PurplePanther Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 (edited) This is my first post on these forums. About 2 years ago, I met a girl who was visiting my work-place from a different city. We met at work almost every day, and became friends. I soon found myself inexplicably happy in her company. One day, shortly before she left, I proposed that we 'go out', although I did not explicitly call it a date. She happily agreed, and I gave her a tour of my city - we walked a lot, talked a lot, and had dinner together. (It was the first time we had met outside of work.) She left a few days after that. In the last 2 years, we found ourselves in the same city once more, and on that occassion we met, had lunch together, and generally caught up. Apart from this, we have generally kept in touch via messages, and talked on the telephone a few times. The messaging itself however, developed a strange pattern, which is the focus of this post. In short - whenever I message her, she messages back, and then we exchange a few more messages and sometimes photos, keeping each other in touch with our lives. However, she almost never messages me herself, without me initiating the conversation. Please read the following paragraph before replying. By itself, this is of course not unusual at all - a typical sign that she's not interested. However, there is a complicating factor here. Every time I went a few weeks without messaging her, she would send me a message on the lines of "Have you forgotten all about me? Are you still alive? Are you too busy to talk to me? Why don't you message me anymore?". And so on! And I find this utterly and completely inexplicable, because as I mentioned before, despite me messaging her often, she will almost never initiate a conversation herself, apart from the above 'panic' messages! I am not really asking the question - 'Is she interested in me?'. This is because I'm fairly convinced that she is not. (I am, of course, interested in her.) However, what do you folks think of this strange messaging behaviour? What might it mean? I can't seem to find any way to explain it! Edited October 19, 2014 by PurplePanther Link to post Share on other sites
notyouraveragebabe Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 This is my first post on these forums. About 2 years ago, I met a girl who was visiting my work-place from a different city. We met at work almost every day, and became friends. I soon found myself inexplicably happy in her company. One day, shortly before she left, I proposed that we 'go out', although I did not explicitly call it a date. She happily agreed, and I gave her a tour of my city - we walked a lot, talked a lot, and had dinner together. (It was the first time we had met outside of work.) She left a few days after that. In the last 2 years, we found ourselves in the same city once more, and on that occassion we met, had lunch together, and generally caught up. Apart from this, we have generally kept in touch via messages, and talked on the telephone a few times. The messaging itself however, developed a strange pattern, which is the focus of this post. In short - whenever I message her, she messages back, and then we exchange a few more messages and sometimes photos, keeping each other in touch with our lives. However, she almost never messages me herself, without me initiating the conversation. Please read the following paragraph before replying. By itself, this is of course not unusual at all - a typical sign that she's not interested. However, there is a complicating factor here. Every time I went a few weeks without messaging her, she would send me a message on the lines of "Have you forgotten all about me? Are you still alive? Are you too busy to talk to me? Why don't you message me anymore?". And so on! And I find this utterly and completely inexplicable, because as I mentioned before, despite me messaging her often, she will almost never initiate a conversation herself, apart from the above 'panic' messages! I am not really asking the question - 'Is she interested in me?'. This is because I'm fairly convinced that she is not. (I am, of course, interested in her.) However, what do you folks think of this strange messaging behaviour? What might it mean? I can't seem to find any way to explain it! Coming from a woman perspective she doesn't sound like she is very interested. Probably because you are not tangible or could be for any reason. Long distance isn't for everyone. If a woman was interested she will call, text, and would want to see you. Sounds like you are doing these things and she is not reciprocating. Sometimes when men text me too much I label them "#annoying" "#desperate" "#thirsty" "#nobodywantshim" and I don't ever want to date them. I figured if he's bugging me this early on he's going to bug me even more if we were official. Personally, I text men back to be polite and nice. My co-worker has a thing for me right now and I am not even the slightest bit interested. He texts me first all the time and I just respond because 1. he's nice 2. I work with him 3. I'm bored. I send snapchats to men too just to get my ego up. Hey, don't judge me- I like compliments. If I liked him I would text him and engage, give him hints that I want to spend time with him outside of work or I would just ask him because clearly he's interested in me. Sorry, she's just not that interested. If you want closure then be bold and tell her how you feel. At least you will finally know instead of wonder. I wouldn't because 1. you will scare her off 2. get rejected 3. get ignored 4. OR maybe she might tell you " I want to be with you, but you live too far" (could be a nice little excuse) 5. Lastly, she might just say sorry I met someone else or some random excuse why she can't date you. Stop texting her and see if she reaches out. I wouldn't wait. