BarackObama Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Hi all, I'm 26yr old male and never been in a relationship, never kissed a woman. At this age, Can i change myself to be more noticable to women? Link to post Share on other sites
Tressugar Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Oh Hello Mr. President! I am a long time supporter of yours and thank you for doing your best! Now to answer your question, just be you! I know it sounds corny, but it's the truth! You're young, so I would hit up the mall to meet attractive young women and ask them for a date. Oh by the way, Mr President, you already got swag! Link to post Share on other sites
RonaldS Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Had I known you had never kissed a girl, I never would have voted for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Can i change myself to be more noticable to women? Typically in western society women get "noticed," men pursue. If a woman likes you, she's probably trying to get you to notice her and then act on it. You need to be proactive. I'm sure there's more to your situation but you haven't really elaborated all that much, we'll need some more details. Link to post Share on other sites
bryceisbryce Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Even if a woman does notice you, there's a huge chance she won't strike up a conversation. Most women expect men to pursue them. I'm guessing you have a huge fear of rejection. My advice is to learn the subtle signs that women give to show that their interested and then strike up conversations with women that show interest. I also strongly suggest getting over your fear of rejection(if you have one). We all get rejected. Just don't take it personal and go on to the next one. No reason to get your feelings hurt over a woman you know nothing about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BarackObama Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 Thank you all for replying. Here's the background. Growing up, I was fat and shy kid. In school, I was mocked, bullied because of my weight. This had a bad effect on my social skills, I barely talk with anyone and can count the number of times I have talked to female. In college too, I was the awkard loner kid. I don't have facebook/insta or any other social networking apps. I can't handle rejection which is funny because I never proposed anyone. I just want to cuddle with a female lol. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 (edited) You can. Anyone can put forth a more interesting personnae. First you have to know who you are and who you want to be. Then you start making baby steps to present yourself as the person you want to become -and in doing so, you begin to actually change and become the new you. Remember people are mostly judging based on what they can see at first, so it's very important to have what they see reflect how you want people to see you. This may mean going to the menswear department of a nice department store and asking for a stylist to advise you. You can tell them, I want a kind of upscale sport-casual look, or I want a hipster look or I like so and so's style, but I don't have a lot to spend. They can help you put together at least one outfit for when you want to look your best and convey your best side. Same thing with haircuts. Go get a good haircut by a creative stylist frequently. If you relate to a certain look, take a photo so they can get what you're after. If you really have no clue, tell them "I want a new look. I want to look (sporty, modern, hip, musiciany, Wall Street)" and let them see what they can do. If you have skin problems, go to a dermatologist. They can fix just about anything these days. Then as for what's inside, keep yourself informed about current events, entertainment news as well as world news, local news, involve yourself in a favorite charity, do volunteer work one hour a week, maybe. If you need a career change, start taking night classes to prepare for that. Go out and do the things you love most. Make it a point to read at least one book a month, and read all different types of books to expand your knowledge. All of these things are calculated to make you a more plugged-in, interesting person who can talk to anyone about anything and also to put you in contact with the people who you have the most in common with. Making yourself more interesting is a real-life project. It's not about writing a better profile for OLD! Edited April 13, 2014 by preraph 3 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 You're doing OK Barack. Pretty soon from now you will meet a woman named Michele, she's the one for you. Don't bother with any other women, it will never work. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Get to the gym and transform your body in to a Greek god. Have an appropriate style of clothes. Be warm and friendly. And people will notice you. Link to post Share on other sites
