Beautiful worker at the grocery store

[Eddy Street]

There is a very cute girl who works in the deli at a local grocery store. I am very attracted to her personality, which is sort of mysterious, and her face, which has a sort of mysterious, brooding Celt look. Her eyes are very big and deep hazel. She is an 8-8.5 in my book. Also, she's a cyclist and has the slender physique and bike to prove it. Also, we're probably the same age.

 

Anyway, I have interacted with her a few times, mainly just asking for food, and she smiled and was nice at first, but I think she noticed me looking at her and her demeanor changed. The last time I asked her to give me salad, for example, she looked like she wanted to kill me and her tone was very hostile. She didn't even say "here you go" as she handed me my food, nor did she look at me, and I was the only one there.

 

So... How can I proceed? Can I even?

Edited September 3, 2014 by Eddy Street

[somedude81]

Try to have a conversation with her. Bike riding could be a good start.

 

If she seems really hard to talk to, move on.

[learning_slowly]

Don't waste time worrying, whether she noticed or not does not matter.

If you want to date her, just go in and order and ask for her telephone number to arrange a date.

 

If she says no, and you don't want to face her, then choose another deli. But I have known lots of guys who were persistent e.g. asking every week for a year and ended up together.

[Haydn]

Get into a chat about Kiwi fruits? Or more obscure fruit and veg knowledge. Read up on ideal growing conditions etc.....

[sillyanswer]

So... How can I proceed? Can I even?

 

"Would you like to get a coffee/drink/pizza after your shift?"

[Standard-Fare]

"Would you like to get a coffee/drink/pizza after your shift?"

 

The above approach is definitely the best, if you have the balls for it. Even if she doesn't say yes, I guarantee she'll feel flattered.

 

If you're more of a chicken, you could try a tactic like slipping her a little note with your number.

[carhill]

Anyway, I have interacted with her a few times, mainly just asking for food, and she smiled and was nice at first, but I think she noticed me looking at her and her demeanor changed. The last time I asked her to give me salad, for example, she looked like she wanted to kill me and her tone was very hostile. She didn't even say "here you go" as she handed me my food, nor did she look at me, and I was the only one there.

 

Two things - one, if you want to ask her on a date, do that, as suggested. Two, with regards to the last part above, get used to it. Ask any married man. It's like a box of chocolates; you'll never know for sure what's inside each one. It may have nothing to do with you but it'll seem like it has everything to do with you.

 

Good luck!

[endlessabyss]

There is a very cute girl who works in the deli at a local grocery store. I am very attracted to her personality, which is sort of mysterious, and her face, which has a sort of mysterious, brooding Celt look. Her eyes are very big and deep hazel. She is an 8-8.5 in my book. Also, she's a cyclist and has the slender physique and bike to prove it. Also, we're probably the same age.

 

Anyway, I have interacted with her a few times, mainly just asking for food, and she smiled and was nice at first, but I think she noticed me looking at her and her demeanor changed. The last time I asked her to give me salad, for example, she looked like she wanted to kill me and her tone was very hostile. She didn't even say "here you go" as she handed me my food, nor did she look at me, and I was the only one there.

 

So... How can I proceed? Can I even?

 

 

Proceed by stop blowing her up in your head, which is making you too anxious to speak to her. In all honesty, she probably doesn't deserve it.

 

What has she done in life to make you feel as if you can't speak to her, besides getting lucky, and drawing the long straw?

[BlueIris]

If she acted hostile after you stared at her, back off. Her personality is “mysterious” because you don’t know her. Admit that you just find her physically attractive and don’t try to say you’re attracted to the personality of someone you don’t know. But her hostile response to your staring is a “no,” so respect that.

This is why real life interaction is better than OLD. Tone and body language convey a lot.

[GemmaUK]

She noticed you sizing her up and didn't like it.

She then displayed her dislike for it.

 

Don't ask her out.

Instead read up on body language and learn how to read positive and negative signals.

[Eddy Street]

I just saw her today and she was nice. She asked if I wanted her to heat up my pizza and I said yes. While waiting, she stood with the side of her face towards me. I didn't know what to say, but I could tense a bit of a tension in her face so I moved away and pretended to look at other groceries. Then she called me over and gave me my pizza, at which point I gave a very animated "thank you so much!". She said "you're very welcome" and her voice was sort of happy, I guess, but I did not see her face.

