irc333 Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I've seen attempts at the aforementioned title of this post. People go out as a group of friends and a man takes a shine to a certain woman he likes. Of course he makes it a point to sit next to her and then decides to pick up her tab. Of course, the awkward ensues as she politely refuses, but, is this honestly an option to show you like a woman is by picking up her tab amongst a group of friends or is it an act of desperation? Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 What? Unless you're already dating, I would say it's an act of desperation. Particularly if there isn't a conversation about it before hand! 7 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 It is a bit too awkward for the limited return on investment. While you are sitting there, invite her out to dinner just the two of you instead. Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I've got to agree with the "act of desperation" comment. If you aren't dating, you're under no obligation to pay for her. And offering to pay in that situation is a classic "nice guy who does nice things in hopes of some sort of reciprocal attraction" move. "If I pay for her then she'll have to like me." It doesn't work like that. How old are these people you hang out with? Half the situations you describe sound like they're in grade school. "People go out as a group of friends and a man takes a shine to a certain woman he likes. Of course he makes it a point to sit next to her." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 What would impress her, and not look desperate, is picking up the check for the entire table! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I come from a culture where it's common for men to pay for women - and no, I've never seen ANYone do that for a woman they're not already dating, in a group situation. If they do pay, they pay for the whole table. Obviously if they're already dating then it's a different story. Waaaay desperate IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I've seen attempts at the aforementioned title of this post. People go out as a group of friends and a man takes a shine to a certain woman he likes. Of course he makes it a point to sit next to her and then decides to pick up her tab. Of course, the awkward ensues as she politely refuses, but, is this honestly an option to show you like a woman is by picking up her tab amongst a group of friends or is it an act of desperation? Group things are group things, IMO, where each handles their own; however, if I 'took a shine' to a lady that wouldn't preclude me from spending some time with her and asking her out on a date where I would 'pay for a woman's meal' or whatever else we were doing. To me, that's clear and unambiguous. Perhaps old-fashioned but that's how it goes. I really don't care what other guys do in that regard. If they want to pay for women's meals, for whatever reason, go for it. Enjoy! Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 I'd ask her to pay for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 I think it would be presumptuous in the extreme to pay the food tab of a woman who hasn't agreed to a date. But then I still think it's creepy when strangers try to buy women drinks at a bar from afar before they've even talked to her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 If a guy was really sweet to me all evening and the attraction was mutual, I'd think it was very cute because he would be basically open about his attraction in front of the whole group. Rather than paying it cool. I would say that would be very refreshing, especially if it was just for a slice of pizza or some other nominal thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 If a guy was really sweet to me all evening and the attraction was mutual, I'd think it was very cute because he would be basically open about his attraction in front of the whole group. Rather than paying it cool. I would say that would be very refreshing, especially if it was just for a slice of pizza or some other nominal thing. Meh, but chances are it makes the woman uncomfortable. Most women don't like being put on the spot in front of a crowd. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Meh, but chances are it makes the woman uncomfortable. Most women don't like being put on the spot in front of a crowd. It certainly takes skill to gauge what she is comfortable with. Link to post Share on other sites
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