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How to draw men?


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I am not talking about being a queen bee. I am looking methodically on ways to at least catch one guy's attention. I am average looking, but I do wear a dress and in fact I wear dresses to work everyday. I do put on make up to cover up my acnes. I lunch alone in food centres near my workplace. I don't date colleagues. I don't frequent bars because night scene is not for me. And I am twenty six. So what else is missing? I researched through the internet but all it is about be yourself.

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TouchedByViolet

In real life, be physically attractive and be approachable.

 

You can also try online dating. Women always have a large amount of men drawn to them there.

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Frank2thepoint

You're putting a lot of effort on attracting a man to your physical looks. Not a good route to take, and you may not like the type of guys you attract. What are your interests? Have you tried connecting with men that share your hobbies?

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genuinelyloverly7

Well, just by reading your title I would suggest a pencil and sketch pad with a good eraser. You might want to re-draw them as you get to know them better. :laugh:

 

 

Seriously, I find that there is no science to it. You do your best (and that means being your best- maybe enrich your best aspects to get more visibility than the ones your still working on) and it either works or not. So if your hair/bust/a** is your best feature, then play it up! Get a friend to check your wardrobe- are the materials/colors/cuts flattering to your figure? And make sure they feel good- I hate adjusting my clothes all night like I didn't pick my own wardrobe.

 

Smile- many wallflowers don't realize that they might be getting checked out. Don't sit there frowning/glum like your thinking how the night isn't going the way you planned.

Be there for your pleasure, not to meet guys. Guys love it when you are happy. It means it is not their job/responsibility to make you happy. And go out to do activities that will put you in contact with the types you want to meet. Volunteer, go biking, et cetera. And take chances! Say hello to the guy buying tomatoes right next to you, or catching the frisbee under your lunch table. Don't let your nerves keep you from being relaxed and comfortable, yet open enough to catch their eye. That doesn't mean doing all the work; it use means letting them know the light is on. And be safe!

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It's about being your best self.

 

 

Are you approachable? Do you smile? Do you flirt or do you send off signals that scream stay away?

 

 

Have you ever asked anyone -- male or female to join you for lunch?

 

 

If you eat in a cafeteria that is all people in your company, start eating elsewhere if you don't want to date colleagues. Is there a deli nearby or even a park bench? Do you go out for happy hour after work? There will be other people in the bar. Even if you don't care for bars, have one soda with colleagues & smile at the others. Most nice places won't have too many over bearing drunks at happy hour.

 

 

Do you have any hobbies or interests? Connecting with someone you already have something in common with is a great option.

 

 

Are you doing OLD?

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^ What she said. Smile and take on new pasttimes and activities that involve interacting with people, preferably that you might interact with over and over so someone can get to know you. I was never the best looking girl in the room either, but I made up for it with making sure I initiated contact with guys I thought were interesting. Guys will fall for girls they're around long enough sometimes who they might never initiate contact with in a bar because they're too busy ogling the blond with big boobs, but it does take some repeated contact.

 

In my case, I met many of my me working in retail when I was young and going to see bands. I formed bonds with those I worked with that developed over time and through them and going out, met others and eventually formed bonds with them. Try to think of something you enjoy that isn't solitary and involves some guys and do it regularly. Maybe take a second job in retail that doesn't pay anything but is somewhere fun to work where you can just meet people -- or even waitressing where you meet other employees and clients. Those type jobs can be disposable but can lead to good socializing.

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Are you in or near a tourist area? You could walk around and if some guy looks lost ask him if he's a tourist and does he need help? If he isn't you still have a conversation opener. If he is, offer to show him around while he is in town and he will buy you lunch or dinner. You know he will be leaving so think of it as practice dating.

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It sounds like the OP is looking to talk to a specific guy, I'm not 100% on that. But if that's the case, I'd say if you can, find something to talk to him about. Don't be too flirty, that can come across as weird, but be as nice as you can. Take your time, give him space but let him know you'd like him to talk to you sometime. Good luck, we all need some.

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JuneJulySeptember

How to draw men?

 

Be a female.

 

Whenever a woman is asking how she can attract men, 100% of the time what she is really asking is "How can I draw the men I WANT?"

 

And that answer cannot be answered without a lot of other stuff.

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Most of the women that catch my attention are the ones that have a very deep sense of self and aren't afraid to express it. They are who they are and they have their opinions about stuff they'll share whether you like it or not. But also know how to be very feminine and stroke my ego as well.

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I don't go for happy hour after work; I hEad home straight. Yea I smile to colleagues, bosses sometimes strangers who are smiling to me.

 

I've no hobbies yet...it's usually reading books, surfing net or jogging, walking around supermart. I'm trying to find a side job which is fun and keeping my weekend occupied...

