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Dating site etiquette question


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I took the "plunge" and joined a dating site recently, and I am pretty much, apprehensive of them due to a guy who still stalks my LinkedIn profile at least once a year now (as if I can't see it's him....<rolls eyes>).

 

So, I have a first date lined up for dinner tomorrow evening, but this other guy started a convo with me AFTER I had made that date. Turns out, we have a lot in common...almost too much. I really didn't think about that until tonight. I was at band practice earlier and I got a Friend Request on FB. I noted the name, but really didn't recognize it....I figured it was a friend of a friend who plays the same FB game..haha, one more neighbor.

 

I got two messages on the dating site from this second guy on my way home from practice....didn't think anything of it. I got home, replied to his message and then got on FB. My friend request.............it was this second guy!! The only thing he had to go on was my nickname, no email address, no last name. Most people can't find me on FB even using my whole name.

 

I feel like this guy is being a bit forward to make such a request. It clearly states in my profile that I will not give out my personal information without getting to know a person first. He did apologize that he threw his phone number out there for me in the first convo after he read my profile again. But here, he is asking for more than a phone number, he can get my family's information, where I work, cell number....etc.

 

This was clearly overstepping boundaries. We had only been speaking for a day when he said I was the ONLY person on the dating site that he talked to and that he is not a player. He seems like a really nice guy....but the red flags..... :(

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That would put me off.

He is going at full speed and is over stepping the mark.

I wouldn't accept the friend request.

 

 

I would also be reading back over mails to see whether you do 'really' have so much in common or whether he is saying 'yeah, I like that too'

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This was clearly overstepping boundaries.

 

Isn't the answer in there ?....

 

They don't them red flags for nothing....

 

During my single days there was one girl who was forward like your guy and maybe even more so, she wanted to meet right after speaking on the phone and I mean right after.. in 20 mins..

I have never regretted not meeting her or moving on the the next person, she broke many of my own boundaries and if you can't stick to those then you aren't doing yourself any good...

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That is also why they made an ignore button. Use it.

 

 

While it's not great that this unwanted person looks at your Linked In profile once per year if that's all calm down. Every so often I look at my EX BF's profile on FB even though we're not friends & the technology didn't even exist when we broke up

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That would put me off.

He is going at full speed and is over stepping the mark.

I wouldn't accept the friend request.

 

 

I would also be reading back over mails to see whether you do 'really' have so much in common or whether he is saying 'yeah, I like that too'

 

Very good advice here actually....I sort of do believe him because he had details, landmarks....schools and stuff. Then again he could have googled them when I told him about a town. He did admit today (have not responded to him until a bit ago) he googled my profile pic and matched it on FB. I need to know that "trick.

 

At any rate, he messaged that he figured I was mad since I haven't responded to him and he was being nosey. I replied that this is my personal space, my family, my kids, my friends and my work info.....nope.

 

Had a nice date tonight with a man who seems to have it all "put together"....he's actually perfect for one of my single gal-friends. Going to have to work on why I do that...I don't see me in their life...but can picture who would be the better candidate. That is a real problem my father and I have discussed. :sick::sick:

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Very good advice here actually....I sort of do believe him because he had details, landmarks....schools and stuff. Then again he could have googled them when I told him about a town. He did admit today (have not responded to him until a bit ago) he googled my profile pic and matched it on FB. I need to know that "trick.

 

At any rate, he messaged that he figured I was mad since I haven't responded to him and he was being nosey. I replied that this is my personal space, my family, my kids, my friends and my work info.....nope.

 

Had a nice date tonight with a man who seems to have it all "put together"....he's actually perfect for one of my single gal-friends. Going to have to work on why I do that...I don't see me in their life...but can picture who would be the better candidate. That is a real problem my father and I have discussed. :sick::sick:

 

Why not give this guy a chance? You could use a guy who has his stuff together.

 

You're not marrying him - just date him and have fun. Don't pass a good guy off to someone else!

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If you like him who cares about dating rules, so you got a request on FB so what? He just really likes you, would you prefer someone who wouldn't have? Rules were made to be broken.

