irc333 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I know this married woman, early 40s, married in her early 20's, so married 20 years with a 17 year old child. The man she was with was the only man she's ever been with...in her life romantically...since high school. She's pretty much the only married regular of the social club and a lot of her female friends are single....oh the tales she hears makes her NOT envy the single people. The games, the fickleness, anything that's posted on these forums, lol....make her cringe. (no she doesn't read these forums). It was kind of a first to hear from a married person this kind of perspective. Someone that is thanks Do you know any married people that don't envy us singles? Usually it's the other way around, that married people usually DO envy singles. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
intricate Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I'm only engaged but I'm not envious of single people. If anything, a lot single people that my fiance and I hang out with are envious of the relationship we have together. Oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Do you know any married people that don't envy us singles? Usually it's the other way around, that married people usually DO envy singles. Yes, I know lots of happily married couples. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Yes, I know lots of happily married couples. Same. (10 characters) Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Yes, I know lots of happily married couples. Same. (10 characters) Me too .................. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I too know many happily married couples (count me in their number) - and many more who are not so happy and wouldn't mind being single again. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Me too and I'm one of them ! Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I don't know any married or coupled-up people (myself included) who envy single people. If they did, they could become single easily enough. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Whoops, I posted at the same time as someone else and my reply is now out of context. What I meant to say was that whether I was married or single I was happy to be me and never envied anyone else. Whatever your status there are still problems and challenges to overcome... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I know more happily (and therefore not envious of the singles) married couples than not. It's actually very strange to me that you found her perspective unusual/uncommon.. It certainly shouldn't be that way. Sure my friends sometimes enjoy my stories of singledom, but not one so gle one of them is envious or would trade places with me for anything. Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Do you know any married people that don't envy us singles? Usually it's the other way around, that married people usually DO envy singles. I've never heard anyone say this before. I don't know if I've ever known a married person that was envious of singles. I've known many who's marriages didn't work out and they got divorced due to not getting along with their spouse for a myriad of reasons but I've never known a soul that just simply didn't like being married and wanted to be single again. It's probably happened I'm sure but I don't know any personally. As for myself, I'll be married 19 years next week, and while I enjoyed many aspects of single life and didn't marry until I was 31 years old, I don't envy single life at all and never have. Sure, it's easy to remember back to days of freedom and few responsibilities but in western culture, marriage is a conscious choice and people who leave their single life behind, do so willingly. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted October 21, 2014 Author Share Posted October 21, 2014 Well it was more like" Thank heavens I'm married, from the stories of grief I keep hearing from my single friends. ..from players to the mind games...she thanks her lucly stars she's been married. She makes it sound like you're better off being married than being single. But I've heard even MORE of my share of nightmare marriaged and divorces than I can shake a stick at. Don't get me wrong as I've been witnessed to happy select marriages though. I know more happily (and therefore not envious of the singles) married couples than not. It's actually very strange to me that you found her perspective unusual/uncommon.. It certainly shouldn't be that way. Sure my friends sometimes enjoy my stories of singledom, but not one so gle one of them is envious or would trade places with me for anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted October 21, 2014 Author Share Posted October 21, 2014 ....I've also had heard from married people, upon finding out I'm single, "Good! You're single! Whatever you do. ...Do NOT get married! " Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I haven't met anyone, man or woman, who doesn't wish they had what my husband and I do. Conversely, I've not met a single person who is worth my envy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 All of my friends and family are married (other than my 23 year old) and none envy single people. Even the men I date want to be married again. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 There really aren't many married people who are excited to go back to being single. The ones who are more often just want to be able to do their own thing. They aren't thinking of dating. They just want space and freedom. The ones who want to date generally already have their eye on someone and want to date that person. They all know from memory and from the stories they hear that the dating pool is really not fun. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 There are a number of people who are perfectly content being single and have no real desire to get married. Those people typically don't marry. In this time and culture, people who do marry typically want to and make the conscious choice to do it so there really isn't a reason to envy it. There are many people who go through disastrous marriages and bloody divorces and still come away from it wanting to marry again some day. And of course there are some that say 'never again' as well.....but even some of them end up marrying again later on down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I would never want to go back into the dating world with what I see. I am very happy in my marriage though I know many miserable ones. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I know LOADS of very happily married couples! I have had very 'different' relationships in my life...maybe that is a part of it. My best RS's (3) were where we each had our own and joint hobbies and interests. The sex life was...great.. We were best friends. The other RS's (3) side was..any time that was mine was not mine and I should be there for him. I wore the wrong things..eg earrings. I did the wrong things all the time. I didn't text hello the 'moment' I woke up (yes really) and I found it tough having a two hour call each night 7 days a week as ...I had nothing to say. I also couldn't go on a night out and be OK not to text through the whole damn night. Grrr! I wasn't expected to be 'me' and I was expected to behave the same way as their ex's did. This just makes me realise I would love to meet a guy who isn't a judgemental insecure control freak! Anyone who fits this, please apply on a postcard to: Gemma UK In her living room UK 2 Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 there is a woman i work with, she is 34, and she always comments on what a horrible life i must have because i am single. she lived at home until she got married (age 24) and then moved right in with the husband after the wedding, so she has never, not once, lived alone, traveled alone, or gone anywhere alone. she is even one of those women that needs a bathroom buddy or she won't get up and go alone. not saying she is representative of any other person, but in her case her personality (completely dependent and afraid to be alone), makes her situation one that she loves and she doesn't understand how i can live alone with 'noises in the house' and 'things to be fixed' etc. she has never had freedom and independence (her own choice i guess), so for her being in a couple/family is very normal and being alone is not something a woman should want. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Most if the married people I know! At least 95%! Sure everyone has tiffs here and there but I can't think of many people that'd trade in there marriage! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I think it would be fair to say that being single and being married both carry advantages and disadvantages and when married life is wearing you down, single life looks good and when single life is wearing you down, a stable married life sounds good. It's so up to each person what is the best fit for them and is balanced on so many factors, like how much other support you have in friends and family and your employer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 ...when married life is wearing you down, single life looks good... I'm not sure about that so much. It seems when a marriage isn't going so well, people still hang on for dear life often because there is nothing they want less than to have to go be single again. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I would prefer single over a bad marriage, but no way would I prefer it over a good marriage. I can't think of even one way my life would be better without my husband. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I would prefer single over a bad marriage, but no way would I prefer it over a good marriage. I can't think of even one way my life would be better without my husband. This is how I feel. I would not prefer being single over my marriage but would certainly prefer over most marriages I have seen. Link to post Share on other sites
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