Long distance online dating

[irc333]

Okay, here's a post with some merit to it.

 

Spoke with a woman on POF, she's probably over a good hours drive away from me. She was willing to talk, but she's explained to me every time she's dated someone that was a good drives away.

 

It would turn the dating into a forced intimacy situation where getting physical was expected and would occur.

 

Basically, these LDR online dating situations where they probably don't get together but once a week or once every 2 weeks, where sex is expected...because well...it's been 2 weeks, might as well get some action while since we drove all this way.

 

She's kind of in a lose/lose situation, because the local men she's met in her area are backwater imbeciles.

 

 

Anyways, she said she'd have this LDR's with these men she'd meet on POF or wherever, then all of a sudden the dude would find a local lady and dump HER like a hot potato.

 

SO that being said, would you say there's a forced, accelerated obligation to speed up the process of a relationship unnaturally when it comes to dating someone you've met online that lived a good distance away?

[GemmaUK]

I wouldn't say it all becomes about sex but definitely there seems to be an obligation to spend unnatural amounts of time together when you're first dating and only just getting to know someone.

 

Usually you go on a date and then the day after you have a chance to think about how the date went.

 

With online LD the guy is either in a hotel in your area (initially) or in your house and is right there and the 'date' is now an entire weekend.

 

There's no breathing space to sit back and think 'do I like you?'

 

I've never had an LD dump me so can't comment on that.

[irc333]

Yeah, she mentioned that these relationships would get more physical and "infatuation" was mistaken for love. Online LDR's seemed to have accelerated getting physical on the man's part. Which was indeed a big pet peeve of hers.

 

There would be times she'd be unavailable for dates, so the guy always had a "back up booty call." in case she wasn't available to date. Turns out the said MORE available booty call turned into his girlfriend instead. So she'd always wind up being hurt.

[GemmaUK]

Yeah, she mentioned that these relationships would get more physical and "infatuation" was mistaken for love. Online LDR's seemed to have accelerated getting physical on the man's part. Which was indeed a big pet peeve of hers.

 

There would be times she'd be unavailable for dates, so the guy always had a "back up booty call." in case she wasn't available to date. Turns out the said MORE available booty call turned into his girlfriend instead. So she'd always wind up being hurt.

 

Personally, I never had any problems with either of those things.

 

I don't get intimate with someone just because I'm not going to see them for x amount of days, nor because they have travelled to see me or vice versa.

I only get to the intimacy stage when I'm ready and feel I know the guy.

 

Any cheating wasn't an issue for me, it didn't happen.

I wish it had ..it would have made breaking up much more simple!