I turned myself into a booty call

[notyouraveragebabe]

I met this stud last summer and he pretty much can have any girl he likes. Good looking, tall, nice body, the full package. I instantly was attracted to him. He took me out on a date and wined and dined me. I slept with him on the first date, we had really good sexual chemistry. We talked a lot and things seem to be going good.

 

I WANT a relationship and told this guy that. He didn't respond well. He didn't call me for 3 days. Then finally called and I just brushed him off because I'm better than that. I deserve more for myself than to be his booty call. So things ended and of course my feelings were still there.

 

Then he stopped trying and I came back for him and he didn't care to bother with me anymore. Brushed me off was passively being a jerk. Then I find out he's seeing another girl. They were seeing each other for a couple of months then they broke up seems he hurt her (I'm assuming). So then thats when I came back into the picture.

 

He was really sweet wanting to take me on a date again. He cancelled our date saying he was sick. Then rescheduled for the next day and never followed up on it. Then he asked for another date and I told him that he wasn't worth my time. He's making plans and not following through and I don't need someone like that. There are plenty of other guys out there for me. I told him like it is and surprisingly he did not even get upset. He actually killed me with kindness-apologizing and saying yes he doesn't doubt that there are plenty of guys waiting for me. He then mentioned that he is moving up North and isn't looking for anything serious and mentioned he knew I was.

 

I told him you know what for the record we had a good time and I just wanted to hook up again. (BIG MISTAKE) I don't know why I lost respect for myself and went this low to see this guy again. So i basically told him I don't care for anything but sex, but really hiding my true feelings of being in love with him still. This past month we been hooking up and he doesn't even take me out, do sweet things for me anymore. He just sleeps with me and leaves. I hate myself for it. He is moving in 5 days and I AM SO HURT!!!!

 

I just don't know what to do. He clearly doesn't care for me. He doesn't call or text me after, no communication what so ever. I haven't even heard from him. It's strictly just down to business and when he is done he just leaves.

 

I just don't understand men. He paid a taxi ride of $108 dollars to pick me up to go to his house because he was too drunk to drive to pick me up and I wasn't going to drive up there. So he arranges this just to get me over to his place. Do guys really do this? Was he desperate? Did he just want me?

[Auspecial]

I met this stud last summer and he pretty much can have any girl he likes. Good looking, tall, nice body, the full package. I instantly was attracted to him. He took me out on a date and wined and dined me. I slept with him on the first date, we had really good sexual chemistry. We talked a lot and things seem to be going good.

 

I WANT a relationship and told this guy that. He didn't respond well. He didn't call me for 3 days. Then finally called and I just brushed him off because I'm better than that. I deserve more for myself than to be his booty call. So things ended and of course my feelings were still there.

 

Then he stopped trying and I came back for him and he didn't care to bother with me anymore. Brushed me off was passively being a jerk. Then I find out he's seeing another girl. They were seeing each other for a couple of months then they broke up seems he hurt her (I'm assuming). So then thats when I came back into the picture.

 

He was really sweet wanting to take me on a date again. He cancelled our date saying he was sick. Then rescheduled for the next day and never followed up on it. Then he asked for another date and I told him that he wasn't worth my time. He's making plans and not following through and I don't need someone like that. There are plenty of other guys out there for me. I told him like it is and surprisingly he did not even get upset. He actually killed me with kindness-apologizing and saying yes he doesn't doubt that there are plenty of guys waiting for me. He then mentioned that he is moving up North and isn't looking for anything serious and mentioned he knew I was.

 

I told him you know what for the record we had a good time and I just wanted to hook up again. (BIG MISTAKE) I don't know why I lost respect for myself and went this low to see this guy again. So i basically told him I don't care for anything but sex, but really hiding my true feelings of being in love with him still. This past month we been hooking up and he doesn't even take me out, do sweet things for me anymore. He just sleeps with me and leaves. I hate myself for it. He is moving in 5 days and I AM SO HURT!!!!

 

I just don't know what to do. He clearly doesn't care for me. He doesn't call or text me after, no communication what so ever. I haven't even heard from him. It's strictly just down to business and when he is done he just leaves.

 

I just don't understand men. He paid a taxi ride of $108 dollars to pick me up to go to his house because he was too drunk to drive to pick me up and I wasn't going to drive up there. So he arranges this just to get me over to his place. Do guys really do this? Was he desperate? Did he just want me?

 

 

 

The thing I keep noticing is, you told him you just wanted to hook up. For whatever reason, mistakenly or misguidedly. You did say that and that's what he is working with.

