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Are paid dating sites better than free dating sites?


spanishchick00

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spanishchick00

I was curious to find out for those that have used any paid dating sites like match.com, eharmony if its just like waste of time free dating sites like people might experience on plenty of fish or okcupid with flakes, false expectations, etc, etc. I've never used a paid dating site, just free ones-so I'm wondering if those are any different and if paid sites are of more "quality."

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I"m going to find out the answer to this question because I signed up for eharmony a couple of days ago.

 

while there are more people using POF and OKC, there is a larger chance for catfish and disingenuous people to be amongst them. At least they have a verification system on EH.

 

I know that I didn't like match. I didn't feel that those who used it were serious. They sign up for the free period and then drop out after the promotion is done.

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I'll be blunt:

 

OKC: 30 messages sent - 4 first dates (25-35 age bracket)

 

Match: 12 messages sent - 0 replies, nothing. (25-35 age bracket)

 

I dont even know if those accounts even had the ability to contact me. According to match's own figures on their total userbase vs paid subscriptions you have to message 10 profiles to ensure that you will have messaged one subscribed account.

 

Match is the biggest scam going- at least it is for men who are the ones who actually are expected to message.

The bonus for women is that at least they know when they get a message that the guy has an active account and is capable of communication.

I can honestly say I have never in my life had worse value for money than the £60 I paid for 2 months of match membership, I may as well have just set it on fire or given it to a homeless person for all the good it would do me. In fact ai would have ended up feeling happier if I had given it to the homeless/charity.

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I wasn't on Match long because I felt like I was purchasing a woman through Amazon, rather than being on an actual dating service. I think that it attracts too many women who are trying to get the highest quality man because they might believe that the low-quality can't afford paid-services, and I can't be in a relationship with a woman where it's like everyday it's a first date; that fear of doing something wrong. The vibe I got from Match was that it was too professional to the extent that it prevents an authentic portrayal of a person. Instead of seeing women as "I'm hilarious and really fun to be around with," I see a woman who makes 50,000 dollars a year and wants a man who will rip out the heart of his enemies if opportunity presents itself. Because I feel it's more of a business transaction, I feel the competition; it's not that I'm intimidated, because I know there's always going to be someone better than me, but I couldn't really enjoy the Match.com experience without feeling like myself. In the end, I'm not trying to impress every woman, I'm just trying to impress one.

 

With OKC, I've had more success because people are more authentic. When you sign up for a free service, you don't need to tweak your profile a certain way to make the best of the month. But when you're paying X amount of dollars a month for a service, I'd be more inclined to take more professional pictures, highlight my BEST qualities (while putting my worst qualities under the rug), etc. Otherwise, I'm going to be paying X amount of dollars and only get a few profile views, but no messages.

 

It's all based on luck and how you want to portray yourself. If you've got no sense of humor, looking for a trophy wife that loves BBQ just as much as you do, great...go to Match. But if you're looking for a woman who sneaks chicken wings into movie theaters, farts in public, and likes doggy-style, a paid-service, from my experience, isn't for you.

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OP, before subscribing to Match, create a profile so you can search the site to see what sort of men are on there. Then do nothing until Match sends you a discounted rate. Or you can search for promo codes and discount codes by googling but sometimes they are out of date.

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I dont think you really get any better quality of people on a paid site. You mostly just get people that got fed up with free sites, and assume it will be better since they are now paying for it.

 

Also remember, just because someone is paying for a dating site, doesnt mean they automatically possess better relationship skills.

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There's still more men than women and IMO match is top heavy with very attractive women. It's either feast or famon,there aren't many average/cute women.

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There's still more men than women and IMO match is top heavy with very attractive women. It's either feast or famon,there aren't many average/cute women.

 

That obviously depends what area you are in- in my area there were one or two girls who were much hotter than OKC but on average the crowd was much older/less attractive. In my age range (25-40) the vast majority were around the 37-40 bracket.

 

So I wouldnt say there was any discernible increase in quality, hence why I sent 30 messages to girls I was attracted to in 4 months on OKC yet only 12 in 2 months on match- there just werent that many worth writing to.

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My experience, and that of all my friends who've tried, is that paid ones are worse than free ones.

 

A rather unintuitive and unexpected result: you would think that if people are paying to be there, that they are more serious about meeting people.

 

The trouble with the paid ones is the "make an account and review your matches for free" model that they all have. These "trial" accounts can't read or send messages although they will get a notification that someone has sent them a message which is what convinces them to pay up to read it. They want you to send messages to as many trial accounts as possible. And naturally you'll get a very low response rate from trial accounts.....

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My experience, and that of all my friends who've tried, is that paid ones are worse than free ones.

