Not feeling too textual

[OwMyEyeball]

Coming onto these forums and sharing what's in my brain is sometimes arduous, not least because the connecting route between my brain and my fingers resembles a dusty, winding road. This is in sharp contrast to the broad superhighway that runs from mind to mouth & body - at least when I'm talking to someone in person. I'm an information fiend. When there's too little going on in my immediate surroundings I tend seize up. While typing out my thoughts and feelings to an audience that's really focused a lot on feelings it puts a real strain on that dusty road. Lots of words in a gridlock, yelling at each other, trying to make their way through as the mind keeps churning out thoughts and ideas. It's exhausting.

 

And it gets me to thinking: How well do you believe your writing (at least here) reflects your personality. The "you" you, not the "here's what I want you to see" you.

 

My textual persona was borne from academia and profession. The audience was often some pretty serious dudes so I had to convey myself in a concise and courtly manner. That usually also meant a very dry, pedantic prose. Very boring. Oh so f*cking boring.

 

That's made me a very reluctant texter or emailer when it comes to my personal relationships, because I have such a hard time detaching myself from the habit of writing like a professor instead of the person who I typically am. I have a tough time conveying emotion on this medium. And I also have a tough time pulling it off the screen. When I read some of the posts on here I wonder "Does this guy have Aspergers'?" but then go back and read some of my own posts and get to wondering "Am *I* an Aspie?" And of course the answer is a resounding "No. No you are not."

 

I'm an "in person" person. Phone comes second. Skype third (oddly enough, since while I'm on the phone I'm a voracious pacer ... tougher to do while on video without pissing off the caller). Email fourth and texting a distant 5th.

 

I tried what I could to just write out what came streaming from my scatter brain to give at least some notion of how I typically talk, but even this doesn't do me any justice since there's no gesturing or facial expressions or any of the millions of subtleties that text will never be able to capture. Sometimes I'll even break into (often bad) Irish, Scottish, English, Indian, French or German accents. Can't do that hier. It's just all so bizarre! And constricting.

 

So back to the original question: How do you see yourself vis-a-vis how you present yourself on LS? Accurate representation or something totally way off and whacky? Or even more different? Different in what way?

[GemmaUK]

I'm much more 'serious' on here than I actually am IRL.

 

 

I have silly moments on LS but generally not.

 

 

I like a bit of sarcasm as humour but I know that some people don't get it so I tend to avoid it.

 

 

My values are very important to me though so when serious I am serious.

 

 

I also don't even use text speak in texts..

 

 

I am not a texting fan. It's not for conversations in my view (but it appears to be expected from men in their forties in the UK so much in dating as well as daily calls - I like some time to miss the guy but it's not an option) and should be pretty much for saying a hello and meet plans.

[Dontfindme]

What an interesting topic.

 

I would be ecstatic if my writing naturally resembled that of a professor's, or anyone in academia. I struggle with that a bit.

 

I try to have texts resemble who I am. Here, it is obviously relative to the topic - the seriousness or lightheartedness.

 

But in general, my friends and I seem to get one another well via text and communicate well.

 

I think at this point, with some, I am better at expressing myself via text (not text messages, but writing it down) than actually expressing myself in person.

 

Jotting it down gives me a lot of time to reflect and fully express what I need to, whereas, in person it's hard to get it all out - there are plenty of other things to focus on, distractions, interruptions, etc. I think I need a lot more time for things to process, in person, which I feel I have through text.

 

Oh and emojis help too.

[StalwartMind]

I very much believe that whatever topic is at hand, directs your behavior and tone. Your overall personality is more than likely always reflected in how and what you write. As with most other things in our life, the true picture of how something is perceived is formed over a period of time. The more time you can dedicate to something, typically the more knowledge you will gain and the better your impression will be.

 

Whenever we read, or for that matter see, someone else express themselves we create an initial image in our mind of that person. Compare that to a sculptor who just put a new unrefined rock on his workbench. Slowly but surely he will start chipping away at the rock to portray the image he has in his mind. Much in the same way we establish impressions of what everyone says and does. If you pick a thread or post randomly and take things out of context, you might think that person is too stuck up, serious, boring, intense or whatever. In reality it's probably just a very small fragment of the personality of that person. Going back to the sculptor and talking about impression over time, he very well might be changing the expression of his creation. At first the new sculpture has a serious look, then it turns into a grieving one and so on and so forth.

 

I'm sure a lot of people on this forum and anywhere else really display a wide variety of emotions and leave different impressions all depending on the topic at hand. Overall I believe that the core of our personality will always shine through no matter what we are talking or writing about. One mistake we can do and probably all are guilty of at times, is label each other in a certain way, without having spend enough time on said person to really gain a justified impression.

 

Another important thing I feel that is very relevant to this discussion that perhaps will be overlooked by some, is that your cultural background will play an important role in how you perceive others. I've spoken to and experienced people from all over the world in many different situations. What may be meant as a good intention to a person in country X may be received as an offense in country Y. Now this may be putting things a bit simplistic, but that's purely to keep things short. I'm not a master of any language or culture, however from all the experience I've accumulated over my brief time on this planet, I do know that I don't judge others much until I really get to know them on multiple levels. I wish others would do this too but I feel that is perhaps a discussion for another time.

Edited November 23, 2014 by StalwartMind

[Omei]

I dont feel like my texting fits my personality it comes off strong and opinionated and im so much more than that

[FitChick]

I don't text. No patience for the tiny keys cuz I have to wear my reading glasses and I make too many typos.

