Teknoe Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 So, lately, I've been in kind of a funk, admittedly. Since my last rejection back in February, I took a hit mentally, and have yet to recover from that rejection. After my latest big crush rejected me, I started to feel like I was "disgusting" or at the very least "undesirable." I know I am not, but sometimes I feel that way. Especially after the last handful of girls I've tried with have all given me the "just a friend" speech. I know it's a numbers game and you have to keep trying until one says yes, but it still hurts. The last one really stung. So tonight my bro and his wife took me out for a bday dinner. After dinner I insisted on going home. It was only 10:15, but I wanted to go home and just chill out, get my peace and quiet (if I sound old it's because I kinda am... I'm a homebody and I like my life that way. It makes it hard to find a girl then as most like to travel and many girls I know are the outdoors type. It's not that I'm a hermit, but I do like hanging around the house). Anyway, my sister-in-law insisted I go to grab some drinks with her married friend. Since they drove me, I was a prisoner. I went, and had a good time meeting this lady. I was able to talk with her in a way I can't talk with my bro or my SIL. It's just... different. Anyway, my SIL and her friend started showing me pictures of their single girl friends. A few looked cute. Next thing I know, my SIL's friend's husband swings by, and it became "Find Tek a girlfriend" hour. The attention was nice, I suppose, but the crazy thing is they took a picture of me, and were sending it to their single friends. Then, they texted their single girl friends to see who's available for a get together tomorrow night. It looks like I'm going out tomorrow night, haha. No pressure I hope. I just wanna meet these girls under no pressure. But yeah, pretty crazy to think if I had just gone home it would have been the same ole same ole. I would have thrown on a movie via Netflix, shower at midnight, browse my various message boards for an hour or so, maybe play a game, and then head to bed around 3 AM. Instead, I ended up coming home at 1:45 AM and met a married couple I never met before (who I liked) and now I'm going to a "singles party" tomorrow with a few married folks included. So I guess the morale of this story is... put yourself out there and step outside your comfort zone. You might meet someone special. And even if not, I have to admit just from a general social standpoint, tonight was a nice change of pace for me where I was out with friends. Lately I've been keeping to myself and feeling kinda down. Driving home tonight, I felt a different kind of "alive" energy I have not felt in a decent while. It was just nice to meet new people and spend some social time on a Friday night rather than what has become my usual routine as of late. I feel like I'm starting to turn a small corner here, potential GF tomorrow or not. Tonight was a step in the right direction, and that's all that matters, end goal or results be damned. I share all this in hopes that it speaks to someone who might be going through a similar "slump" situation/isolating oneself a bit too much. Hope this post reached somebody out there! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Everything about that is awesome, especially that your friends care so much about you and think you're so great they want to introduce you to their friends and hang out with you. I know what you mean about just wanting to go home. Even when young, my urge to go see music and my urge to just veg at home were fighting with each other. Music won, but now I'm older, going home wins. I even mostly work at home and like nothing better than watching tv with my dogs. Each to his own. But you need some memories to reflect back on when you get to be middle aged, so make yourself get out there and meet people and have relationships and have fun for as long as you enjoy it, and I hope you meet someone special in the process. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teknoe Posted July 26, 2014 Author Share Posted July 26, 2014 Everything about that is awesome, especially that your friends care so much about you and think you're so great they want to introduce you to their friends and hang out with you. I know what you mean about just wanting to go home. Even when young, my urge to go see music and my urge to just veg at home were fighting with each other. Music won, but now I'm older, going home wins. I even mostly work at home and like nothing better than watching tv with my dogs. Each to his own. But you need some memories to reflect back on when you get to be middle aged, so make yourself get out there and meet people and have relationships and have fun for as long as you enjoy it, and I hope you meet someone special in the process. Thanks. Yeah, I hear ya on the memories part. While I acknowledge it would be nice to look back on one's younger years with fond memories of doing more than just vegging out, there's a part of me that like you said has to fight it because it's so simple, safe and easy. The people last night were actually not my friends. This married couple and I just met! So I don't consider them friends. I understand married couples like to play matchmaker for their friends. But I appreciate their gesture nevertheless. My bro and fiancee "kidnapped" me and they said "We're trying to give you some stories