 

A rather unintuitive and unexpected result: you would think that if people are paying to be there, that they are more serious about meeting people.

 

The trouble with the paid ones is the "make an account and review your matches for free" model that they all have. These "trial" accounts can't read or send messages although they will get a notification that someone has sent them a message which is what convinces them to pay up to read it. They want you to send messages to as many trial accounts as possible. And naturally you'll get a very low response rate from trial accounts.....

 

I have no problem with the trial account model. My issue is that they dont tell you who the non-subscribers are so you are pretty much wasting your time in messaging them and in the process doing match a favour by encouraging sign ups. That aspect is an absolute scame and its people who are already paying for a subscription who bear the disappointment. I honestly dont know how they get away with it.

 

Of course you can always pay more to get the ability for non subscribers to message you but a months subscription in the first place is not cheap and I would question what value for money you get from that fee in the first place when you literally just get access to match's userbase and thats it. They rate thenselves too highly charging £30 just for that. You have no guarantees of any return and whats more the userbase itself has a specified set of requirements per profile that disqualify you before you have even sent a message. If you are a guy who is under 6 ft then if I were you I would not bother paying for a match subscription as it will be a waste of money before you have even begun.

 

Total scam.

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My issue is that they dont tell you who the non-subscribers are

OF COURSE they don't! Who would waste their time sending a message to a trial account, knowing the chances of a reply are virtually zero? And if nobody sent messages to trials, why would the trial customer pay up? This is a fundamental part of their business model. The whole reason trial accounts pay up because they have 30 messages waiting to be read. If they told you who was on a trial, they wouldn't get anywhere near as many new customers.

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Lokin4AReason

I have been thinking of this same subject ...

 

 

all the site(s) I have seen, heard of, or even join ... its you have to pay to reply to anything or who has seen your account ...

 

 

I haven't yet found a free site that offer(s) a full service in communication w/ someone ...

 

 

everything has been web related in meeting anyone and they can be anyone behind the monitor. its just hard to know at who they really are w/o seeing/ meeting them in person IMO

 

 

its like, everyone is afraid of each other =0/

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OF COURSE they don't! Who would waste their time sending a message to a trial account, knowing the chances of a reply are virtually zero? And if nobody sent messages to trials, why would the trial customer pay up? This is a fundamental part of their business model. The whole reason trial accounts pay up because they have 30 messages waiting to be read. If they told you who was on a trial, they wouldn't get anywhere near as many new customers.

 

Oh I can see why they do it but ethically its piss poor and dilutes what their actual subscribers pay for when they already get nothing for their subscriptionas it is. They care very little for the people who actually give them money, I am surprised they get any sign ups at all. £30 is not exactly a nominal amount to spend either- if it was it could be more easily justified.

 

There is no difference between match and an online betting site- both will take your money whilst only providing a return if you are lucky. Hell, the odds on a return with a bookie are lower. Its a system that rewards those who have to put the least effort in- the pursuer (typically a man) has to pony up for the privilege of sending a message never knowing if its been read or even if the person can reply. I did some reading up and quite a few guys report the same as me- a number of dates from OKC yet no responses at all on match.

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JuneJulySeptember
I'll be blunt:

 

OKC: 30 messages sent - 4 first dates (25-35 age bracket)

 

Match: 12 messages sent - 0 replies, nothing. (25-35 age bracket)

 

I dont even know if those accounts even had the ability to contact me. According to match's own figures on their total userbase vs paid subscriptions you have to message 10 profiles to ensure that you will have messaged one subscribed account.

 

Match is the biggest scam going- at least it is for men who are the ones who actually are expected to message.

The bonus for women is that at least they know when they get a message that the guy has an active account and is capable of communication.

I can honestly say I have never in my life had worse value for money than the £60 I paid for 2 months of match membership, I may as well have just set it on fire or given it to a homeless person for all the good it would do me. In fact ai would have ended up feeling happier if I had given it to the homeless/charity.

 

As far as Match, if you send a message to a woman, then if she is paid up, only then can she read it. You get a read notification.

 

And since almost all of the women I have messaged have read my emails (and not responded), they are paying members.

 

As far as free versus pay, people will generally not pay good $ to create fake accounts, and spam and stuff. So, I would say women have to deal with less BS on paid sites and are more open to men's messages.

 

They have not been open to MY messages, but anyway, there it is.

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I haven't yet found a free site that offer(s) a full service in communication w/ someone ...

What about POF or OKC?

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As far as Match, if you send a message to a woman, then if she is paid up, only then can she read it. You get a read notification.

 

And since almost all of the women I have messaged have read my emails (and not responded), they are paying members.

