texting a potential girl i like.

[Brandon_Fleury]

Hi guys/gals I'm Brandon. I don't know how else to put this but i really would like to be in a relationship , have a girlfriend to share life experiences with and genuinely enjoy life.

 

- So I'm a bit introverted(not to be confused with shy) but b/c of my retail job i have no problem talking with people that are new to me.

 

- **i have never been in a relationship**

 

- The Problem is that i have a hard time showing a girl i like,.. i like them, usually i'm always uncertain how to show them how much i like in front of other people since they are usually in my class. Like i'm self-conscious about it.

 

- So anyways to keep it short and not to lengthy, i managed to get number of this cute artsy girl in my class, and i know the whole thing about being over eager and desperate which i didn't realized i was coming off as until after i texted and saw how many i sent in so little time i guess.

 

- Here is a little recap of our texts:

 

12/6 10:04 a.m

Me:

Hey Ana I gotta be honest on the reason i got your number. Hope it isn't too much but let me know if you want to know.

 

12/6 3:10 p.m.

Girl:

Why would it be to much? stop being weird..

 

12/6 3:34 p.m.

Me:

Warning sort of long text: But that's me haha I'm not your typical guy. I promise i'm not like that all the time. Well i was gonna say something clever but i'll keep it simple, well upon meeting you i thought you were real cute but wasn't sure how dorky you were so to speak you seem real cool and i know i'm not the coolest guy in the world but i wanted to get to know you better you know. Um yeah so im bad at this kind of stuff honestly.

 

12/9 4:17 p.m.

Me:

So i guess it was too much I'm sorry.

 

12/9 4:31 p.m.

Girl:

No it wasn't to much.. don't worry.. I'm not gonna shun you.

 

12/9 6:53 p.m.

Me:

Worry?Me? No of coursenot Phew:lmao: <<(nervous laughter)

 

12/12 12:01 p.m.

Me:

Hey Ana are you free on Sunday or actually what days are you open next week if you'd be ok meeting up next week?!?

 

12/12 12:04 p.m.

Girl:

I work Sunday .. and i have to wait for next week's schedule to come out.

 

12/12 12:36 p.m.

Me:

Oki doki same i don't know mines either. Patient is a virtue remember that.

 

12/14 11:53 a.m.

Me:

Top of the morning to ya!. So my free days are Wednesday, Friday(surprisingly) and Sunday(I never work Sundays. I had a neat idea of something we could do if any of those days were ok. It involves Starbucks and Ice.

 

12/15 1:18 p.m.

Me:

Would it be cool if i call you cause i kinda prefer it over texting. Not now but like when available. I'm just more old school.

 

 

** That was the last text sent, now i'm thinking the text with the patience is a virtue was pointless to add on, i mean't it in regard to her schedule but she never replied. Since that was the last time she responded i thought that is why she stopped replying, and that;s why i asked if i could call her to clear up any confusion.

 

So the text i want to send to clear up any confusion goes like this:

 

"I want to say my bad on my texts I realized i came off as over eager after reread the text about "patience being a virtue". My apology that could come off as weird i didn't mean anything off it. I just thinkin your cute and honestly would like to get to know you better since we didn't talk in class much. I gues I just got a little excited?! I mean could you blame me your real cute."

 

-- mainly female opinions on what you say if a guy sent you that, and what should i do thanks!

Edited December 18, 2014 by Brandon_Fleury

[DivorcedDad123]

Do not text her back. The ball's in her court. She got the texts you sent already,and honestly,it sounded like it was going well until she stopped responding. Remember, she has to wait until she gets her new schedule before she can respond to your schedule.

DO NOT TEXT HER AGAIN until she responds. If she doesn't respond,you know where you stand and just leave it be.

[Brandon_Fleury]

aw ok i want to so bad cause i hope i wasn't coming on too strong, but i haven't so far since that was last friday since i asked her if she'd want to meet up and this last monday since i last texted her so i guess i'll just be patient till then.

 

the only thing is that i thought she'd know her schedule by now so now i'm not sure?!?

[clia]

I'm going to give you my honest opinion on these texts.

 

- Here is a little recap of our texts:

 

12/6 10:04 a.m

Me:

Hey Ana I gotta be honest on the reason i got your number. Hope it isn't too much but let me know if you want to know.

 

IMO, you should've just asked her out from the get go. This is an unnecessary, serious fluff text that has no place when you are getting to know someone. You don't have to get into all this explanation about why you got her number. And then the "let me know if you want to know" is kind of lame. This whole text shows you lack confidence. It's normal to lack confidence when you are younger and inexperienced, but you can fake it.

