Am I Correctly Aiming For Girls In My Own League?

[contactadam2002]

PLEASE READ ALL OF THE POST BEFORE ADDING POSITIVE, NEGATIVE OR ANY OTHER COMMENTS.

 

Right, so I need to seriously get an answer here (I’m failing so badly at online dating and it’s really bothering and depressing me) and I feel this is the best way to get a more exact understanding by using the link provided below with a visual representation of girls I’m not into (my own opinion), girls I believe are in the same kind of league as me (and of which I can aim to go out with) and those that I believe to be out of my league (though not necessarily more attractive). And 'leagues' are of course controversial, but humour me here and assume that there is such a thing (dating sites seem so varied on this). If I had to rate myself then I’d see myself as a 6 or 6.5/10 (my pictures are included in the link), if others wish to then you can say whether you agree with this or not because my opinion needs to be assessed by others for me to understand if I’m being realistic or not (initially I was aiming too often for the girls on the right). So as not to get any bitchy complaints from people, I’m not going to say how I rate the others girls I’ve provided because it’s not fair to try rating them and I don’t necessarily see myself as being too good for them on the far left hand side either (but someone will no doubt find them attractive), but these types of girls are not attractive to me and I’ve dated one of them and the sex and relationship etc just made me feel bad for lying to them and myself. In the middle are pictures of girls (most or all of which I’m in the same league as and of which I would love to date because they’d get more beautiful with each passing day). Most pictures have two images of each person to give a more balanced viewpoint (providing more than one was available to use).

 

 

 

Incidentally before people start mentioning the importance of looks etc, they’re 50% for me, the girls on the left and right could have nice personalities (without stereotyping) but the one’s in the middle coupled with their looks I’d be perfectly happy with. I’ve only ever had the one girlfriend before but it was such a nightmare and I’ve never had interest from desirable women before or after so this is part of my quest to better find whats going wrong. I’d sooner date ‘Amy Farrah Fowler’ than I would Penny (Big bang theory). And I also forgot to mention all on the left have been the only women in the last few days to message me even though more attractive one’s (in my opinion- that are not pictured) have responded to my messages (albeit much earlier this year). I’ve only been online dating for a week again too.

Edited December 12, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[preraph]

I think you have made a good assessment of those girls who are in your league lookswise, and I liked your comment about they would get prettier each day.

 

I'm a little worried about you posting all those photos though. You know all those girls can do a google photo search and find everywhere their own photo turns up! It might not be good for them to see how you classify them and they might not like it for privacy reasons. I'm just saying if it were me, once I got any feedback, I'd see about taking off the link (you probably have to ask the board mods and not sure how that would go)

[StalwartMind]

Since you put up spike barricades to fend off anyone trying to give you some opinions about subjects you aren't that interested in, it's going to be hard for people to give you some really useful comments. You are asking if you are "correctly" aiming for the right girls, there really isn't a simple answer to that. Some will tell you, yeah you got it about right, others that you could probably rotate some of the women around, truthfully they all could be in your league, even the ones you think are above your league.

 

I know it's a strange concept, especially if one is very focused on looks like you are, but some girl you might find really beautiful and way out of your league, would absolutely love being with you because you have all the right traits she values. Likewise you could find some "below" your own league that would absolutely find you atrocious.

 

If you are just looking for confirmation that your are right in how you select potential dates, then really, if you feel someone looks in your league, then that's what they are. If you feel someone is above or below, then they are exactly that. I'm sure a lot of people would be greatly offended, but it doesn't really matter what anyone thinks. The only thing that is important is what you think and how you feel.

 

I couldn't put people in leagues like you do, but you know what, in no way does that mean you are in the wrong. We are all different and that's just how it should be. They all look like nice women, so approach whomever you are most attracted to and take things from there. Do what makes you happy and pursue whatever has the strongest attraction factor to you.

[contactadam2002]

I think you have made a good assessment of those girls who are in your league lookswise, and I liked your comment about they would get prettier each day.

