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Is destiny or 'the one' real?


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That's what I believed briefly in high school, but now I think it is complete BS. In my opinion, there is a small percentage of the population which one is compatible with. You just have to find someone from that percentage.

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In my opinion, no.

 

I think a person's romantic situation is always a combination of circumstance (what we can't control) and choices (what we can control), but never exclusively one or the other.

 

Then there are things we can like about a person upfront, and feelings we can't have with a person unless we go through certain experiences with them. So due to the latter, I don't think it's really possible for there to be someone out there who is already just perfect for you. Maybe lots of people with great potential for you. But I think part of it has to be created, which isn't a matter of fate.

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Forgive the morbid reply, but the idea that people are destined to be together is hard for me to believe. Think about cupid, or whatever it is out there making people fall in love, or deciding who is right for each other. Why does an entity with this power use it for something like romance? Spend some time on liveleak and you'll see so many awful things that go on in the world. Why doesn't this force/destiny, whatever it is, help starving children, rather than will people to be together? (Not trying to make anyone feel bad, just my opinion)

 

Even people who say "everything happens for a reason" confuse me, because I wonder why fate/destiny/etc, allows some girl to get asked to prom by her crush, and then some other kids get killed in a car wreck. Too much evil/negative things in the world for me to fathom how any of it could be pre-ordained. Even if it's for "the greater good" why is this force limited by that restriction? But I guess that is getting a bit off-topic. The world appears to function without evidence of anything like destiny/fate helping it along, so it's safe for me to assume it's all by chance. (again, just my opinion, I am not asserting this as fact or asking you to believe it)

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Is destiny a real thing? If two people are meant to be together, against all odds, will it become a reality? Is there a 'one' for everyone?
I feel your question is in the field of metaphysics, this field exists to evaluate qualities that are not easily proven, i.e. matters of religious, purpose in life, etc. So my answer bounces back, what do you believe?

 

Why doesn't this force/destiny, whatever it is, help starving children, rather than will people to be together?
While off topic, the first clue may be the value and extent of time. If our time was shrunk from 80 years down to seconds, then the suffering can be written off. As a child I often viewed a week like I presently view a month; as we age the perspective of time is gentler; who is to say that after we are expired, "A day is like a thousand years..." Claiming with a complex plan, or having an incomplete understanding of such, does not prove the absence of a God/creator. Just like me rambling further, may not prove his existence to you; partially because your freedom of thought is predestined. Hope that helps a little.
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I feel your question is in the field of metaphysics, this field exists to evaluate qualities that are not easily proven, i.e. matters of religious, purpose in life, etc. So my answer bounces back, what do you believe?

 

While off topic, the first clue may be the value and extent of time. If our time was shrunk from 80 years down to seconds, then the suffering can be written off. As a child I often viewed a week like I presently view a month; as we age the perspective of time is gentler; who is to say that after we are expired, "A day is like a thousand years..." Claiming with a complex plan, or having an incomplete understanding of such, does not prove the absence of a God/creator. Just like me rambling further, may not prove his existence to you; partially because your freedom of thought is predestined. Hope that helps a little.

 

I appreciate the reply, and am definitely open to other points of view, so please don't think of me as someone who is stuck in my way. I'm just one of those people that tend to be very grounded in reality, and have seen some bad stuff, which could have easily played out another way, had a force been in control. No reason for needless suffering, which happens all too often.

 

BUT... I better stop, because I don't want to hi-jack the thread any further. For what it's worth, I like to pretend there is someone out there for me, even though I know romance is chance.

Edited by shadow_stang
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My good friend met a guy.

 

From moment one they made out in a club, there was instant fire works and they are still together nearly 2 years later and they still cannot keep their hands off one another.

 

They felt instant fire works that turned out to have substance.

 

I think the one is when: you have natural romantic and sexual passion AND you end up being ultra compatible.........

 

They look like they only just met all the time - that is how much they adore one another, and not only are they best friends but they had fire works from day one chemistry wise.

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My good friend met a guy.

 

From moment one they made out in a club, there was instant fire works and they are still together nearly 2 years later and they still cannot keep their hands off one another.

 

They felt instant fire works that turned out to have substance.

 

I think the one is when: you have natural romantic and sexual passion AND you end up being ultra compatible.........

 

They look like they only just met all the time - that is how much they adore one another, and not only are they best friends but they had fire works from day one chemistry wise.

 

Sadly, while that kind of connection is the one we're all chasing, I do wonder just what percentage of people actually find it?

 

Is it the relationship equivalent of winning the lottery?

 

Do the OP, no I don't believe in "the one" per say. But I do believe the number of people you can have that kind of powerful connection with is extremely small.

 

Out of 1000 people, you might find one or two with that kind of connection. Dating, finding a mate.. it's all a numbers game.

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There's not "the one" and it's borne out by the statistics of how few people actually end up mated for life -- or mated at all. I'm pretty spiritual as far as believing some things carry over from past lives, etc., so at times it feels like there's destiny or some order, but long years of experience has told me that regardless that there might be some iota of pattern or purpose the madness, it doesn't add up to "the one" or "happily ever after."

 

The people who most seem to have found "the one" and have the long-term relationships that are mostly happy are people who probably could have been happy with any number of people because they have the optimum amount of natural happiness and flexibility to make a good marriage partner.

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