 

12/6 3:10 p.m.

Girl:

Why would it be to much? stop being weird..

 

You didn't leave her with much to say. How do you respond to such a serious text? And she is begging you to stop and just be cool.

 

[12/6 3:34 p.m.

Me:

Warning sort of long text: But that's me haha I'm not your typical guy. I promise i'm not like that all the time. Well i was gonna say something clever but i'll keep it simple, well upon meeting you i thought you were real cute but wasn't sure how dorky you were so to speak you seem real cool and i know i'm not the coolest guy in the world but i wanted to get to know you better you know. Um yeah so im bad at this kind of stuff honestly.

 

But you couldn't just stop and be cool. Don't send long texts like this. There is no reason for you to be spilling your guts about how you feel about her and what you think about her before you've even gone on a date with her. It's too much, too serious. And don't put yourself down!

 

12/9 4:17 p.m.

Me:

So i guess it was too much I'm sorry.

 

Yes, it was too much.

 

And ugh to the follow up text asking for forgiveness.

 

12/9 4:31 p.m.

Girl:

No it wasn't to much.. don't worry.. I'm not gonna shun you.

 

She's not going to shun you, but you've lost your chance at going on a date with her after that. I think this is where you lost her, not later on.

 

12/9 6:53 p.m.

Me:

Worry?Me? No of coursenot Phew:lmao: <<(nervous laughter)

 

Eek.

 

12/12 12:01 p.m.

Me:

Hey Ana are you free on Sunday or actually what days are you open next week if you'd be ok meeting up next week?!?

 

THIS should've been the first text you sent her.

 

12/12 12:04 p.m.

Girl:

I work Sunday .. and i have to wait for next week's schedule to come out.

 

I think you didn't have a chance by this point.

 

12/12 12:36 p.m.

Me:

Oki doki same i don't know mines either. Patient is a virtue remember that.

 

You should've just said "Great, let me know." I don't know what this "patience is a virtue" stuff is all about. Again, too serious.

 

12/14 11:53 a.m.

Me:

Top of the morning to ya!. So my free days are Wednesday, Friday(surprisingly) and Sunday(I never work Sundays. I had a neat idea of something we could do if any of those days were ok. It involves Starbucks and Ice.

 

You are trying too hard.

 

12/15 1:18 p.m.

Me:

Would it be cool if i call you cause i kinda prefer it over texting. Not now but like when available. I'm just more old school.

 

You say you are more old school...after you've sent her a zillion texts. It rings false. You should've just called her in the first place. You don't have to ask someone's permission to call them if they've given you their number.

 

I don't think you should text her again or call her. Her lack of response is her response -- she's not interested in going to Starbucks with you.

 

Overall, just ask the girl out. Don't explain why you got her number, why you think she' so cool, why you want to go out with her. Stop the long, emotional text messages. Just ask her (different her) out in the future.

 

"I want to say my bad on my texts I realized i came off as over eager after reread the text about "patience being a virtue". My apology that could come off as weird i didn't mean anything off it. I just thinkin your cute and honestly would like to get to know you better since we didn't talk in class much. I gues I just got a little excited?! I mean could you blame me your real cute."

 

-- mainly female opinions on what you say if a guy sent you that, and what should i do thanks!

 

Do not send this. Move on.

[Frank2thepoint]

Damn dude, you wrote a lot in your texts. Well every guy makes that mistake. Text messages are meant for succinctness. Stop trying to convey your personality over text. You can flirt, like calling her cute, but even that's a bit too much because you don't know beyond her physical looks. Only use it to secure a date, or get a woman on the phone to chat a bit and secure a date. You'll have time to express your personality on the date.

 

Don't text her anything at this point. Especially that long, wordy apology. In fact never send such a text to any woman. Wait a few days to a week in case she doesn't get back to you. Reach out to her with a simple "Hi. When are you free to go out with me for some pizza?" That's it. If she gives you "Oh I'm not sure" or "I'm busy" response, just tell her "When you figure out your schedule, let me know."

[Brandon_Fleury]

ok i read all y'alls responses and straightforwardness and conciseness is the way to go. thansk for the feedback.

 

Honestly do y'all think i would have a second chance if i i simply ask her out again(maybe next week), i know it is largely dependent on the girl, but i hope i didn't scare her which i'm thinking i did.

 

that's thing since i never been in relationship i'm not sure how much is too much or when to do this or that it's a horrible learning experience unfortunately.

