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Online Dating Conspiracy


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I don't know if it's just me, but does anyone else feel like there is something terribly wrong with online dating? I mean why exactly is it so hard? Could there be something more to it than meets the eye?

 

Could it be perhaps that the majority of attractive profiles on these sites are complete fakes or have people working behind them and managing multiples?

 

I say this because at times I seem to receive messages/visitors simultaneously which makes question the authenticity of them.

Why wouldn't companies create fake profiles? Why wouldn't they want us coming back for more?

 

I know many will be ready to defend OLD but you never know.

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What I think is that 80 % of the profiles on there, male or female, are created without the intent of finding a relationship. A certain percentage are looking for text buddies, and have zero intention of meeting anyone. A certain percentage only want hookups and casual.encounters. a certain percentage are bored and only want the attention that comes with a few scantily clad pictures.

 

 

 

Thus, the entire environment has been flooded with people that have zero interest.in finding a relationship, zero interest in meeting up, or just want to lead you in for some quick sex or a quick ego boost.

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I didn't do it for long but I found it very hurtful . . . all these profiles . . . all these people but I didn't understand why I was rarely even getting the courtesy of a thanks but no thanks response.

 

Years later I learned that yes, some of the sites do or did have fake profiles designed to make their #s larger. The one I was on, also kept sending me e-mails for about 6 months saying that if I paid more money & renewed my subscription I could see all the new matches they had for me. So clearly they were using my profile & sending it out to compatible men, who may have responded only to be greeted by silence because I was no longer an active member. If they didn't realize that, those men with whom I was matched may have thought I was rejecting them when in reality I didn't know about them.

 

Also it's way easier to flake on people behind the safety of your keyboard.

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Kid_Charlemange

I've read that the "more basic" sites like adultfriendfinder are populated with a lot of fake profiles, in order to entice one into paying money -- only to find out there is no real person on the other side of the screen.

 

I haven't run into that on the more mainstream ones like match and OKC. They seem real enough.

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I think that a lot of people on those sites are real. Some lie about certain things (like their age - when I recently checked it out, one man was once again lying about his age, knocking eight years off his real age, in the ongoing search for younger women), some lie about other things, but not all of them do.

 

The only fake accounts I've come across where men are concerned, were those I heard about here, that were set up for test purposes. I would think that a few messages exchanged with the women who message you, would help you to weed out the real from the fake.

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Disillusioned

What I don't understand is how most people know OLD has been revealed as a scam, but yet there are plenty of people who keep feeding the pig.

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I believe this as well, I think a vast majority of them are reeling from previous break ups. It's so easy to sit there crying, eating a pint of ice cream and open up a POF account to seek an ego boost and validation only to not actually meet up with these people.

 

MOST notably is the amount of the same women I keep seeing on these sites, even after I've taken about 6 months off, I'm still seeing the same women in my area.

 

Of course, I've pretty much emailed a good amount of them, nary to get a response. With this more remote area you figured they'd figure it out, ya know? lol

 

 

What I think is that 80 % of the profiles on there, male or female, are created without the intent of finding a relationship. A certain percentage are looking for text buddies, and have zero intention of meeting anyone. A certain percentage only want hookups and casual.encounters. a certain percentage are bored and only want the attention that comes with a few scantily clad pictures.

 

 

 

Thus, the entire environment has been flooded with people that have zero interest.in finding a relationship, zero interest in meeting up, or just want to lead you in for some quick sex or a quick ego boost.

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I am noticing an UPrising with "Mad" profiles, with women (because I have it set to male seeking female). Women ranting on in their profiles and talking DOWN to their audience.

 

"You better not....blah blah blah blah...be a player, looking for a one night stand, blah blah blah"

 

COnstantly, constantly, constantly, like a broken friggin' record.

 

Then there's the canned disclaimer of, "If I don't respond to you, please don't email me a week later...because obviously you didn't take the hint I wasn't interested!"

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a certain percentage are bored and only want the attention that comes with a few scantily clad pictures.