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Why not give this guy a chance? You could use a guy who has his stuff together.

 

You're not marrying him - just date him and have fun. Don't pass a good guy off to someone else!

 

You're right, of course, but we are just not suited for each other. Totally different backgrounds, views and opinions. Not that we had a difference of opinion during the dinner, it was very nice. But I will stop there as it is something more personal.

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If you like him who cares about dating rules, so you got a request on FB so what? He just really likes you, would you prefer someone who wouldn't have? Rules were made to be broken.

 

Umm, because of messages like these..."My mom said I will never meet anyone with my attitude about church and God."

 

This guy has shown at least 3 different personality types in 4 days.....blocked. I'd rather be safe than dead....

 

He also went through my questions that I answered....and belittled me for my answers......

 

Hey xxx, that totally backfired in the wrong direction. I wanted you to see me and my life and family. I didn't even think about checking out your family and I don't care if you work at Walmart. I have a good job. I just wanted us to be friends. You didn't have to accept me as a friend or let me in at all on Facebook. You could still see all my photos and see that I'm real and genuine. That was my only goal. I hate this online stuff. I would much rather talk on the phone. Sorry I interfered in your life. Good luck. xxx

 

4 minutes later:

 

Nobody's perfect dear. I'm so laid back.

 

3 minutes later:

 

I'm sure I may make you mad sometimes but that's life and I've experienced a lot.

 

1 minute later:

 

You don't look like a man so it can't be that! Lol.

 

1 minute later:

 

Or an ex con.

 

1 minute later:

 

Are you going by those dumb questions?

 

3 minutes later:

 

I don't really believe in the power of prayer. I don't smoke cigarettes. Just weed occasionally

 

2 minutes later:

 

Astro signs mean nothing. I was married to someone born same day same year. 4 hours apart. We fought like cats and dogs. Scorpios are out there. I'm a Virgo. The 4th coolest.

 

1 minute later:

 

I don't care if you smoke 2 packs a day. (I answered the question that I smoke...he had answered he wouldn't date a smoker. It's a personal preference.....but he was going through the new questions I answered tonight)

 

1 minute later:

 

I'm wasting my time aren't I? I wanted to dip my toes in the ocean with you. I don't drink. Does that bother you?

 

10 minutes later:

 

I'm not even a Christian. I had to put that on there or nobody up here would talk to me. What do you think there's someone in the sky watching me. I believe in the Easter bunny too and Santa.

 

1 minute later:

 

I'm telling you I'm much better in person. I told you that from the start.

 

1 minute later:

 

My mom said I will never meet anyone with my attitude about church and God.

 

1 minute later:

 

You eyes are beautiful

 

Me:....she's probably right.....goodbye . BLOCK

 

I've also had four messages from identity theft today...so I did sign up to be removed from public info.

 

 

Now...good people of LS, tell me how I went wrong here? :confused: This guy needed a chance?? My most failed relationships were where I gave the guy a "chance".

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Oh... whaaaaat? What do you mean messages from identity theft? He's trying to hack you?

 

I would be fine with someone adding me on Facebook, but in this case how did he find you? FB finds people nearby with that first name and perhaps he recognised your photo. But hmm.. way too keen. Way too many messages. That is just harassment. Good riddance to him.

 

You didn't go wrong. Some people are just pests.

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Oh... whaaaaat? What do you mean messages from identity theft? He's trying to hack you?

 

I would be fine with someone adding me on Facebook, but in this case how did he find you? FB finds people nearby with that first name and perhaps he recognised your photo. But hmm.. way too keen. Way too many messages. That is just harassment. Good riddance to him.

 

You didn't go wrong. Some people are just pests.

 

I'm not sure if he was trying to hack anything, it just shows you who has searched you out and where the information is coming from so you can remove yourself from sites.

 

He said he put my picture on Google search and found my FB. That's just creepy. Ugh.

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I'm not sure if he was trying to hack anything, it just shows you who has searched you out and where the information is coming from so you can remove yourself from sites.

 

He said he put my picture on Google search and found my FB. That's just creepy. Ugh.

