Should I Get A Makeover To Date?

[indie22]

OK I'm think I'm an attractive woman but I don't get approached enough to find someone right for me.

I know with dating you're "suppoised " to date multiple people and start elimanting those that you're not compatible with. The issue is I can't even find one to date let alone ask me. I'm afraid to ask first because rejection stings me a lot longer than most other people.

I think since I'm not approached doing the approaching would make things worse.

 

I have been hit on once...that's when I had on really short shorts, my hair out and curly with large shades on.

 

I even pay more attention to the "nice" guys they don't even ask for my number or ask me out.

 

What is wrong!?

[Zeurich]

If some one ask me out because how do I look like or my beauty, I would say NO at the first place. The person who ask you out need to accept who you are not what you are or your out side beauty,so take it easy, be happy about how you look like, don't chase the guys then they will ignore you, be your self, and enjoy your life.

[sillyanswer]

I even pay more attention to the "nice" guys they don't even ask for my number or ask me out.

 

What is wrong!?

 

A lot of the "nice" guys don't have the balls to ask a woman out.

 

As for getting a makeover - I don't know what you look like or how you dress so I can't say whether it would help. If it makes you feel happier for more confident then that could be good in itself.

 

What situations do you put yourself in where men might approach you?

[preraph]

You look very pretty in your photo. I'm old and I was "striking" when young and managed to get popular but it didn't come naturally. I didn't have a great body, not big boobs, which is more important now than it was then. But over the years, I have learned a few things I could have done differently and attracted more men. I have a serious face unless I'm really laughing. I think I look goofy when laughing, but it puts people at ease and what other people see isn't the look we give ourselves in the bathroom mirror before leaving every morning. They see our 3D, smiling, not smiling, side view, etc.

 

If I had to do it over again, I'd smile really big and toothy a LOT more. I was in my late 30s before a cute guy I did business with, drunk, let me know that he'd found me intimidating and it was more about not smiling enough than anything. Since then, I stumbled upon a facial expression that also works to make me look approachable and that is raising both my eyebrows way up and looking at someone. By your photo, I think you need to smile more. And don't just smile at guys that are cute but practice smiling on everyone and let it become natural. Focus on looking open and casual and friendly.

 

The other things I learned were about clothes. I was what you might call a self-made low-budget fashion plate. Within my subculture, which was music, I was considered a creative dresser and one guy who knew how broke I was at the time told me I always looked like a million dollars. I was into glamorous fabrics I got secondhand and tweaked to be in a rock style or even a pre-goth style. I mostly wore black. And that was fine, but the one thing I needed to do is I tended to love high collars and I needed to wear some v-necks or scoop necks and show some skin. I did wear miniskirts alot, so there was always leg, but a little skin up top is what guys really like. I didn't have much cleavage to show. Don't show it all. That looks trashy. Just a little cleavage. V-neck tops, scoop tops. Bras that push them together are good, especially if you're not overly endowed.

 

I never hardly showed cleavage and the one time I did I was in my late 30s and had a jacket on over a corset-type top, and I snagged one of the hottest guys on the planet long enough for a fling. I learned that lesson too late.

 

If you have a good shape, you know, hourglass, then don't ever wear baggy clothes because guys are instinctually drawn to the hourglass shape, wither it's big or little, flat or bosomy.

 

That's it! Smile and show a little cleavage. If your figure allows, were clothes that show your waist. Just the smiling and making yourself look approachable will get you not only new guys but new friends and guys who didn't think you looked interested or are a little hesitant to speak to a stranger will think, Hey, she's friendly and talking to everybody so she won't be mean if I say hi to her.

 

And you can always go to MAC cosmetics and get a free makeup makeover just for fun.

[R3d]

If some one ask me out because how do I look like or my beauty, I would say NO at the first place. The person who ask you out need to accept who you are not what you are or your out side beauty,so take it easy, be happy about how you look like, don't chase the guys then they will ignore you, be your self, and enjoy your life.

 

That seems a bit harsh for cold "approachers". Usually asking out in and of itself is mostly based on looks especially when cold approaching. I mean that's basically what a cold approach is.

[LuckyLady13]

Should you get a makeover to date? YES, if it will bring your confidence level up. Just be careful to not change you as a person but rather accentuate your positive qualities so that you are still you - You 2.0. That way you will never feel at the end of the day "if only people knew who I really am..."