 

 

Yeah, there's this one I keep seeing, been on here for months, claimed to be an "OR Nurse that loves fashion, running, music, & traveling" ...nothing more than that. Her screen name was "Living Doll" lol

 

Half her pics were in dressing room mirror selfies of her in Victoria Secret attire or some cutsie, revealing attire. She listed her personality as "Princess"

 

Get this with a fake gem covered Iphone cover. :laugh::laugh:

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Extremely picky girls and attention junkies is the problem. You know what else is sad, they make up a large percentage of singles.

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normal person

It's certainly not a conspiracy. However, what I can say by reading these forums is that it's definitely not for most guys. It's in the best financial interest of the companies to market them to everyone and make the most money.

 

I see most guys falling into this trap where they seem to think OLD will be their saving grace. They think that if they just make a profile, regardless of what it says or who they are, that that will be "enough." They think women will see their picture and read a paragraph about how much fun they like to have and what movies they like and be smitten. It doesn't work like that. Then the guy gets frustrated and think it's a conspiracy.

 

OLD favors who look good on paper. What're you expecting people to like about you? Are you funny? Are you good looking? Are you exciting? Are you different (in an attractive way)? Do you make a lot of money? Can you write a few paragraphs that inspire a feeling or desire? If you answered "yes" to a lot of these things, you're probably pretty good at online dating. If not, all OLD is going to do is shine a spotlight on your mediocrity.

 

If you're just an average guy (which is fine), I'd argue OLD will make look even worse because you're advertising yourself as completely faceless and common in a forum where people are actively scrutinizing each other and looking for the next best thing. If that's the case for you, I'd look elsewhere because the whole process is still pretty much in its infancy. The companies want you to sign up so they get more money, but the cocktail of technological limitations and peoples' individual tastes make it far from egalitarian.

 

My advice: if you want to do better with OLD, develop qualities that look good on paper. If that's too much work, just let it augment your dating pool rather than having it be the only source.

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It's certainly not a conspiracy. However, what I can say by reading these forums is that it's definitely not for most guys. It's in the best financial interest of the companies to market them to everyone and make the most money.

 

I see most guys falling into this trap where they seem to think OLD will be their saving grace. They think that if they just make a profile, regardless of what it says or who they are, that that will be "enough." They think women will see their picture and read a paragraph about how much fun they like to have and what movies they like and be smitten. It doesn't work like that. Then the guy gets frustrated and think it's a conspiracy.

 

OLD favors who look good on paper. What're you expecting people to like about you? Are you funny? Are you good looking? Are you exciting? Are you different (in an attractive way)? Do you make a lot of money? Can you write a few paragraphs that inspire a feeling or desire? If you answered "yes" to a lot of these things, you're probably pretty good at online dating. If not, all OLD is going to do is shine a spotlight on your mediocrity.

 

If you're just an average guy (which is fine), I'd argue OLD will make look even worse because you're advertising yourself as completely faceless and common in a forum where people are actively scrutinizing each other and looking for the next best thing. If that's the case for you, I'd look elsewhere because the whole process is still pretty much in its infancy. The companies want you to sign up so they get more money, but the cocktail of technological limitations and peoples' individual tastes make it far from egalitarian.

 

My advice: if you want to do better with OLD, develop qualities that look good on paper. If that's too much work, just let it augment your dating pool rather than having it be the only source.

 

Qualities don't mean a thing, it's looks. Haven't you seen the post on here giving a link to a website that shows a really big jerk with a nice face writing the most horrendous things to women and still getting their numbers? When the average profile was created he was told to be more respectful however. Perfecting your message and writing out your profile nicely is a nice circle women who don't like us want us to be stuck in.

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If you treat OLD as one big, hilarious joke then you won't be disappointed.

 

I also play the OLD drinking game while in browsing profiles which helps inject some much needed relief:

 

1 shot when a girl mentions she loves to travel

1 shot if there are more than 5 spelling mistakes

1 shot if the number 1 thing she can't live without is her mobile phone

2 shots if the first thing people notice about her is her eyes or her smile

2 shots if she has a picture of her with a tiger or at Macchu Pichu

Down your drink if she has a painful intro where she tries to explain what she's doing on OLD using words like "I don't usually do things like this, but..."

