cbplayer Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 (edited) I've been having trouble getting women all my life. Girls will often ignore my texts. I'm a virgin. I've never had a gf nor have I had sex and 21. I'm feeling like life isn't worth living and that I'm destined to a forever alone. This is a genuine cry for help. Please help. For the past couple of months I've been focusing on finishing my degree and unfortunately haven't had much time for socializing with girls. However, I recently started using tinder and POF in the hopes of finding some girls to date. I've matched with a few attractive girls on tinder but eventually they either stop replying to me or unmatch me I've tried many different approaches but nothing works. Quite frankly, it is driving me crazy. I am currently speaking with one girl from POF and it appears that she's interested in me. I don't want to **** things up with her. I will copy and paste our convo .Please show me how to progress from here. Please forgive me if I said anything silly in the convo. I have honestly tried everything and right now I'm just doing w/e. ME 12/18/2014 11:01:57 PM Idk what a unique opener would be but I know that I'm more appealing than most guys are. So, here's my opener. Hi I'm *****. Nice to meet you. HER 12/18/2014 11:08:28 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Appealing...? Hmm... HER 12/18/2014 11:08:45 PM Report this message for inappropriate content What kind of appealing in your perspective ? ME 12/18/2014 11:10:25 PM I'm tall, smart, funny, and athletic. That's pretty appealing, dont you think so lol? HER 12/18/2014 11:11:30 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Hmm its great but not everything HER 12/18/2014 11:12:21 PM Report this message for inappropriate content But still great.. You look like a more handsome theo ME 12/18/2014 11:13:41 PM Haha, thanks but what's a handsome Theo lol? HER 12/18/2014 11:14:02 PM Report this message for inappropriate content From the Cosby show ME 12/18/2014 11:15:07 PM Ohh lol. Thanks ME 2/18/2014 11:15:34 PM You like like a Hispanic pretty Ruthy haha ME 12/18/2014 11:15:41 PM Report this message for inappropriate content What made you want to message me ? ME 12/18/2014 11:19:56 PM You seem to have a broad range of interests, you said you're ambitious, and your profile gave me the impression that you have a good head on your shoulders and I respect that. HER 12/18/2014 11:19:57 PM Report this message for inappropriate content U usually go for Hispanics? ME 12/18/2014 11:20:16 PM What made you want to message me lol? HER 12/18/2014 11:20:21 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Thanks for that. Are you in school ? HER 12/18/2014 11:20:40 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Say some university ME 12/18/2014 11:21:12 PM Yeah. MIT. HER 12/18/2014 11:21:46 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Wow look at you. What's your major ? HER 12/18/2014 11:21:58 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Let me guess cosmetology ME 12/18/2014 11:22:39 PM Electrical Engineering & Computer Science. I'm the black Mark Zuckerberg haha. You didn't answer my question though lol. HER 12/18/2014 11:24:22 PM Report this message for inappropriate content What was it ? ME 12/18/2014 11:24:47 PM What made you wanna message me HER 12/18/2014 11:24:58 PM Report this message for inappropriate content So according to you, your longest relationship has been 0 years... HER 12/18/2014 11:25:38 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Watch you get sprung I'm gonna make you wash my dishes and paint my toenails ME 12/18/2014 11:28:55 PM Lol idk why I said that. My longest relationship was actually 1.5 years. And we'll see about the dishes and painting toenails haha. ME 12/18/2014 11:29:25 PM I actually am willing to do a lot for a lady if I believe she deserves it haha HER 12/18/2014 11:32:03 PM Report this message for inappropriate content We'll see? That sounds like you're challenging me HER 12/18/2014 11:32:29 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Its ok I'm gonna take a picture of you scrubbing!! ME 12/18/2014 11:35:24 PM Hahaha yeah right ME 12/18/2014 11:37:09 PM My question was, what made you want to message me lol? HER 12/18/2014 11:38:23 PM Report this message for inappropriate content I messaged you back because of several reasons ME 12/18/2014 11:38:50 PM What were the reasons? HER 12/18/2014 11:39:06 PM Report this message for inappropriate content I didn't see any middle fingers, no smoking pics, and u r handsome HER 12/18/2014 11:39:54 PM Report this message for inappropriate content I dont think anything is wrong with smoking or flipping the bird here and there but I don't think its attractive when people are overly explicit ME 12/18/2014 11:41:02 PM I have the same sentiments lol ME 12/18/2014 11:41:29 PM I need to finish a paper, how much longer will you be up? HER 12/18/2014 11:41:33 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Ok drake HER 12/18/2014 11:41:52 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Idk... You can always talk to me tomorrow. HER 12/18/2014 11:41:58 PM Report this message for inappropriate content ?? ME 12/18/2014 11:42:30 PM I'll message you when I finish the paper. HER 12/18/2014 11:45:07 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Ok ttyl