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This situation is by no means unique but I cant seem to find a solution. In short in two weeks I will be 31yo, never had a gf, never been kissed etc. I am starting to feel increasingly hopeless and worthless, everyone around me seems to be moving on and I cant seem to move forward.

 

 

I am tall, slim, blue eyes, fair muscle tone thanks to running, swimming and the usual sit up push up routine.

 

 

In as far as character is concerned I am the quiet reserved type of guy, the type who opens doors for ladies, in other words I value manners. I am honest but not brutally so, I can take an interest in people, buying dinners and things like that hasn't bothered me, nor has driving to meet people at places convenient for the. In short I think I am generous and considerate.

 

 

The problem is I simply VERY rarely meet anyone I just jell with, I don't do the club/bar scene but for the last 6 or so years I have done OLD, about 5 different sites and again never really met anyone who I jelled with and who really liked me.

 

 

Work wise I am fairly happy and I enjoy a challenge which is what I have seen dating as: a challenge but I am just not reaping any sort of reward from it. I have tried meeting people I don't really find attractive in the hope they appear more attractive in person.

 

 

The common suggestion is to join a club and do activities but I did try that but mostly once again found I didn't jell with the people at all, the party club culture runs deep and if you don't conform to that unfortunately one is frowned upon, at least where I live one is.

 

 

Its true to say I am not a hugely warm guy, not hugely emotive but I always try be kind and considerate, perhaps its not enough to overcome not being warm.

 

 

If you were me what would you do, as mentioned before I did meet someone I really jelled with but sadly she isn't into me at all, not even the slightest bit.

 

 

Friends wise, not too many of those because again my interests are not the run of the mill type of interests.

 

 

With each passing year I am just feeling more and more hopeless about my prospects of ever finding someone I like who likes me. I try and keep myself busy with work and other projects but there is only so much one can do and the hurt is still there.

 

 

Things I need to work on I know are confidence, VERY hard when all experienced ended in disappointment, maybe get new clothes but I did try that already, try to enjoy clubs. At the moment I am just feeling incredibly empty and at a total loss as to what more I can do. I really crave that magic date like I had last year where it all just seemed to come together perfectly (clearly not for her as she isn't interested in me) but just seems SO difficult.

 

 

I realise this all seems terribly self pity like but its just a reflection of where I am at the moment, there really are NO prospects for me either on OLD or otherwise at the moment, I did hope to try get things to work with lady from last year but that seems impossible.

 

 

Should I just simply give up on this because I cant believe that its normal to get rejected all the time, ones sense of self worth does take a serious knock.

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La.Primavera

The problem is a mixture of circumstance (lack of opportunities) and your own passive attitude towards it. What I mean by that is that you choose to live this way because if you really wanted things to be different, you would do it.

 

Perhaps you are afraid of what a relationship will require, trusting someone, thinking about another person’s needs, intimacy, being in love, commitment, possible rejection etc..

 

On the other hand you might not be that inclined to do it, but the fear of what your family, friends, and society expects of you make you feel obligated to pursue a relationship to be considered “normal”.

 

If neither of those applies then you need to make a decision. What are you prepared to do to get what you want? If it is something you really want to experience then you need to take drastic action. That means you need to identify where the problem lies. Is it something to do with you, appearance, personality, or issues you can deal with yourself or with some help?

 

Could it have something to so with where you live? Not enough single women in town or with similar values and interests like religion, sports, art, music, etc. If that is the case you might need to move somewhere where there are those kinds of women. Online research and forums can help establish that sort of thing. There are communities of people with many different interests, some congregate in specific cities. No harm in looking into it.

 

Another option you could consider is a change of career to meet new people. Travel and explore new places with travel groups. Join a club you like, volunteer is a good place to meet nice people. Go to university, you can meet heaps of new people there while learning more about yourself and about the world. You may have noticed that none of my suggestions involve clubbing or a bar because the reality is not every single woman under 35 wants to hang out there either.

 

I wasn't kidding when I said drastic action. If it is what you really want you have to go way out of your comfort zone, further than you have ever been! It will be challenging but extremely rewarding.

 

I just want to know that although it feels like there are no prospects for you, there are. You just need to decide what you really want and what you are prepared to do to get it. If you decide it is easier or more enjoyable to be unattached that is ok too.

 

Don’t give up on what you really want.

 

All the best.

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Thanks for the feedback, I have already got my degree which I obtained learning correspondence, thus haven't been to university. Am out in the working world as mentioned and there are lot of females here but they all seem to conform to one set template.