 

I'm afraid to ask first because rejection stings me a lot longer than most other people.

 

You wondered what's wrong but at the same time already knew this is a major problem for you. But you're under this misconception that it stings you longer and it's not. But the sting isn't so painful after you've felt it a thousand times.

 

You need to approach people you're attracted to! And if they aren't attracted to you, do it again at the next opportunity and again until bingo! You get the right one who feels exactly about you the way you do about them.

 

Rejection is tough and people who face it, deal with everything it brings then face it again are the ones who get what they're after in life. Yes, it will hurt but if you don't toughen up buttercup, you're not going to get what you really desire.

 

Your solution to your problem is to face it. Then you will find and get what you're looking for.

[Zeurich]

That seems a bit harsh for cold "approachers". Usually asking out in and of itself is mostly based on looks especially when cold approaching. I mean that's basically what a cold approach is.

Really ,, ha ha ,,, seems I scare you away right.

[indie22]

If some one ask me out because how do I look like or my beauty, I would say NO at the first place. The person who ask you out need to accept who you are not what you are or your out side beauty,so take it easy, be happy about how you look like, don't chase the guys then they will ignore you, be your self, and enjoy your life.

You're right, thank you.

[indie22]

You look very pretty in your photo. I'm old and I was "striking" when young and managed to get popular but it didn't come naturally. I didn't have a great body, not big boobs, which is more important now than it was then. But over the years, I have learned a few things I could have done differently and attracted more men. I have a serious face unless I'm really laughing. I think I look goofy when laughing, but it puts people at ease and what other people see isn't the look we give ourselves in the bathroom mirror before leaving every morning. They see our 3D, smiling, not smiling, side view, etc.

 

If I had to do it over again, I'd smile really big and toothy a LOT more. I was in my late 30s before a cute guy I did business with, drunk, let me know that he'd found me intimidating and it was more about not smiling enough than anything. Since then, I stumbled upon a facial expression that also works to make me look approachable and that is raising both my eyebrows way up and looking at someone. By your photo, I think you need to smile more. And don't just smile at guys that are cute but practice smiling on everyone and let it become natural. Focus on looking open and casual and friendly.

 

The other things I learned were about clothes. I was what you might call a self-made low-budget fashion plate. Within my subculture, which was music, I was considered a creative dresser and one guy who knew how broke I was at the time told me I always looked like a million dollars. I was into glamorous fabrics I got secondhand and tweaked to be in a rock style or even a pre-goth style. I mostly wore black. And that was fine, but the one thing I needed to do is I tended to love high collars and I needed to wear some v-necks or scoop necks and show some skin. I did wear miniskirts alot, so there was always leg, but a little skin up top is what guys really like. I didn't have much cleavage to show. Don't show it all. That looks trashy. Just a little cleavage. V-neck tops, scoop tops. Bras that push them together are good, especially if you're not overly endowed.

 

I never hardly showed cleavage and the one time I did I was in my late 30s and had a jacket on over a corset-type top, and I snagged one of the hottest guys on the planet long enough for a fling. I learned that lesson too late.

 

If you have a good shape, you know, hourglass, then don't ever wear baggy clothes because guys are instinctually drawn to the hourglass shape, wither it's big or little, flat or bosomy.

 

That's it! Smile and show a little cleavage. If your figure allows, were clothes that show your waist. Just the smiling and making yourself look approachable will get you not only new guys but new friends and guys who didn't think you looked interested or are a little hesitant to speak to a stranger will think, Hey, she's friendly and talking to everybody so she won't be mean if I say hi to her.

 

And you can always go to MAC cosmetics and get a free makeup makeover just for fun.

Its spooky how much you seem like me. I love clothes and fabrics a lot! I like a lot of clothes that you would see in vogue magazine.

[Ronni_W]

You look very pretty in your photo.

preraph, I can't say for sure...but honest to G, I think yours is the "hit the nail on the head"-post of the decade...or maybe century!

 

Indie22...listen to preraph! I don't speak your guys' lingo...I SO don't that it's not even funny (pro'ly cos I must be twice the age of you two)...but it just feels as if it would be totally unwise to ignore the wisdom in this here post of hers.

I do wish you the very best of luck, and hope that you will achieve all that you desire.

[hasaquestion]

Could you tell us more? How old are you, for example?