 

 

You have to be nicely clear and explain to him what you meant. Even if that means you have to nicely tell him that you made a mistake in telling him that. After you explain, you have to retract a bit and treat it as (almost) a new relationship. No demands, just having fun and then paying attention to if his behavior changes in response to your communication. Or not....

[notyouraveragebabe]

The thing I keep noticing is, you told him you just wanted to hook up. For whatever reason, mistakenly or misguidedly. You did say that and that's what he is working with.

 

 

You have to be nicely clear and explain to him what you meant. Even if that means you have to nicely tell him that you made a mistake in telling him that. After you explain, you have to retract a bit and treat it as (almost) a new relationship. No demands, just having fun and then paying attention to if his behavior changes in response to your communication. Or not....

 

It's too late, he's moving anyways. He mentioned he didn't want to date because he is moving.

[Shining One]

I just don't understand men. He paid a taxi ride of $108 dollars to pick me up to go to his house because he was too drunk to drive to pick me up and I wasn't going to drive up there. So he arranges this just to get me over to his place. Do guys really do this? Was he desperate? Did he just want me?

This (for me) is a relatively low cost for a night of sex outside of a relationship. A night of wining and dining can easily go over $100. He was drunk as well, so this was a no brainer.

[guest569]

I would just stop contacting him and leave it at that, he's not chasing you and he is moving, so it has to end. You are hurting, so I think that you should treat it as a breakup, no contact etc.

[Quiet Storm]

I don't have anything against casual sex between two single people who can handle it emotionally. The problem is that when feelings are involved, it complicates things. You ended up feeling hurt, even though you agreed to it.

 

I think some women give sex to get love, which creates emotional pain when their investment doesn't pay off. You are saying things like "I hate myself for it" because even though you agreed to casual sex, you hoped for more. You hoped that a sexual relationship would lead to a deeper connection, and thought being close with him in that way would inspire him to care for you as more than a FWB.

 

Please know that your worth as a person has nothing to do with the value this guy places on you. No hating yourself... just learn from this. Learn that you may not be able to separate sex and feelings, and that's OK. With that knowledge about yourself in mind, learn to protect yourself from emotional pain by avoiding situations like this. Make sure your are honest with yourself and others about your expectations. If you want a relationship, say so. And believe men when they say they don't want a relationship.

[Frank2thepoint]

I just don't know what to do. He clearly doesn't care for me. He doesn't call or text me after, no communication what so ever. I haven't even heard from him. It's strictly just down to business and when he is done he just leaves.

 

I just don't understand men. He paid a taxi ride of $108 dollars to pick me up to go to his house because he was too drunk to drive to pick me up and I wasn't going to drive up there. So he arranges this just to get me over to his place. Do guys really do this? Was he desperate? Did he just want me?

 

You are basically an escort/prostitute to him. And you allowed yourself to be in this situation just because you are infatuated with him based purely on physical appeal. The guy is not desperate for sex, because you are easily giving it to him. He paid that amount for the taxi because you are providing him a service, just as the taxi provided the service of transporting you to him. As you said in the boldface, it's just business, and that's all he sees it as.

[endlessabyss]

I wonder what it feels like to be able to bang any chick you like?

 

Anyone?

[DukeNukem47]

I met this stud last summer and he pretty much can have any girl he likes. Good looking, tall, nice body, the full package. I instantly was attracted to him. He took me out on a date and wined and dined me. I slept with him on the first date, we had really good sexual chemistry. We talked a lot and things seem to be going good.

 

I WANT a relationship and told this guy that. He didn't respond well. He didn't call me for 3 days. Then finally called and I just brushed him off because I'm better than that. I deserve more for myself than to be his booty call. So things ended and of course my feelings were still there.

 

Then he stopped trying and I came back for him and he didn't care to bother with me anymore. Brushed me off was passively being a jerk. Then I find out he's seeing another girl. They were seeing each other for a couple of months then they broke up seems he hurt her (I'm assuming). So then thats when I came back into the picture.

 

He was really sweet wanting to take me on a date again. He cancelled our date saying he was sick. Then rescheduled for the next day and never followed up on it. Then he asked for another date and I told him that he wasn't worth my time. He's making plans and not following through and I don't need someone like that. There are plenty of other guys out there for me. I told him like it is and surprisingly he did not even get upset. He actually killed me with kindness-apologizing and saying yes he doesn't doubt that there are plenty of guys waiting for me. He then mentioned that he is moving up North and isn't looking for anything serious and mentioned he knew I was.