 

We have yet to have a real mini-conversation, but I'm afraid it will be very awkward on my part. I probably shouldn't over think it.

 

But I have known lots of guys who were persistent e.g. asking every week for a year and ended up together.

 

I'm kind of paranoid about that stuff. What if I get accused of stalking or harassment? I guess there is a right way to do that sort of thing and I'm afraid I wouldn't know how.

Edited September 3, 2014 by Eddy Street

[Eddy Street]

She noticed you sizing her up and didn't like it.

She then displayed her dislike for it.

 

Don't ask her out.

Instead read up on body language and learn how to read positive and negative signals.

 

The thing is, today she seemed very friendly to me. I just don't know what to think. Well, I'm probably not going to go to jail or get jumped if I try talking to her, right?

[Easyguy14]

There is a very cute girl who works in the deli at a local grocery store. I am very attracted to her personality, which is sort of mysterious, and her face, which has a sort of mysterious, brooding Celt look. Her eyes are very big and deep hazel. She is an 8-8.5 in my book. Also, she's a cyclist and has the slender physique and bike to prove it. Also, we're probably the same age.

 

Anyway, I have interacted with her a few times, mainly just asking for food, and she smiled and was nice at first, but I think she noticed me looking at her and her demeanor changed. The last time I asked her to give me salad, for example, she looked like she wanted to kill me and her tone was very hostile. She didn't even say "here you go" as she handed me my food, nor did she look at me, and I was the only one there.

 

So... How can I proceed? Can I even?

 

 

Sounds like you might've done more than just look. Maybe staring at her with creepy intent? I would leave her alone now if I were you.

[sid3]

The thing is, today she seemed very friendly to me. I just don't know what to think. Well, I'm probably not going to go to jail or get jumped if I try talking to her, right?

 

Probably not. Just do yourself a favor when you're about to approach her. Remember she's just another human being. You haven't seen her faults, but I can assure you they're there.

[Eddy Street]

Sounds like you might've done more than just look. Maybe staring at her with creepy intent? I would leave her alone now if I were you.

 

To be honest, all I ever did was steal a few short glances at her from afar and maybe gave a lethargic look at her once as she passed next to me out of respect. Of course, without saying anything. Oh well, I guess if I know what's good for me I should forget about this. Right?

[Eddy Street]

Probably not. Just do yourself a favor when you're about to approach her. Remember she's just another human being. You haven't seen her faults, but I can assure you they're there.

 

I know she has faults, she looks like a very faulty person. She looks like a typical Caucasian hipster girl, or at least an ex-hipster, with a tattoo on her neck and all that jazz. To be quite honest, I like the challenge of winning over somebody who is too cool or maybe even bad for me, that challenge is what I'm attracted to when I say "mysterious personality". Well that and her face which to me is quite beautiful.

 

Man, I'm very shallow aren't I?

[Easyguy14]

To be honest, all I ever did was steal a few short glances at her from afar and maybe gave a lethargic look at her once as she passed next to me out of respect. Of course, without saying anything. Oh well, I guess if I know what's good for me I should forget about this. Right?

 

 

Yea you could but if she seems open to chatting now why not just get a bit of conversation going to feel her out. This is strictly your call however.

[sid33]

To be honest, all I ever did was steal a few short glances at her from afar and maybe gave a lethargic look at her once as she passed next to me out of respect. Of course, without saying anything. Oh well, I guess if I know what's good for me I should forget about this. Right?

 

Probably. Keep in mind, while you're contemplating what's good for you that there's all kinds of people with far bigger problems in their life. Some have an incurable disease, others may have lost a child, whatever. If finding a date is your toughest challenge right now, consider yourself fortunate. Getting back to the deli girl, she may not prove to be a viable option, but instead of writing her off because of that consider her as an ideal practice opportunity.

[BlueIris]

I know she has faults, she looks like a very faulty person. She looks like a typical Caucasian hipster girl, or at least an ex-hipster, with a tattoo on her neck and all that jazz. To be quite honest, I like the challenge of winning over somebody who is too cool or maybe even bad for me, that challenge is what I'm attracted to when I say "mysterious personality". Well that and her face which to me is quite beautiful.

 

Man, I'm very shallow aren't I?

