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How is a cold approach actually supposed to work?


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I was walking on campus today and I saw a cute girl who had absolutely phenomenal breasts. She was completely my type, more than just her breasts.

 

My whole thought process was, "Wow she has huge boobs. I wonder what she looks like naked? Maybe I should talk to her?"

 

And that was it.

 

I didn't know the girl at all and I've never seen her before. The whole reason I would have for approaching her was because of her breasts. Should that be enough for me to go up to her?

 

Pretending that it was, what would I say to her?

 

I'm afraid that an opener of, "You have an amazing rack. May I squeeze your breasts?" isn't going to get me far.

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AnthonyLorenzo
I'm afraid that an opener of, "You have an amazing rack. May I squeeze your breasts?" isn't going to get me far.

 

 

Well at least you know what NOT to say:lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

For me it doesn't matter what the reason is for being attracted to a lady. If your attracted than talk to her.

 

In this situation I would have walked up to her from her side, not from the front or back of her, and told her I found her "attractive" and I just wanted to talk to her. The word "attractive" is a very safe and honest word in this situation. Of course you need to have things, other than her breasts, in your mind to continue the conversation. Maybe an example would be asking her what she thinks about your wardrobe and make sure you actually listen to her answer. Her answer will give you more subjects to talk about.

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my problem is a combination of not having the confidence to do it and the right thing to say. but yeah at least you know what not to say, unless you want to be slapped!

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todreaminblue

to me approaching someone you dont know is like approaching a friend you havent talked to in a while.....or a long lost brother or sister...you just say hey..im soemdude and seeing wherever you are there is a purpose for you being there you are on campus so ask her what she is studying

 

 

one thing on cold approach that makes me think and start a convo is when a guy says "hey im such and such you look familiar have we met before ...seeing as i am what i consider a multiple personality chances are i probably have met them so ill say i dont remember meeting you sorry my curiosity though wins over....ill say im deb.., i might have met you, where are you from? .......the conversation goes from there...guys who say this to me are normally confident and the conversations last a while

 

if a guy came up to me and said hey i wanted to talk to you i think you are attractive......i would say why do you think i am attractive.....a guy recently who i dated opener was i think you are pretty ....i said why do you think i am pretty and he said i love your tummy and i said yeah its my pod...i said i cant tell if you are attractive r not because i cant see your eyes with those huge sunnies on..warning bells did go off.......with the words said from my heart "heres trouble"......he looked a bit like one of my exes though familiar to me so i talked to him.........and ended up dating him...and...just broke up with him........

 

 

you look familiar to me have we met.....is a good non invasive opener that makes you think....most people would pause and think not putting up walls because unconsciously you feel you may have met and you survived so whats the harm in chatting ......and their interest level is up there......good luck.....dont think about her breasts when you talk to her...because unconsciously maybe....your eyes are going to focus on them...and the convo will be short lived i feel......deb

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Not sure exactly what would make a good approach either, considering I have never been cold approached and my own attempts at approaches backfired.

 

I CAN however, offer help on what is NOT a good way to approach.

 

 

A friend of mine told me she got approached TWICE in the grocery store the other day (which boggled me haha). I guess both of went up to her and asked for her number. Didn't really even try to conversate much, just asked for her number. It put her off and neither got her number.

 

 

So that's an example of being TOO cold. Definitely don't be that straightforward in a cold approach.

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you look familiar to me have we met.....is a good non invasive opener that makes you think....most people would pause and think not putting up walls because unconsciously you feel you may have met and you survived so whats the harm in chatting ......and their interest level is up there......good luck.....dont think about her breasts when you talk to her...because unconsciously maybe....your eyes are going to focus on them...and the convo will be short lived i feel......deb

 

I think this sounds like a good technique

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todreaminblue
I think this sounds like a good technique

 

 

i think what you said is true phoe asking for a phone number off the bat is a bit rude and its invasive if you dont know them i wouldnt give it.............deb

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Well at least you know what NOT to say:lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

For me it doesn't matter what the reason is for being attracted to a lady. If your attracted than talk to her.

So the reason doesn't matter at all for you as long as you found her attractive?

In this situation I would have walked up to her from her side, not from the front or back of her, and told her I found her "attractive" and I just wanted to talk to her. The word "attractive" is a very safe and honest word in this situation. Of course you need to have things, other than her breasts, in your mind to continue the conversation. Maybe an example would be asking her what she thinks about your wardrobe and make sure you actually listen to her answer. Her answer will give you more subjects to talk about.