 

 

Club, drink, club drink, talk about friends hook-ups, who is doing who, who drank so much, who went on an expensive holiday, which bf as more money. None of that interests me at all, not even slightly. For me that's just arcane boring conversation which is totally meaningless.

 

 

I seek out people who don't conform to the above, which is difficult because one of two things usually happen: they aren't single and if by some miracle they are they aren't into me.

 

 

Honestly this whole thing feels like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, with each passing year it gets worse and worse, more so when I need to go to dances and dinners and that sort of thing, go alone once is fine but go alone continuously and people start to look at you strangely.

 

 

I have tried the club thing but I am too introverted to do anything there, my selling point is intellect and I cant make that work in that environment. Nor apparently can I find anyone appealing on OLD.

 

 

Giving up is not something I do but really just feels like I just keep getting beaten down, I really tried with the last one but apparently I was so so unappealing she wasn't even prepared to give me a chance.

 

 

The by product of this beating down is I find myself getting ever more bitter and ever more cynical.

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Learn to be happy on your own.

Develop confidence and contentment. Be the kind of guy who is quite comfortable with his own company; do not hang any future happiness on an as-yet unseen other: Your happiness is not dependent on finding another half.

 

You need to focus on being 'whole' on your own.

That - will attract women.

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Clarence_Boddicker

What's your social status? I'm assuming you're white. Are you only interested in dating within your race?

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What's your social status? I'm assuming you're white. Are you only interested in dating within your race?

 

Not interested in dating outside my race.

 

 

FYI: I am white.

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Learn to be happy on your own.

Develop confidence and contentment. Be the kind of guy who is quite comfortable with his own company; do not hang any future happiness on an as-yet unseen other: Your happiness is not dependent on finding another half.

 

You need to focus on being 'whole' on your own.

That - will attract women.

 

Well the problem with that is after meeting someone fantastic and seeing her twice and being completely dazzled I want more of that!

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GirlStillStrong

Do you know your own type? Like Meyers Briggs or something like that? It might help to know more about yourself. What do you mean you just don't jell with people? Do you just not like the people you find yourself surrounded by? Do they irritate you? Are you an introvert? Sounds like you are like me; don't have a tribe.

 

I have tried to find my own tribe but most people want to talk about things that are banal to me. They want to talk about TV shows, sports, movie stars, clothing, gossip, etc. That kind of thing just does nothing for me and I find myself surrounded by people but alone. I try to strike up conversation but hearing people talk about themselves and what they did last weekend just is not deep enough for me. I am probably pretty boring and people probably think I'm a dud. I like intellectual conversation, and don't feel comfortable with the usual conversation; it feels like people just competing to get themselves heard.

 

I think the best solution I have heard is to find what interests you and do those things. In that way, you meet like-minded people. I'm not good at that myself because I don't have many interests; I prefer home kinds of things like gardening. I don't like having a lot of people in my life because they complicate things, stir up drama, bring problems in my life I don't want. I'd prefer to just be part of a couple that has common interests and does everything together but that doesn't seem to work for me either.

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You are not the best and you're not the worst. You're good enough.

 

The land of the 'good enough' is a wonderful place, and everything you want is there to be found.

 

Be bold, and reach strongly and consistently for what you want.

 

Fortune favours the brave.

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You are not the best and you're not the worst. You're good enough.

 

The land of the 'good enough' is a wonderful place, and everything you want is there to be found.

 

Be bold, and reach strongly and consistently for what you want.

 

Fortune favours the brave.

 

I wish I could say that is true but my confidence is truly shot from so many rejections, for the most part I just muddle through each day, do the maximum I can do at work and try to not think about what a complete and utter failure I am at dating. Problem is you can only blot this out for so long and when it comes back it hits you like a stone.

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Do you know your own type? Like Meyers Briggs or something like that? It might help to know more about yourself. What do you mean you just don't jell with people? Do you just not like the people you find yourself surrounded by? Do they irritate you? Are you an introvert? Sounds like you are like me; don't have a tribe.

 

I have tried to find my own tribe but most people want to talk about things that are banal to me. They want to talk about TV shows, sports, movie stars, clothing, gossip, etc. That kind of thing just does nothing for me and I find myself surrounded by people but alone. I try to strike up conversation but hearing people talk about themselves and what they did last weekend just is not deep enough for me. I am probably pretty boring and people probably think I'm a dud. I like intellectual conversation, and don't feel comfortable with the usual conversation; it feels like people just competing to get themselves heard.

