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Friend zone vs marrying best friend.


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There are people who say that when a lady looks at you as a friend, that you don't have any chance of becoming her date. Then there are plenty of ladies who post on facebook, that they are thrilled to be marrying their best friend. What is the difference between the two kinds of friend?

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There are people who say that when a lady looks at you as a friend, that you don't have any chance of becoming her date. Then there are plenty of ladies who post on facebook, that they are thrilled to be marrying their best friend. What is the difference between the two kinds of friend?

 

One you want to have sex with, and the other you don't.

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There are people who say that when a lady looks at you as a friend, that you don't have any chance of becoming her date. Then there are plenty of ladies who post on facebook, that they are thrilled to be marrying their best friend. What is the difference between the two kinds of friend?

 

 

"Friend Zone" is male media-perpetuated propaganda that some men buy into. Its not really true from a woman's stand point.

 

There are people who are destined to be friends and not lovers, but "Friend Zone" puts a negative spin on that and Friendship is not negative. Some people have a great friendship for months or years and it develops over time. What could possibly be wrong with that?

 

Anyone can grow into a relationship based on time and trust, experiences, etc etc. I think someone invented the whole "Friend Zone" notion so they could justify continuing to approach and expect sex very soon while getting to know someone. I hear so many saying "screw that, I already have friends." But then you look around and see, they don't have any female friends. Thus, they are really just out to bang females and not care anything about them on a personal level. I think the terminology comes from the notion that a woman decided within 5 minutes if she wants to be with you. While it is true that some attractions can happen immediately, this is not always the case, and why its generally better overall to pay attention and get to know someone other than when your biorhythms happen to be in

 

There are women who get physical really early, then the relationship develops and when they marry they feel its their best friend. Other women get to know someone over time, and the physical aspect comes later and they are still marrying their best friend.

 

By the way, its always good to hear this, since so many don't marry their bff, and instead marry someone simply because they appear to be good marriage material.

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They probably don't mean they were best friends first but were romantic first and then also are now best friends.

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They probably don't mean they were best friends first but were romantic first and then also are now best friends.

 

Or they were friends first and didn't become romantic until both were single.

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todreaminblue

I will only ever marry a guy i consider to be my best friend, someone who i trust with intimate details of my life.....someone i can trust who can trust me back...the first person i would talk to about soemthing that was troubling me other than god......

 

this to me becomes before physicality and physical intimacy......that is the last bond i want to have...or last permanent attachment .......because if a guy isnt my best friend......then he is not a partner i would want to sleep next to....

 

i dont follow the friendzone thing..i only ever date guys who i have formed a friendship with when i deviate from this......i end up with guys who use me for sex.....i believe...i deserve better than that, i deserve a guy who wants me as a best friend..and that guy deserves me..........deb

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They probably don't mean they were best friends first but were romantic first and then also are now best friends.

 

Or they were friends first and didn't become romantic until both were single.

 

This. The romantic/sexual attraction was always there from the beginning.

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I have gotten more dates than I could possibly have hoped for 2 years ago - but there's a common theme. I'm attracted to girls that are hardly ever attracted to me. I seem to be friendzoned a lot. I would like some help analyzing how to be better. I'm planning on taking a brief 1-2 month pause from dating to try and analyze my faults but it's really hard getting someone to analyze me.

 

1. I'm willing to work on my personality to be more alpha male to attract fans of this type of guy. How do I get that?

 

2. If a woman decided in 2 minutes that I'm not gonna be a romantic partner/ not worth getting intimate with, what did I do wrong to influence that decision? How can I get it better next time?

 

3. I've read a lot of stuff on better ways to date. I feel like the secret to having a conversation that really bonds with the lady and allows them to consider being a more intimate partner is being withheld from me, where as most other guys know the secret. What is the secret to allow a lady to say, well there's just really something about that guy (X factor/ alpha male), and I'm gonna get to know him better?

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"Married my best friend."

 

Translation

 

"My boyfriend/girlfriend became my best friend then we got married."

 

Realistically speaking, if your fiance is not your best friend, you probably shouldn't get married.

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Garcon, if it's any consolation, a lot of us are always attracted to people who aren't attracted to us back. But hopefully one day you'll find the right one.

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The difference - attraction.

The friendzone guy they did not find physically desirable. They like him, and he's a nice decent guy, and maybe they share a number of common interests but the guy is much more into her than she is into him, and he will put in more effort into the friendship than she will.

 

With the women saying they are marrying their best friend, its not usually a case of him being a best friend to begin with and he grew on her and they became lovers and its happy ever after. Rather she was attracted to him from the start, maybe she was in his social circle or maybe not, but they started hanging out or dating and the attraction snowballed as she got to know his personally and they get on extremely well and enjoy each others company a lot no matter what they are doing and spend a lot of time together.

 

Trying to be a great friend to a girl hoping she will see what a great guy you are and would make a great devoted thoughtful bf, is a lousy strategy.

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The difference - attraction.

The friendzone guy they did not find physically desirable. They like him, and he's a nice decent guy, and maybe they share a number of common interests but the guy is much more into her than she is into him, and he will put in more effort into the friendship than she will.

 

With the women saying they are marrying their best friend, its not usually a case of him being a best friend to begin with and he grew on her and they became lovers and its happy ever after. Rather she was attracted to him from the start, maybe she was in his social circle or maybe not, but they started hanging out or dating and the attraction snowballed as she got to know his personally and they get on extremely well and enjoy each others company a lot no matter what they are doing and spend a lot of time together.