 

I told him you know what for the record we had a good time and I just wanted to hook up again. (BIG MISTAKE) I don't know why I lost respect for myself and went this low to see this guy again. So i basically told him I don't care for anything but sex, but really hiding my true feelings of being in love with him still. This past month we been hooking up and he doesn't even take me out, do sweet things for me anymore. He just sleeps with me and leaves. I hate myself for it. He is moving in 5 days and I AM SO HURT!!!!

 

I just don't know what to do. He clearly doesn't care for me. He doesn't call or text me after, no communication what so ever. I haven't even heard from him. It's strictly just down to business and when he is done he just leaves.

 

I just don't understand men. He paid a taxi ride of $108 dollars to pick me up to go to his house because he was too drunk to drive to pick me up and I wasn't going to drive up there. So he arranges this just to get me over to his place. Do guys really do this? Was he desperate? Did he just want me?

 

Sounds like you were shooting out of your league and focusing completely on looks.

 

What did you expect would happen?

[Sunberry]

I met this stud last summer and he pretty much can have any girl he likes. Good looking, tall, nice body, the full package. I instantly was attracted to him. He took me out on a date and wined and dined me. I slept with him on the first date, we had really good sexual chemistry. We talked a lot and things seem to be going good.

 

I WANT a relationship and told this guy that. He didn't respond well. He didn't call me for 3 days. Then finally called and I just brushed him off because I'm better than that. I deserve more for myself than to be his booty call. So things ended and of course my feelings were still there.

 

Then he stopped trying and I came back for him and he didn't care to bother with me anymore. Brushed me off was passively being a jerk. Then I find out he's seeing another girl. They were seeing each other for a couple of months then they broke up seems he hurt her (I'm assuming). So then thats when I came back into the picture.

 

He was really sweet wanting to take me on a date again. He cancelled our date saying he was sick. Then rescheduled for the next day and never followed up on it. Then he asked for another date and I told him that he wasn't worth my time. He's making plans and not following through and I don't need someone like that. There are plenty of other guys out there for me. I told him like it is and surprisingly he did not even get upset. He actually killed me with kindness-apologizing and saying yes he doesn't doubt that there are plenty of guys waiting for me. He then mentioned that he is moving up North and isn't looking for anything serious and mentioned he knew I was.

 

I told him you know what for the record we had a good time and I just wanted to hook up again. (BIG MISTAKE) I don't know why I lost respect for myself and went this low to see this guy again. So i basically told him I don't care for anything but sex, but really hiding my true feelings of being in love with him still. This past month we been hooking up and he doesn't even take me out, do sweet things for me anymore. He just sleeps with me and leaves. I hate myself for it. He is moving in 5 days and I AM SO HURT!!!!

 

I just don't know what to do. He clearly doesn't care for me. He doesn't call or text me after, no communication what so ever. I haven't even heard from him. It's strictly just down to business and when he is done he just leaves.

 

I just don't understand men. He paid a taxi ride of $108 dollars to pick me up to go to his house because he was too drunk to drive to pick me up and I wasn't going to drive up there. So he arranges this just to get me over to his place. Do guys really do this? Was he desperate? Did he just want me?

 

I'm agreeing with the above. You told him you were only interested in sex and thus that is what he's doing and you're agreeing to it, plus he's told you he's moving in a few days. You would be amazed how much a guy would do for sex. You need to talk to him and plainly tell him how you feel and see what the outcome is. I would then end it. It's only going to make you feel worse in the end if you don't... It's better if you tell him your feelings and get it out then him calling you for a quickie, leave the state, and you never hear from him again.

[mikethemechanic]

Why don't you invite him to come and stay with you then you can have all the sex that you crave. After all who'd want a relationship with a nerd.

[Moy]

Sounds like you were shooting out of your league and focusing completely on looks.

 

What did you expect would happen?

 

The Flight of Icarus....

[NJ123]

Sounds like you were shooting out of your league and focusing completely on looks.

 

What did you expect would happen?

 

This exactly. She went after a guy that women look for in a casual sex partner so what was she expecting.

[guest569]

Well, OP thought it was what she wanted, or tricked herself that she wanted a casual thing just to see him again

[Revolver]

My sister said it best, too many women settle to be side chicks and bootycalls because they simple to don't know their value

[Revolver]

Women settle for being the bootycall/sidechick because they don't know they're value

[endlessabyss]

Women settle for being the bootycall/sidechick because they don't know they're value

 

I disagree.

 

 

OP thinks she deserves this stud that was putting it to her, but these guys who have tons of options are not going to settle with one chick. Sure, she has may have sexual value, but when she starts delving into the realm of the elite men in society, her value lessons, and she becomes just another option.