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LookAtThisPOst
I am not talking about being a queen bee. I am looking methodically on ways to at least catch one guy's attention. I am average looking, but I do wear a dress and in fact I wear dresses to work everyday. I do put on make up to cover up my acnes. I lunch alone in food centres near my workplace. I don't date colleagues. I don't frequent bars because night scene is not for me. And I am twenty six. So what else is missing? I researched through the internet but all it is about be yourself.

 

Just show up...that's it. :)

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regine_phalange

You ll catch their attention when you least expect and want it. Just forget about it and stop trying. There's always someone who's going to notice you and like small details of you exactly when you re not thinking about how you appear. I once had a sandwich maker attracted to my "no" when he asked if I wanted salt :laugh: I was just absentminded and the "no" came out warmer than it should have. Another time I happened to be kind of shy and bored during a party where I knew only the host, so this guy came and kept me company for the rest of the evening. And several other examples. When I really feel like meeting someone then no one notices me. :laugh: Im 100% sure there are aspects of your mannerisms that are attractive when you're totally relaxed. So relax. When you re relaxed you can also see with whom you have the most spontaneous chemistry with.

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I don't go for happy hour after work; I hEad home straight. Yea I smile to colleagues, bosses sometimes strangers who are smiling to me.

 

I've no hobbies yet...it's usually reading books, surfing net or jogging, walking around supermart. I'm trying to find a side job which is fun and keeping my weekend occupied...

 

Stop going straight home. If you know there is an office happy hour go. Again, I get that bars aren't your thing but one soda with the group won't hurt.

 

Try being the 1st person to smile.

 

Since you read, go to the library & book store cafes. See who is around. Surf the net in a wi fi hot spot, not alone at your house. Join a co-ed running club.

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Dress feminine and show a bit of cleavage. This always worked for my exW and she was substantially overweight most of our M. Never failed to garner attention. What you do with that attention and how you sort through it is up to you.

 

Since you don't date colleagues nor go to bars, focus on finding more social venues for interaction, as well as growing your personal social circle so you find yourself attending social gatherings, both formal and informal. More interactions generally equal more opportunities to draw men.

 

You can, of course, approach men you like but, generally, women are loathe to do this, rather dress and act in a way which is viewed as being approachable. You can work on approachable body language with friends and by using a body mirror to critically analyze you body language.

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Please don't show cleavage! You'll get attention, but the wrong type of attention from the wrong guys. I'm asked out constantly, both by strangers and guys I know, and I dress conservatively.

 

Lunch by yourself? Heading straight home to surf the web after work? The only options for dates are going to be the plumber and the delivery guy!

 

If the bar scene is not your thing, that's perfectly okay. But what are you doing to engage socially with others and meet new people? How are you coming in contact and spending time with others? How are you building a large social circle?

 

What's missing from your description of your efforts is how you're attempting to connect with men...and the world in general. How are you interacting socially with others in the real world?

 

Guys don't want their head bitten off should they approach and attempt to speak with you. Do you smile, and are you friendly with the world at large? Do you make eye contact with others? Is your demeanor warm and approachable? Do you engage in banter or conversation with others? Is it fun to speak with you? If you're somewhat withdrawn and shy, or you give the impression that you won't say much in conversation, most guys won't attempt to approach you. Ditto if you look or seem mean.

 

Consider reading psychologist Henry Cloud's book, How To Get A Date Worth Keeping: Be Dating In Six Months. . He gives salient advice and has lots of nuggets of wisdom for both men and women struggling to find someone to date.

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^ True, but the trick is to show only a "hint" of cleavage, not give away the entire rack. In addition to cleavage, showing other skin in moderate amounts is good, an off-the-shoulder blouse or one with those slits at the shoulder, a dress or blouse with one of those horizontal slits up above the boobs, a knit top that fits where it shows your shape, anything that shows that you have a waist and curves, even if it's not showing skin. Physically, men are drawn to boobs and the womanly hourglass shape, so v-necks, scoop necks, and anything to cinch the waist are going to attract men. I'm glad you wear dresses. Some generations end up too grungy looking to attract anyone unless they have such an extreme body that even grungy looks good. But really, nothing works better than something outlining the boobs or just a slightly low neckline. Do not wear anything trashy though, especially to work or during the day, but show just a little to get attention. A good bra is very important for this, so if you haven't done so already, go to a good department store and have a "bra fitting" done there and then get one that is for work and one that emphasizes your cleavage for dates, you can tell them, and it will push up and together so you can just show a little at the top of a normal v-neck.

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How to draw men?

 

Be a female.

 

Whenever a woman is asking how she can attract men, 100% of the time what she is really asking is "How can I draw the men I WANT?"

 

And that answer cannot be answered without a lot of other stuff.

