Imajerk17 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 What an interesting past couple days. I was at a coffee shop Saturday when I met a woman. Then I went to a party Saturday night when I met another woman. Then I met a woman in the grocery store today. It doesn't happen to me every week by any means, but on the other hand, it's not like this is all that unusual for me. My secret? Well, first off, I'm nothing special. I'm not great-looking but I do the best with what I have. I'm short! I just start conversations with women and a certain percentage of the time there is a connection. I post this thread to illustrate to the guys who are struggling that they aren't taking enough responsibility. If they only talked with more women they would be having options too. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Easier said than done though really. How do you get talking to these girls? Always seems a bit 'intrusive' to me in situations where girls are going about their every day business to just contrive a reason to talk to them. Perhaps it's my own perception/cognitive bias or whatever but is there not an element of 'great, another guy hitting on me!' on the part of the woman? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Easier said than done though really. How do you get talking to these girls? Always seems a bit 'intrusive' to me in situations where girls are going about their every day business to just contrive a reason to talk to them. Perhaps it's my own perception/cognitive bias or whatever but is there not an element of 'great, another guy hitting on me!' on the part of the woman? You have to read body language. You smile, she smiles back, bang! You're good to approach and talk to her. If you think she doesn't notice you, ask her something stupid. IDK grab 2 different brands of coffee and ask if she's tried one or the other. It doesn't matter what her answer is, it's how she answers it. "I'm sorry I really don't drink coffee" with a smile and a look of interest is good. "I prefer that one" while she barely looks at you and keeps moving is bad. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TheyCallMeOx Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 What works for me is to not be afraid of rejection, since rejection is the worst thing that can happen. If you let go of being afraid and willing to accept the truth, things go a lot smoother. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 What works for me is to not be afraid of rejection, since rejection is the worst thing that can happen. If you let go of being afraid and willing to accept the truth, things go a lot smoother. You should be able to tell whether or not you'll be rejected. There's no need to approach a women who shows no sign of interest. Link to post Share on other sites
TheyCallMeOx Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 You should be able to tell whether or not you'll be rejected. There's no need to approach a women who shows no sign of interest. Some people are better at diagnosing car engines than they are reading people. There's nothing wrong with approaching women without knowing they are interested or not. As long as you're not afraid of the consequences, hearing them say "I'm not interested" is always better than reading them. Reading people is like reading facts off the internet; that's great and all, but if there's no source to look at it...is it even credible? Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Some people are better at diagnosing car engines than they are reading people. There's nothing wrong with approaching women without knowing they are interested or not. As long as you're not afraid of the consequences, hearing them say "I'm not interested" is always better than reading them. Reading people is like reading facts off the internet; that's great and all, but if there's no source to look at it...is it even credible? It's not that complicated. Here maybe this'll help you. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/483119-ladies-do-you-give-signals-when-you-want-approached Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Absolutely it's easy to meet women, including women who are attractive, friendly and often flirtatious, every day. In fact, nearly every time I go out in public, I do, and we often enjoy each other. Sounds like nirvana, right? I would think it would be, other than the fact that, with practically zero exceptions, they're wearing wedding bands. If I met a single woman, meaning a woman not young enough to be my daughter or granddaughter but one of my generation, I'd trumpet that here. The skills and 'fun' part of meeting women has been of little issue in my life. I meet women. They're all married. Last one who caught my attention and I hers turned out to be married (no ring!) and has three kids, now divorced, still with three kids. Sounds great? Small problem - 22 years younger! Still fun though! Good on you for your success. If I ever end up somewhere where there are single women around, I'll likely be trumpeting it similarly. Really, as you often state, it's not that hard! Link to post Share on other sites
TheyCallMeOx Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 It's not that complicated. Here maybe this'll help you. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/483119-ladies-do-you-give-signals-when-you-want-approached Hey. Whatever works for you man. Everyone's got different approaches. Use whatever works for you, and that's all that matters. I'm not saying that my approach is better than yours; I'm saying that it doesn't matter. Both sides have their pro's and con's. Let's just agree to disagree. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Oh, I missed this earlier. To the person who asked about what to say: well, one man just started talking to me about a special Christmas item that I was putting in my cart. He was waiting for his turn at the milk/milk replacements, so he saw the chocolate mint coconut milk that I'd just taken from the refrigerator. Another started to talk to me about magazines; a third complimented my accent (he was behind the table at a farmer's market, and a young one, though). Most should at least be polite, even if they don't want to continue talking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mirages Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Well, I think I am with "insert_name" on this one. When you live in a town large enough to mean something, yet small enough to be well recognized, it gets more difficult. I (male) have been cold-approached a number of times. While married I would keep a distance, after that I still did/don't know where to take it. I.e. you get in deli, a nice lady orders some ham, and offers me a piece! Well I got about ten calories out of that one, but something in me just isn't going to take it to the next level; with her kids right there too. It is lamentable that certain stores have the finest of humans walking around, better than OLD, but a misinterpreted attempt to chatter can get one creep-listed pretty quickly. I typically get off to a really good, or really bad start. I can see it happening: He) "Hi, I am looking for rice crisps, do you have any idea where I could find them? Oh, also looking for a date, any thoughts on that one?" She) "Well actually the dates can be organic or regular, and they only come in season, they are by the tomatoes when I find them." he) "Oh I only need one, maybe more if it was good, I thought you seemed interested..." She) "I think the dates are not sold individually, they are sold by weight." he) "You look pretty light..." I do however seem to be sensitive to accurately and quickly gauge interest in them; just incompetent from that point on. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 What do you mean by meeting women? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Last woman I 'met' was a waitress at a little restaurant I was eating at that was for sale and I was interested so I started chatting her up to learn more about the place. Never met her before, it was after lunch so slow and we got to talking. If she had been single, my age and not six hundred miles from where I live I might have asked her out. She was 20+ years younger and married, at least by her ring. In fact, on that trip, I chatted with all kinds of women. I recall, humorously, one woman calling over to me at breakfast at the hotel and asking me what I wanted. She thought I was her husband. We had a good laugh about that. That's how I meet women. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I'majerk is right. There's no getting around it: You have to both leave your house AND speak to women before you can meet one. Anyone who finds that too adventuresome has some maturing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Though I'm not much for the cold approach, if it's at a mutual friend's party, a Meetup event or some intimate gathering of friends and acquaintences, women are likely wanting to be approached. I've heard women on these forums aren't really all that keen on being approached when running errands. Some have admitted, "I'm there to shop, get in , and get out as quick as possible." Basically it's an area not conducive to striking up conversations. What an interesting past couple days. I was at a coffee shop Saturday when I met a woman. Then I went to a party Saturday night when I met another woman. Then I met a woman in the grocery store today. It doesn't happen to me every week by any means, but on the other hand, it's not like this is all that unusual for me. My secret? Well, first off, I'm nothing special. I'm not great-looking but I do the best with what I have. I'm short! I just start conversations with women and a certain percentage of the time there is a connection. I post this thread to illustrate to the guys who are struggling that they aren't taking enough responsibility. If they only talked with more women they would be having options too. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 It's not that complicated. Here maybe this'll help you. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/483119-ladies-do-you-give-signals-when-you-want-approached In my area, most women aren't open to being approached. Esp. cold turkey. I mean you could always try, but there's that "stranger danger" factor. They can be rather "short" in their responses. But that's really regional. A friend of mine traveled to another area of the country where they got out of a church concert and these women who happened to be near them approached THEM out of the blue. The guys did none of the approaching. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Your area sounds like my area, Carhill. LOL It's funny seeing all these 21 year old women with wedding rings, carting around 2 to 3 diaper wearing kids. LOL I remember going to college and coming back to my home town in my mid-20's...still single of course. I started my community college there and I think every woman in my class were engaged or married to some schmuck they went with to the high school prom. Some had buns in the oven. It was like being on an alien planet. Absolutely it's easy to meet women, including women who are attractive, friendly and often flirtatious, every day. In fact, nearly every time I go out in public, I do, and we often enjoy each other. Sounds like nirvana, right? I would think it would be, other than the fact that, with practically zero exceptions, they're wearing wedding bands. If I met a single woman, meaning a woman not young enough to be my daughter or granddaughter but one of my generation, I'd trumpet that here. The skills and 'fun' part of meeting women has been of little issue in my life. I meet women. They're all married. Last one who caught my attention and I hers turned out to be married (no ring!) and has three kids, now divorced, still with three kids. Sounds great? Small problem - 22 years younger! Still fun though! Good on you for your success. If I ever end up somewhere where there are single women around, I'll likely be trumpeting it similarly. Really, as you often state, it's not that hard! Link to post Share on other sites
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