 

I didn't know they can do that!

 

Wowwwwwww:eek:

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I checked it out on the dating site and right-clicked on my profile pic....you can Search Google for this image. Funny, it brought up some Google stuff and YouTube, but no mention of Facebook.

 

I'm wondering if I should report that, so at least they are aware that people can search you out by profile pics via Google.

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  • 1 month later...
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I thought I would come back here and give an update...first date on the site, well to do man but much older than me. I have my own money and am comfortable in my own life financially...a retired investment banker could probably give me insight to finding a tax shelter, but I couldn't see the intimacy without lying to myself. Nice guy but I can hire a financial advisor and still have my morals intact.

 

Next two dates, nice guys, the one I was interested in was an artist and had a medical career...he just wanted to give up that career for the other interest. Nothing wrong with that, so I introduced him to my arts friends....never heard from him again. I wish him the best, he's very talented. Other guy, a good dad, unique situation, and I respect that.

 

Tried another OLD site............................................................................................................................................................:sick::sick::sick::(:(:(:eek::eek::eek:

 

Manson is dead right?? I mean he's not running free 11 miles from my home right?? I get this profile of this really nice looking clean cut guy, chat a bit with him, noted several red flags (my fault I agreed to go to dinner with him)....the guy who came to dinner, OMFG!! My Aunt saw his pic when looking through my vacation pics and asked me why this Helter Skelter guy was in my pics. He attempted to send new pics of who he really is today as I asked him why he would put the better pics on his dating profile.

 

I even went to the extent to say if I posted my pics of me at 26 years old with my size 5 body but showed up as a 40 year old size 15, have I not misrepresented myself?? I've also spent the past two hours in a "one minute" conversation to tell me why I am wrong not to love the guy with the rotted teeth :sick::sick: He also has an excuse for that and asked me to co-sign for his implants...WTGDMF'ing F*ck?? <hides eyes.....you have to be M'f'ing kidding me right??> :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

In the meantime, chatted with another guy for a week, really liked him too, shame he is still hung up on his previous four month relationship. I wish him luck, if she ever stops chasing the MM.

 

Needless to say..profiles deleted...one only has to look at the local bar to find that sort of "equity" ..............men are just as bad as women on those sites.

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  • 2 months later...
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In the meantime, chatted with another guy for a week, really liked him too, shame he is still hung up on his previous four month relationship. I wish him luck, if she ever stops chasing the MM.

 

Needless to say..profiles deleted...one only has to look at the local bar to find that sort of "equity" ..............men are just as bad as women on those sites.

 

In lieu of making a new thread...^^^^ this guy hit me up on my google account a week later. I didn't even know you could do that. Sent me a public message that he didn't get to explain, and he wished I would let him.

 

Someone goes thru that much trouble....you should let them explain. We were both busy with work so I asked him to call me later when we had some downtime. He didn't so I wrote him off again.

 

A few weeks later, I tried OKC again under a different username and immediately blocked the sociopaths.....a week or so in a guy with no profile pic hits on me. I read his bio, he loves his crotch rocket. I couldn't help to write back he should put a pic of the bike on his profile pic then. :D:D

 

I already knew it was him, I just don't know why he goes to the trouble when he is hooked to the "girl who plays games" <---- his words, not mine. and not mine.

 

Mixed feelings after talking to him tonight, we may actually meet tomorrow...am I the only one who feels this is "strange"???

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As info...3 broken "dates". Anytime I talk to him on the phone, first time in two months the other night, he just wants to rant over this other girl. So unattractive. Random texts....................borrrr-iiiing. zzzzzz

 

I did note that after band 3 practices with ex-BF, he keeps trying to put space between me and my phone. No, not going back there, did already.....train-wreck well noted. I'm sure he got the message as well when I abruptly walked out on dinner.

 

I did have a "mover and shaker" (one of my friends tells me this is the guy I need) talking to me for a bit. He is on an International dating site and for about a week, liked to tell me about the Asian women who flocked to him. Not heard back from him...........oh well. :sick::sick:

 

So, dating 101...I score............LOSERS. :bunny::bunny:

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