 

Trying to be a great friend to a girl hoping she will see what a great guy you are and would make a great devoted thoughtful bf, is a lousy strategy.

 

Then what precisely am I doing wrong and what are the precise, concrete steps I can take to fix it? I feel like the secret is out there and I am not allowed to know the secret.

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I confess that I'm probably the last person on this forum to start dating. I'm only 19 years late to the dating scene, but at least I've realized my wrongdoings. I ask only for feedback on the things I'm doing wrong and some concrete steps to catch up to the average.

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SearchingForMyself

One the woman was already attracted to...the other she isn't.

 

As much as women don't want to admit it....looks Always gets you the interview.

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SearchingForMyself
Then what precisely am I doing wrong and what are the precise, concrete steps I can take to fix it? I feel like the secret is out there and I am not allowed to know the secret.

 

Don't t be friends with women if you solely see them as a romantic or sexual option.

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fitnessfan365
"Married my best friend."

 

Translation

 

"My boyfriend/girlfriend became my best friend then we got married."

 

Realistically speaking, if your fiance is not your best friend, you probably shouldn't get married.

 

THIS!! It does not mean two platonic friends that wound up becoming more.

 

If a woman is attracted to a man and wants to have sex with him, she won't want to be his friend. When you make your intentions known, and she says she just wants to be friends, it because she has no desire to ever have sex with you.

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LookAtThisPOst
There are people who say that when a lady looks at you as a friend, that you don't have any chance of becoming her date. Then there are plenty of ladies who post on facebook, that they are thrilled to be marrying their best friend. What is the difference between the two kinds of friend?

 

Funny how that is, right? Just boggles the mind and people STILL find reason to qualify this situation.

 

I think this is the main reason men stick around women like glue, hoping it'll turn into a "I married my best friend" situation. I mean, they have married friends that proudly say this, so they wind up a long term orbiter of said female that friend zone.

 

I mean, is the guy that she considered her "best friend" she must have FZ'ed him at some point, right and then one day decided, "Okay, I'll marry the guy that I friendzoned."

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LookAtThisPOst
"Friend Zone" is male media-perpetuated propaganda that some men buy into. Its not really true from a woman's stand point.

 

There are people who are destined to be friends and not lovers, but "Friend Zone" puts a negative spin on that and Friendship is not negative. Some people have a great friendship for months or years and it develops over time. What could possibly be wrong with that?

 

Anyone can grow into a relationship based on time and trust, experiences, etc etc. I think someone invented the whole "Friend Zone" notion so they could justify continuing to approach and expect sex very soon while getting to know someone. I hear so many saying "screw that, I already have friends." But then you look around and see, they don't have any female friends. Thus, they are really just out to bang females

 

I have no idea what gives you the impression that men want to only BANG females out of all this, seems you're putting a negative spin ON a negative spin.

 

Some men would be okay with just kissing, cuddling, holding each other close, etc.

 

You put it in a negative light as if men sees it as a sexual conquest. So quit putting such a negative spin on it.

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Don't t be friends with women if you solely see them as a romantic or sexual option.

 

So where do I start? If that's not the right way?

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My husband was my best friend before we ever started dating but he made it clear that he was interested in me the whole time, AND that he was going to date other people as long as we were just friends... He wasn't just pathetically hanging on to me hoping for something to happen "someday"

 

IMO friendship is a great first step and I see friends turn to lovers all the time but don't try to be friends just because you want a shot with someone. That leads to failure. Be friends because you want to be friends, and don't get your hopes up.

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I mean, is the guy that she considered her "best friend" she must have FZ'ed him at some point, right and then one day decided, "Okay, I'll marry the guy that I friendzoned."

 

Or they became best friends while dating. That's pretty normal when falling in love: you start to want to be with this person all the time, tell them everything, share laughs together in bed before sleep and after sex. It's lovely, and it doesn't mean she ever "friend-zoned" the guy.

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LookAtThisPOst
My husband was my best friend before we ever started dating but he made it clear that he was interested in me the whole time

 

Did he tell you this before he started dating you or after you've both in the relationship for a while.

 

If he told you this BEFORE hand, then it doesn't make sense OR he used you as the "next best thing" in case when he was dating around...if they don't work out, he figured, "hmmm...oh well, guess I'll go ask her out now."

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LookAtThisPOst
Or they became best friends while dating. That's pretty normal when falling in love: you start to want to be with this person all the time, tell them everything, share laughs together in bed before sleep and after sex. It's lovely, and it doesn't mean she ever "friend-zoned" the guy.

 

Personally, I am starting to think people are misusing words when it comes to relationships. I don't think some people will ever be on the same page nor understand because people wind up with coming up with their own definition of "Friendzone" or "marrying my best friend" or calling a date a "date".

 

People aren't even clear on the "outing" they went on a "Date."

 

"Oh, you thought this was a date?!"

 

I think people tend to change the rules as they go along or something.

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It's very simple:

 

 

There are people who say that when a lady looks at you as a friend, that you don't have any chance of becoming her date.

This is where she is not attracted to him romantically and will not date him. She only sees him as a platonic friend.

 

 

 

 

This is where she was attracted, dated, has been in a RS with and along the way that man has become both her lover and her best friend too.

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