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Are insecurities a form of baggage?


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IMO, since our brains evolve and change throughout our life, I tend to look at insecurities and baggage like my proverbial rolling suitcase. The more stuffed it is, it does get harder to roll and heft but, whoa, watch out when the wheels come off; things go really sideways then. The 'stuff' in the suitcase is the 'baggage' of life; the wheels are intrinsic emotional security. Hence, I see security/insecurity as process and baggage as experience. We can process each life experience in many ways and we each have our way of processing.

 

If my insecurities get the better of me, those experiences (the baggage in the suitcase) are perceived through the lens of my insecurities and the emotional memories formed about those experiences are entwined with my insecurities.

 

This analogy came to me from remembering when the wheels literally did come off one overloaded (of three!) suitcase I was managing, mostly for my exW, when we were on trains in Australia. I came to hate every last item in that one suitcase :D Looking back though, it was my own insecurities about everything having to go perfectly and this one, in reality, minor setback being taken by myself way out of proportion. My wheels came off.

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It depends on whether you think life is like a plane trip, or a train ride.

 

If it's a plane trip, bringing baggage is going to be loads of hassles (but some people LOVE hassles).

 

But if it's a train ride, then fewer hassles.

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Yes, I'd call insecurities baggage.

 

However, I don't think insecurities are a big deal - just about everyone has them. I think your job in a relationship is to be gentle with your partner's insecurities, no matter how silly they might seem to you. After all, your own probably seem pretty silly to your partner. :)

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