 

As far as free versus pay, people will generally not pay good $ to create fake accounts, and spam and stuff. So, I would say women have to deal with less BS on paid sites and are more open to men's messages.

 

They have not been open to MY messages, but anyway, there it is.

 

Even then, to get a mail read notification is a chargeable add on to your subscription. AFAIK all your basic subscription cost gets you is the functionality to actually message people. £30 a month for that- strewth.

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Who cares if the message was read or not? Why would you pay for that feature?

 

They either reply or they don't. Inbox contents are all that matter.

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Who cares if the message was read or not? Why would you pay for that feature?

 

They either reply or they don't. Inbox contents are all that matter.

 

Exactly! Match want you to pay for the depression of knowing that your message was read but not worthy of a reply- you couldnt make it up.

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EngnimaticResponse
Exactly! Match want you to pay for the depression of knowing that your message was read but not worthy of a reply- you couldnt make it up.

 

They CHARGE for that now?! That feature used to be included in the basic service!! Match has thrown its business practices down the toilet. When I first joined years ago, you could see who messaged you and even Read the message, but had to pay to send/reply. They don't even give you that anymore. I just re-activated to see who was on in my area, and recieved an e-mail: "Someone messaged you!" No pic, No name, No nothing. Link sends you to "give us money" page. Who in thier right mind pays for dinner BEFORE a blind date? *Operator: "You are recieving a collect call. Please deposit $150 and we will tell you who it is and let you talk to them." REALLY?!

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They CHARGE for that now?! That feature used to be included in the basic service!! Match has thrown its business practices down the toilet. When I first joined years ago, you could see who messaged you and even Read the message, but had to pay to send/reply. They don't even give you that anymore. I just re-activated to see who was on in my area, and recieved an e-mail: "Someone messaged you!" No pic, No name, No nothing. Link sends you to "give us money" page. Who in thier right mind pays for dinner BEFORE a blind date? *Operator: "You are recieving a collect call. Please deposit $150 and we will tell you who it is and let you talk to them." REALLY?!

 

Yeah its such a scam! People actually report having lots of views and as soon as they pay up they suddenly find they actually have no views at all. I dont know how they are still in business, I honestly don't.

So I would take those notifications that 'XoHotgurl89oX has winked at you' with a liberal pinch of salt!

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Pay sites are NOT better. Try Plenty of Fish (POF) - its free!!

 

I have been told by many that sites like Match and Eharmony are terrible and not worth the $$ plus many of the same people are on POF.

 

Thinking I needed a change I signed up for a pay site and it sucked. A complete waste of time and a barrage of emails from other pay sites so they sell your information. I quit the site before my subscription was even up.

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As long as they give free trial periods there will be tons of fake profiles. (And scammers behind them that use those profiles)

 

So I don't know if I would pay for that.

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Out of which question?

 

In my opinion it is worse than the free sites but that doesn't mean it doesn't work for some people.

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I am on a paid site. Admittedly its a more obscure one however...

 

After a discussion I read on here I decided to do a little test. Basically I logged on/ off and waited to see how many other women logged on after me. Its a site where you can view who has logged on with out having to log in yourself...

 

It took two weeks for my profile to get to page 2. After 3 weeks a grand total of 12 women in a 5 year age bracket in my county had logged on... The same 4-5 men kept logging back in regularly but those slightly further down didn't move position much at all. Hence I can only assume that it was the same 4-5 men logging in regularly.

 

Over a 2 month period I "spoke" to a grand total of 3 men. One was totally unsuitable, one a complete idiot (didn't understand the difference between Purchasing and Sales) and the other wasn't all that bothered. Didn't meet any of them.

 

Its the same faces all the time. So I am chalking it up to experience, laughing about the waste of money that I could have used to go for a meal out or doing something fun and leaving well enough alone. If you add it up its cost a grand sum of around £50 to "talk" to each unsuitable man. I can do that for free! :laugh:

 

My profile has not been viewed since the new year. I am not bothered. It must be horrid for those who have high hopes pinned on it and the marketing these sites do is a case of poetic licence used to the max. Ho hum and c'est la vie.

 

I don't want to use PoF as my ex used it to find women to sleep with while we were together and I want to avoid contact with him if possible. I suspect he will at some point go back on. I am still only really just getting comfortable with the idea of "advertising" myself like that so its a bit much for me.

 

Statistically you are still far better off talking to people you know and going out doing something you enjoy to meet some one suitable. 1 in 5 relationships start because of OLD (so its worth a shot). But that also means a whopping 4/5 that do not. Oh and you also have far more fun going out and doing things rather than staring at a computer screen! :D

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