 

I'm a little worried about you posting all those photos though. You know all those girls can do a google photo search and find everywhere their own photo turns up! It might not be good for them to see how you classify them and they might not like it for privacy reasons. I'm just saying if it were me, once I got any feedback, I'd see about taking off the link (you probably have to ask the board mods and not sure how that would go)

 

They'd never find these photos because how would they know what to look for to find them, I wouldn't? The photo is private except for those who can access this link. I could remove the link myself as I'm the one who added the photos and posted it but as I said, it's there for reference purposes.

 

I appreciate you saying that I'd judged this correctly in terms of 'the league', though I know there's no such thing as a right and wrong answer.

 

Since you put up spike barricades to fend off anyone trying to give you some opinions about subjects you aren't that interested in, it's going to be hard for people to give you some really useful comments. You are asking if you are "correctly" aiming for the right girls, there really isn't a simple answer to that. Some will tell you, yeah you got it about right, others that you could probably rotate some of the women around, truthfully they all could be in your league, even the ones you think are above your league.

 

I know it's a strange concept, especially if one is very focused on looks like you are, but some girl you might find really beautiful and way out of your league, would absolutely love being with you because you have all the right traits she values. Likewise you could find some "below" your own league that would absolutely find you atrocious.

 

If you are just looking for confirmation that your are right in how you select potential dates, then really, if you feel someone looks in your league, then that's what they are. If you feel someone is above or below, then they are exactly that. I'm sure a lot of people would be greatly offended, but it doesn't really matter what anyone thinks. The only thing that is important is what you think and how you feel.

 

I couldn't put people in leagues like you do, but you know what, in no way does that mean you are in the wrong. We are all different and that's just how it should be. They all look like nice women, so approach whomever you are most attracted to and take things from there. Do what makes you happy and pursue whatever has the strongest attraction factor to you.

 

Good answer, although I'm not focusing just on looks, however they're always going to be of some importance to everyone and it's mentioned often enough as either something that does or doesn't exist, but I'm glad this could be taken seriously and done without any disrespect to anyone. But I need these kind of answers.

[preraph]

To search for a photo, any photo, all you have to do is go to Google and put "google photo" and then follow directions. Lots of people know how. That's how you find out if people are catfishes, not who they say they are on line because it will go to every place that has a photo similar.

[contactadam2002]

To search for a photo, any photo, all you have to do is go to Google and put "google photo" and then follow directions. Lots of people know how. That's how you find out if people are catfishes, not who they say they are on line because it will go to every place that has a photo similar.

 

The photo was compiled from manual screenshots from undisclosed dating sites I'm on and then pasted into a blank photo, but the physical address for the picture is just a code of numbers now. The only way to find that photo is through any hyperlinks I provide, otherwise it's inaccessible because I marked it private and not public. If you were in those photos then typing your name would do nothing, google doesn't have face recognition software and even if it did there's no image stored on google. But I don't wanna deviate from the main question for others to answer.

[kolleamm]

The competition on online dating is steep so don't be surprised if you don't win the lottery for another decade or two. Anyways I have found that in the real world people don't have numbers to judge you by since the don't have a profile.

 

For example height, oh he's this tall but he's taller etc... In real life it's just ok he's tall cool I like him. When you meet women in the real world you also stand a better chance at showing them who you are and how you act as opposed to a few static 2D pictures.

 

The tone of someone's voice also creates attraction.

 

What I'm saying is all of the effort I see people put into OLD had they put that effort and concentrated all of it into the real life they would have had far better successes. OLD isn't exactly a free ride either as most people think, it weighs down your self esteem and makes you question your own self worth thus making you less likely to approach women in the real world.

[contactadam2002]

The competition on online dating is steep so don't be surprised if you don't win the lottery for another decade or two. Anyways I have found that in the real world people don't have numbers to judge you by since the don't have a profile.

 

For example height, oh he's this tall but he's taller etc... In real life it's just ok he's tall cool I like him. When you meet women in the real world you also stand a better chance at showing them who you are and how you act as opposed to a few static 2D pictures.

 

The tone of someone's voice also creates attraction.

 

What I'm saying is all of the effort I see people put into OLD had they put that effort and concentrated all of it into the real life they would have had far better successes. OLD isn't exactly a free ride either as most people think, it weighs down your self esteem and makes you question your own self worth thus making you less likely to approach women in the real world.