ME 12/19/2014 12:27:16 AM I'm back HER Report this message for inappropriate content I fell asleep ME 12/19/2014 11:39:55 AM Good morning hun HER 12/19/2014 11:43:14 AM Report this message for inappropriate content Good morning ME 12/19/2014 11:44:10 AM What are your plans for today? HER 12/19/2014 11:44:45 AM Report this message for inappropriate content Study for finals.. Wash my hair.. ME 12/19/2014 11:45:49 AM Oh wow you still have finals. Mine ended this week. ME 12/19/2014 11:46:08 AM When are you going to be done? HER 12/19/2014 11:47:00 AM Report this message for inappropriate content After sunday ------- After that we continued to talk about what she looks for in a guy and I asked if I fit her criteria and she said yes and then she asked me the same question and I told her yes. Then we talked about school about final exams. We've been talking for 2 days. I really don't want to mess things up. Please advise me. Edited December 21, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SomeDude16 Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Confidence bud. You asked like 4 different times why she messaged you, even ignoring her questions to do so. Who cares why she's talking to you? You shouldn't because she wouldn't be messaging you if she wasn't interested. That's 90% of the battle right there. Talk about her, make her sound like the most interesting person in the world. Women love to talk about themselves. You also missed a few things: #1- don't mention previous relationships, it's too early. #2- get her number, don't use the app to talk. You should get the number within the first 5 or so messages #3- be a little more flirty It's all practice boss, the more you will do it the more you'll pick up on these things. If you need more specific guidance let me know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rydo Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Ask her out of course. Why did you ask why she wanted to message you so many times? You are over confident in one message and seem to lack confidence in the conversation overall. In other words be more cool. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cbplayer Posted December 20, 2014 Author Share Posted December 20, 2014 Confidence bud. You asked like 4 different times why she messaged you, even ignoring her questions to do so. Who cares why she's talking to you? You shouldn't because she wouldn't be messaging you if she wasn't interested. That's 90% of the battle right there. Talk about her, make her sound like the most interesting person in the world. Women love to talk about themselves. You also missed a few things: #1- don't mention previous relationships, it's too early. #2- get her number, don't use the app to talk. You should get the number within the first 5 or so messages #3- be a little more flirty It's all practice boss, the more you will do it the more you'll pick up on these things. If you need more specific guidance let me know. Can please you give me examples of flirty things that I should say? Also, how do I go about asking for her number? I know it sounds like a silly question but there have been times when I asked a girl for her number on tinder and pof and the girl ended up not replying or changing the subject.I'd appreciate all the help that I can get. I'm really bad at this stuff apparently. Link to post Share on other sites
SomeDude16 Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Can please you give me examples of flirty things that I should say? Also, how do I go about asking for her number? I know it sounds like a silly question but there have been times when I asked a girl for her number on tinder and pof and the girl ended up not replying or changing the subject.I'd appreciate all the help that I can get. I'm really bad at this stuff apparently. No problem bud. You want to be flirty and get the number, so let's combine the two. If I was in your position I would say something like this: You- Can I ask you a important question Her-sure You- I'm talking to my ( insert app name here ) crush right now and I'm wondering, should I straight up ask her for her number and her favorite type of cuisine? " And then play off the response she gives Link to post Share on other sites
Author cbplayer Posted December 20, 2014 Author Share Posted December 20, 2014 If you're going to say something like this, you better be able to back it up somehow. Your answer is too generic. I would have spent some time finding out what women don't like about the typical male profile and say you aren't that guy. See where she mentions the middle finger pics? Remember that and use it on the next girl. See, this illustrates how your answer fell short. She was not impressed. Never ask this. You're fishing for compliments. Women do not find this sexy. I wouldn't be kissing her behind so much so quickly either. You don't know anything about this chick for you to say so many good things about her. Why type "lol" so much? Don't. Also, your fishing for compliments failed the first time, that should be a clue not to try again. Now you just sound desperate. Please don't keep asking women this. Oh, heck no. This is her showing her lack of respect for you. And this is you being a doormat for her. Again, quit with all the "ha ha," and "lol" stuff. Also, this is your fourth attempt at fishing for compliments. Definitely