 

She looks like "very faulty person"?!?!

Do you even see how dehumanizing this is?

For heaven's sake, leave her alone.

[sid33]

 

Man, I'm very shallow aren't I?

Based on this thread and several of your others, I'd say yeah and it's likely one of your biggest challenges you'll need to overcome.

[endlessabyss]

She looks like "very faulty person"?!?!

Do you even see how dehumanizing this is?

For heaven's sake, leave her alone.

 

I will agree, faulty wasn't the best adjective to use to describe this girl, but to say it's dehumanizing to describe her like that is a little dramatic.

 

All faulty means is to have flaws, or be imperfect, which a great deal of humans are.

[Eddy Street]

I did not meant faulty in a bad way. Really, I don't think I'm a bad person. I may just come across as one because I'm a bit frustrated. Having been single for 6 years and nearing 30. Really, all I want is to find love and to share with another human being.

 

I'm just frustrated. I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

[endlessabyss]

I just saw her today and she was nice. She asked if I wanted her to heat up my pizza and I said yes. While waiting, she stood with the side of her face towards me. I didn't know what to say, but I could tense a bit of a tension in her face so I moved away and pretended to look at other groceries. Then she called me over and gave me my pizza, at which point I gave a very animated "thank you so much!". She said "you're very welcome" and her voice was sort of happy, I guess, but I did not see her face.

 

We have yet to have a real mini-conversation, but I'm afraid it will be very awkward on my part. I probably shouldn't over think it.

 

 

 

I'm kind of paranoid about that stuff. What if I get accused of stalking or harassment? I guess there is a right way to do that sort of thing and I'm afraid I wouldn't know how.

 

Dude, let me tell you something. You're completely overanalyzing this shyt. It's really not that hard, you just push through the uncomfortable feelings, and speak your mind. If you don't want to be direct, throw the girl a compliment. Talk loudly, and directly. She has already made the decision if she likes you or not, unless can throw a good sales pitch to her, you're done if she has marked you off.

 

I don't want to be negative in any sense, because I feel your pain, but you have blown it. From being in your head so much, and over analyzing things, you gave off the creeper vibe. I mean you're actually telling us about her facial tension. I can only imagine what your body language was saying due to your thoughts.

 

You need to rise above your feelings, and take a more logical approach. I know, harder said than done. But, if you don't, you may risk being single much larger. Start thinking like this: "I either make a move, or stay single and unfulfilled the rest of my life". Even if she blows you off, you'll feel really good that you found the courage to do it. It's a win win. If you're awkward, who gives a ****? Do you think she's ever been awkward before? Do you think she has always been perfect?

 

I was reading something really brutal the other day, but it made so much sense. If you're too scared to approach a chick, do you really think your genetics should be passed on? All that timid and shy shyt is not going to make a woman's crotch wet.

 

Another thing, stop sweating feminist conditioning. Do you see how that is screwing yourself over? You're scared of sexual harassment, really? It's not like you're raping her, you're just trying to see if she'll go on a date with you.

Edited September 3, 2014 by endlessabyss

[BlueIris]

I will agree, faulty wasn't the best adjective to use to describe this girl, but to say it's dehumanizing to describe her like that is a little dramatic.

 

All faulty means is to have flaws, or be imperfect, which a great deal of humans are.

 

I consider assessing someone’s character by their physical appearance to be dehumanizing. Maybe it is overly dramatic. I can't imagine anyone saying to another person, “You LOOK LIKE a VERY FAULTY person”? Maybe it wouldn't be a big deal to some people to be told that. Or maybe I just feel that I’d be dehumanizing someone if I thought that way about him. I might be way out of the mainstream here.

[Polak]

I did not meant faulty in a bad way. Really, I don't think I'm a bad person. I may just come across as one because I'm a bit frustrated. Having been single for 6 years and nearing 30. Really, all I want is to find love and to share with another human being.

 

I'm just frustrated. I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

 

Nobody thinks you're a bad person. But you do seem to overanalyze every little aspect when it comes to this girl and that gets in the way. You need to adopt an "I could care less" attitude when around her. Be polite, but play things off, especially when you get to the point you want to ask her out. If she says ok, great. If she says no, well, "she wasn't anything special anyway", and go on to the next opportunity. Keep it simple, the less you think about it the happier you will be, even if she ends up not working out.