 

I agree to some extent with what you said, however I didn't wanna bloat my initial question with this fact....ahhhem;

 

In real life I can talk to women but have never had any interest shown in me in my life (I'm 26), without online dating I'd have nothing because I can keep a conversation going and they'll happily reply but nothing has or probably will ever come of it beyond a constant repeat of this occasional friendly chat. I can't even bear the thought of doing a singles night, maybe with a friend but definitely not alone.

[Danda]

Dude just go for whoever you can find attractive and gracefully pass up those whom you can't.

 

I get the impression that a lot of men think in terms of game plans and strategies, like all they need to do is follow the right directions to get predictable results, or keep fine tuning their strategy over time via trial and error.

 

While this mentality is perfect for battle, business, science, sports and so on, to some extent you have to accept that when dating, it's going to be a bit chaotic and unpredictable in many ways. You won't always be able to have a formula or a "right" way, or be able to measure things on scales, etc.

 

Sure to some extent it's a science, there have been some interesting research studies that are worth considering, but there is a lot of wiggle room and a significant chaos factor.

 

Sometimes you have to simplify it the **** down and chill. If you can't find a woman attractive, don't message her. If you could find a woman attractive if she has a good personality, or if you find her attractive upfront, message her. See what happens and roll with it.

[preraph]

The photo was compiled from manual screenshots from undisclosed dating sites I'm on and then pasted into a blank photo, but the physical address for the picture is just a code of numbers now. The only way to find that photo is through any hyperlinks I provide, otherwise it's inaccessible because I marked it private and not public. If you were in those photos then typing your name would do nothing, google doesn't have face recognition software and even if it did there's no image stored on google. But I don't wanna deviate from the main question for others to answer.

 

Not trying to just be argumentative, but yes, google does have photo recognition. It can search by her just uploading to the google image search her own photo and then it searches for likenesses across the web. It can use URL but doesn't require one if you upload a photo. Just saying. If you don't believe me, google "google image search," follow that link, hit on the camera icon and follow directions.

[Mirages]

but yes, google does have photo recognition.

I guess I learned something today preraph. I tried a photo upload with name, clear photo of a nobody who has a substantial facebook presence. It matched similar faces (out of billions) which were all similar but not the same person, even with a text name help and uploaded mugshot. So... Cool tool, but not quite up to speed, unless the person is a cyclops or something.

[preraph]

It does depend how good the photo is, but I think it works very well. I've put in a single shot and gotten back group shots with the person in it, etc.

[oldshirt]

I can't see any of the pictures you are talking about so I will just talk in generalities.

 

 

If you are really a 6/10, OLD is probably going to be very challenging for you and you will most likely have more success per time and energy spent if you pursue more traditional avenues of finding dates such as through friends, parties, shared activities, work etc etc

 

 

OLD works well for all but the ugliest women and for very good looking men. OLD does not work well for average and below men.

 

 

Women on OLD get bombarded by dozens if not even hundreds of hits a day and whether rightly or wrongly, they hold out for tallest and best looking and most successful men. Even women who's options are limited in the real world, feel they can score the best looking dudes on OLD.

 

 

Average guys who have social skills and good interpersonal skills and who aren't afraid to initiate conversations and get to know women in real life, are rarely without female companionship for long. However average guys on OLD often struggle and come up emptyhanded consistently in trying to meet suitable women based purely on pictures and txt.

[oldshirt]

double post

[NJ123]

I can't see any of the pictures you are talking about so I will just talk in generalities.

 

 

If you are really a 6/10, OLD is probably going to be very challenging for you and you will most likely have more success per time and energy spent if you pursue more traditional avenues of finding dates such as through friends, parties, shared activities, work etc etc

 

 

OLD works well for all but the ugliest women and for very good looking men. OLD does not work well for average and below men.

 

 

Women on OLD get bombarded by dozens if not even hundreds of hits a day and whether rightly or wrongly, they hold out for tallest and best looking and most successful men. Even women who's options are limited in the real world, feel they can score the best looking dudes on OLD.