[MissBee]

Coming onto these forums and sharing what's in my brain is sometimes arduous, not least because the connecting route between my brain and my fingers resembles a dusty, winding road. This is in sharp contrast to the broad superhighway that runs from mind to mouth & body - at least when I'm talking to someone in person. I'm an information fiend. When there's too little going on in my immediate surroundings I tend seize up. While typing out my thoughts and feelings to an audience that's really focused a lot on feelings it puts a real strain on that dusty road. Lots of words in a gridlock, yelling at each other, trying to make their way through as the mind keeps churning out thoughts and ideas. It's exhausting.

 

And it gets me to thinking: How well do you believe your writing (at least here) reflects your personality. The "you" you, not the "here's what I want you to see" you.

 

My textual persona was borne from academia and profession. The audience was often some pretty serious dudes so I had to convey myself in a concise and courtly manner. That usually also meant a very dry, pedantic prose. Very boring. Oh so f*cking boring.

 

That's made me a very reluctant texter or emailer when it comes to my personal relationships, because I have such a hard time detaching myself from the habit of writing like a professor instead of the person who I typically am. I have a tough time conveying emotion on this medium. And I also have a tough time pulling it off the screen. When I read some of the posts on here I wonder "Does this guy have Aspergers'?" but then go back and read some of my own posts and get to wondering "Am *I* an Aspie?" And of course the answer is a resounding "No. No you are not."

 

I'm an "in person" person. Phone comes second. Skype third (oddly enough, since while I'm on the phone I'm a voracious pacer ... tougher to do while on video without pissing off the caller). Email fourth and texting a distant 5th.

 

I tried what I could to just write out what came streaming from my scatter brain to give at least some notion of how I typically talk, but even this doesn't do me any justice since there's no gesturing or facial expressions or any of the millions of subtleties that text will never be able to capture. Sometimes I'll even break into (often bad) Irish, Scottish, English, Indian, French or German accents. Can't do that hier. It's just all so bizarre! And constricting.

 

So back to the original question: How do you see yourself vis-a-vis how you present yourself on LS? Accurate representation or something totally way off and whacky? Or even more different? Different in what way?

 

 

I'm also steeped in academia but the way that I type here reflects how I speak informally. The way I write on forums is a style of writing that mimics speech for me. Example: the use of ellipses for me in my forum posts is to convey a pause that would be heard in a face to face or phone conversation, whereas academically I don't use ellipses outside of their proper use. I also wouldn't use particular kinds of colloquial expressions or certain abbreviations that I use here. I guess (even saying this, I say this in speaking not formal writing ) I also grew up in the age when instant messaging became a thing and now there is lots of social media, so I have gotten used to being able to be textual in a more informal way that mimics informal speech.

 

In that sense I think my writing here reflects my personality. Depending on the topic I may write in a way that is more formal and less personable than other times. It's a forum with discussion topics so that in itself is a little different than say how I informally text or informally email friends as our conversations aren't generally a format of weighing in on a particular question/issue in the same way it is done on a discussion board. How I type here is one aspect of my personality, I suppose it's informal but informal in the context of how I'd informally speak to strangers or in a group setting. I also have said before that with the anonymity of message boards I think most of us give advice in a less nuanced and a bit drier way, which isn't our fault but simply because we don't know people personally so can only say so much and have no emotional attachment to them. I know some stuff I advise here, while it would be the same advice to my real life friends, it would be worded a little differently and probably more warmly in some cases, simply because I know them and have a real friendship with them so how you handle the feelings of people you know, have a relationship with and are seeing face to face is different from the way you give advice on a message board of people you don't know.

 

How I message friends though it's an even more informal style, more reflective of my personality in the sense that I'm not really trying to convey particular points or weigh in on something so it's an even more relaxed type of "speech-to-text", it's more intimate and I also speak another language and when I'm speaking to my family some of my friends I use the informal version of that language as it's my most intimate tongue so to speak. It's funny because I'll be talking to my friends in what they consider my "normal" way of speaking and then my mom or sister calls and I answer and it's a total code switch. And that switch for my family is my normal when I talk to them. I think code-switching is really valuable and most of us do it in one way or another and cater our writing or actual speech for our audience and setting.

 

I think one's personality cannot be completely erased in text, be it formal or informal. It may not express the full range of who you are but there is some persistent quality to it. I mean there are folks here where I know their writing style so if I read their post I can tell it's them even if no name is attached and no specific details. Likewise some folks change their screen names and resurface and even if they try to tell a different tale often their style of writing is a dead giveaway and signature that it's them...so some "personality" (I guess one could argue about whether or not it is just a cyber one or is also how the person is offline) exists. Frankly, I think if my real life friends were to come on to LS and read through posts without screen names as clues or certain specifics which could tie back to me, and were asked to guess which posts were mine they would be able to identify me correctly most likely. It happened to me once on another forum where one of my friends asked me if I participated on XYZ forum because the person typed just like me.

Edited November 25, 2014 by MissBee

[Frank2thepoint]

So back to the original question: How do you see yourself vis-a-vis how you present yourself on LS? Accurate representation or something totally way off and whacky? Or even more different? Different in what way?

 

I present myself sexy. Which is more or less accurate in an inaccurate degree. What I am is no representation of what I am not, as what I am not might be similar to what I am. There is no black or white, just color.