 

I think the best solution I have heard is to find what interests you and do those things. In that way, you meet like-minded people. I'm not good at that myself because I don't have many interests; I prefer home kinds of things like gardening. I don't like having a lot of people in my life because they complicate things, stir up drama, bring problems in my life I don't want. I'd prefer to just be part of a couple that has common interests and does everything together but that doesn't seem to work for me either.

 

The things I like don't really attract females, I am not that outgoing type at all, I however can be when around the right people and I guess that's one of the reasons I liked this last one so much I could be myself and she brought me out more than others. In addition the conversation wasn't banal but actually interesting.

 

 

Tonight I have the choice, go out and eat dinner on my own, go out and eat dinner on my own and maybe go to a club afterwards or simply eat and stay home.

 

 

If I am honest the last suggestion sounds the most appealing, simply because when I go out I am confronted by everything I cant get and I just end up feeling more hopeless and more empty.

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First I just want to compliment you that although you say you have a lack of confidence, that you are nonetheless putting yourself out there and keep picking yourself up and keep trying to date and meet people. I know it must be hard to keep trying, but that is what life is all about and the measure of a man (or a woman) is more about if they find the inner strength to keep putting one foot ahead of the other than just if things come easy to you. Someday someone will appreciate that strength and determination in you.

 

You say your interests don't lend themselves to meeting women. So I'd suggest you take up a new interest that does. I have no idea what type interests you like, but for instance, take a cooking class or a music class or an art class (it can be unaccredited), or if you have some skills or interest in something, use those to do volunteer work just a couple of hours a week, whether that be at the zoo or at a homeless shelter or helping dress underprivileged young men for their prom (my friend does this and loves it), or being someone's technical backup at a nonprofit.

 

And your idea about new clothes, let me expand on that, because I do think it's now more important than ever with OLD. Here's what I recommend to be sure you're not relying on your own taste because we tend to get stuck in a rut.

 

First, go to a good barber stylist. Not necessarily the corner barber. Someone who really styles hair. I don't advise you go to your normal barber because he will just do the same thing and you need out of your rut. So let your hair grow a little first before you go so there's more styling options. Pay a little more than you're used to and go to a styling salon for both men and women. Call and ask them if they have someone who is really good with men's hair and use that person. Or if a friend of yours always has great hair, ask who they use. Tell them you want to "update" your look. If there is a celebrity whose hair you love that the texture and thickness isn't too different than your own, bring them a photo or tell them that. Get a modern haircut.

 

Clothes next:

Go to a slightly upscale large department store like Macy's or Dillard's or H&M. Go the men's clothing and speak to them about having someone help you put together a couple of complete outfits, one dressy and one dress casual. Now, they may have you come back at a later time to see a certain person, if they feel someone is more qualified than others. You might even want to just call that department first and ask who would be the best person to ask for and then go in when that person is there.

 

Once you have the person helping you, tell him your work and interests. Tell him if there is any particular style you like (sporty, professional, high fashion GQ, etc.) Then ask him if that is something he thinks would work on you and ask what he envisions to bring you up a couple of style levels. Give him your budget and then agree to try on lots of things before deciding on anything and also resign yourself that some tailoring adjustments are always needed to look your best, hemming, taking in at the waist, etc. You may have to go to a tailor at a cleaners for those, but be sure you have a clear idea from the helpful dresser what it needs.

 

Being well groomed and looking really put together and not just "adequate" can be a real asset when dating and also when pursuing many careers. So don't be afraid to strive toward a better image of yourself. Make yourself the best self you can be in every way, and then you have done all you can do. And I know being well groomed will give your confidence a boost. Take new photos showing the put-together you and take the old photos down. And then dress up and get out there and meet people.

 

Good luck!

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JuneJulySeptember
First I just want to compliment you that although you say you have a lack of confidence, that you are nonetheless putting yourself out there and keep picking yourself up and keep trying to date and meet people. I know it must be hard to keep trying, but that is what life is all about and the measure of a man (or a woman) is more about if they find the inner strength to keep putting one foot ahead of the other than just if things come easy to you. Someday someone will appreciate that strength and determination in you.

