone and pretending to be friends with a girl in hopes that she'll like him certainly doesn't work (and hasn't worked for OP).

 

Also, I certainly wouldn't classify annoying a girl to be a "huge injustice".

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OP, here's my take on the situation:

 

I disagree with the advice given here. Contrary to popular belief, men and women are not the same. We are wired very differently. Men have a far greater chance of growing on a woman than visa versa.

 

I do believe that you can get just about any girl you want if you really want that girl.

 

In any event, you have to think long and hard about how much you really want this girl and the reasons that you want her. If you legitimately think that this is the girl for you, you will have to take some risks here.

 

Here's an example: When I was in college, I developed a huge crush on a girl that I was doing a research project with. I asked her out and she turned me down. I tried staying friends with her, but, ultimately, I poured my heart out to her. I still remember it. We were sitting in her car and I told her everything. I actually even started crying (lol). I told her that I couldn't just be friends with her because I liked her so much.

 

We didn't talk for a few months. Then, she randomly started texting me. We started hanging out and basically became FWB. I'd lost feelings for her at that point (because so much time had passed). Then, she started developing serious feelings for me, but I did not reciprocate.

 

My point is that just because a girl initially rejects you does not mean that it is forever a "no" that is set in stone. In fact, it rarely is.

 

So, if you really like her, then go for it. Be persistent and don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. You'll likely get her in the end if you really want her.

 

 

Thanks. Nice story. Are you still with her to this day? I'm guessing no, but I had to ask, anyway :)

 

I agree that women can have a change of heart over time. Again, I'm not banking on it, but I'm not saying it's impossible either based on the fact that we talk and text quite a bit, and it's usually very fun light-hearted and one upmanship type banter. Coworkers have even asked me if there's something going on between us, because they sense the chemistry. We're friends, but we act and talk and treat each other like we might be more, and no one knows for sure except those in the know.

 

I think it's too easy on LS to say definitively that a certain situation will play out this or that way because no one can see the body language. However, I do think we will remain friends, and probably just that.

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calvincline47
Thanks. Nice story. Are you still with her to this day? I'm guessing no, but I had to ask, anyway :)

 

No. This was years ago. But it was ultimately my decision not to go further with it (not hers).

 

Interestingly, I had a similar situation last year with a different girl, but that didn't work out for different reasons.

 

In general though, I'm a decent looking guy, but I only rarely attract women initially. I find that most women develop an interest in me over time.

 

So pretty much all of the advice given here (besides my own) directly contradicts with my own experiences.

 

I agree that women can have a change of heart over time. Again, I'm not banking on it, but I'm not saying it's impossible either based on the fact that we talk and text quite a bit, and it's usually very fun light-hearted and one upmanship type banter. Coworkers have even asked me if there's something going on between us, because they sense the chemistry. We're friends, but we act and talk and treat each other like we might be more, and no one knows for sure except those in the know.

 

She's not going to just develop an interest in you out of nowhere at this point. You'll have to risk the friendship to get what you want.

 

Totally worth it, in my opinion, but it's ultimately up to you.

 

Also, you have to consider your job as well. If things go downhill, will you be able to leave this job and get a new one easily? In my field, I would easily be able to do this. So if I was in your situation and REALLY liked the girl, I would go all in and let the chips fall where they may.

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With single male and female friendships or working relationships there is always the elephant in the room, is there sexual attraction? Is it one sided? Is it mutual?

 

Here, there was one sided sexual attraction and the situation was resolved, by Teknoe asking her out and she saying no.

Both sides know where they stand.

She made it clear at the beginning, she didn't want to go out with Teknoe, so in her eyes, he made the transition, from sexual being, into an asexual friend.

 

In her mind the attraction issue is no longer hanging over them and she can then be friends with Teknoe freely, ie they can talk, laugh, joke, text, get close - she knows that her actions will not be misconstrued as she made it clear to Teknoe - he is JUST a friend.

 

BUT...

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I am not saying this will never work, but once a man is rejected as a potential bf, and consigned to the friend zone, she may be angry, shocked, upset and disappointed if he suddenly announces he had the hots for her all along and he had never accepted that she wasn't interested in him in that way.

 

All those supposedly platonic talks, laughs, heart to hearts and friendly hugs they had as "friends" can be tarnished in her eyes, and it can make him look sneaky and creepy.

Pretending to be her friend, to get into her knickers...

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I am not saying this will never work, but once a man is rejected as a potential bf, and consigned to the friend zone, she may be angry, shocked, upset and disappointed if he suddenly announces he had the hots for her all along and he had never accepted that she wasn't interested in him in that way.

 

All those supposedly platonic talks, laughs, heart to hearts and friendly hugs they had as "friends" can be tarnished in her eyes, and it can make him look sneaky and creepy.

Pretending to be her friend, to get into her knickers...

 

Yes! I can relate to this. Sorry, men can't get any woman they want. I've proven this several times and I am sure millions of women have done the same.

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LookAtThisPOst
Advice like this is part of the reason why women tend to be wary of men who have professed interest in them, if they don't feel the same way back.

 

Do people sometimes 'grow on' other people? Sure. But after over a year, the chances are extremely small - if he were to 'grow on her' it would have already happened. Can you get 'just about any girl you want' by sheer persistence? No, that's called being a stalker, is creepy, and is likely to end up very miserably and badly. For both you and her.

 

Actually, I have known a few women that would tell their side of the "How we met story" of their husband or boyfriend.

 

"How many times you asked me out, honey...before I said yes?"

 

Husband/boyfriend: "Um...probably 5 or 6 times"

 

All the couples gathered around in circle laugh in glee.

 

I knew of another woman that kind of said this when I saw her at a Meetup with a new man...I knew her ex pretty well but she said this guy she's with now asked her out about 4 times as she said No the first 3 times...then he "Talked her into it."

 

So see....hearing it from the woman's perspective...sometimes persistence does pay off. I guess in this case, some women think persistence validates a man's genuineness to HER.

 

Apparently, according to some women, asking a woman out just one time and giving up...means he really was never interested in her in the first place and that further pursuit beyond her blowing the guy off (NOT saying NO to him)...validates his interest and thus will finally go out with him...which can lead to dating and even marriage.

 

Yes...I HAVE heard of this happening...now try to explain THAT away.

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