fratestar Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 (edited) I'm 19 and a freshman in college and I'm a virgin and have never been on a date. I play defensive end on the football team here but I have just realized that sports have been the sole reason why I have any friends. I have a good group of guy friends and a few female friends even. The problem is that I simply have no clue how to get a girlfriend or even how to hook up with a girl. I am so inexperienced and embarrassed about this but I don't think there is much I can do because I will need to change my entire attitude and outlook to even consider having sex in the near future. It is so painful and embarrassing when all your friends seem to have such an easy time doing something that is so extraordinarily difficult for me. I feel like there is something seriously wrong with me. Whenever my friends talk about girls and sex in front of me I either leave, put in headphones, or simply deal with the anxiety and jealousy that comes with it. I have been crippled by social anxiety and awkwardness for most of my life, which means that asking girls out or just asking them if they want to hook up has always been an event that I have to spend hours or even days working up the courage to do. I have never not been rejected so I have no clue what it feels like to hear a girl say yes. I'm not sure whether I'm ugly or not but people have told me I'm attractive, however, at this point every time I hear that it comes in one ear and goes out the other. Maybe I'm not smart enough to figure it out or that part of my brain hasn't developed but when I say I don't know I mean I literally have no clue how it works. Romance might as well be nuclear physics because I have no clue how to do it. Don't know the logistics of it or any of the methods people use. Have no clue. I can't ask people because they won't know how to explain it. My dad never taught me but people without fathers can still get girls. I just don't have whatever it is and for the life of me I cannot figure it out. My friends tell me to put myself out there but I have never seen my friends going around getting rejected over and over again until they find the right girl. Can someone please help figure this **** out? Edited October 29, 2014 by fratestar Link to post Share on other sites
Dontfindme Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Is there a specific girl that you like? I feel that if there is one specific person, instead of just girls in general, it may be more motivating for you to put yourself out there for her. Confidence is the most attractive feature anyone can have. So eventually you will have to make a move, unless you want to wait around for a girl to approach you - which may or may not happen. Also - if you do try to talk to girls, romantically, it's nice to have interests, and topics to talk about. I'd keep that in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Talk to the girls in your class. If you like one, ask her to do something with you, like go to a party, see a movie, attend something on campus or even study Link to post Share on other sites
Author fratestar Posted October 29, 2014 Author Share Posted October 29, 2014 The motivation is to have sex. I know what everyone is about to say but I'm 19, I haven't had sex but spend a considerable amount of time in a football locker room. I bet you can understand why that would make me feel like ****. I go to parties but have no clue how to approach a girl. A girlfriend would be nice but right now my main motivation is sex. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 If you are giving off a vibe that all you want is sex & you really don't care about the girl, very few girls are going to want to spend time with you. Shift your priorities. Get a date 1st. Then worry about sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fratestar Posted October 29, 2014 Author Share Posted October 29, 2014 Very few of my friends have girlfriends but still have sex almost every weekend. So clearly I don't need to get a date first. I need to get rid of this V card. Number one priority. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fratestar Posted October 29, 2014 Author Share Posted October 29, 2014 I also have no clue how to take a connection to the next level. I have no clue how to make a move. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 If there is a girl you like in a class, ask her to study with you, then talk to her. If there is a girl you like a party, ask her to dance. Talk to her. Get a #. Call her for a date. There's no magic. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Very few of my friends have girlfriends but still have sex almost every weekend. So clearly I don't need to get a date first. I need to get rid of this V card. Number one priority. Chances are half of them are lying, the other half are very attractive guys or just banging easy girls. Try focusing on meeting a girl you like opposed to just losing your VCard. Learn how to be more comfortable interacting with women now while you're still young so you're not back here at 30 and still a virgin. Link to post Share on other sites
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