irc333 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 At some of these Meetups and events where I'm meeting some of these women, they seem relatively friendly and flirty at first, then let's say you see them again, they are bit more cordial than flirty and guarded....so if you kind of back off a bit, you notice they start to approach you once again...then, when you show interest back...they back off. Something similar happened with a male friend of mine. He met a woman at a Meetup, hit off really well, got her number..then a couple of days later he calls her, with the intention of asking her out...but she answered the phone as if he were some phone survey taker. Later one, she sees him again in person..and she's rather warm and inviting once again. Like they say, it's kind of like fishing I suppose. But sometimes I wonder if this is just a game some people play? "Let's see how many times he'll come back to me if I flirt vs. be cold with him?" Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 It's a bit like "let's see how many times I can start the same kind of thread about women on LS". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 It's a bit like "let's see how many times I can start the same kind of thread about women on LS". Um..isn't this what this message board is all about? I could understand if it was on a Facebook page somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 It has been my experience that a lot of people at meet ups, in singles clubs, etc are single for a reason. I stopped getting involved in that stuff a long time ago for that very reason. Let's face it, there are just a lot of screwed up people out there. A lot of them are married (for some bizarre reason) and a lot of them are, understandably, single. Do yourself a favor and stop trying to figure these people out. Link to post Share on other sites
D.Mc. Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 I've never been to a Meet up, but I thought the main purpose of them was to find people who share a common interest in whatever the "subject" of the meet was about. That it's not supposed to be a way to find a date. That said, I guess the ladies are forgetting that so the next time they come they say to themselves "oh don't flirt you're only here to appreciate the *subj*" so then they try to be cool. No one wants to be "that woman" in a group who everyone can see is trying way too hard... Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 I've never been to a Meet up, but I thought the main purpose of them was to find people who share a common interest in whatever the "subject" of the meet was about. That it's not supposed to be a way to find a date. Nevertheless, though they aren't there to find a date, when the time is right...they wind up asking for the digits of a certain member of the opposite sex that happens to be an outdoor enthusiast or trail biker, anyhow. *shrug* and it happens quite a bit. I would say, Meetup is probably the MOST organic way to meet someone to be perfectly honest. That said, I guess the ladies are forgetting that so the next time they come they say to themselves "oh don't flirt you're only here to appreciate the *subj*" so then they try to be cool. No one wants to be "that woman" in a group who everyone can see is trying way too hard... Usually, the activity or hobby of said focused group does tend to detract away from awkward dinner conversations at social clubs that are just having a drink at a bar or a venue where everyone is lined up at a dinner table trying to start a conversation. An activity focused group does tend to alleviate the idea as you're enjoying, let's say a kayaking group...enjoying the laid back environment, nature, helping each other with their equipment, etc. The interactivity of the activity-focused group does seem to help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 It has been my experience that a lot of people at meet ups, in singles clubs, etc are single for a reason. EVERYONE has a reason for being single, EVERYONE has a reason for being married (though some are in unhappy/dysfunctional) marriages. Not sure what you mean here, though you could imply that people are single because there's some kind of inadequacy about them where as those that are in relationships are pretty much without faults? Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 If that's the case and there's ambiguity, chances are their flirty behavior and warmth weren't a signal that they were interested in more, but were simply being friendly, flirty and warm. Even as a woman I've interacted with men who seemed flirty and made me think they were interested but next time it's less so or they never act on it or I find out they have a gf. So I take it as what I read as flirty was friendly or even if it was flirty, people can flirt without it meaning they are available or want to pursue more. So I'd leave it that way. If there is a true romantic connection when you call or as you interact more they will continue to make it clear they like you or are open to more...if you get brushed off or treated cordially, then suffice it to say it wasn't an invitation for more, just meaningless flirting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 If that's the case and there's ambiguity, chances are their flirty behavior and warmth weren't a signal that they were interested in more, but were simply being friendly, flirty and warm. Even as a woman I've interacted with men who seemed flirty and made me think they were interested but next time it's less so or they never act on it or I find out they have a gf. So I take it as what I read as flirty was friendly or even if it was flirty, people can flirt without it meaning they are available or want to pursue more. So I'd leave it that way. If there is a true romantic connection when you call or as you interact more they will continue to make it clear they like you or are open to more...if you get brushed off or treated cordially, then suffice it to say it wasn't an invitation for more, just meaningless flirting. I wouldn't necessarily think this all the time. You'd have to be in a man's shoe to understand as you're a woman, right? So you may be biased in your feedback hear. If a phone number was provided, when they weren't actually interested, it means they are playing games and that person is not someone you'd want to know anyway. I've had it happen to me before where a woman was touchy feely with me close dancing on the dance floor, holding my hand about half the evening, and even lead me out by the hand to her car then proceeds to ask me to meet at her house later in the week for a dinner and movie only to cancel later on and when attempting to reschedule for another time, that she comes up with excuses. It means she's playing games obviously. Link to post Share on other sites
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