jacktheripper Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 hey everyone, i started talking to a girl on a site, I gave her my number and we started to text a lot throughout three days. She has seen my pics but when i have asked her if i could see hers she hasn't responded to that. Should i ask her again, or will it sound weird? She doesn't have any pictures up on her profile, but i do. I messaged her because i liked her profile bio. Link to post Share on other sites
MrMeh Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Perfectly reasonable. Not like you asked her to bend over naked? Right?...jk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 She's insecure about her looks so tread lightly. I always wanted a photo before a meet but I made a point not to cancel the meet just because I wasn't thrilled with the photo. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Honestly, if she doesn't just give you a face shot or something, I'd quit talking to her. Her behavior is that she's hiding something. Could not even be a girl. Could be a guy having fun with himself while texting you. Could be married and just getting her ego fed. You've asked her and she won't send one. Hell, even if someone got fat, they'd probably send you an old photo just to keep it going. As long as you haven't asked her specifically for a full body or any nudity, and she has refused, you just need to stop investing time in her/him. Because no average looking person would just refuse that. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 I have encountered this a few times, once quite recently. They have justifications in their own mind, but that doesn't make it any better on the other end. I think these women are usually tentative, untrusting of men generally. They don't care about the inequity of seeing your pics while refusing to reciprocate, which may be a clue to how they conduct relationships. Sometimes they have self aggrandizing notions about being so inherently desirable that they expect men to pursue relentlessly, as a sign of good faith or not being all about the looks, without seeing a pic and sometimes not even giving him a first name. There are presumptions in this attitude that are distasteful and unbalanced. Sometimes women legitimately need to keep the dating profile on the down low for professional reasons, but those people will generally offer to send pics via email right away. I had this happen once and she turned out to be very attractive. Men should look for balance and reciprocity in the interactions right from the start, and if it's not there then move on. It's sort of humiliating to play into this game as if you're so desperate to make a connection that the only requirement is that she be a member of the vagina owners association. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 I'm assuming you met her on an OLD site in which case I have no idea why people refuse to post pics or at the very least share pics of themselves at some point. I mean, they're on a DATING SITE for f*ck sakes! The expectation of being on such a site is to MEET PEOPLE isn't it?! Eventually they're going to have to reveal themselves otherwise they should seriously consider loitering on another website that caters to creepy shut-ins with glandular issues and rampant toe fungus Gotta love the internet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
martaldn Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Perfectly reasonable. Not like you asked her to bend over naked? Right?...jk. :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Attractive women who receive a lot of junk messages, are often advised to make their pics private or remove them completely. Then send them only to those guys who they get on with and are interested in meeting. It's a legitimate way to reduce spam. But refusing to send them even when you ask... I would cut this one loose. Weirdo or disinterested alert. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 ^ And I guess that's okay advice for those women, but in which case she should have s**t or got off the pot by now. Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 There are peeps like me who don't do pix until some trust has been made. Geezo, just 3 days... and you want a piccy. If she is feeling like this is going to be longer than a month, maybe she'll get enough courage to send a picture from her cell phone. Women can be very shy. It seems I attract the shyest of women... at first I thought it was me so I gave up right away. After time, I realized they just need some time to open up. It was a shame I did not realize shyness as they were the nicest women I had come across that I dropped the chance to get into a relationship with. I did not dump them, just never followed through and gave them a chance. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 I'd ask again and if she doesn't respond I'd forget about moving forward with her. I personally want to be upfront about my looks so that if a man chooses to message me he at least knows he is attracted. I expect the same from him. No picture is a deal breaker for me. It's one thing when I have tons of pics up and a man keeps requesting more or hints at/outright asks for sexy ones , but if I had NO picture I would expect he'd ask. Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia2014 Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 There are peeps like me who don't do pix until some trust has been made. Geezo, just 3 days... and you want a piccy. If she is feeling like this is going to be longer than a month, maybe she'll get enough courage to send a picture from her cell phone. Women can be very shy. It seems I attract the shyest of women... at first I thought it was me so I gave up right away. After time, I realized they just need some time to open up. It was a shame I did not realize shyness as they were the nicest women I had come across that I dropped the chance to get into a relationship with. I did not dump them, just never followed through and gave them a chance. I am really shy with very low self esteem and I have three pictures of myself on a dating site. It is weird she won't give him a picture. Even a shy/insecure woman like myself will post three pictures. Only a person hiding something won't post a picture or provide a picture. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 With OLD, you have to respect that someone has really stuck their neck out if they contacted you without benefit of even seeing you're who you say you are and what you look like. I agree that if you're going to do OLD, you're obligated to post a current pic. My feeling is if you're a little shy about that or don't want everyone to know you're on OLD, then make that a part of your profile and put "for privacy reasons pic supplied upon request." Or put a pic from a great distance but where at least someone can see you're male or female, your dress and general physique. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 (edited) I have a profile on one of the popular sites for singles over 50. Women come on there who are new to online dating, and a quite a few of them have no picture. They are so clueless. I ride motorcycles (and have pics of motorcycles so those who don't like them can pass), so when a woman contacts me and says that she likes to ride it gets my attention. I recently responded to two women with no pic, and I asked about a pic in the first message. At first they try to ignore the question, so I have to ask again. I explain that it's not ALL about looks, but there must be some attraction and asking for a pic is not at all out of the ordinary, yada, yada. Then they start with the excuses, none of which are valid. What they actually expect is for a man to be so enthralled over the fact that they're female that he'll just woo the $hit out of them without having the slightest clue what they look like! That is the only rational explanation. So both of these women finally relented and showed me a pic. Guess what... yes, they are both fat and unattractive. Now I'm in the position of having to either a) tell them they are unattractive, b) just quit responding immediately upon seeing the picture, c) make up some excuse as to why I've suddenly lost interest, which I'm not very inclined to do. It's their own damn fault- if they'd posted a pic to begin with we wouldn't have waisted all of this time and energy, and they wouldn't have to deal so directly with rejection based on their appearance. Honestly, the best policy is to simply not respond to anyone without a pic. And if it's so tempting that you just can't help it, then ask for the pic and don't engage in a dialog until they show you one. I feel like a woman on here bitching about being pursued inappropriately. Edited August 31, 2014 by salparadise Link to post Share on other sites
Polak Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Then they start with the excuses, none of which are valid. What they actually expect is for a man to be so enthralled over the fact that they're female that he'll just woo the $hit out of them without having the slightest clue what they look like! That is the only rational explanation. ........ It's their own damn fault- if they'd posted a pic to begin with we wouldn't have waisted all of this time and energy, and they wouldn't have to deal so directly with rejection based on their appearance. YES. I went through this before, and although photos were involved, I eventually found out they were not actually of the girl in question. Very shortly thereafter I found out she was a compulsive liar (on top of being unattractive in reality) so I just wasted a bunch of time. Lesson learned! Take it from us, OP, asking for photos is nothing out of the ordinary. There are exceptions, such as very shy girls, but seriously, if a girl is on a dating site she knows 100% that pictures will be expected sooner or later. If she doesn't procure one within a reasonable time frame, drop her like an anvil. No sense in wasting time with unreasonable females. (Salparadise, good to see a fellow biker on here. Ride safe!) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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