coming off as insecure now. Attempt number five at fishing for compliments. This goes beyond insecure. No beuno. First, if you have to go, no need to tell her why, just say you have things you need to do and that you will talk to her later. You sound really desperate here. This is a hint and yet... ...You still ignore the hint and try to talk to her later that night. She suggested tomorrow, you message her tomorrow. It's too early for you to use terms of endearment with this girl. Notice she doesn't respond the same way? This is where you speak for her and say "You forgot to mention meet me for coffee." That would show some backbone. I never like to ask a girl out in a question. There is no question, they want to go out with you and you both darn well know it. If she does not agree to meet you that day, or at the very least give you an alternative day, you move on. Thank you for pointing out where I messed up. Despite my various mistakes, she's still messaging me and asking questions. Does that mean she still has some interest and that the whole situation can be salvaged? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cbplayer Posted December 20, 2014 Author Share Posted December 20, 2014 No problem bud. You want to be flirty and get the number, so let's combine the two. If I was in your position I would say something like this: You- Can I ask you a important question Her-sure You- I'm talking to my ( insert app name here ) crush right now and I'm wondering, should I straight up ask her for her number and her favorite type of cuisine? " And then play off the response she gives Thank you. I'll give it a shot. Btw, what should I do if she thinks that said crush isn't her? Link to post Share on other sites
SomeDude16 Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 (edited) Thank you. I'll give it a shot. Btw, what should I do if she thinks that said crush isn't her? She should get the refrence but if you wanna be sure after she responds I'd reply by saying something like: "Well, I just asked her ;)" or " just did ;)" followed by "I'll let you know how it how it goes" Keep us updated, any more questions just ask Edited December 20, 2014 by jab116 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cbplayer Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 She should get the refrence but if you wanna be sure after she responds I'd reply by saying something like: "Well, I just asked her ;)" or " just did ;)" followed by "I'll let you know how it how it goes" Keep us updated, any more questions just ask Me : I'm talking to my POF crush and I was wondering if I should ask her for her number and her favorite cuisine her : hmm you should me : I kinda already asked her lol her : that's adorable. You're gonna have to wait until Friday because that's when I get paid and I'm switching carries. My favorite food is Mexican food. What's yours? Me : I don't have a favorite but I love this west african delicacy called jollof . Are there any red flags present? How should conduct myself in the interactions we'll have between now and friday? Link to post Share on other sites
aggie382 Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 I got bored reading that. Thankfully I don't use OKC or Match anymore, but that brought back unpleasant memories! You need to just ask her out and show her you're "more appealing" in person. I doubt she's looking for a pen pal. Link to post Share on other sites
SomeDude16 Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Me : I'm talking to my POF crush and I was wondering if I should ask her for her number and her favorite cuisine her : hmm you should me : I kinda already asked her lol her : that's adorable. You're gonna have to wait until Friday because that's when I get paid and I'm switching carries. My favorite food is Mexican food. What's yours? Me : I don't have a favorite but I love this west african delicacy called jollof . Are there any red flags present? How should conduct myself in the interactions we'll have between now and friday? No red flags, you did great you don't want to overwhelm her talking too much so I'd try and keep it to a few messages every day or two. Keep the convo casual and relaxed. mention that you're looking forward to friday so you can call and set up a date at an amazing Mexican restaurant you know. This way she knows you just don't want a pen pal 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cbplayer Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 No red flags, you did great you don't want to overwhelm her talking too much so I'd try and keep it to a few messages every day or two. Keep the convo casual and relaxed. mention that you're looking forward to friday so you can call and set up a date at an amazing Mexican restaurant you know. This way she knows you just don't want a pen pal What are some good openers to use when starting conversations with her? Also, what are good openers to use on girls I've never spoken to before? I've tried a lot of different stuff but nothing works lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cbplayer Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 What are some good openers to use when starting conversations with her? Also, what are good openers to use on girls I've never spoken to before? I've tried a lot of different stuff but nothing works lol. Can someone please reply Link to post Share on other sites