 

I'm usually ****faced within 5 profiles.

Edited by insert_name
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It's certainly not a conspiracy. However, what I can say by reading these forums is that it's definitely not for most guys. It's in the best financial interest of the companies to market them to everyone and make the most money.

 

I see most guys falling into this trap where they seem to think OLD will be their saving grace. They think that if they just make a profile, regardless of what it says or who they are, that that will be "enough." They think women will see their picture and read a paragraph about how much fun they like to have and what movies they like and be smitten. It doesn't work like that. Then the guy gets frustrated and think it's a conspiracy.

 

OLD favors who look good on paper. What're you expecting people to like about you? Are you funny? Are you good looking? Are you exciting? Are you different (in an attractive way)? Do you make a lot of money? Can you write a few paragraphs that inspire a feeling or desire? If you answered "yes" to a lot of these things, you're probably pretty good at online dating. If not, all OLD is going to do is shine a spotlight on your mediocrity.

 

If you're just an average guy (which is fine), I'd argue OLD will make look even worse because you're advertising yourself as completely faceless and common in a forum where people are actively scrutinizing each other and looking for the next best thing. If that's the case for you, I'd look elsewhere because the whole process is still pretty much in its infancy. The companies want you to sign up so they get more money, but the cocktail of technological limitations and peoples' individual tastes make it far from egalitarian.

 

My advice: if you want to do better with OLD, develop qualities that look good on paper. If that's too much work, just let it augment your dating pool rather than having it be the only source.

 

You seem to have this false idea that profile content will some how make anyone of either gender more appealing.

 

 

Let me tell you , it doesn't.

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If you treat OLD as one big, hilarious joke then you won't be disappointed.

 

I also play the OLD drinking game while in browsing profiles which helps inject some much needed relief:

 

1 shot when a girl mentions she loves to travel

1 shot if there are more than 5 spelling mistakes

1 shot if the number 1 thing she can't live without is her mobile phone

2 shots if the first thing people notice about her is her eyes or her smile

2 shots if she has a picture of her with a tiger or at Macchu Pichu

Down your drink if she has a painful intro where she tries to explain what she's doing on OLD using words like "I don't usually do things like this, but..."

 

I'm usually ****faced within 5 profiles.

 

You wouldn't have been drunk with mine. I don't have a mobile phone, people notice my accent, and have that many women been to Machu Picchu? I actually want to go there. :laugh:

 

You seem to have this false idea that profile content will some how make anyone of either gender more appealing.

 

 

Let me tell you , it doesn't.

 

It did for me. I read the profiles of those who contacted me, and those I contacted.

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You wouldn't have been drunk with mine. I don't have a mobile phone, people notice my accent, and have that many women been to Machu Picchu? I actually want to go there. :laugh:

 

 

 

It did for me. I read the profiles of those who contacted me, and those I contacted.

 

You forgot to mention their pictures convinced you to read their profiles.

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I'm a very average guy and have had enough success with OLD in terms of getting dates to know it's not a scam. I will say though that I've never gotten into a long term relationship through OLD - longest was about 3 months.

 

OLD dating in my opinion is not a very good way to find a long term partner. I read stats somewhere that although a lot of new relationships are being formed through OLD, the 'lasting power' of those relationships is quite short - about equivalent to meeting a stranger in a bar. Whereas people that met through work, school or through their social circle, had a much better chance of being together a long time or getting married.

 

So, from my experience, it's a good way to get some dates under your belt, but not a great way to meet your "rest of my life" partner.

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You forgot to mention their pictures convinced you to read their profiles.

 

You obviously didn't read that I read the profiles of EVERYONE who messaged me. Even the, "hey sexy" ones, and those who contacted me more than once, obviously forgetting that they'd contacted me before (they sent mass emails, and didn't give a crap about who I was as a person).

 

Do you message based on how women look? Or are you attracted to their souls?

