LookAtThisPOst Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I think there are some people out there that spread themselves thin when it comes to being social and thus may affect their dating. Like they do a lot of event or party "hopping", ie - do 3 or 4 drive-bys to parties in one day. They are like humming birds, and don't really chill and relax in order to develop any real friendships, much less relationships. Anyone run into people like this? Link to post Share on other sites
fardaxel Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 No. I think it's safe to assume that if a person isn't making time for another person, then they probably don't want to spend any extra time with that person. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I think there are some people out there that spread themselves thin when it comes to being social and thus may affect their dating. Like they do a lot of event or party "hopping", ie - do 3 or 4 drive-bys to parties in one day. They are like humming birds, and don't really chill and relax in order to develop any real friendships, much less relationships. Anyone run into people like this? Are you the reincarnation of a guy who used to post in this forum over analyzing women's dating preferences every day? Irc or something? 7 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I think there are some people out there that spread themselves thin when it comes to being social and thus may affect their dating. Like they do a lot of event or party "hopping", ie - do 3 or 4 drive-bys to parties in one day. They are like humming birds, and don't really chill and relax in order to develop any real friendships, much less relationships. Anyone run into people like this? No, can't say I know anyone I'd say is that way. I know social butterflies, but they are good at it, i.e. they can do all that and don't spread themselves thin. Two of my good friends are this way. Outside of social activities, most of my girlfriends and I also have lots of responsibilities in terms of school, organizations we're in, being on different committees etc. and we all have to juggle that with dating. That's life. You prioritize and manage your time, you can't just have a boyfriend/husband, a job and one hobby. I mean I suppose you can, but many people have more than that going on and still are able to manage, so around me I see more models of people who are social butterflies or otherwise have lots going on and still make all of those balls they're juggling work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 No, can't say I know anyone I'd say is that way. I know social butterflies, but they are good at it, i.e. they can do all that and don't spread themselves thin. Two of my good friends are this way. Outside of social activities, most of my girlfriends and I also have lots of responsibilities in terms of school, organizations we're in, being on different committees etc. and we all have to juggle that with dating. That's life. You prioritize and manage your time, you can't just have a boyfriend/husband, a job and one hobby. I mean I suppose you can, but many people have more than that going on and still are able to manage, so around me I see more models of people who are social butterflies or otherwise have lots going on and still make all of those balls they're juggling work. Well, that sometimes bites them in the arse, because let's say if you decide to RSVP or say "Yes" too one too many events...these people tend to "hold out" until something better comes along. They tend to take a "Shot gun" approach at half-heartedly committing to 10 things on one weekend, and still holding out for something better to come along. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Is this thread related to drinks lady from this thread? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/526838-got-phone-without-even-asking Social butterflies tend to be socially butterflying rather then holding out for something better to come along. I know of a few SBs and those I know are always reliable, of those I know three are in long term relationships and one just started seeing someone a few weeks ago. Each of them has a lot of time for people. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I know a couple of social butterflies. One is unreliable as all get out, but she always has people lined up wanting her time. The other has people clamoring for his time and can be kind of abusive about it, like ignore people who are supposed to be his friends trying to look cool or something. Social people have lots of things to do and people to see, and the one I know best has been married now for 30 years. And she's still a social butterfly. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 If you are dating a social butterfly who likes to party hop, just go to the multiple parties with them. If you don't like to party hop, you go where ever & ask the butterfly to make that their last stop. What's the problem? Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Well, that sometimes bites them in the arse, because let's say if you decide to RSVP or say "Yes" too one too many events...these people tend to "hold out" until something better comes along. They tend to take a "Shot gun" approach at half-heartedly committing to 10 things on one weekend, and still holding out for something better to come along. I don't think this is the definition of being a social butterfly. That sounds like something else entirely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted May 7, 2015 Author Share Posted May 7, 2015 Hm, need to decipher what's what. For one, a pet peeve of mine of a social butterfly or one who is always "appearing unavailable" is someone who calls me on the go....they don't wait until they get home and get settled. Recently a woman that was busy with a client said she'll call me back after she gets done with her last client. When she got done, she called me and I heard a lot of background white noise. Turns out she was driving and on her way home and was attempting to have a conversation with me while driving. Yep...one of those "Talks on the cell phone while driving". Anyhow, when she got home, she said "Well, I'm home now and need to feed the pets, so I'll call you later after I get back from my symposium in Mexico." Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 So it's not social butterflies you object to, it's multi-taskers. Simple don't date busy people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Hm, need to decipher what's what. For one, a pet peeve of mine of a social butterfly or one who is always "appearing unavailable" is someone who calls me on the go....they don't wait until they get home and get settled. Recently a woman that was busy with a client said she'll call me back after she gets done with her last client. When she got done, she called me and I heard a lot of background white noise. Turns out she was driving and on her way home and was attempting to have a conversation with me while driving. Yep...one of those "Talks on the cell phone while driving". Anyhow, when she got home, she said "Well, I'm home now and need to feed the pets, so I'll call you later after I get back from my symposium in Mexico." I think you had better be honest and just tell her that you two are not compatible. If this something like this is an issue for you so early on then there will only be other issues. Sounds like she has a work trip coming up so her evening free time will be used up with the usual daily chores, getting ready for the trip and her own essential time for herself before bedtime. If the phone sound was bad you should have mentioned it. Usually the person on the move can sort that out so that you can hear better. However, if your issue here is as you said that she is on the move then that is your deal breaker right there. Sound control won't help with that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted May 7, 2015 Author Share Posted May 7, 2015 I think you had better be honest and just tell her that you two are not compatible. If this something like this is an issue for you so early on then there will only be other issues. Sounds like she has a work trip coming up so her evening free time will be used up with the usual daily chores, getting ready for the trip and her own essential time for herself before bedtime. If the phone sound was bad you should have mentioned it. Usually the person on the move can sort that out so that you can hear better. However, if your issue here is as you said that she is on the move then that is your deal breaker right there. Sound control won't help with that. Well, this was just a first time impression, but if this is something she's in the habit of, then I would have to move on. I have a male friend that's like this, he drives more so than stays stationary when talking to me. He'll be like, "Hey, I'm going into the Burger King, I'll call you back", then he calls me back, 5 mins later, "Hey, I'm going to the bank to the ATM....I'll call you back when I'm on the road." I finally say, "Dude, just wait until you get home, get settled in, and THEN call me." Also, you shouldn't be driving and talking on your phone, it's unsafe. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLongIslander Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 I think there are some people out there that spread themselves thin when it comes to being social and thus may affect their dating. Like they do a lot of event or party "hopping", ie - do 3 or 4 drive-bys to parties in one day. They are like humming birds, and don't really chill and relax in order to develop any real friendships, much less relationships. Anyone run into people like this? It's always fizzed. Then I find someone and she dumps me over not being tough enough during sex. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Are you the reincarnation of a guy who used to post in this forum over analyzing women's dating preferences every day? Irc or something? Is that a yes? Link to post Share on other sites
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