Should I go after her?

[canadia]

We started writing letters to eachother seven years ago after being acquainted through mutual friends. We have never met, but in two weeks I will be moving temporarily to a town about 20 minutes from her. She is aware of this, however, we have not made any plans to meet and I suspect that she will ignore my invitation to do so. Her willingness to communicate has always been inconsisent which is something I just deal with. What I want to know is, do I have the right to just show up? I mean, regardless of how strange and possibly unhealthy this whole thing is, the fact is that we have kept this thing alive for seven years. Whether or not she talks to me out of boredom or true affection is something I don't really know. At this point, I have no expectations. There are times when I think this needs to end, and the only way to do that is to see her face, if only for a brief time.

[Methodical]

We started writing letters to eachother seven years ago after being acquainted through mutual friends. We have never met, but in two weeks I will be moving temporarily to a town about 20 minutes from her. She is aware of this, however, we have not made any plans to meet and I suspect that she will ignore my invitation to do so. Her willingness to communicate has always been inconsisent which is something I just deal with. What I want to know is, do I have the right to just show up? I mean, regardless of how strange and possibly unhealthy this whole thing is, the fact is that we have kept this thing alive for seven years. Whether or not she talks to me out of boredom or true affection is something I don't really know. At this point, I have no expectations. There are times when I think this needs to end, and the only way to do that is to see her face, if only for a brief time.

 

No, you don't have the right to show up unannounced. There seems to be boundaries in place, whether directly communicated or not. After seven years, why not ask her to join you in a public location for a cup of coffee? You want a face to face meeting to settle your curiosity, but by what you have stated, you are more into her than she is you. If she declines your meeting, then end things. You don't need to see her face to do that.

[preraph]

No, you can't just show up. She's liable to call the police if you do. As you already know, she doesn't really even want to talk to you. She probably has communicated with you because she can't find a good reason not to, but unless she invites you to see her, you can't go see her. It sounds to me like she is not interested in you but just doesn't want to be mean and cut you off without any pat reason for it.