 

You say your interests don't lend themselves to meeting women. So I'd suggest you take up a new interest that does. I have no idea what type interests you like, but for instance, take a cooking class or a music class or an art class (it can be unaccredited), or if you have some skills or interest in something, use those to do volunteer work just a couple of hours a week, whether that be at the zoo or at a homeless shelter or helping dress underprivileged young men for their prom (my friend does this and loves it), or being someone's technical backup at a nonprofit.

 

And your idea about new clothes, let me expand on that, because I do think it's now more important than ever with OLD. Here's what I recommend to be sure you're not relying on your own taste because we tend to get stuck in a rut.

 

First, go to a good barber stylist. Not necessarily the corner barber. Someone who really styles hair. I don't advise you go to your normal barber because he will just do the same thing and you need out of your rut. So let your hair grow a little first before you go so there's more styling options. Pay a little more than you're used to and go to a styling salon for both men and women. Call and ask them if they have someone who is really good with men's hair and use that person. Or if a friend of yours always has great hair, ask who they use. Tell them you want to "update" your look. If there is a celebrity whose hair you love that the texture and thickness isn't too different than your own, bring them a photo or tell them that. Get a modern haircut.

 

Clothes next:

Go to a slightly upscale large department store like Macy's or Dillard's or H&M. Go the men's clothing and speak to them about having someone help you put together a couple of complete outfits, one dressy and one dress casual. Now, they may have you come back at a later time to see a certain person, if they feel someone is more qualified than others. You might even want to just call that department first and ask who would be the best person to ask for and then go in when that person is there.

 

Once you have the person helping you, tell him your work and interests. Tell him if there is any particular style you like (sporty, professional, high fashion GQ, etc.) Then ask him if that is something he thinks would work on you and ask what he envisions to bring you up a couple of style levels. Give him your budget and then agree to try on lots of things before deciding on anything and also resign yourself that some tailoring adjustments are always needed to look your best, hemming, taking in at the waist, etc. You may have to go to a tailor at a cleaners for those, but be sure you have a clear idea from the helpful dresser what it needs.

 

Being well groomed and looking really put together and not just "adequate" can be a real asset when dating and also when pursuing many careers. So don't be afraid to strive toward a better image of yourself. Make yourself the best self you can be in every way, and then you have done all you can do. And I know being well groomed will give your confidence a boost. Take new photos showing the put-together you and take the old photos down. And then dress up and get out there and meet people.

 

Good luck!

 

I really don't think telling a 31 year old virgin to improve his hairstyle and add some Diesel and Armani Exchange to his wardrobe in order to get women is the way to go.

 

The type of women who are going to accept him when he changes when they previously would have rejected him are not going to touch a 31 year old virgin with a 10 foot pole anyway.

 

My advice is when you get to that age and you are still a virgin, you need to start targeting the women who are more forgiving. And not just the women who are more forgiving, but people in general in life who are more forgiving to surround yourself with. You're off the path of the 'ideal guy' already. Play into it and embrace it and find an appropriate gal.

 

Unless you're the 31 year old guy who wants the hottest girl, highest salary, most expensive car, and pad, but is also a virgin. Then, you have a problem.

Edited by JuneJulySeptember
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My advice to all older virgin males is never to disclose that you are a virgin. No one needs to know that. They may need to know if there's some specific belief system in place as to why, but otherwise, no.

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I really don't think telling a 31 year old virgin to improve his hairstyle and add some Diesel and Armani Exchange to his wardrobe in order to get women is the way to go.

 

The type of women who are going to accept him when he changes when they previously would have rejected him are not going to touch a 31 year old virgin with a 10 foot pole anyway.

 

My advice is when you get to that age and you are still a virgin, you need to start targeting the women who are more forgiving. And not just the women who are more forgiving, but people in general in life who are more forgiving to surround yourself with. You're off the path of the 'ideal guy' already. Play into it and embrace it and find an appropriate gal.

 

Unless you're the 31 year old guy who wants the hottest girl, highest salary, most expensive car, and pad, but is also a virgin. Then, you have a problem.

 

Women who are more forgiving= obese and desperate. No thanks I will take a pass on those, not interested in them at all. Who even knows what the ideal guy is, wish someone could tell me but it seems its all subjective.

 

Yes, as a human being one strives for the best one can get and I am not going to settle for something I don't want. If all I can get is dense and obese then I don't want it.

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JuneJulySeptember
Women who are more forgiving= obese and desperate. No thanks I will take a pass on those, not interested in them at all. Who even knows what the ideal guy is, wish someone could tell me but it seems its all subjective.