[clia]

ok i read all y'alls responses and straightforwardness and conciseness is the way to go. thansk for the feedback.

 

Honestly do y'all think i would have a second chance if i i simply ask her out again(maybe next week), i know it is largely dependent on the girl, but i hope i didn't scare her which i'm thinking i did.

 

that's thing since i never been in relationship i'm not sure how much is too much or when to do this or that it's a horrible learning experience unfortunately.

 

Trust me, everyone goes through this learning experience. You should've seen some of the e-mails I sent when I was younger (we didn't have texting when i was your age). Eek! So don't worry about it.

 

Look, you really have nothing to lose by trying again next week. But if I were you, I would call her on the phone and just ask her out. Leave a voicemail if she doesn't answer that is quick and concise with a date and day. "Hi, I wondered if you'd like to *insert some activity* on *insert some day* or on another day that works for you. Let me know." And if she lets you know, great...if not...well, you are no worse off than you are right now.

[DivorcedDad123]

No. Do not ask her out again. Ball's in her court. You go on living life and keep your eyes peeled for someone else you might want to go out with.

If she's interested,she'll contact you.

[Brandon_Fleury]

thank you clia i may try just one more time(haha that makes me feel better though i know it couldn't be the worst thing that was ever sent to someone), sorry divorced dad , i will wait at least a week or so maybe a week and a half.

 

i agree it is in her court totally but i want to give it one more shot , i'm probably going to call her instead i think it is better so i can keep it short sweet and to the point.

 

Thank you all for your helps, if she doesn't respond before then i'll let you all know how it goes.

[Danda]

Okay here is my female opinion in bold:

 

 

12/6 10:04 a.m

Me:

Hey Ana I gotta be honest on the reason i got your number. Hope it isn't too much but let me know if you want to know.

 

Translation: I am ****ing terrified to pursue unless you give me a green light that practically melts my eyeballs when it goes off. If we were to date, I would probably spend the entire relationship waiting for you to give me permission to do things as simple as tell you what I am thinking.

 

12/6 3:10 p.m.

Girl:

Why would it be to much? stop being weird..

 

Translation: Just spit it out, christ. But I should phrase that in a nicer way. I'll add a smiley face to smooth it over.

 

12/6 3:34 p.m.

Me:

Warning sort of long text: But that's me haha I'm not your typical guy. I promise i'm not like that all the time. Well i was gonna say something clever but i'll keep it simple, well upon meeting you i thought you were real cute but wasn't sure how dorky you were so to speak you seem real cool and i know i'm not the coolest guy in the world but i wanted to get to know you better you know. Um yeah so im bad at this kind of stuff honestly.

 

Translation: **** she's probably thinking "just spit it out, christ" and now I'm super nervous. Okay let me apologize all over myself and tell you what kind of person I want to be, I mean what kind of person I am, instead of showing you. Not sure how much of a dork you are, just throwing that out there in case nobody insulted you yet today. Oh **** here comes my low self-esteem to sabotage everything, gotta talk down about myself a bit. Man this flirting crap is painful and scary as hell. Maybe I can smooth it all over with an LOL.

 

12/9 4:17 p.m.

Me:

So i guess it was too much I'm sorry.

 

Translation: Yeah I fumbled the **** outta that. But I'm used to self-sabotaging so just gonna roll with it. As a last resort I'm just gonna totally pathetic and apologize, maybe she'll feel sorry for me or something. All I know is that if she doesn't respond I think I might just die right here on this couch.

 

12/9 4:31 p.m.

Girl:

No it wasn't to much.. don't worry.. I'm not gonna shun you.

 

Translation: I don't even know what to say to all that, this is one of the most awkward conversations I've ever had. But I can tell you're a good person and I don't want to mean. I can also tell that you're probably about to have a meltdown, so I'm going to respond to you and be nice. But I'm also going to try not to show any signs of romantic interest in the hopes that you'll move on.

 

12/9 6:53 p.m.

Me:

Worry?Me? No of coursenot Phew:lmao: <<(nervous laughter)

 

Translation: No such luck! I wouldn't move on if you firebombed my living room. I've been putting myself through this torment for so long, and I've encountered way scarier girls than you.

 

12/12 12:01 p.m.

Me:

Hey Ana are you free on Sunday or actually what days are you open next week if you'd be ok meeting up next week?!?

 

Translation: Ana, I forgot that I should actually ask you out on a date. If I did you'd probably shoot me down, and deep down I know this. ****. I'm just going to straight to asking you which days you're off. ?!?!???!!!?

