Vegeta2 Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 Sounds bizarre, I know. Just something I've noticed since I moved to the town I currently live in which has the highest density of Arabs outside the middle east Most Arabs here are fresh of the boat or still have a despicable tribal mentality of the middle east. I'll get asked endlessly which region of Lebanon my family is from. I did not know at first the meaning of that question. Then I found out that which region one comes from in the middle east usually means which religious background they hail from( Sunni, Shiite, Arab Christian ). Most Arabs here originate from one section of Lebanon and many are related to one another. I simply don't fit in as I grew up on the east coast( New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania). Despite being one of only a handful of Arabs on the east coast, I rarely had a problem. The irony being is among my own people makes me feel more lonely. I cant read or write Arabic, I speak it so poorly that I get laughed at by my fellow Arabs, which I find very ironic. To make matters worse, I am very irreligious, as I never pray or follow Ramadan. I also support Israel's right to exist, something which caused me major problems. I have very few Arab friends; most of my pals are white or black. I am trying to move out of here before I completely lose my sanity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 I know that feeling. The Czech border is an hour away, and truth be told when we drive over there I immediately relax a little more than when I'm in Germany, but except for the mentality there is little left of Czech culture. I can't speak the language (though I do understand a lot), can't write it, barely even know anything of its history (although I intend to change that soon). Feels like I've been uprooted from my true home sometimes, when it feels even more strange than Germany to me. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 It's going to take a long time for these people to shake off the old school ways. It's the only thing they know. I know a Korean girl I used to work with and when we go someone come in and were Korean and couldn't speak English they would ask her to translate and she would lie and tell them she doesn't know Korean because she was born here. The thing was she did know it but it was her second language and when she spoke it to other Koreans, they gave her a real hard time about it and she said she wouldn't put up with being chewed out in Korean for not speaking it right. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 I have that to some degree in that I left my home country over 20 years ago. I speak my language still every day with my sister but I don't follow the politics of home at all. I don't really care what the latest issues are, it's a small country, many of my generation or older are small minded. Their world is small. So I don't hang out with my own kind except my sister. All my friends are English or Asian or whatever. The world is big, who cares about an irrelevant group of people that you don't have that much in common with anymore OP? You moved on. Keep on moving. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nerd Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 I've read articles saying that even when a 2nd-generation (parents were the ones who immigrated, they were born in the new country) person speaks the language perfectly, if they go back to their 'home' country, their mannerisms and way of walking and other body language are so different from the real natives that they are immediately branded an outsider. If 2nd-gen is physically different from their parents' adopted country, they are truly without a home - physically different from those who live around them, culturally different from their parents' home country. I suppose in a few generations, at least in some places, there will be enough intermixing it won't be an issue anymore. But that isn't the case yet where I am. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 I have very few Arab friends; most of my pals are white or black. I am trying to move out of here before I completely lose my sanity. Yes, you need to move out and back to where you feel more comfortable. No point in labelling yourself an "Arab" if you actually have very little in common with "Arabs" in general. As there is a continual influx of those with a traditional/tribal agenda I do not see the level of integration that you would need to feel comfortable happening any time soon where you now live; not even in your entire life time I predict. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I've read articles saying that even when a 2nd-generation (parents were the ones who immigrated, they were born in the new country) person speaks the language perfectly, if they go back to their 'home' country, their mannerisms and way of walking and other body language are so different from the real natives that they are immediately branded an outsider. If 2nd-gen is physically different from their parents' adopted country, they are truly without a home - physically different from those who live around them, culturally different from their parents' home country. I suppose in a few generations, at least in some places, there will be enough intermixing it won't be an issue anymore. But that isn't the case yet where I am. I know a couple of second generation Pakistanis, one of them goes to Pakistan frequently and married a Pakistani girl, he speaks the language perfectly etc and gets on with people but yes it's obvious to me even how different he is. He does everything you can imagine to adapt the culture as really he is British which looks slightly strange from the outside. My ex is Kenyan Indian, he doesn't really go back to Kenya much anymore because all his family have left but he isn't Indian as such, India is where his parents live because his father is from there. He loves the food, etc but he is an outsider there. I've seen him with the others, he doesn't tend to like them all that much as he is more African. I think that bothers him a little. I quite like the outsider role, many of my friends are like this or are Brits. Get on both the 'locals' in London and strangers like me. London is a great melting pot, they take you as you are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 While it's nice to find a community like that, if you have already assimilated into culture someplace, you don't want to go back where you just came from. If there are that many people there, I have to believe some more exist somewhere who aren't hooked into that community and are more like you. Put out feelers on things like online dating for that city or meetup groups and be clear on the profile you are not very traditional. If you make friends within that group, at some point be honest with them and just ask them if they know anyone who isn't traditional. I wonder if someplace like California might be a good place for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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