Jump to content

Do good looking men lack loyalty in a relationship?


Recommended Posts

There was a recent woman that I know of, seems to have a heck of a time running into mulit- or serial daters. No telling what they could be carrying, but she seems to complain about loyalty of these very attractive, handsome, GQ guys.

 

I read some article that lesser attractive or average men tend to be much more loyal to their women, statistically than their handsome counter parts.

 

I tend to agree......what are your thoughts?

 

Of course, someone here will say, "Even ugly guys can be unfaithful" but let's get real here. :)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know, really.

To me, it seems to vary depending on a person's character and upbringing.

 

From what I've heard from my friends (The self proclaimed 'good looking ones) they have cheated plenty of times because they were bored, and knew they could get away with it because they looked 'better than average'.

 

Wheras the other portion of my friends who did have a tough time getting into a relationship for a multitude of reasons, seemed to be more loyal because they were able to appreciate it a lot more after having such difficulty with it.

 

Guess I'm part of the last category, then lol. :D

Link to post
Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper
Wheras the other portion of my friends who did have a tough time getting into a relationship for a multitude of reasons, seemed to be more loyal because they were able to appreciate it a lot more after having such difficulty with it.

 

Of course -- is it worth knocking yourself out trying to play the field when you are not very good at it? I would have loved to try multi-dating or having casual sex if I had had the opportunity but when you are not good at attracting women, you just have to go with whatever style is less unsuccessful.

 

I think women fully expect the correlation between a man's looks and his opportunities for multi-dating or straying. There have been a number of threads posted by women about how the strongest relationships are those where the woman is the better looking one because those men will have less opportunity to cheat and stay more loyal. Bucking the trend can elicit some strong responses. It's no big deal if an attractive guy isn't attracted to a particular woman -- women still respect and have a grudging attraction to such a player. But if a guy who isn't good at attracting women -- after being told to "lower his standards" -- doesn't fall in love when he finally gets a date, he's considered a bigger jerk than any of the players out there.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I read some article that lesser attractive or average men tend to be much more loyal to their women, statistically than their handsome counter parts.

 

:rolleyes: pfft, like morals and character don't run deeper than skin and a nice set of nashers!

 

Loyalty and looks are unrelated traits.

  • Like 16
Link to post
Share on other sites

Loyalty has to do with morals and character, not attractiveness.

 

People who are insecure are less likely to be loyal in relationships, and you could argue that less attractive men are more insecure and therefore less loyal.

  • Like 9
Link to post
Share on other sites
Less attractive men have fewer options so they are forced to be more loyal.

 

Possibly.

 

I know I don't want someone who is only loyal because they are forced to be. That's not even loyalty.

 

I believe if someone wants to cheat, they will find a way to cheat, regardless of what they look like.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
Less attractive men have fewer options so they are forced to be more loyal.

 

That's not my definition of loyalty!

 

Loyalty means come hell or high water not till something better comes along!

  • Like 12
Link to post
Share on other sites

Absolutely not.

 

Just because I look good does not automatically make me a scum bag.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
There was a recent woman that I know of, seems to have a heck of a time running into mulit- or serial daters. No telling what they could be carrying, but she seems to complain about loyalty of these very attractive, handsome, GQ guys.

 

I read some article that lesser attractive or average men tend to be much more loyal to their women, statistically than their handsome counter parts.

 

I tend to agree......what are your thoughts?

 

Of course, someone here will say, "Even ugly guys can be unfaithful" but let's get real here. :)

 

Just for some perspective: I have two good friends who are not GQ model-looking, but are close.

 

Both of them waited until marriage to have sex and they are now loyal husbands. Of course, their wives are also very attractive, but, still, it does happen.

 

Also, I'm good looking, but short. I don't find it particularly difficult to have casual sex, but after my experiences with women, I would NEVER cheat if I find a good one (because I know how rare good women are these days).

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
SensitiveTJ

I don't believe more attractive people are more or less loyal, but that loyalty is tested far more often. Some people have a hard time fending off the advances of others, and when you are attractive people can get aggressive in attempting to hook you. At least that's been my experience-I've had girls call me late at night, send naughty texts/pics, touch me in public, sit on my lap unexpectedly. These things happen regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not, and sometimes regardless of whether you even know them.

I can see how some guys might let that go to their head.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Some good looking men are loyal, some are not. Have to know how to recognize 'em! (and be willing to turn down from the disloyal type, regardless of good looks)

Link to post
Share on other sites
what are your thoughts?

