notsointerested Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 I feel that girls are disgusted when they see me. I'm not overweight, I'm healthy, I dress well and have good hygiene. I feel that the reason I get rejected so many times is because they don't like my face. I have the confidence to ask girls out but it just gets annoying when every single time it results in failure. I can't change the way I look and it seems that every girl that I approach shows disinterest and it's disheartening. I've never been in a relationship before and I'm almost 21 years old, is that sad? Then I see some guys who are trying to get with the girls I like... I can't compete against these guys, I don't have a chance if a girl were to decide between me or them... They're taller, better looking, ripped body, etc... Should I just stick to ugly girls who are more 'in my league'? That's how I feel right now. Link to post Share on other sites
RonaldS Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 (edited) What you need, dude, is confidence. So, if you're turning girls off by what you contend is a broke face, probably a lot of what is making it unattractive is a lack of confidence and a lot of self-pity and loathing. That stuff shows up like a neon sign on the faces of those who are unhappy with themselves. That is the turn-off. Maybe you can't do a lot about your looks, but you can do something about how you advertise them. If your face says 'I think I'm gross', girls will think you're gross. So, you're not getting the girls you want. Maybe what you need is to have some good experiences with a girl to get some flow going. Maybe that girl isn't going to be the hottest thing on Earth, but you can have some feel-good stuff with her, and start to feel good about yourself. Maybe it could lead to more. Who knows? But get yourself in a room with a girl and work it. Confidence oozes out of confident men, and women flock to it. Confident men don't need to wear cologne. Edited April 5, 2014 by RonaldS 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author notsointerested Posted April 5, 2014 Author Share Posted April 5, 2014 But I think if a guy is physically unattractive, why would any girl like him regardless of his confidence? I do believe looks are important for what girls look in a guy Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 Well if a guy is feeling particularly vengeful, he can become an engineer and design the first lovebot to replace all the women who rejected him. Then he can give a big fat middle finger to them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 personality! or Be very funny Very rich Or very famous Other wise, just try to get unattractive girl to like you too... IF you think you are unattractive? Work on yourself, your body, your clothes, your hairstyle, your perfume, get rid of your acne Even if you needed surgical help to fix somethings, do it! Why not! Many people are doing it! Doesn't have to be an extreme change ...Just tweak somethings But all these stuff won't help if you can't love yourself and be confident of your inner beauty! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 You mentioned you are healthy? Come on. Go work on your abs and muscles. Some girls will choose any guy who has a very attractive body despite of his own face! So yeah. Go work on yourself. Work hard Link to post Share on other sites
topaMAXX Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 What you need, dude, is confidence. So, if you're turning girls off by what you contend is a broke face, probably a lot of what is making it unattractive is a lack of confidence and a lot of self-pity and loathing. That stuff shows up like a neon sign on the faces of those who are unhappy with themselves. That is the turn-off. Maybe you can't do a lot about your looks, but you can do something about how you advertise them. If your face says 'I think I'm gross', girls will think you're gross. So, you're not getting the girls you want. Maybe what you need is to have some good experiences with a girl to get some flow going. Maybe that girl isn't going to be the hottest thing on Earth, but you can have some feel-good stuff with her, and start to feel good about yourself. Maybe it could lead to more. Who knows? But get yourself in a room with a girl and work it. Confidence oozes out of confident men, and women flock to it. Confident men don't need to wear cologne. The need for game and confidence is relative to looks. The better looking you are, the less game you need. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tressugar Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 You are still young; you have your whole life ahead of you. Learn a few good jokes and be mannerable. That's the secret to winning a girl over. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 I feel that the reason I get rejected so many times is because they don't like my face... I can't change the way I look and it seems that every girl that I approach shows disinterest and it's disheartening. I've never been in a relationship before and I'm almost 21 years old, is that sad? Then I see some guys who are trying to get with the girls I like... I can't compete against these guys, I don't have a chance if a girl were to decide between me or them... They're taller, better looking, ripped body, etc... Should I just stick to ugly girls who are more 'in my league'? That's how I feel right now. I was going to ask you what is "wrong" with your face, and are you sure you can't change it. And then tell you that this does not mean you can't get a nice girlfriend... Then I see that you don't want a girlfriend who is similar to yourself. You put down 'ugly girls in your league.' Well, maybe you can get a girlfriend, but why would you expect that a woman would be any more forgiving to an unattractive man than you are towards an unattractive woman? If you're that hung up on superficial beauty, maybe you should look into plastic surgery or something. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 Different people have different tastes. They will find various men & women attractive. Once you gain some confidence, that will ratchet up your attractiveness. When you look like a Gloomy Gus who doesn't even like himself, it's harder for people to like you. Link to post Share on other sites
Do_The_Herp Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 personality! or Be very funny Very rich Or very famous Other wise, just try to get unattractive girl to like you too... IF you think you are unattractive? Work on yourself, your body, your clothes, your hairstyle, your perfume, get rid of your acne Even if you needed surgical help to fix somethings, do it! Why not! Many people are doing it! Doesn't have to be an extreme change ...Just tweak somethings But all these stuff won't help if you can't love yourself and be confident of your inner beauty! The last line would've sufficed, rather than the lengthy build up that he could've easily taken the wrong way, as none of those are actually good ideas. Of course, this is a touchy subject, but chances are the OP isn't "ugly" anyway. Maybe not physically. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Biscous Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 Ha I see it all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 (edited) The last line would've sufficed, rather than the lengthy build up that he could've easily taken the wrong way, as none of those are actually good ideas. Of course, this is a touchy subject, but chances are the OP isn't "ugly" anyway. Maybe not physically. lol If he hates how he looks. He should do something about it rather living his life hating how he looks. Edited April 6, 2014 by Noproblem Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 See...now this is the kind of woman I am looking for. Although, I have noticed equally attractive men try to hit on these women right in FRONT of their nerdy looking boyfriends thinking they can steal them away, or mistaking their significant others as an uglier relative like a cousin or something. LOL What's 'not overweight'.? I'm attracted to a FIT man. That means lean muscle. I don't care about his height or looks. I care about well dressed, super clean. I care that he likes to hike or cycle instead of playing video games. The things that attract me are within just about every man's control. My 2 sisters and I had boys lined up around the block in our teens. After the teens, 'the babes' have had the cute guys. Been there, done that. Our relationships since have always been with regular looking guys. One sister is a solid 10 and married a guy that looks like the ultimate nerd...but he is the nicest guy in the world. My boyfriend has a crooked nose that I just love. When my sisters are together with our partners my father jokes that it's Beauties and the Beasts. Link to post Share on other sites
hasaquestion Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 If you are confident, in good shape, and good enough at talking, you can get 3/4 of girls no matter what your face looks like. It won't be enough for the hottest ones, sure. But those are all things you can work on. You can improve your body (get toned and cut up), you can build confidence, and you can figure out what to say. The key is approaching the "problem" with clarity. Don't get caught up in too many details. IMO, look at the guys who are charm women with their sense of humor and their confidence and understand how they talk and how they carry themselves. Conversely, look at the guys who are devoid of charm and understand why they are so damn boring and don't be like that. And then practice reproducing that humor and confidence wherever you can. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 There's no reason for women who are pretty to date men who aren't. That's it. Sorry it's not what you want to hear. It takes a LOAD of personality and having something else successful going for you as well to move you into a league above your own physical attractiveness level. Women do care about looks, and for most it's as much the face as the body, if not more. Link to post Share on other sites
