DerGiLLster Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Okay, so I am a pretty socially awkward person. I don't ever know how to talk to a girl. I mean I have occasional successes with certain girls, but these are rare, and they are quick to realize that I am a bore to them. Every time I am near an attractive girl, I wish to talk to here. The fear of me boring her, by her simply saying "yeah" or "that's cool", along with her looking in the other direction, giving the impression that she is uninterested is what keeps me at bay. So my question is, how can I keep a girl interested. I can never do any better than the occasional joke, or talk to her for more than two minutes. I want to be the guy that can make her laugh, and will be able to brighten her day. Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Your heart's in the right place, but the art of conversation isn't learned overnight. Start by being engaging with friends, especially female ones. Ask about things they are interested in. Listen. Don't tell jokes. Make a few comments here or there about what they are saying. Funny comments on topic, not jokes. Don't act interested in what she's saying... BE INTERESTED in what she's saying. Man, I know the difference between a foundation and a primer. No man should know that, but I listen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DerGiLLster Posted April 28, 2015 Author Share Posted April 28, 2015 Don't act interested in what she's saying... BE INTERESTED in what she's saying. Man, I know the difference between a foundation and a primer. No man should know that, but I listen. Well, then what? I have asked girls before what their interests are, but I don't know what to say back. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 How do you act around your friends & family? Can you make conversation with them? Try using some of those same techniques when you talk to women. One key piece is active listening. Ask Qs. Focus on the answers. From the replies, after she has finished speaking use something she said to ask the next Q or make the next comment. Also understand everybody is nervous. They are also more focused on what they are saying or wondering if they sound like awkward geeks to really critique your behavior. So give yourself a break. You are probably not as awkward as you think you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DerGiLLster Posted April 28, 2015 Author Share Posted April 28, 2015 How do you act around your friends & family? Can you make conversation with them? Try using some of those same techniques when you talk to women. I dislike my family as they treat me as the black sheep of the group. My friends are a better story. Though I can form conversations with them, I do sometimes have problems thinking of what to say. I wish to be out more, but my mom never lets me out on the weekdays and on the weekends, I have so much homework that when I am finally finished with it all, I feel too tired and just watch TV. Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Learn to listen. If you gain her affection & trust, she'll probably talk your ear off. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Don't be afraid of the cliches: How was your day? Did you see the game last night? What's your major? Also think up a couple of unusual questions that aren't too personal that you can sprinkle into a conversation if there is a lull. One of my favorites used to be to ask people hwo they feel about roller coasters. Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Find a shared interest & talk about that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 (edited) Well, then what? I have asked girls before what their interests are, but I don't know what to say back. You don't say anything canned back. And you don't ask, "what are your interests?" You ask, "So what did you do today?" "Did you do anything fun this weekend?" You ask them about their recent experiences without sounding stuffy. You comment on funny/stupid things you both experience on the date, like a waiter spilling something on the table. You laugh at that. You people watch together, commenting to each other on that. You sit on the same side of the table if at all possible. You respond to her not with a plan or trying and thinking what to say, you listen, you say what comes naturally, or ask a deeper question about part of her weekend. You highlight things you have oin common... "You went to see Adventure Club this weekend?!? Wow! I love Adventure Club. Who else do you like? " It's an organic process, not something to think about rationally. It's an art, not a science. Edited April 28, 2015 by loveweary11 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fardaxel Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 To hold someone's interest, you have to be interesting. To be interesting, you live a life with varied experiences and have a passionate and adventurous spirit. Try every hobby once. Learn new things and broaden your horizons. Link to post Share on other sites
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