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Thinking about starting a FWB


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Lady luck swung my way last night at the bar and I went home with a woman. I was obviously happy because I got some but I must admit it was an ego boost for me as well. She was very complimentary, said I was very good looking, was shocked I didn't have a gf. I don't mean to sound egotistical but if you don't know my history, I'm almost 33 and have had almkst no success with women, I'm very insecure in general but moreso with women.

 

That being said, she's in her late 40's so dating is out. However, we both seem to be in the same "state" as we're both very lonely right now. Also, aside from shyness, the fact that most women my age want kids marriage or both add to a huge roadblock in dating for me since I don't know if I'll ever get married or have kids. Although I do hope deep down inside that I can meet a woman whom I'm ultracompatible with, I'm just affaid it will never happen.

 

I think this could be a good thing for me for the time being but I don't want to hurt her or get hurt myself. This is always the big dilema when it comes to this. Also, I never seen myself doing the fwb thing. My sexual views are middle of the road IMO. That being said, at my age I have had sex 7 times in my entire life, 5 before last night so I don't think this will "tarnish" my record and I can gain some more experience too.

 

Opinions and suggestions welcomed.

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sdrawkcaB ssA

You are in a better position than I when I started being sexually active at 30.

 

Though, if you don't over think things and keep expectations low if anything, an FWB will work for you. Remember your not dating, nor expected to have attachment. Since she is older, I am sure she will be driving you to where she wants to go. No, you're not going on road trips, unless it is to a hotel or something. Hehehehee!!!

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That being said, at my age I have had sex 7 times in my entire life, 5 before last night

 

She was so good that you counted her as two?

 

I don't think that two rounds counts as two sexual experiences... but that's beside the point I guess.

 

I think that if you like her and are attracted to her then you should probably keep seeing her, that is if both of you feel good about it. But I don't understand why you'd think that her being older than you obviates any possibility of dating. Why don't you just be real, open and genuine? Here's a chance to share the essence of your two beings, to grab the brass ring so to speak... do you think perhaps that the fear of doing that could be correlated to your dearth of prior experiences?

 

Here you are faced with the chance to live fully or run back to the stands and resume being a spectator... and you're making up excuses guised as concern for her age and making sure nobody gets hurt. I got news for ya man; joy and pain are opposite sides of the same coin. You've got a certain number of days to experience them and it's over. Or you can sit the whole thing out.

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Lady luck swung my way last night at the bar and I went home with a woman. I was obviously happy because I got some but I must admit it was an ego boost for me as well. She was very complimentary, said I was very good looking, was shocked I didn't have a gf. I don't mean to sound egotistical but if you don't know my history, I'm almost 33 and have had almkst no success with women, I'm very insecure in general but moreso with women.

 

That being said, she's in her late 40's so dating is out. However, we both seem to be in the same "state" as we're both very lonely right now. Also, aside from shyness, the fact that most women my age want kids marriage or both add to a huge roadblock in dating for me since I don't know if I'll ever get married or have kids. Although I do hope deep down inside that I can meet a woman whom I'm ultracompatible with, I'm just affaid it will never happen.

 

I think this could be a good thing for me for the time being but I don't want to hurt her or get hurt myself. This is always the big dilema when it comes to this. Also, I never seen myself doing the fwb thing. My sexual views are middle of the road IMO. That being said, at my age I have had sex 7 times in my entire life, 5 before last night so I don't think this will "tarnish" my record and I can gain some more experience too.

 

Opinions and suggestions welcomed.

 

Depends what you're looking for. If you just want someone to fill the void, sure go for it. If you want kids, move on. This woman is too old for that.

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She was so good that you counted her as two?

 

I don't think that two rounds counts as two sexual experiences... but that's beside the point I guess.

 

I think that if you like her and are attracted to her then you should probably keep seeing her, that is if both of you feel good about it. But I don't understand why you'd think that her being older than you obviates any possibility of dating. Why don't you just be real, open and genuine? Here's a chance to share the essence of your two beings, to grab the brass ring so to speak... do you think perhaps that the fear of doing that could be correlated to your dearth of prior experiences?

 

Here you are faced with the chance to live fully or run back to the stands and resume being a spectator... and you're making up excuses guised as concern for her age and making sure nobody gets hurt. I got news for ya man; joy and pain are opposite sides of the same coin. You've got a certain number of days to experience them and it's over. Or you can sit the whole thing out.

 

This statement is akin to "YOLO" and terrible advice if OP is serious about the goals that he discussed in his initial post (marriage and children). Just because somebody CAN do something doesn't mean that they SHOULD. In fact, I'd say that this mindset has contributed significantly to the decline of our society.

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TouchedByViolet

I say go for it. Sounds like life hasn't gave you many opportunities for sex. Fwb is no commitment so you can still look for a long term person. Safe sex and have fun

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I won't be getting my own place for another few months so it's not like I'm gonna be able to pull a woman right now anyway so I might asbwell have some fun for the time being.

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yep, two consenting persons who want to use one another when opportunity arises. make no mistake about it. its not what respecting adults would do. yet this is about opportunity. and when opportunity knocks... you can simply not answer it. making the right choice is sometimes where the true opportunity occurs. never sell out ur true values... you seem decent .

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Ok so I texted her to feel things out, she seemed pretty receptive. I asked her what she was doing this weekend and suggested dinner and drinks at her place. She seemed to go along with it then suggested meeting for drinks where we met and then go to her place.

 

I have no exp with this, she knows my intentions as I didn't ask her on a date. Is she doing this to not feel like a hookup? I don't want to lead her on.

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TouchedByViolet

Just do what feels natural for the both of you when setting up things. Don't feel awkward at all. Before you have sex definitely communicate that you aren't looking for anything serious. Honesty is paramount.

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Ok so I texted her to feel things out, she seemed pretty receptive. I asked her what she was doing this weekend and suggested dinner and drinks at her place. She seemed to go along with it then suggested meeting for drinks where we met and then go to her place.

 

I have no exp with this, she knows my intentions as I didn't ask her on a date. Is she doing this to not feel like a hookup? I don't want to lead her on.

 

Perhaps. It's perfectly fine and normal to have some socialization time. Just be yourself, relaxed, confident... and treat her with dignity and respect. I think she understands that this is not a life partner kind of deal, so I don't think you have to make a big pronouncement... just be real. Enjoy your time together.

 

@cristo- pffffft.

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Perhaps. It's perfectly fine and normal to have some socialization time. Just be yourself, relaxed, confident... and treat her with dignity and respect. I think she understands that this is not a life partner kind of deal, so I don't think you have to make a big pronouncement... just be real. Enjoy your time together.

 

@cristo- pffffft.

 

Yeap, I'm a big fan of drinks before sex! So usually, with almost all my FWB over the years, our encounters involved some sort of get together previously, with some chat and some drinks! No misunderstandings!

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