zebracolors Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 I can't handle rejection which is funny because I never proposed anyone. I just want to cuddle with a female lol. This really shouldn't be your only reason for wanting to interact with women, that just kind of sounds desperate. And by the way you'll never get over that hurdle if the fear of rejection always keeps you from trying to talk to women. If you are proactive and follow the great advice given here, you can start to feel better about your appearance, nothing wrong with taking some pride in that. And maybe feel more confident. I'd suggest first trying to just expand your social circles, get out there into activity groups and make friends without the expectation of looking for a woman to court. Just build the courage to talk to anyone first. Then, as you work on improving yourself, it can get easier to approach and talk to women. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Hi all, I'm 26yr old male and never been in a relationship, never kissed a woman. At this age, Can i change myself to be more noticable to women? Divorce Michelle ? Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 I used to be like that, not anymore though. I found that confidence is the most important, just being confident in yourself works wonders! Link to post Share on other sites
AnthonyLorenzo Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 I'm new here but I would like to help if I can. I have been reading as many forums as I can find about this very subject. Most people on here have good advise and even great advise. But with that said, it is all still very confusing for soooooo many guys out there. I was one of them. One of the biggest challenges I faced was the posts about being more confident. You see many posts about "You just need to be more confident!" WTF!! No one ever clearly explains HOW to do this. Not that I have found yet. A lot of guys understand what confidence is, but a whole lot more have no clue what it means. For me, confidence is being ok with having flaws. Every person on earth has flaws. The things like "I have bad acne" or " I am overweight and people have made me feel bad about it all my life". These beliefs are in many cases paralyzing issues that may feel like there is no way you can ever get past them. Totally understandable. To get through this issue for myself, I went through a lot of steps, but one of the biggest things for me was really understanding exactly whats happening when you interact with a lady. Confidence is shown when you can talk to a lady like she is already your friend. Like you have been friends for a long time. An example would be, if you have a person in your life that you consider "close" and you have no problem being your absolute self with. Like a brother or sister or best friend. It could even be an old friend you haven't talk to since grade school. The state of mind you are in with that person is "Your Natural Self". This is your confident self. That state is where you should be when you are interacting with a lady, or anyone for that matter. I know that is easier said than done. One of the things I did to get to that state of mind is take more manageable steps. Go out with a friend to a place you both consider comfortable. Somewhere you can just hang out and talk. This works great at a restaurant. Talk about things that happened in the past or funny things you did during the week. Share youtube videos. Something to get you in a "friendly" state of mind. Something to get you both laughing. Then when the waitress or waiter, doesn't matter which, gets to your table, try to get their opinion on the subject you are talking about or even get them involved in your conversation. Practice treating them like you have known them for a while. My point here is to find "manageable" steps that work for you to improve on your social dynamics. Something that gets you talking to more and more people. This is like steroids for your social life and once you learn it, you never unlearn it or lose it. So many of us give up after one or two failed attempts. I get it. Rejection sucks. Just try to remember, you are the only one that feels the rejection for more than a few seconds. You may feel like a complete failure for weeks or even months after a girl walks away from you, but she most likely won't even remember the interaction the next day. In fact you have most likely left her mind withing seconds of the interaction. She is not there to hurt you. Most of the time the rejection is "no response" and that is because it is awkward and there really isn't anything she can say back. For me this was a very hard thing to grasp, but I just kept trying different things to get comfortable interacting with people. My dating life changed a million percent when I actually figured this out for myself. I am not exaggerating either. I was pretty much in the same state as the OP and I went through living h*ll tying to figure out what I was doing wrong. Get out there and get better at talking with ladies. Even start with ladies you already know and you have no problem talking to if there is any. If not, try the restaurant thing and make sure you include waitresses. This is a good starting point because in effect they are approaching you. How much easier can it get. Don't hit on her, be her friend and don't be afraid to treat her like you have known her for years. Social dynamics is a learned skill. Good looks are just a confidence booster. If you don't have that, then you just need to use the other things you have to offer to boost your confidence. I hope this helps...... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Hi all, I'm 26yr old male and never been in a relationship, never kissed a woman. At this age, Can i change myself to be more noticable to women? Make yourself look like Buster Brown. I can't guarantee ALL women will notice you, but boy you'll sure get noticed by the ones who want kids. Link to post Share on other sites
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