 

 

Average guys who have social skills and good interpersonal skills and who aren't afraid to initiate conversations and get to know women in real life, are rarely without female companionship for long. However average guys on OLD often struggle and come up emptyhanded consistently in trying to meet suitable women based purely on pictures and txt.

 

This is so true. Women on OLD are extremely picky. Not a good place for men to look for a woman unless their very successful, tall, & very good looking. The rest pretty much have to compete with dozens of other guys just to even get a message from some of the women.

[contactadam2002]

Average guys who have social skills and good interpersonal skills and who aren't afraid to initiate conversations and get to know women in real life, are rarely without female companionship for long. However average guys on OLD often struggle and come up emptyhanded consistently in trying to meet suitable women based purely on pictures and txt.

 

My link got deleted for term violations. But I am average, but I'll depend on OLD because without it I can't for whatever reasons attract someone in real life. I can hold conversations well enough but it's no different that a woman talking to an acquaintance rather than a friend or someone she loves. I've been rejected every time in my whole life that I asked them facetoface as they never felt that way and only one or two have ever been a friend or like a friend to me which they lost interest in after a while.

[sillyanswer]

(my pictures are included in the link)

 

I'm guessing the link got removed by moderation.

 

If you're looking for feedback either about your looks or about how to improve your profile on a dating site then some of the dating sites have forums specifically for this. Certainly both OKCupid and Plenty of Fish have forums for this (it isn't always obvious where to find these from the main sites... but your favourite search engine will help you). Those sites are free, so even if your profile isn't on there already you could create a profile there and upload your pics and then ask people to give you feedback in their forums.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I can't see the pics.

 

In general, physical attraction is very predictable and rigid. Shockingly so, in fact.

 

I mean, many perfectly fine looking men have never been approached by a woman in their lives and people confine themselves to one race of persons when there are thousands of phenomenally attractive people in every race.

 

Women may go out with men who are significantly less physically attractive, but then it'll be like, "I wasn't attracted to him at first but he drew me in with his personality."

 

That does happen. But that takes a bit of a different approach and works much better outside of the world of bars/OLD/cold approach.

[contactadam2002]

Hehe...or perhaps I should say boohoo...well I'm only good for OLD and am apparently useless at that too so I guess I won't be getting them. But An average look girl can become more attractive to me in the end anyway.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Hehe...or perhaps I should say boohoo...well I'm only good for OLD and am apparently useless at that too so I guess I won't be getting them. But An average look girl can become more attractive to me in the end anyway.

 

Send me the links. PM me. I will let you know. I won't sugarcoat it.

[contactadam2002]

Much appreciated. That and any advice, comments or opinions will do fine.

[contactadam2002]

Send me the links. PM me. I will let you know. I won't sugarcoat it.

 

I am unable to send you a PM as I'm a new member.

[LookAtThisPOst]

The thing is though, there are others that believe in this kind of things and others that don't. I recall how someone would have their "last remaining sister" fending off the average looking guy that knew her since high school, but this woman would always being criticized for wanting some "GQ" kind of guy....of course, the rest of the women or relatives in the family, already married think their overly shallow sister should be more realistic in their expectations and date someone more equal to them in her own looks.

 

Some can see two people as being their "equal in looks".

 

For example, ugly people don't feel that they are ugly, when its obvious that they are ugly, but want someone that's a universally attractive. Obviously they haven't weighed themselves lately or looked in a mirror...but if they keep getting shot down by highly attractive people, they may want to consider dating their equal.

 

Since you put up spike barricades to fend off anyone trying to give you some opinions about subjects you aren't that interested in, it's going to be hard for people to give you some really useful comments. You are asking if you are "correctly" aiming for the right girls, there really isn't a simple answer to that. Some will tell you, yeah you got it about right, others that you could probably rotate some of the women around, truthfully they all could be in your league, even the ones you think are above your league.

 

I know it's a strange concept, especially if one is very focused on looks like you are, but some girl you might find really beautiful and way out of your league, would absolutely love being with you because you have all the right traits she values. Likewise you could find some "below" your own league that would absolutely find you atrocious.