to tell." After all, I'm giving the best man speech in October and honestly, I'm not too sure what to say right now, haha. I mean, we hang out quite a bit, but the 3 of us usually just lounge around anyway. Last night was def. something different. Not sure I'll talk about it in the speech, though, lol. Speaking of which, I got 2 and a half months to lose hopefully 10 pounds and trim down a bit more All eyes will be on me and I want to look good and confident. Losing 10 pounds will help that a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Aw, you'll be fine. I had to give a eulogy for a friend once and I had had writer's block for 10 years and was really worried about it, but what I did was I let my subconscious take over. I laid in bed (where I was most comfortable) with a pad of paper and closed my eyes and didn't TRY to write anything, but just started writing whatever came to mind, and at first it wasn't even about the dearly departed, but then it went there and came out more or less a poem and it made all his friends cry it was all so true. Then I just read that rather than try to speak extemporaneously. You'll probably meet more people at the wedding too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teknoe Posted August 1, 2014 Author Share Posted August 1, 2014 Oh I'm not too worried about giving the speech. (It's moreso I want to look as fit as possible, haha). I was a theatre arts minor, and consider myself to be a pretty good public speaker/storyteller when it's go time (and I say that as humbly as I can). I might be a little rusty now compared to when I was 22-ish and REALLY involved in acting, but it's like riding a bike. Once you get your opening line out the rest becomes a bit easier. Update: The Saturday get together ended up not happening. But, we're planning a potluck later tonight. So, we'll see how that goes. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 You are very blessed indeed. Many people have hundreds even thousands of friends and not one of those friends would help them the way yours have. Good luck to you. I hope you have a great night! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teknoe Posted August 3, 2014 Author Share Posted August 3, 2014 You are very blessed indeed. Many people have hundreds even thousands of friends and not one of those friends would help them the way yours have. Good luck to you. I hope you have a great night! Thanks, Happy. Well, the potluck happened Friday night. It started out a bit slow, and even a little awkward I felt, but I did my best to make the best of it. Gave the evening a chance and once we wrapped up dinner we played partners "Monopoly Empire." Losing team had to take a shot of pineapple vodka. I'm normally not a drinker, but when my team lost and they said "C'mon Tek, it's the rules" I grabbed that shot glass and downed that sucker. I can't say I'm a fan of drinking, but I noticed it did make things more... "festive" lol. Overall, it was actually a fun evening. The girl wasn't my type, but that's OK. I kinda had a feeling going in that it would turn out that way, and once that was confirmed, I just told myself to try and have a good time regardless. I've been staying home on Friday nights too much anyway, so it was nice to get out for a change and be social, rather than staying in and watching sports and a movie by myself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 Thanks, Happy. Well, the potluck happened Friday night. It started out a bit slow, and even a little awkward I felt, but I did my best to make the best of it. Gave the evening a chance and once we wrapped up dinner we played partners "Monopoly Empire." Losing team had to take a shot of pineapple vodka. I'm normally not a drinker, but when my team lost and they said "C'mon Tek, it's the rules" I grabbed that shot glass and downed that sucker. I can't say I'm a fan of drinking, but I noticed it did make things more... "festive" lol. Overall, it was actually a fun evening. The girl wasn't my type, but that's OK. I kinda had a feeling going in that it would turn out that way, and once that was confirmed, I just told myself to try and have a good time regardless. I've been staying home on Friday nights too much anyway, so it was nice to get out for a change and be social, rather than staying in and watching sports and a movie by myself. Glad you had fun. Keep going at it! Link to post Share on other sites
Polak Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 This was great to read! Props to your bro & his fiancee for dragging you out.... you know they just want the best for you. And glad to hear you had fun! Having an open mind is the best way to go about those excursions haha Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teknoe Posted August 10, 2014 Author Share Posted August 10, 2014 This was great to read! Props to your bro & his fiancee for dragging you out.... you know they just want the best for you. And glad to hear you had fun! Having an open mind is the best way to go about those excursions haha Thanks. I'll go again in the future if the invite is extended. The board game-drink-if-you-lose made the evening. Before that, it was just awkward-ish small talk in a stranger's apartment. Gutted through it and it got better before I knew it. Wouldn't want to do it every weekend, but the odd weekend here and there would be good for me. Link to post Share on other sites
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