Rich34 Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 Yes. If you are not good looking, then I am sorry to tell you that you ARE finished. Like yourself I am not good looking. I am almost fifty years old now. In over THIRTY YEARS of trying to get a girlfriend, constant failure was my companion. Don't believe all the other crap people tell you. It is not about personality. It's all about how you look. If you are not good looking then forget about having a girlfriend and put your energies into something more productive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Valen Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 If you're an unattractive man who wants the pretty girls and not the ugly ones, doesn't that make you a hypocrite? Can you blame the pretty ones not desiring you? You have to be consistent. If you want others not to judge you by your looks, then you have to not judge other by theirs. If you don't have outer beauty at least have inner beauty. Be a man of values, generosity, kindness and have a heart of gold . Treat all people fairly whether they are pretty or not. Be comfortable with who you are. Sometimes it's not your looks that makes you unattractive but it's your insecurities and your shallowness that makes you unattractive. So the problem isn't on the outside, it's in the inside. Focus on that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
endlessabyss Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 Yes. If you are not good looking, then I am sorry to tell you that you ARE finished. Like yourself I am not good looking. I am almost fifty years old now. In over THIRTY YEARS of trying to get a girlfriend, constant failure was my companion. Don't believe all the other crap people tell you. It is not about personality. It's all about how you look. If you are not good looking then forget about having a girlfriend and put your energies into something more productive. There's no reason for women who are pretty to date men who aren't. That's it. Sorry it's not what you want to hear. It takes a LOAD of personality and having something else successful going for you as well to move you into a league above your own physical attractiveness level. Women do care about looks, and for most it's as much the face as the body, if not more. This is so brutal lol. While I do see a lot of truth in what these two posters speak of, there maybe some hope if you work at things hard enough. The reality is, you have to have something you bring to the table. Whether it be your looks, your wealth, you social status, you have to have something. My personal theory, appearance is primary; personality is derivative. The only way you're going to be able to charm someone is of you have enough time to do it. A woman is going to decide whether she is interested, or not, in less than a second. If you have no social circle, you're really in a world of trouble, so you might want to start there first (which brings about its own challenges). If you look at some of the threads in this section, you just have to realize that life is unfair. You have to just deal with it and try to make the best out of your situation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZipperZapper Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 (edited) Yes. If you are not good looking, then I am sorry to tell you that you ARE finished. Like yourself I am not good looking. I am almost fifty years old now. In over THIRTY YEARS of trying to get a girlfriend, constant failure was my companion. Don't believe all the other crap people tell you. It is not about personality. It's all about how you look. If you are not good looking then forget about having a girlfriend and put your energies into something more productive. Spot on. I feel your pain, because I've been in the same spot for most of my life. I did get married once, although the marriage didn't last very long. I think my ex was just looking for a bill payer to make her life (and that of her feckless kid) easier. I'm not sure why she married me otherwise. Mind you, I do look a little like her dad and have a similar personality. But since splitting up with her almost seven years ago, I've been looking and have had no real success. A couple of close calls, mind you, with women who turned out to be trainwrecks after a few dates, and a couple who just played the 'let's just be friends' game. I'm not at all good looking, and while I've got a good job, I'm by no means rich. Because I've never been lucky or successful in love, I sometimes think my marriage was a fluke, something that by rights, shouldn't have happened. I only occasionally get dates, and it seems the only women who appreciate me are ones who are looking for a meal ticket, or losers who are much, much worse off than me, or the really rare ones who like my intelligence. The rest have no interest in me. Short of getting a face transplant or suddenly getting rich, I'm likely to die alone, unloved and unwanted. And even then, I wouldn't want to be loved for mere superficial attributes like good looks or for my money. Some people are just not meant to succeed at the romance game. Yes, life is horribly unfair. It seems to dish out all the good things to people who least deserve them or didn't earn them, while it lets others go empty handed. Edited April 11, 2014 by ZipperZapper 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveislife11 Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 (edited) Studies have been conducted and research findings have resulted in the same results. Attractive looking people have better odds and chances of success rates to acquire more attention from the opposite sex. These results are also imperative in social interaction and reaction. A decent example is the film industry where looks equate to higher revenue yields, just as modeling and advertisement. Our perceptions have been programmed by the media and communities. That is exactly why