 

12/12 12:04 p.m.

Girl:

I work Sunday .. and i have to wait for next week's schedule to come out.

 

Translation: I don't want to date you, but you're not asking me that. I don't want to mean to you, though. I'm just going to tell you I'm busy on every day you ask for until you give up.

12/12 12:36 p.m.

Me:

Oki doki same i don't know mines either. Patient is a virtue remember that.

 

Translation: Some totally random, awkward stroke-like response because I just got shot down, I know it and it stings like a mother****er. But I'm still trying.

 

12/14 11:53 a.m.

Me:

Top of the morning to ya!. So my free days are Wednesday, Friday(surprisingly) and Sunday(I never work Sundays. I had a neat idea of something we could do if any of those days were ok. It involves Starbucks and Ice.

 

Translation: Sup Ana, so I know I still haven't even asked you if you want to try dating me or not, but I'm gonna keep throwing dates and times at ya.

 

12/15 1:18 p.m.

Me:

Would it be cool if i call you cause i kinda prefer it over texting. Not now but like when available. I'm just more old school.

 

Translation: Okay so I can see that you're moving from trying to be nice and avoid me, to just not responding at all. But I'm still not giving up, although there's a lot of blood accumulating on this brick wall and my forehead, so like if.. you could just talk to me.. that'd be great.

 

 

My advice to you, is that you need to do some introspection, and figure out what you have so little self-respect and self-esteem, such poor boundaries and are so desperate. Because you're probably a very sweet, intelligent dude but these hang-ups are killin ya. And if you keep beating your head against brick walls like this, eventually it's gonna wear you down and make you feel bitter and crazy, given enough time. But you don't want to lose this excited, romantic part of you. You just need to add some self-esteem, confidence and boundaries to it, and then you'll be good to go.

[MGX]

Forget her. She isn't interested in you.

[MGX]

My advice to you, is that you need to do some introspection, and figure out what you have so little self-respect and self-esteem, such poor boundaries and are so desperate. Because you're probably a very sweet, intelligent dude but these hang-ups are killin ya. And if you keep beating your head against brick walls like this, eventually it's gonna wear you down and make you feel bitter and crazy, given enough time. But you don't want to lose this excited, romantic part of you. You just need to add some self-esteem, confidence and boundaries to it, and then you'll be good to go.

 

He's never been in a relationship before, so he has to start somewhere. He's gonna be awkward at first, it's to be expected. In fact, I doubt that he thought he was doing anything wrong...

[lino]

This ship has long sunk. Forget about this girl, she has zero interest in you.

 

Next time don't send such long text messages.

[Brandon_Fleury]

thanks Danda for being honest , i probably needed it really. I know my approaches scream desperate, but i don't know i think it is something in me that really wants to have a relationship (due to me never having been in one). it is like wanting something so bad because you've never had it i suppose.

 

my confidence has gone up i guess, just not with girls i like sadly. i'm learning though and you all are being extremely helpful, giving me even more insight and more confidence for the next.

 

MGX thanks bro yeah it's a learning experience and i will i just want to give it one more shot, if not i will move on.

Edited December 19, 2014 by Brandon_Fleury

[bluestealth]

I definitely wouldn't text her again either. If you see her in person again see how she reacts to you and that should give you a good idea of things.

 

On another note, I'd be careful about having a username that identifies you and also posting full conversations verbatim. If that's your real name I'd stop using this account and create another one.

[Trenton100]

Texting sucks. You cannot win. If you say too little, nobody knows anything. Say too much and ADHD kicks in an its (gasp) too long.

 

 

I send long texts in order to be clear about my intentions. If a girl doesn't like it, then so be it. But make no mistake - my texting is of quality. I never use abbreviations and I make them interesting.

 

 

Funny how most girls list the 245 books they have read but a medium size text is too much to handle.

[guest569]

I think your approach was a bit odd. In future just say "hi, would you like to catch up on blah day at blah o'clock?" And if you want to call, then call!!

[Teraskas]

Sorry to say this, dude...but she's not into you.

It's an obvious indicator from the lack of responses on her end.

Especially after the last one where she said she was waiting for her next week schedule.

(With the exception of the text on 'not going to shun you' which was just her thinking 'WTF do I type in a response to this awkward conversation.')

 

My advice with the next girl you fancy would be to just walk up to her and get a conversation going. The same chance of rejection still exists, but you'll get your answer instantly instead of playing the waiting game for days via texts.