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I don't find it particularly harder than any other kind of dating.

 

I currently have a bf, met him after a little less than a month into online dating. Previous bf some years ago I also met online. I also had some decent dates even though it didn't amount to a relationship.

 

So for me, I haven't found it that difficult. In fact it was harder to meet someone to date just out and about and it wasn't until I got online that I was able to find a decent man...as offline I was flirted with, asked out but most were not men I would ever date and then I went on a few dates but it also didn't amount to anything. So I dunno....

 

Guess it depends on the person.

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You wouldn't have been drunk with mine. I don't have a mobile phone, people notice my accent, and have that many women been to Machu Picchu? I actually want to go there. :laugh:

 

 

 

Marry me! (Subject to spelling mistakes :laugh: )

 

PS: yeah no problem with people going there, just don't use it for a profile pic, its so cliche, although moreso on Tinder than traditional OLD. Riding an elephant and skiing/snowboarding also seem to be heavily clichéd ways of screaming "LOOK WHAT AN INTERESTING LIFE I LEAD!!1" to prospective suitors. All seems a bit try hard to me, especially when lots of other people use the same pic idea.

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You obviously didn't read that I read the profiles of EVERYONE who messaged me. Even the, "hey sexy" ones, and those who contacted me more than once, obviously forgetting that they'd contacted me before (they sent mass emails, and didn't give a crap about who I was as a person).

 

Do you message based on how women look? Or are you attracted to their souls?

 

I'm glad you did charity work and read everyone's profile however you completely changed the topic in regards to how you judge them.

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I'm glad you did charity work and read everyone's profile however you completely changed the topic in regards to how you judge them.

 

I didn't change anything: I told you that I'm sure that every man I spoke to was real, and you assumed that I only messaged people that I found attractive (which shouldn't be a problem, but I actually wrote to people who sounded like they'd be fun to spend time with).

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Qualities don't mean a thing, it's looks. Haven't you seen the post on here giving a link to a website that shows a really big jerk with a nice face writing the most horrendous things to women and still getting their numbers? When the average profile was created he was told to be more respectful however. Perfecting your message and writing out your profile nicely is a nice circle women who don't like us want us to be stuck in.

 

You changed your own topic, right here.

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normal person
You seem to have this false idea that profile content will some how make anyone of either gender more appealing.

 

 

Let me tell you , it doesn't.

 

Let me tell you, it most certainly does. I've posted this a month or two ago, I don't know why you didn't believe me then.

 

"Your profile" messages from Match. Straight from the inbox.

 

Put the shoe on the other foot: if a girl sends you a terrible message and has a terrible profile, you're sure as heck not going to go out with her, are you? I would hope not. It makes her much less appealing. Even if she's gorgeous, if she isn't discerning enough to make herself stand out or has nothing seemingly interesting to say or can't be bothered to write an interesting paragraph two, you aren't going to bother.

 

Very cute girl who messaged and complained that I was requesting an "autobiography" when I asked her what else I should know about her besides completely generic statements. No thanks.

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Kid_Charlemange

 

OLD favors who look good on paper. What're you expecting people to like about you? Are you funny? Are you good looking? Are you exciting? Are you different (in an attractive way)? Do you make a lot of money? Can you write a few paragraphs that inspire a feeling or desire? If you answered "yes" to a lot of these things, you're probably pretty good at online dating. If not, all OLD is going to do is shine a spotlight on your mediocrity.

 

I answer yes to a few, a resounding no to the others.

 

I'm hopeless at meeting women IRL. Of the dozen or so I've dated this year, one was met IRL. It's just a matter of spread: With my decently-written, pretty clever profile, I can be seen by a thousand women. It would take me a decade to meet a thousand women who were single and looking to date IRL. The percentage that will turn me down on looks is the same, most likely. And I'm a much more effective writer than talker.

 

So I got some dates this year. None of them really worked out for me, which is a drag, but at least I gave it a chance. Outside of OLD, the odds are that I'd have dated less than three in the same period of time.

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