Approach her from the side? How would I pull that off if I'm walking and notice her coming in my direction? Would I have to run around her, and find a place where I can approach her from the side?

 

Finding things to talk to her about and have a conversation seems really difficult.

 

my problem is a combination of not having the confidence to do it and the right thing to say. but yeah at least you know what not to say, unless you want to be slapped!

Yeah I have the same issue to. Though my main problem is not knowing what to say.

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to me approaching someone you dont know is like approaching a friend you havent talked to in a while.....or a long lost brother or sister...you just say hey..im soemdude and seeing wherever you are there is a purpose for you being there you are on campus so ask her what she is studying

 

 

one thing on cold approach that makes me think and start a convo is when a guy says "hey im such and such you look familiar have we met before ...seeing as i am what i consider a multiple personality chances are i probably have met them so ill say i dont remember meeting you sorry my curiosity though wins over....ill say im deb.., i might have met you, where are you from? .......the conversation goes from there...guys who say this to me are normally confident and the conversations last a while

 

if a guy came up to me and said hey i wanted to talk to you i think you are attractive......i would say why do you think i am attractive.....a guy recently who i dated opener was i think you are pretty ....i said why do you think i am pretty and he said i love your tummy and i said yeah its my pod...i said i cant tell if you are attractive r not because i cant see your eyes with those huge sunnies on..warning bells did go off.......with the words said from my heart "heres trouble"......he looked a bit like one of my exes though familiar to me so i talked to him.........and ended up dating him...and...just broke up with him........

 

 

you look familiar to me have we met.....is a good non invasive opener that makes you think....most people would pause and think not putting up walls because unconsciously you feel you may have met and you survived so whats the harm in chatting ......and their interest level is up there......good luck.....dont think about her breasts when you talk to her...because unconsciously maybe....your eyes are going to focus on them...and the convo will be short lived i feel......deb

That actually sounds pretty cool.

 

Going up to a girl and saying, "Hi you look familiar, have we met before?" Where could I go from there?

 

Maybe I could add, "Have you ever taken a dance on campus? I take them all the time."

 

Assuming she says no, I'm not that sure about what I should say next.

 

Would it be OK to mention anything about her being attractive?

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Not sure exactly what would make a good approach either, considering I have never been cold approached and my own attempts at approaches backfired.

 

I CAN however, offer help on what is NOT a good way to approach.

 

 

A friend of mine told me she got approached TWICE in the grocery store the other day (which boggled me haha). I guess both of went up to her and asked for her number. Didn't really even try to conversate much, just asked for her number. It put her off and neither got her number.

 

 

So that's an example of being TOO cold. Definitely don't be that straightforward in a cold approach.

That's really awkward, yet I've seen it being done. It never works.

 

I know that I have to make a woman want to give me her number for some reason. Unless a guy is ridiculously good looking, I can't see a woman giving her number if he barely said anything to her.

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todreaminblue
That actually sounds pretty cool.

 

Going up to a girl and saying, "Hi you look familiar, have we met before?" Where could I go from there?

 

Maybe I could add, "Have you ever taken a dance on campus? I take them all the time."

 

Assuming she says no, I'm not that sure about what I should say next.

 

Would it be OK to mention anything about her being attractive?

 

 

some women like it somedude some women dont so its a risk talking about physical appearance she might get it all the time for the exact same reason you noticed her others have too.,......i would say no dont say i think your attractive..........to me its like a wolf whistle in words......smilin....

 

the dance is a good idea if it sparks a convo ill tell you why......leaves an opening later for a further meet up.....

 

 

if she says no you could ask her what she is studying.....because if she isnt going to dances she is probably more interested in studying yes.....clever girl deb........;0)........and send a little eprayer that you know a little about her subject she is going to say......if you dotn know a damn thing then that is the perfect opener for you to ask her questions about the course....dotn lose it here........what the course entails......etc......then instead of asking about the dance say hey maybe we could study together tomorrow if youre not busy....im doing an assignment on such and such i want to get some books how about we meet in the library do you have any assignments due....its public non threatening and warm........if she does go to dances talk about the last one you went to throw in a joke or two and then ask about her field of study how she is finding it get to know how she feels about her field of study, if she is interested in you she will share her passion and continue th econversation........talk about your study at the end of the convo say hey its been cool talking to you....maybe we can catch up again.....if she says yes that would be cool....say maybe the next dance if you feel up to it.....or wait till you runinto her again ...you no k now what and where she studies......shouldnt be too hard to find a reason to be near to do another approach she will be open and receptive to that approach...as you werent invasive.....and laid back..interested in her and her you..cool banannas...smilin...good luck...........deb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.....