 

If you are just looking for confirmation that your are right in how you select potential dates, then really, if you feel someone looks in your league, then that's what they are. If you feel someone is above or below, then they are exactly that. I'm sure a lot of people would be greatly offended, but it doesn't really matter what anyone thinks. The only thing that is important is what you think and how you feel.

 

I couldn't put people in leagues like you do, but you know what, in no way does that mean you are in the wrong. We are all different and that's just how it should be. They all look like nice women, so approach whomever you are most attracted to and take things from there. Do what makes you happy and pursue whatever has the strongest attraction factor to you.

[JohnnyRico]

Dude just go for whoever you can find attractive and gracefully pass up those whom you can't.

 

I get the impression that a lot of men think in terms of game plans and strategies, like all they need to do is follow the right directions to get predictable results, or keep fine tuning their strategy over time via trial and error.

 

While this mentality is perfect for battle, business, science, sports and so on, to some extent you have to accept that when dating, it's going to be a bit chaotic and unpredictable in many ways. You won't always be able to have a formula or a "right" way, or be able to measure things on scales, etc.

 

Sure to some extent it's a science, there have been some interesting research studies that are worth considering, but there is a lot of wiggle room and a significant chaos factor.

 

Sometimes you have to simplify it the **** down and chill. If you can't find a woman attractive, don't message her. If you could find a woman attractive if she has a good personality, or if you find her attractive upfront, message her. See what happens and roll with it.

 

So battle, business, science and sports are not in any way chaotic and unpredictable? Doesn't sound very accurate to me.

 

Women can just sit back, chill and see what happens in dating, the vast majority of men won't get very far with that sort of attitude though. They are expected to be proactive, and action is better if its planned.

 

 

 

 

I can't see any of the pictures you are talking about so I will just talk in generalities.

 

 

If you are really a 6/10, OLD is probably going to be very challenging for you and you will most likely have more success per time and energy spent if you pursue more traditional avenues of finding dates such as through friends, parties, shared activities, work etc etc

 

 

OLD works well for all but the ugliest women and for very good looking men. OLD does not work well for average and below men.

 

 

Women on OLD get bombarded by dozens if not even hundreds of hits a day and whether rightly or wrongly, they hold out for tallest and best looking and most successful men. Even women who's options are limited in the real world, feel they can score the best looking dudes on OLD.

 

 

Average guys who have social skills and good interpersonal skills and who aren't afraid to initiate conversations and get to know women in real life, are rarely without female companionship for long. However average guys on OLD often struggle and come up emptyhanded consistently in trying to meet suitable women based purely on pictures and txt.

 

I really don't think online dating is as bad as some guys make out. I think its more a case of guys hugely overestimating their own attractiveness. I'm below average looking, average height, unsuccessful in education/career terms and don't even own a car... I'm possibly not even a 4/10, let alone a 6/10. I still managed to go on dates with 7 women in 4 months.

 

How? I messaged lots of below average looking women.

 

 

 

 

This is so true. Women on OLD are extremely picky. Not a good place for men to look for a woman unless their very successful, tall, & very good looking. The rest pretty much have to compete with dozens of other guys just to even get a message from some of the women.

 

Again this is hugely exaggerated.. Yes you compete with dozens of guys, but there is nothing to stop you from messaging dozens of women.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Again this is hugely exaggerated.. Yes you compete with dozens of guys, but there is nothing to stop you from messaging dozens of women.

 

Hardly an exaggeration. This is speaking from a point of view of those who have messaged dozens of women during the course of their time on POF or OK Cupid.

Not to mention the disclaimers women who have put in their profiles, "This may sound harsh, but please understand that if I don't message you back, I am probably not interested."

 

Which even further reinforces the competition men will have with such a woman. Chances are she's not responding only because it's equivalent to a 2nd part-time job to farm out rejection emails.

 

 

It's a numbers game.

 

How? I messaged lots of below average looking women.

 

I did this just to see if I'd get responses. Messaged a few rather obese women to get my profile viewed, only to not get a response. lol. So if I'm going to get rejected, it might as well be from women I'm attracted to. lol

Edited December 13, 2014 by LookAtThisPOst