 

 

Her idea was to start sleeping with him, hoping this would gain her some special favor.

 

 

To what she already knew deep down, sleeping with him did exactly the opposite. The lust for his physical attraction was too overwhelming for her, and she just took up the risk of being hurt, emotionally.

 

 

OP is no different than most others girls; they are not going to settle for anything but the best. Unfortunately for her, she'll only find herself being reduced to an escort for the night.

 

 

BUT, this is the name of the game; a brutal reality.

[notyouraveragebabe]

Sounds like you were shooting out of your league and focusing completely on looks.

 

What did you expect would happen?

 

I highly doubt I was shooting out of my league. Studs looks for studettes. He can have any girl he's not going to bang an ugly chick. If anything, I'm out of his league. I'm attractive, tall, really good body, funny & he tells me all the time. I have a career and my own place. This guy is an idiot and he's just a d**k. He doesn't want to be in a relationship, because he wants to stick his d**k in any vagina. I'm sure he can do this and is going to continue to do this. I agreed to the FwB and treated him like that, so he returned the favor. I guess as females we can't sepreate our emotions because I fell for him while doing it. He's moving and he wasn't looking for any commitments. I'll take it as a lesson learned. Next time , if I want something real I need to be honest or move on. I don't have trouble finding guys and I'm not even worried anymore. I already moved on since I wrote this.

[Leigh 87]

No guys like him to settle down but they settle for the most beautiful women.

 

You would know if you were drop dead gorgeous because the hottest guys would be lining up to date you.

 

I am a solid 7 and am told I am hot by hot guys but I know that I am never going to be that woman that changes an elite hot guy who has sooo many options, come on now, NO ONE is that woman hardly.

 

The vast majority of us women should know better than to go after men who are drop dead gorgeous and can have any girl they want.

 

Unless a guy like that seriously courts you and it is soon apparent that he is falling HARD for you, stay away from such guys as they will never settle for you, guys like that only truly settle for " The One" which always happens for even these types.

 

It is a classic case of you shooting above your league and being shocked when you weren't the elusive girl to "change" him.

 

It is hard enough to change even average looking men when they are set in their bachelor ways! I nearly did once, he was not a gorgeous stud but he fell hard for me but soon reverted back to his old ways!

 

And I am sure a super hottie would be even harder to tame, with all the gorgeous women in his phone he can speed/booty dial lol.

[Leigh 87]

And didn't you say he WAS seeing another woman briefly?

 

Yet he wouldn't see you beyond casual...

 

When a guy is gorgeous looking and he has the prettiest girls after him, I know to stay away. I am a 7 not a 10.

 

I think you were just being a little unrealistic here although I am sure you ARE attractive; a lovely cute guy should come your way, just stay away from the hottest top 10% of men who have ALL the options please for your own good.

 

Yes they fall for cute 7's or 8's on the occasion but not often trust me! I have only EVER seen it with hot sporting stars who married PRIOR to their career before all the girls threw themselves at him.....

 

The most desirable men who enjoy casual seldom settle until a girl absolutely knocks their socks off trust me...

[kendahke]

Women settle for being the bootycall/sidechick because they don't know they're value

 

that's what I say, too.

[kendahke]

You sold yourself out. You knew you wanted the full relationship, but when he began playing your game better than you, you discounted yourself to be taken seriously and all that got you was service sex.

 

That is the long and short of this. He was only doing what you gave him permission to do.

[preraph]

This all sounds very familiar.

[SpiralOut]

I think you were trying to get back at him, or at least make yourself feel better, by using him for sex in the same way that he used you. But it backfired.

 

 

See it as a blessing that he's moving. That will make NC easier.

[WomenWubber]

I highly doubt I was shooting out of my league. Studs looks for studettes. He can have any girl he's not going to bang an ugly chick. If anything, I'm out of his league. I'm attractive, tall, really good body, funny & he tells me all the time. I have a career and my own place. This guy is an idiot and he's just a d**k. He doesn't want to be in a relationship, because he wants to stick his d**k in any vagina. I'm sure he can do this and is going to continue to do this. I agreed to the FwB and treated him like that, so he returned the favor. I guess as females we can't sepreate our emotions because I fell for him while doing it. He's moving and he wasn't looking for any commitments. I'll take it as a lesson learned. Next time , if I want something real I need to be honest or move on. I don't have trouble finding guys and I'm not even worried anymore. I already moved on since I wrote this.

 

*women

 

This is the best mindset to have, Imo.

 

Maintain it and you're gonna be fine.