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PurplePanther Posted October 20, 2014 Author Share Posted October 20, 2014 (edited) Coming from a woman perspective she doesn't sound like she is very interested. Probably because you are not tangible or could be for any reason. Long distance isn't for everyone. If a woman was interested she will call, text, and would want to see you. Sounds like you are doing these things and she is not reciprocating. Sometimes when men text me too much I label them "#annoying" "#desperate" "#thirsty" "#nobodywantshim" and I don't ever want to date them. I figured if he's bugging me this early on he's going to bug me even more if we were official. Personally, I text men back to be polite and nice. My co-worker has a thing for me right now and I am not even the slightest bit interested. He texts me first all the time and I just respond because 1. he's nice 2. I work with him 3. I'm bored. I send snapchats to men too just to get my ego up. Hey, don't judge me- I like compliments. If I liked him I would text him and engage, give him hints that I want to spend time with him outside of work or I would just ask him because clearly he's interested in me. Sorry, she's just not that interested. If you want closure then be bold and tell her how you feel. At least you will finally know instead of wonder. I wouldn't because 1. you will scare her off 2. get rejected 3. get ignored 4. OR maybe she might tell you " I want to be with you, but you live too far" (could be a nice little excuse) 5. Lastly, she might just say sorry I met someone else or some random excuse why she can't date you. Stop texting her and see if she reaches out. I wouldn't wait. Did you even read my fourth and fifth paragraphs? My original post was NOT about whether or not she's interested in me. (This is clearly stated in the last paragraph.) My original post was about a possible explanation for her 'panic' messages. Your answer did not discuss her 'panic' messages at all - thus entirely missing the point of my post, addressing a question I never asked, and being generally completely irrelevant. Thanks anyway! Edited October 20, 2014 by PurplePanther Link to post Share on other sites
notyouraveragebabe Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Did you even read my fourth and fifth paragraphs? My original post was NOT about whether or not she's interested in me. (This is clearly stated in the last paragraph.) My original post was about a possible explanation for her 'panic' messages. Your answer did not discuss her 'panic' messages at all - thus entirely missing the point of my post, answering a question I never asked, and being generally completely irrelevant. Thanks anyway! This thread is irrelevant. She's just not interested, who cares why she panicked?! I would panic too if I a persistent guy bugging me and I'm not giving a f**K. She's not giving 2 s**ts about you, why you stressing over it? Move on! Link to post Share on other sites
Author PurplePanther Posted October 20, 2014 Author Share Posted October 20, 2014 (edited) This thread is irrelevant. She's just not interested, who cares why she panicked?! I would panic too if I a persistent guy bugging me and I'm not giving a f**K. She's not giving 2 s**ts about you, why you stressing over it? Move on! If a persistent guy were bugging you and you were not giving a f**k, would you panic by messaging that same guy, begging him desperately to please bug you more? Probably not. But she has been doing exactly that, over and over again, for the past 2 years. That's why it's so strange. Thanks. Edited October 20, 2014 by PurplePanther Link to post Share on other sites
notyouraveragebabe Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 If a persistent guy were bugging you and you were not giving a f**k, would you panic by messaging that same guy, begging him desperately to please bug you more? Probably not. But she has been doing exactly that, over and over again, for the past 2 years. That's why it's so strange. Thanks. She sounds like she has issues. I wouldn't even want to date this girl. Sounds crazy psycho to me. Leave her alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PurplePanther Posted October 22, 2014 Author Share Posted October 22, 2014 Any other perspectives on this? Link to post Share on other sites
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