 

Yes, as a human being one strives for the best one can get and I am not going to settle for something I don't want. If all I can get is dense and obese then I don't want it.

 

Well, if that is your attitude then preaph is right.

 

Get $90 haircuts, expensive clothes, as high paying of a job as possible and plunge yourself headfirst into cutthroat competition.

 

BTW, the job of human beings is not to strive for the best one can get. People should try and make this world a better place for one another.

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Well, if that is your attitude then preaph is right.

 

Get $90 haircuts, expensive clothes, as high paying of a job as possible and plunge yourself headfirst into cutthroat competition.

 

BTW, the job of human beings is not to strive for the best one can get. People should try and make this world a better place for one another.

 

I tried the making the world a better place for one another but ultimately all you get is trodden on and walk over, not to mention used. As with many things is life the best decision is one that you can live and doesn't keep you awake at night.

 

 

Fact is everything is a competition, for years I, like you chose to ignore that fact, for me it was, as you say about being a good person, helping people where possible and just going that extra mile but when you find this gets you nowhere but used. When you do meet someone fantastic and well the result is the just same as it always it you perhaps realise there is a lot to be said for having those tangible things.

 

 

Ultimately when people say "I love so and so with my whole heart", no, they simply love what that person has and what the person give them, this I believe to be true 90% of the time, in my opinion the only thing about a person you can truly love is who they are and that is their personality and how that personality makes you feel.

 

 

If you meet that person who speaks directly to your personality and you find that personality attractive, hope that person likes you because being rejected by someone like that will leave a huge scar because looks are much easier to find relatively speaking than an amazing personality.

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JuneJulySeptember

Fact is everything is a competition, for years I, like you chose to ignore that fact, for me it was, as you say about being a good person, helping people where possible and just going that extra mile but when you find this gets you nowhere but used. When you do meet someone fantastic and well the result is the just same as it always it you perhaps realise there is a lot to be said for having those tangible things.

 

Things like getting the hottest girl, most money, or reaching the top your craft doesn't necessarily make us happy. That is why handsome actors, super rich people, and amazingly talented and accomplished musicians/artists commit suicide. None of it goes with you when you die.

 

Another thing is that if you are always striving for the best mate you can get, well then what happens when you find them? You strive for the next best mate who comes along. It will never be good enough. I'm convinced that's why there's so much infidelity. It's a me first attitude.

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Things like getting the hottest girl, most money, or reaching the top your craft doesn't necessarily make us happy. That is why handsome actors, super rich people, and amazingly talented and accomplished musicians/artists commit suicide. None of it goes with you when you die.

 

Another thing is that if you are always striving for the best mate you can get, well then what happens when you find them? You strive for the next best mate who comes along. It will never be good enough. I'm convinced that's why there's so much infidelity. It's a me first attitude.

 

To rephrase a bit, when I look I have a certain set of informal criteria in mind which is heavily biased towards personality as apposed to outright looks. Thus, when I say best its more in reference to how she makes me feel and how I connect with her intellectually.

 

Finding that intellectual and attractive personality is very difficult.

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JuneJulySeptember
To rephrase a bit, when I look I have a certain set of informal criteria in mind which is heavily biased towards personality as apposed to outright looks. Thus, when I say best its more in reference to how she makes me feel and how I connect with her intellectually.

 

Finding that intellectual and attractive personality is very difficult.

 

If people truly picked according to personality and compatibility (not social charisma which is something different), then it wouldn't be competitive. For example, personality is whether you like country, jazz, or rock. Nobody is competing for that because that is truly subjective.

 

I mean, don't get me wrong. The vast majority of people pick partners based on looks and status. That is easily the norm and it's not like anybody who does that is a 'shallow person' per se. But thinking outside the box, especially when you haven't dated at all warrants a possible try.

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If people truly picked according to personality and compatibility (not social charisma which is something different), then it wouldn't be competitive. For example, personality is whether you like country, jazz, or rock. Nobody is competing for that because that is truly subjective.

 

I mean, don't get me wrong. The vast majority of people pick partners based on looks and status. That is easily the norm and it's not like anybody who does that is a 'shallow person' per se. But thinking outside the box, especially when you haven't dated at all warrants a possible try.

 

To be completely honest I do think out of the box but also I realised I have the memory of a great connection, that one time where everything was as good as I dreamt it could be and perhaps that's enough. Sure I never had the physical and doubt I ever will but those two times I spent time with here were for me a high point, it just worked seamlessly and I had something I really wanted and really liked.