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some women like it somedude some women dont so its a risk talking about physical appearance she might get it all the time for the exact same reason you noticed her others have too.,......i would say no dont say i think your attractive..........to me its like a wolf whistle in words......smilin....

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that I noticed her breasts, or that if she's really attractive, other men have too.

 

Generally I know that it's pointless to tell a pretty girl that she's pretty, because she knows it already, and countless men have said it to her. That stuff is better off saved for when I at least get a date with her.

 

the dance is a good idea if it sparks a convo ill tell you why......leaves an opening later for a further meet up.....

 

 

if she says no you could ask her what she is studying.....because if she isnt going to dances she is probably more interested in studying yes.....clever girl deb........;0)........and send a little eprayer that you know a little about her subject she is going to say......if you dotn know a damn thing then that is the perfect opener for you to ask her questions about the course....dotn lose it here........what the course entails......etc....

So then you are suggesting to complete drop the "have we met" topic, and the "have you taken a dance class" topic?

 

Here's how I'm imagining it, assuming that the girl plays along.

 

I'm being bold. Get it? :p

 

------------------------------

Hi you look familiar, have we met before?

 

Um, hi. I don't know

 

Have you ever taken a dance class on campus. I think I saw you in one of them.

 

No, I've never taken one of those.

 

Ah, oh well. What's your major?

 

Biochemical engineering.

 

-----------------------------------------------------

 

Looking over what I wrote, the transition to her major seems too abrupt.

 

 

.

.then instead of asking about the dance say hey maybe we could study together tomorrow if youre not busy....im doing an assignment on such and such i want to get some books how about we meet in the library do you have any assignments due....its public non threatening and warm
So you're suggesting to study together in the library while we're in completely different courses?

 

This is where I'm starting to get unsure.

 

 

........if she does go to dances talk about the last one you went to throw in a joke or two and then ask about her field of study how she is finding it get to know how she feels about her field of study, if she is interested in you she will share her passion and continue th econversation........talk about your study at the end of the convo say hey its been cool talking to you....maybe we can catch up again.....if she says yes that would be cool....say maybe the next dance if you feel up to it.....or wait till you runinto her again ...you no k now what and where she studies......shouldnt be too hard to find a reason to be near to do another approach she will be open and receptive to that approach...as you werent invasive.....and laid back..interested in her and her you..cool banannas...smilin...good luck...........deb
"Hey, it's been cool talking to you, maybe we can catch up again?" If she says yes, that's when I'd ask for her number?
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AnthonyLorenzo

When it comes to approach from the side, most of the time when you see someone you want to approach, by the time you actually go for it they have already passed you so you have to catch up to them from the back. Once you are about 5 or so feet away, make a large loop to either side effectively approaching from the side. This way she can see you coming and you won't scare her. Approaching from the front is possible, but you need quite a bit of confidence for that. Once your at her side, continue walking with her side by side like you have been walking together for a while.

 

Doesn't matter what the attraction is, attraction is attraction. All you have to do is recognize it. This is your inner self telling your outer self to so something.

 

 

to me approaching someone you dont know is like approaching a friend you havent talked to in a while.....or a long lost brother or sister...you just say hey..im soemdude and seeing wherever you are there is a purpose for you being there you are on campus so ask her what she is studying

 

 

one thing on cold approach that makes me think and start a convo is when a guy says "hey im such and such you look familiar have we met before ...seeing as i am what i consider a multiple personality chances are i probably have met them so ill say i dont remember meeting you sorry my curiosity though wins over....ill say im deb.., i might have met you, where are you from? .......the conversation goes from there...guys who say this to me are normally confident and the conversations last a while

 

if a guy came up to me and said hey i wanted to talk to you i think you are attractive......i would say why do you think i am attractive.....a guy recently who i dated opener was i think you are pretty ....i said why do you think i am pretty and he said i love your tummy and i said yeah its my pod...i said i cant tell if you are attractive r not because i cant see your eyes with those huge sunnies on..warning bells did go off.......with the words said from my heart "heres trouble"......he looked a bit like one of my exes though familiar to me so i talked to him.........and ended up dating him...and...just broke up with him........

 

 

you look familiar to me have we met.....is a good non invasive opener that makes you think....most people would pause and think not putting up walls because unconsciously you feel you may have met and you survived so whats the harm in chatting ......and their interest level is up there......good luck.....dont think about her breasts when you talk to her...because unconsciously maybe....your eyes are going to focus on them...and the convo will be short lived i feel......deb

 

Clearly it is always a better idea to get advise from a lady when the subject is about a lady. This is great advise. I am always looking for a convo starter.

