I can't take it anymore

[fratestar]

I am a 19 year old virgin who has never had a girlfriend and has only kissed a girl a few times. While you might be picturing me as a nerdy guy, I play football in college and play defensive end. I am 6'2 230 pounds and I have been told I am attractive but I am now beginning to doubt that. I have crippling anxiety about approaching girls and have no clue how to do it without looking like a desperate loser. I am very socially awkward and never know what to say to girls.

Being so inexperienced is especially difficult for me because of the people I hang out with and the environment in which I live. I live in an environment in which sexual triumphs are what makes you a man, what makes people want to talk to you and hang out with you. This means that not thinking about it is simply not possible. I can't figure out why girls just aren't attracted to me. I try and dress well, take care of my hygiene, and my physique. While I do have a little body fat on me I have more of a lean body type. However, getting laid seems like a puzzle I just can't put together and I don't get it. Can someone give me some advice?

[StalwartMind]

You would do best not labeling people in a stereotypical way, despite you are in an environment where exactly such is a dominant way of being. Plenty of "nerds" get laid more than people in your situation, especially because they can appeal to women in ways others can't fathom. I know this may be hard to understand for someone, especially when you are young and still learning.

 

Learn to become a "real" man and you will not have any problems attracting women eventually, however you are always welcome to be of the mindset and obsession to just get laid for the sake of getting laid because it'll score you popular points among your "bros". I pass no judgement either way, you can choose to act or be as you wish, but I will say you do yourself no favors by limiting your market by acting in a certain way.

 

I played football myself, that is what the rest of the world calls football and I was captain of my team in those years as well. I'm well aware of how others around me were, thought and treated others but I never saw myself give into group pressure of any kind, I simply did not care how others behaved or thought and nor should you. This may of made me have a different appeal, besides the fact of how most young adults/teens are fairly obsessed about looks, including yourself possibly. While looks are vital to most, don't be surprised at how many women are actually looking for someone whom can offer more than that.

 

There really could be tons of reasons as to why you have no magnet factor on women "yet", among them that you may be trying to go for the wrong kind. Open mind = more opportunities. Closed mind = limited. It's really that simple.

 

If none of above strike a chord with you, then perhaps you need to think of ways to up your game and beat everyone else, as you are in a competitive environment. I can't recall a single time in any sort of competitive environment where I've thought of giving up. I've just always had the composure to rise to any challenge even when the odds are faced against me, and in more cases than not I've exited in triumph. Despite that I do not feel superior or better than anyone else, but if you want to overcome something like this you are going through, then you need to strengthen your mentality. You too can rise above this attitude of " I can't take it anymore" and overcome it and any other challenges that are ahead of you.

 

Lastly because you do have a crippling anxiety about approaching women, this may be looked at as a weakness, but in reality it's an extremely real problem for many people. Sure it leaves you vulnerable, but in this vulnerability is where you must acknowledge you are different, and it's through this difference you can also learn to value other people and things. It's entirely possible to let yourself be vulnerable, yes even as a man, and find someone whom understands whom can make you overcome it eventually. So once again perhaps open your mind and even consider looking at meeting women in different environments.

[d0nnivain]

Getting a GF is different then getting laid. Which do you want?

 

 

As a football player, I'm fairly certain if all you want is to get laid, there is probably a willing coed somewhere because there are girls in college who would love to say they are dating a football player. If you can manage a smile, a hello & maybe do you want to dance at the next party you are at, I doubt you will have to do much more. Don't forget to use condoms to avoid STDs & pregnancy.

 

 

If you want a GF, you will have to learn to carry on a conversation. Talk to a coach on your team.

[fratestar]

It's not just peer pressure. I feel like there is something seriously wrong with me because of the people I hang out with who seem to have it easy. There aren't people actively pressuring me but I want to have sex and I just feel like such a loser when my friends have conversations about sex around me. I am pressuring myself. I should pressure myself because I am a 19 year old virgin and I feel like **** all the time because of it.