those industries or any related industry of "glamour" are polarized with high revenue. Beauty sells because it is a advertising magnet. Being unattractive is equated to a dysfunction and an abnormality in human beings. Being extremely unattractive is equated to being isolated, rejected and alone for the most part of the world and in this world. This is unfortunate and even though our "inner" selves are much more important; this ideals of beauty are parts of life as fundamental aspects of partnership between a man and a women, but it has ultimately been taken to the extreme. Many people have facial deformities and they do have a burden to bear. With the way todays society emphasizes beauty and all it's fading it is no wonder why when the enemy is roaring around us like a lion; seeking whom it can devour and deceive! the deception lies in the vanity and pride of looks and things other than GOD and his son JESUS; whom through the gospel identified that the enemy is encamped when we allow immodesty, selfish pride and lust to fill our lives. I believe in modesty, and even though it is easy to fall into the trap of lust we must use wisdom and be careful to avoid it's prideful trap and boasting where none of us should. When I was young I had an attraction for the Charlie's angels actresses(70's not later years films) and I didn't know where it came from. Something about the certain types of beautiful women and not others that interested me. Now that I look at that view point I ask myself.....has it changed? Has my attraction curtailed? Has my value of beauty altered? Not in the sense that beauty is beauty, it is how you attempt to let it dissuade you, or how you perceive it as an end results. "IS IT LOVE OR LUST?" That is the main question and concern we should all be asking ourselves before allowing it to program our perception to a degree with logical equations. I will not deny that physical beauty is attractive, but where this idea of beauty originates I do not understand!! Edited April 12, 2014 by loveislife11 Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 I feel that girls are disgusted when they see me. I'm not overweight, I'm healthy, I dress well and have good hygiene. I feel that the reason I get rejected so many times is because they don't like my face. I have the confidence to ask girls out but it just gets annoying when every single time it results in failure. I can't change the way I look and it seems that every girl that I approach shows disinterest and it's disheartening. I've never been in a relationship before and I'm almost 21 years old, is that sad? Then I see some guys who are trying to get with the girls I like... I can't compete against these guys, I don't have a chance if a girl were to decide between me or them... They're taller, better looking, ripped body, etc... Should I just stick to ugly girls who are more 'in my league'? That's how I feel right now. Your attitude is probably not working in your favor. Now, I know that might seem kind of ridiculous given that I know umpteen people (not just men, women too) with piss poor attitudes and they still land themselves in relationships. But, in particular, self-pity is like kryptonite. You're oozing a self-pitying attitude in your post and if you want to dry up a woman mentally and sexually like the Sahara, self pity will do that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mario_C Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 No one mentioned money?! You guys are slipping. Well, OK, maybe not just money - you have to be successful. You have to be the best at...something. What do you love most of all? Who do you want to be? I assure you, you will not go on a date or get laid until you at least know the answer to that question. (saying that from experience) Link to post Share on other sites
bryceisbryce Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Confidence and humor. I date up all the time. Most women I date are considerably more attractive, smarter, and wealthier than I am. What do I do? I don't make aggressive advances when I first meet them and I don't beat my chest like a caveman trying to impress them. I make them laugh and they love it. I don't believes in leagues. To me there are only two leagues: women that find me attractive and women that don't. I think it's pretty hilarious that you want hot women to give you a chance but you don't want to give "ugly" women a chance. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
topaMAXX Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Confidence and humor. I date up all the time. Most women I date are considerably more attractive, smarter, and wealthier than I am. What do I do? I don't make aggressive advances when I first meet them and I don't beat my chest like a caveman trying to impress them. I make them laugh and they love it. I don't believes in leagues. To me there are only two leagues: women that find me attractive and women that don't. I think it's pretty hilarious that you want hot women to give you a chance but you don't want to give "ugly" women a chance. Pot calling the kettle black, eh? Also, your method of placing yourself in the friendzone first won't work for most guys (see the million threads on this forum as a reference). Thus, this is awful advice. Link to post Share on other sites
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