 

 

That she isn't into me is perhaps the equally saddest moment but there is nothing I can do, I'd rather keep that memory than try and find something I know wont match up to it.

 

 

Sad but true.

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JuneJulySeptember
To be completely honest I do think out of the box but also I realised I have the memory of a great connection, that one time where everything was as good as I dreamt it could be and perhaps that's enough. Sure I never had the physical and doubt I ever will but those two times I spent time with here were for me a high point, it just worked seamlessly and I had something I really wanted and really liked.

 

 

That she isn't into me is perhaps the equally saddest moment but there is nothing I can do, I'd rather keep that memory than try and find something I know wont match up to it.

 

 

Sad but true.

 

Yea, that happened to me too. I had a great, emotional connection with this woman that we formed over a year and she rejected me. On top of that, the guy she dated before she rejected me was a prototypical impossibly handsome d@uchebag who dumped her after they had sex for several months. No exaggeration, it really went down like that. I mean, it's funny that we complain about these things online, but they really do happen.

 

Anyway, that was some years ago. I'm over it. And it won't happen again. At least not like that. Live and learn bud. :p

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Yea, that happened to me too. I had a great, emotional connection with this woman that we formed over a year and she rejected me. On top of that, the guy she dated before she rejected me was a prototypical impossibly handsome d@uchebag who dumped her after they had sex for several months. No exaggeration, it really went down like that. I mean, it's funny that we complain about these things online, but they really do happen.

 

Anyway, that was some years ago. I'm over it. And it won't happen again. At least not like that. Live and learn bud. :p

 

I tried to date a co worker (stupid I know) and the much the same thing happened, though there wasn't as much an intellectual connection as I had with this last one.

 

Decided I am pretty much done with dating. Had the best experience I could hope for and everything else will be a let down.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217
The problem is a mixture of circumstance (lack of opportunities) and your own passive attitude towards it. What I mean by that is that you choose to live this way because if you really wanted things to be different, you would do it.

 

Perhaps you are afraid of what a relationship will require, trusting someone, thinking about another person’s needs, intimacy, being in love, commitment, possible rejection etc..

 

On the other hand you might not be that inclined to do it, but the fear of what your family, friends, and society expects of you make you feel obligated to pursue a relationship to be considered “normal”.

 

If neither of those applies then you need to make a decision. What are you prepared to do to get what you want? If it is something you really want to experience then you need to take drastic action. That means you need to identify where the problem lies. Is it something to do with you, appearance, personality, or issues you can deal with yourself or with some help?

 

Could it have something to so with where you live? Not enough single women in town or with similar values and interests like religion, sports, art, music, etc. If that is the case you might need to move somewhere where there are those kinds of women. Online research and forums can help establish that sort of thing. There are communities of people with many different interests, some congregate in specific cities. No harm in looking into it.

 

Another option you could consider is a change of career to meet new people. Travel and explore new places with travel groups. Join a club you like, volunteer is a good place to meet nice people. Go to university, you can meet heaps of new people there while learning more about yourself and about the world. You may have noticed that none of my suggestions involve clubbing or a bar because the reality is not every single woman under 35 wants to hang out there either.

 

I wasn't kidding when I said drastic action. If it is what you really want you have to go way out of your comfort zone, further than you have ever been! It will be challenging but extremely rewarding.

 

I just want to know that although it feels like there are no prospects for you, there are. You just need to decide what you really want and what you are prepared to do to get it. If you decide it is easier or more enjoyable to be unattached that is ok too.

 

Don’t give up on what you really want.

 

All the best.

 

Since he's a guy, its his fault for everything, that's what I've observed about reality for a while

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Women who are more forgiving= obese and desperate. No thanks I will take a pass on those, not interested in them at all. Who even knows what the ideal guy is, wish someone could tell me but it seems its all subjective.

 

Yes, as a human being one strives for the best one can get and I am not going to settle for something I don't want. If all I can get is dense and obese then I don't want it.

 

You are all about the personality and intellect, yet you are not willing to date overweight or "desperate" women.

I guess you are a "desperate" man, no dates at 31 is pretty desperate.

I think you should just date everybody and anybody who meets your intellectual standards, and take it from there.

Intellect alone can be pretty sexy and as your preference is not for the Kim Kardashian addicts of this world, then I guess your soulmate may not come in the standard "hot" package.

I guess you are not "cool" either, you are quirky and so you are going to have to delve into quirkier women to find anyone who truly gets you.

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