Gotram Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Well, I don't really "prefer" dating apps such as Tinder but they're great if you want to play the numbers game. Got some hookups through Tinder so I will continue to use it. Anyway, I have one opener and one opener only and that's: Yes, I simply send girls I like a smiley face and that's it. Dont every text something after that! Some girls just send a smiley face back, text hi or don't answer at all. But what most girls do is send back and if you don't answer after that they'll start to write "hi" or "hey, whats up :)" or something. In other words, you've got them invested! Then you can start a little conversation and go for the number. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cbplayer Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 Well, I don't really "prefer" dating apps such as Tinder but they're great if you want to play the numbers game. Got some hookups through Tinder so I will continue to use it. Anyway, I have one opener and one opener only and that's: Yes, I simply send girls I like a smiley face and that's it. Dont every text something after that! Some girls just send a smiley face back, text hi or don't answer at all. But what most girls do is send back and if you don't answer after that they'll start to write "hi" or "hey, whats up :)" or something. In other words, you've got them invested! Then you can start a little conversation and go for the number. Can I get ideas or possibly a guideline on how to make openers? I tried the smiley and no girl has replied. I'd really appreciate help in this aspect of game because. It's extremely hard for me to get replies and it's becoming extremely frustrating. Wtf does it take to get these girls to ****ing reply?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author cbplayer Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 Can I get ideas or possibly a guideline on how to make openers? I tried the smiley and no girl has replied. I'd really appreciate help in this aspect of game because. It's extremely hard for me to get replies and it's becoming extremely frustrating. Wtf does it take to get these girls to ****ing reply?! This is my most serious and debilitating weakness when it comes to girls. I'd really appreciate it if I someone replies with some advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cbplayer Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 Can I please get advice? I am really losing my mind here and getting depressed over the constant reoccurring rejection that I am facing. I feel like my life is worthless.This is a genuine cry for help. Please help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cbplayer Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 Can I please get advice? OK really losing my mind here and getting depressed over the constant reoccurring rejection that I am facing. This is a genuine cry for help. Please help. Link to post Share on other sites
Rydo Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 Jeez, you need to be less desperate. No amount of rejection should make you depressed. Personally I wouldn't send just a smile as this makes them have to start the conversation but a simple hi, how are you is enough. It doesn't matter really as they will judge you on your appearance mostly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cbplayer Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 Jeez, you need to be less desperate. No amount of rejection should make you depressed. Personally I wouldn't send just a smile as this makes them have to start the conversation but a simple hi, how are you is enough. It doesn't matter really as they will judge you on your appearance mostly. I honestly don't know what to do. I'm a confident and masculine person but girls won't reply to me no matter what I do. This constant rejection over the years has made me depressed and desperate. If I can't get a girl to talk to me, how am I going to get married? So, since you said these girls on dating sites will judge me mostly based off my appearance, what kind of pictures should I be posting? Btw, I am having serious depression because this has been happening all my life in various forms and I'm 21. This is really affecting my my overall well-being and nobody is taking me seriously. I really need help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cbplayer Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 I am having suicidal thoughts and I've made various attempts to seek help but nobody wants to help. I really think I'm going to fatally harm myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cbplayer Posted December 26, 2014 Author Share Posted December 26, 2014 (edited) So, the aforementioned girl from POF asked for my number and I gave it to her. Her : hey its [to be withheld for privacy concerns] Her : Good morning [to be withheld for privacy concerns] Me : hey [to be withheld for privacy concerns]. Good mooring. How was your Christmas? (I texted her 12 minutes after she texted me ) It's been about 3 hours and she's yet to respond. Should I just forget about her? Edited December 26, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited to removed private information Link to post Share on other sites
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