 

Men who are widely popular and/or attractive have more opportunities to show lack of loyalty in their relationships but it boils down to each man, his role-modeling, his socialization, his peer integration and his personal philosophy of life. Judging a book by its cover lends little insight into the content.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper
People who are insecure are less likely to be loyal in relationships, and you could argue that less attractive men are more insecure and therefore less loyal.

 

Less attractive men have fewer options so they are forced to be more loyal.

 

I know I don't want someone who is only loyal because they are forced to be. That's not even loyalty.

 

So if you struggle to attract women, there's no way to prove that you are loyal unless you somehow transform yourself into someone who can attract women and then resist all of the new temptations you would experience . . .

Link to post
Share on other sites

I've known a few particularly handsome men. Usually they are cheating, lying pricks adept at manipulation and image projection.

 

But they didn't become that way independently. In all their cases, their families sucked. Usually a father who himself cheated and lied and is often long separated from the mother as a result, who they obviously model themselves after, and a mother who... isn't the sharpest tool, is a bit too fond of looking at herself in the mirror and brought a string of stepfathers into the house. Hardly presenting a strong female role model.

 

There are average and ugly dudes who get that growing up too, but they won't get women throwing themselves at them. Handed that privilege, handsome guys are often already trained to be bastards.

 

This is what you get from generations of pretty dumb girls shagging handsome dickhead guys. Funnily enough these people always love films like Grease and Dirty Dancing.

Link to post
Share on other sites
So if you struggle to attract women, there's no way to prove that you are loyal unless you somehow transform yourself into someone who can attract women and then resist all of the new temptations you would experience . . .

 

If you know you're only with someone because it's all you could get and if the opportunity presented itself, you'd be gone, that's wrong.

 

If you feel this way, it's going to negatively affect the relationship. People can tell when someone really wants to be with them and when they don't care that much.

 

I do believe less attractive men are more likely to settle for a woman they don't really want.

Link to post
Share on other sites
thecrucible

Not really. You judge people on their own merits. I'd rather get to know someone rather than make a snap judgement.

 

What annoys me most is when you get a guy that thinks he's so good-looking, that you must be automatically smitten with him just because he's hot.

 

So yes arrogance is a trait to look out for. I don't like it when people blow smoke up their own butts. What a recipe for disaster.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
So if you struggle to attract women, there's no way to prove that you are loyal unless you somehow transform yourself into someone who can attract women and then resist all of the new temptations you would experience . . .

 

I think a man can show great loyalty even if no other women are offering an opportunity to cheat.

 

Loyalty is demonstrated in how a man speaks of his wife, and his marriage. Does he disparage his wife? Make jokes about how awful marriage is? Or does he speak about her with respect and love, and about marriage positively?

 

Also, how does he look at and treat other women? Is he demonstrating desire to be with others, regardless of his ability to do so? Or does he have solid boundaries, and treat attractive women like normal people?

 

The same is true for women and loyalty, of course.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
There was a recent woman that I know of, seems to have a heck of a time running into mulit- or serial daters. No telling what they could be carrying, but she seems to complain about loyalty of these very attractive, handsome, GQ guys.

 

I read some article that lesser attractive or average men tend to be much more loyal to their women, statistically than their handsome counter parts.

 

I tend to agree......what are your thoughts?

 

Of course, someone here will say, "Even ugly guys can be unfaithful" but let's get real here. :)

 

Let's remove personality, morals, place in life, pretty much everything but looks.

 

So who has naturally more options in life, a male model or an average guy ?

Link to post
Share on other sites
thecrucible

People always look at the Actor Hugh Jackman and think his wife isn't as good-looking and why he's with her etc etc

 

Maybe he's just a stand up guy who thinks other stuff is more important than looks? And just because she's not a Hollywood starlet, doesn't mean she isn't attractive..

 

I'm probably off point but that's just an example about how people can make assumptions.

 

A guy being good looking does not make him less loyal. Really attractive people are still people. I'm not intimidated by them anymore.

 

Thinking that men are all about looks is just doing them a disservice. Obviously shallow and disloyal people exist but it's not correlated with what they look like. Not all men are looking for top totty. Some men want the real deal, no matter how good looking they are.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
organizedchaos
There was a recent woman that I know of, seems to have a heck of a time running into mulit- or serial daters. No telling what they could be carrying, but she seems to complain about loyalty of these very attractive, handsome, GQ guys.

 

I read some article that lesser attractive or average men tend to be much more loyal to their women, statistically than their handsome counter parts.

 

I tend to agree......what are your thoughts?

 

Of course, someone here will say, "Even ugly guys can be unfaithful" but let's get real here. :)

 

The old saying "You're only as faithful as your options" rings true.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
The old saying "You're only as faithful as your options" rings true.