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lollipopspot
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that I noticed her breasts, or that if she's really attractive, other men have too.

 

Generally I know that it's pointless to tell a pretty girl that she's pretty, because she knows it already, and countless men have said it to her. That stuff is better off saved for when I at least get a date with her.

 

Don't assume that. A lot of attractive women don't feel attractive and don't get told that.

 

"Hey, it's been cool talking to you, maybe we can catch up again?" If she says yes, that's when I'd ask for her number?

 

If she hesitates then I would give her your number and say to call or text you anytime - you understand she might not feel comfortable giving out her number - and you want to get to know her better. Just be casual.

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endlessabyss

Cold approach is going to fail nine times out of ten.

 

If I was you I'd just make a simple observation, and make a nice compliment. After that she'll either want to chat, or will just say thanks and go on her way.

 

Either way, doing that is a win win.

 

But, whatever you do, don't tell a female they're beautiful, or some other strong adjective initially. Comment on something like their outfit, or some piece of jewelry they're wearing.

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Cold approach is going to fail nine times out of ten.

 

If I was you I'd just make a simple observation, and make a nice compliment. After that she'll either want to chat, or will just say thanks and go on her way.

 

Either way, doing that is a win win.

 

But, whatever you do, don't tell a female they're beautiful, or some other strong adjective initially. Comment on something like their outfit, or some piece of jewelry they're wearing.

 

Gotta disagree with these points.

 

I know plenty of people who can cold approach on the whim and walk away with a number and if the night is right sometimes a kiss.

 

It's obviously how you go about it, but complimenting on apparel is playing it safe and is DEFINITELY going to put you in a boring category, which is unattractive.

 

A simple "Hey I thought you were very attractive and I wanted to talk to you" beats "Hey I like your necklace" anyway. No need to beat around the bush.

 

IMO.

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todreaminblue
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that I noticed her breasts, or that if she's really attractive, other men have too.

 

Generally I know that it's pointless to tell a pretty girl that she's pretty, because she knows it already, and countless men have said it to her. That stuff is better off saved for when I at least get a date with her.

 

So then you are suggesting to complete drop the "have we met" topic, and the "have you taken a dance class" topic?

 

Here's how I'm imagining it, assuming that the girl plays along.

 

I'm being bold. Get it? :p

 

------------------------------

Hi you look familiar, have we met before?

 

Um, hi. I don't know

 

Have you ever taken a dance class on campus. I think I saw you in one of them.

 

No, I've never taken one of those.

 

Ah, oh well. What's your major?

 

Biochemical engineering.

 

-----------------------------------------------------

 

Looking over what I wrote, the transition to her major seems too abrupt.

 

 

.So you're suggesting to study together in the library while we're in completely different courses?

 

This is where I'm starting to get unsure.

 

 

"Hey, it's been cool talking to you, maybe we can catch up again?" If she says yes, that's when I'd ask for her number?

 

 

Have you ever taken a dance class on campus. I think I saw you in one of them.

 

No, I've never taken one of those.

 

 

 

 

oh i coudl have sworn it was you you must have a look a like.......you shoudl seriously check the dance class out if you haven't it actually is a really fun class and it helps relieves stress......

 

 

 

so what s your major.....

 

 

bio chemical engineering.

 

 

ask questions here

 

 

how you finding the work load.......

 

 

 

she might say i have this assignment due stressing about it or its pretty tough.....(to me this is logical studious students always have assignments due and want to do well)

 

 

say i am majoring in such.....and say what assignment you have coming up..,.....say hey i was goign to do soem research at the library thsi week how about we do some together

 

fidn soem books for you on (bio chemical asignment)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i think there was enough stimulation for that talk........enough interaction....its time to be chill....and wait for the second meet up..but that is my opinion....to me dont prolong the talk if you have been talking for a while......give her time to process..if anything as another psoter sadi offer her your phone number so she can confirm a time you guys can meet...put it to her and put the ball in her court......be confident she will call.....and so she wont think is this guy going to talk to me in about half an hour for two hours if she gives you her number.......smilin.......ok that would be what i would think because i always seem to have long phone conversations with guys but thats partly me because i always can make a conversation go on and on and on.......lol.....deb

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endlessabyss
Gotta disagree with these points.

 

I know plenty of people who can cold approach on the whim and walk away with a number and if the night is right sometimes a kiss.

 

It's obviously how you go about it, but complimenting on apparel is playing it safe and is DEFINITELY going to put you in a boring category, which is unattractive.