 

If any men are wondering if there's women out there who just want to attract any man whatsoever, the answer is no. I realize some men are sort of this way and would seek sex with almost any woman, but I've never known a woman who was that way. A woman wants to attract a suitable man for a relationship or an attractive man for something more casual.

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Frank2thepoint
I've no hobbies yet...it's usually reading books, surfing net or jogging, walking around supermart.

 

Reading books and jogging are hobbies. If you want a man that has similar hobbies, you can try a book club and runner's group, since these are within your comfort zone. I myself read books and jog, so I'm open to having a conversation with a woman about such subjects. And there are probably plenty of men in your area that have at least one of those hobbies which you can use to your advantage in getting a guy attracted to you. You just have to market those hobbies.

 

 

I'm trying to find a side job which is fun and keeping my weekend occupied...

 

Getting a side job will deter you from meeting a guy, especially since you said you are not looking to date anyone from work. Also, if you do happen to meet someone, having to work on the weekend will stifle your free time for dates. You can volunteer at a pet shelter, if you like animals. You won't get paid, but I'm sure you'll meet a man that likes pets.

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Stop going straight home. If you know there is an office happy hour go. Again, I get that bars aren't your thing but one soda with the group won't hurt.

 

Try being the 1st person to smile.

 

Since you read, go to the library & book store cafes. See who is around. Surf the net in a wi fi hot spot, not alone at your house. Join a co-ed running club.

 

Okay... I think the second option sounds more easy for me. I don't mind going to bars if it's not my boss who invited. Not that I dislike him or anything but I'm very sure I don't want to get involved with co workers too close to me (my immediate boss, really?) what's co-ed club?

 

I'm not a super runner and I've no cleavages. So that's out.

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I hadn't any cleavages either, but this means you can wear deep V's in evening wear, which certain men love. And also, even if you are flat as a 12-year-old, any self-respecting demi or pushup bra can give you cleavage. I'm serious. It can give even men cleavage. You can , if you wish, leave it on during sex so that the man has cleavage to view. Really, it's more visual than anything to them. They don't care if it's only the bra any more than they care when they're fake.

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Please don't show cleavage! You'll get attention, but the wrong type of attention from the wrong guys. I'm asked out constantly, both by strangers and guys I know, and I dress conservatively.

 

Lunch by yourself? Heading straight home to surf the web after work? The only options for dates are going to be the plumber and the delivery guy!

 

Dressing sexy will get the attention of the wrong type of guys but it will also get the attention of the right type of guys too. It will get the attention of guys full stop. It might only seem like the wrong guys because the more confident/assertive ones (experienced with lots of women) will be the ones that come forward in cold call situations to chat her up. It wont exclusively be those guys and she will need to be a good judge of character to help her weed the bs charmers from the genuine ones. She can influence things somewhat by starting conversations with guys she likes or giving them good indicators of interest. (just smiling and flirty eye contact is a great start if she never does that)

 

While she says she wears make up and a dress, there is a lot of variation in that for it to be of any worth in terms of is it helping her. Really the more flattering the outfit in terms of showing off her body the better it will be in terms of catching guys eyes. If she is a bit of plain girl it will help a lot to dress more stylish/figure hugging just as women say it helps a guy to dress stylish. When it comes to makeup I've seem a few amazing before & after photos and youtube clips of women that I would say go up 2 pts in attractiveness with cosmetics talent. Personally I think its somewhat deceitful, but for a woman who is struggling to get attention, I certainly don't blame them for tasking that advantage (as long as she don't exclusively expect guys 2pts better)

 

A woman lunching by herself is good in terms of providing an opportunity for a guy to meet her, but only to a certain extent. I really would be much more likely to ask to share a table with the woman (and chat to her) if the place was crowded and short on tables. Even then a lot of women would be wary or annoyed with a guy invading her space or trying to chat her up when she just wants peace & quiet on her break. I've looked around at the women in the food court where I eat sometimes, and I'd say 90% of them have their earphones on or are head down engrossed in their smartphones.

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Alright a little update.

 

So yes, I smiled at people. Some people smiled back. A guy whom I would say pretty attractive (blond, blue eyes, 6 feet) was staring briefly at me (nope I have no cleavages) in the train but got off two stops earlier.

 

A colleague held the door for me when I was several steps behind entrance. Though I lunched alone again, life seems peaceful after all?

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I don't go for happy hour after work; I hEad home straight. Yea I smile to colleagues, bosses sometimes strangers who are smiling to me.

 

I've no hobbies yet...it's usually reading books, surfing net or jogging, walking around supermart. I'm trying to find a side job which is fun and keeping my weekend occupied...

 

Join running clubs, book clubs...

 

Go and try new activities.

 

Go to happy hour - you don't have to get plastered and most bars and pubs also serve non alcoholic drinks.

 

Be sociable.

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