 

Sure, if that person has no self control.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
There was a recent woman that I know of, seems to have a heck of a time running into mulit- or serial daters. No telling what they could be carrying, but she seems to complain about loyalty of these very attractive, handsome, GQ guys.

 

I read some article that lesser attractive or average men tend to be much more loyal to their women, statistically than their handsome counter parts.

 

I tend to agree......what are your thoughts?

 

Of course, someone here will say, "Even ugly guys can be unfaithful" but let's get real here. :)

 

I think I saw that article, and agree. Statistically, more attractive men will have more opportunities than less attractive men.

 

And statistically, men with larger (than average) testes are more likely to pursue a promiscuous mating strategy, whereas men with smaller testes are more likely to pursue a mate-guarding strategy. Biology influences behavior, but does not determine it (we are - or some of us are - consciously aware of our decisions!).

Link to post
Share on other sites

I know all about this subject because I've had a lot of firsthand experience and also observation experience. It's not just very attractive guys, but it's guys who have something going for them, like money or fame. In a nutshell, most men, if they get the opportunity, will play the field or cheat. My experience is with musicians, both local and international. Nearly any gigging musician has ample opportunity for multiple women and in my experience, they mostly all used that opportunity to varying degrees but mostly full-on maximum getting laid and always having one or more in the wings even when they are trying to stick with a relationship.

 

Attractive guys have that advantage just as attractive women do (but men and women use it differently). Very good looking guys, if they are not famous, are usually not very good in bed because they don't have to try. However, very good looking famous guys will be great in bed if there's any chance not doing so will mess up their reputation. What I observed is with the ones who always had girls lined up ready to do anything for no reason other than being a fan, they often just let them do it and laid back. But if there was someone more a peer or who was plugged in some way to their circle, they would be the greatest. But that didn't mean they'd not have sex with the others. Basically, famous people have a reputation to maintain and both being great in bed and being inundated with easy women benefit their personae in the rock world.

 

But not all great looking guys get that many women. When they don't, it's usually they have a big personality flaw. I dated one who was perfect on paper, came from a wealthy family, clean-cut good looks, a scholar, but he would come spend weekends (lived out of state) and it was always up to me to maintain the conversation. Other than his grad school thesis, which was way over my head, and a friend in common, we had nothing to talk about and he just wasn't an entertaining person to hang out with. So he didn't get that many women because of his low-key personality. But he married the next one after me, and I hope they're happy.

 

It's not only attractive guys who will cheat. Most guys, no matter how hard a time they've had attracting women in the past, will try to become a player if the opportunity presents itself. A good friend of mine was a very nerdy looking guy who looks now just like he did in his 20s, like a pudgy thin-haired 50 year old with glasses, but he always did have a good job. He obsessed over women and tried every way he knew to maneuver his way into their lives but failed over and over (because for one thing, he was verging on being a creeper about it). Well, he finally got accepted by a woman and had been perfectly happy going out with her over a few weeks' time and then by some miracle, somehow another woman dropped into his lap. It was like EUREKA! So now for the first time in his life he had two women to date. Now, I knew him for years, still do, and I'd have thought he would be so grateful to have the one that he'd behave himself. But noooooooo. For the first time in his life he was able to do what a lot of his friends did and juggle women and that's just what he delightedly did until they both dumped him.

 

His story does have a happy ending. He was out fixated on a woman in a group and not paying attention to any other women who might be looking at him when one who was forward enough made it known to him that she was interested, but I mean she had to practically hit him over the head with it because he was so focused on this other woman who wasn't even looking at him. Well, she "wasn't his type" but they fell madly in love and compliment each other's personalities and are still married.

 

Cheating is about opportunity for the majority of men. That doesn't mean there aren't still some out there who prefer one woman at a time and a deeper relationship. But when women are just out there fishing, they mostly get the former because the latter are usually in a relationship!

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
There was a recent woman that I know of, seems to have a heck of a time running into mulit- or serial daters. No telling what they could be carrying, but she seems to complain about loyalty of these very attractive, handsome, GQ guys.
The definition of insanity is repeating the same behaviors and hoping for different results.

 

The first problem is that she's online dating where multi and serial dating appear to be the norm. The next problem is her whining, entitled attitude, while continuing to use the most superficial mechanism for partner selection. She's not entitled to loyalty from strangers and not entitled to an attractive man.

 

I read some article that lesser attractive or average men tend to be much more loyal to their women, statistically than their handsome counter parts.

 

I tend to agree......what are your thoughts?

 

Of course, someone here will say, "Even ugly guys can be unfaithful" but let's get real here. :)

My thoughts are that multi and serial dating don't equate to unfaithfulness.
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...