[HappyLove]

If that's your pic. You're very pretty! Your hair is gorgeous. I think it's the simple fact that you aren't approachable.

 

I get a lot of compliments on my looks and I'm stared at a lot but I'm not approached a lot because I'm not approachable. I don't smile a lot and give a serious face because when I was younger older men always tried to get my attention so it was my protection to keep perverts away.

 

Even someone as beautiful as Angelina Jolie is even more beautiful when she smiles,with all her teeth showing.

 

Making over your wardrobe or tweaking your look is never a bad idea as long as you are true to yourself and not trying to be someone you're not. It feels great to put on a new outfit and feel good about yourself.

 

I'm hitting up a meetup event soon and I will be making a conscious effort to smile a lot more in order to be more approachable and just have a good time.

 

I'm betting you'll see a huge change if you'd smile more.

[MoreCoffee]

You are a beautiful woman and I would die with pride to take you out on the town.

[indie22]

Could you tell us more? How old are you, for example?

Hi has a question, well I am in my late 20s, I take care of myself and pursuing a career in textile design and also to become an entrepreneur.

I told myself that I would really work toward my goals and one of my most challenging goal of dating and hopefully finding true love. I have been in love before but never had a relationship . I think my head is in the right place I am focused on shy types like myself who are awkward and very intelligent. The issue is getting them to ask me out...I just really want to date nice guys and the ones I have in mind are my type they are even cute.

I know young women are VERY bold now a days but I believe in the "old fashion" way of courting.

[ascendotum]

I think my head is in the right place I am focused on shy types like myself who are awkward and very intelligent. The issue is getting them to ask me out...I just really want to date nice guys and the ones I have in mind are my type they are even cute.

I know young women are VERY bold now a days but I believe in the "old fashion" way of courting.

 

Okay so if your target market is shy+awkward+very intelligent, well you can't afford to just sit back and hope these guys hit on you. You are going to have to meet them half way and that means you need to flirt. You need to make it obvious to them that you really like them, so then they get the 'green light' that you approachable + like them, so they will feel more comfortable flirting back and actually asking you out. If you are shy and don't show any 'decent' signs of being interested in them (just chatting to them about school work often is not enough) then with them being shy and possibly having the same mindset like you (being insecure over their desirability), then opportunities for good times are getting missed on by both sides.

[indie22]

If that's your pic. You're very pretty! Your hair is gorgeous. I think it's the simple fact that you aren't approachable.

 

I get a lot of compliments on my looks and I'm stared at a lot but I'm not approached a lot because I'm not approachable. I don't smile a lot and give a serious face because when I was younger older men always tried to get my attention so it was my protection to keep perverts away.

 

Even someone as beautiful as Angelina Jolie is even more beautiful when she smiles,with all her teeth showing.

 

Making over your wardrobe or tweaking your look is never a bad idea as long as you are true to yourself and not trying to be someone you're not. It feels great to put on a new outfit and feel good about yourself.

 

I'm hitting up a meetup event soon and I will be making a conscious effort to smile a lot more in order to be more approachable and just have a good time.

 

I'm betting you'll see a huge change if you'd smile more.

I thought I replied to you, sorry! Thank you! I think I'm going to start with smiling at work and go from there with events.

[newmoon]

OK I'm think I'm an attractive woman but I don't get approached enough to find someone right for me.

 

if you are already attractive then i'd work on your internal stuff instead of outward appearance. morphing into someone else with slutty clothing and hair will just get you the wrong type(s) of attention and not men you're going to want anyway. if you're attractive then it might be something about your attitude that is off-putting to men - that 'approachability' factor. tons of pretty women go un-noticed/unapproached because they just don't appear easy to talk to or happy/smiling. focus on that stuff imo.

Edited August 23, 2014 by newmoon

[preraph]

Go to any estate or garage sales in the biggest richest homes in your area and see if you can pick up some clothes with good fabrics. Lots of times it's easier to find non-clothing fabric, like tapestry or cloth table runners and use them to trim or make something or use in your home. Antique stores often have scraps of very rich things like that. I used to find old hats that had ornate beaded/sequined hat bands and the like and cut that part off and make a bracelet or neck choker by adding a tie to it. I got a fur cloak (not sure what kind but pretty) for $20 at a mansion garage sale. It had a patched place on the back of the collar, but my hair covered that. It used to be easier to find stuff. Now there's vintage dealers grabbing it up.