 

A simple "Hey I thought you were very attractive and I wanted to talk to you" beats "Hey I like your necklace" anyway. No need to beat around the bush.

 

IMO.

 

 

lol @ all this mess.

 

I'm not talking about taking advantage of drunk girls at the night club. That takes no skill at all.

 

Commenting on looks is horrible advice. It's common and boring. Just think about how many betas approached that girl, and said "You're attractive".

 

Nothing makes me cringe harder. You have to be a little more creative than that. Just went out on a date the other night, and commented on the girls bracelet, and it lead into a very interesting story.

 

Overall, your rebuttal was a 2/10.

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lol @ all this mess.

 

I'm not talking about taking advantage of drunk girls at the night club. That takes no skill at all.

 

Commenting on looks is horrible advice. It's common and boring. Just think about how many betas approached that girl, and said "You're attractive".

 

Nothing makes me cringe harder. You have to be a little more creative than that. Just went out on a date the other night, and commented on the girls bracelet, and it lead into a very interesting story.

 

Overall, your rebuttal was a 2/10.

 

 

Why are you getting so butt hurt? It's not like I was attacking you or anything. I just disagreed with your method and gave you my opinion.

 

Your method isn't a one size fits all way of doing it and neither is mine.

 

Just different ways of doing it.

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endlessabyss
Why are you getting so butt hurt? It's not like I was attacking you or anything. I just disagreed with your method and gave you my opinion.

 

Your method isn't a one size fits all way of doing it and neither is mine.

 

Just different ways of doing it.

 

 

You said my way of doing things is "playing it safe" and "unattractive".

 

I assure it isn't. Take it from someone who's, most likely, had more experience with women than you, junior.

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When it comes to approach from the side, most of the time when you see someone you want to approach, by the time you actually go for it they have already passed you so you have to catch up to them from the back. Once you are about 5 or so feet away, make a large loop to either side effectively approaching from the side. This way she can see you coming and you won't scare her. Approaching from the front is possible, but you need quite a bit of confidence for that. Once your at her side, continue walking with her side by side like you have been walking together for a while.

 

Doesn't matter what the attraction is, attraction is attraction. All you have to do is recognize it. This is your inner self telling your outer self to so something.

Ah, now I see what you were talking about. It's not a good idea to approach a lady from the back. I definitely don't want to scare anybody.

 

Also if I approach from the sideish, it's easier to just walk with her instead of making her stop.

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You said my way of doing things is "playing it safe" and "unattractive".

 

I assure it isn't. Take it from someone who's, most likely, had more experience with women than you, junior.

 

Keep doing what you're doing. I never said it was right or wrong. If it works for you, then do it. I'm not trying to stop you let alone have petty fights.

 

You can't belittle people and try to sound superior just because they have different ways of doing things.

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AnthonyLorenzo

IMO it doesn't matter what you say, what matters the most is your state of mind when you do it. If you are confident enough and have the right attitude, you could probably pull off complimenting her breasts.

 

I have personally said some rediculously stupid things to ladies and because I was in a great mood and didn't really care what she thought of me, I still got a great response. And no none of them had been drinking. It was a dare from a buddy of mine but one time I approached a 9 and commented on her dry skin. She was thrown off a bit but altimately I just kept my genuine smile and bantered a bit and the rest is good times. Stop worrying about the details and just have fun with it.

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lollipopspot

Just so you know, SD, even if I didn't like the guy and didn't want to go out with him, I would definitely give him credit for putting himself out there, as long as he wasn't overly aggressive or pushy about it (i.e. be sensitive to how it is going). I wouldn't walk away laughing at the guy, I'd admire his courage.

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IMO it doesn't matter what you say, what matters the most is your state of mind when you do it. If you are confident enough and have the right attitude, you could probably pull off complimenting her breasts.

 

I have personally said some rediculously stupid things to ladies and because I was in a great mood and didn't really care what she thought of me, I still got a great response. And no none of them had been drinking. It was a dare from a buddy of mine but one time I approached a 9 and commented on her dry skin. She was thrown off a bit but altimately I just kept my genuine smile and bantered a bit and the rest is good times. Stop worrying about the details and just have fun with it.

 

Right?!? I've walked up to a girl simply walking on the pier one time. And said stupid **** for my opener. You know what? It worked. She got a laugh out of it and so did I. Throughout the convo, I still continued to say stupid things, and still she kept peek interest. It's not necessarily about what you say, but how you say it.

 

Got the number and went out multiple times. It didn't go anywhere, but I mad a great friend whom I keep in touch with.

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