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Or they don't anymore? I've already dumped several guys on a date who weren't virgins. Even those that liked my status but when I asked for their history in return, they already had some count. I makes me feel so depressed at times.

 

I want a virgin, Christian or Catholic man but even one I've encountered wasn't waiting till marriage and another non-virgin.:(

 

I'm not interested in dating, not much married a man that didn't care in waiting and only appreciates a virgin but isn't one himself. It is important to be that my groom is a virgin. But where are they at that it feels like they don't exist. I'm not going to change this quality.

 

So that's all I'm asking. Are there good, male waiters too?

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Or they don't anymore? I've already dumped several guys on a date who weren't virgins. Even those that liked my status but when I asked for their history in return, they already had some count. I makes me feel so depressed at times.

 

I want a virgin, Christian or Catholic man but even one I've encountered wasn't waiting till marriage and another non-virgin.:(

 

I'm not interested in dating, not much married a man that didn't care in waiting and only appreciates a virgin but isn't one himself. It is important to be that my groom is a virgin. But where are they at that it feels like they don't exist. I'm not going to change this quality.

 

So that's all I'm asking. Are there good, male waiters too?

 

I am male and a devout Catholic and I am planning on saving myself for marriage. We do exist just keep looking :)

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whirl3daway
Or they don't anymore? I've already dumped several guys on a date who weren't virgins. Even those that liked my status but when I asked for their history in return, they already had some count. I makes me feel so depressed at times.

 

I want a virgin, Christian or Catholic man but even one I've encountered wasn't waiting till marriage and another non-virgin.:(

 

I'm not interested in dating, not much married a man that didn't care in waiting and only appreciates a virgin but isn't one himself. It is important to be that my groom is a virgin. But where are they at that it feels like they don't exist. I'm not going to change this quality.

 

So that's all I'm asking. Are there good, male waiters too?

 

do you prefer zero sexual contact in your relationships, or are you ok with BJs/HJs/petting?

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do you prefer zero sexual contact in your relationships, or are you ok with BJs/HJs/petting?
I'm guess it's ok a bit of contact, just as long as there is no penetration, nothing heavy.
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I am sure they exist but what you want is definitely not the norm. I would not go about looking for a BF in the general public. Most virgins would want sex eventually before marriage...

 

 

I imagine the easiest way to find someone is church or some Christian dating site in which you explicitly state no sex before marriage. Saves you and him trouble of dating otherwise.

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hasaquestion
I'm guess it's ok a bit of contact, just as long as there is no penetration, nothing heavy.

 

Of course they exist.

 

The real question is how important is it relative to the rest of your expectations? Because chances are the ones who are virgins are the ones you don't want.

 

Are you willing to compromise on body type, for example, to get a virgin?

 

Personally, I think you shouldn't dump people because they aren't virgins. You should stick to your principles, refuse to have sex and be abundantly clear on that. If they aren't cut out for you? They'll take care of themselves, and leave to find someone who puts out. That way you at least give people a chance to change if they fit the rest of your criteria.

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Of course they exist.

The real question is how important is it relative to the rest of your expectations?

Very important.

 

I have heard this a couple of times that I'm being too hard and that ''What if he's good but had a count but otherwise respects you''. I don't want that and that too me feels like already compromsing on what I believe.

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I imagine the easiest way to find someone is church or some Christian dating site in which you explicitly state no sex before marriage. Saves you and him trouble of dating otherwise.
Thanks. Will be trying Christian dating sites.
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hasaquestion
Very important.

 

I have heard this a couple of times that I'm being too hard and that ''What if he's good but had a count but otherwise respects you''. I don't want that and that too me feels like already compromising on what I believe.

 

Its not too "hard" on your part. I have a lot of respect for your choices.

 

But most 24-year old male virgins are not virgins by choice. And chances are, if someone has been trying and failing to lose their virginity, you have to be ready to not get butterflies in your stomach when you sit down across from them.

 

Perhaps one strategy would be to look for men from traditional cultures like China and India? Who are more likely to have cultural beliefs about celibacy? Hanging around a university is a good place to start on that.

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Or they don't anymore? I've already dumped several guys on a date who weren't virgins. Even those that liked my status but when I asked for their history in return, they already had some count. I makes me feel so depressed at times.

 

I want a virgin, Christian or Catholic man but even one I've encountered wasn't waiting till marriage and another non-virgin.:(

 

I'm not interested in dating, not much married a man that didn't care in waiting and only appreciates a virgin but isn't one himself. It is important to be that my groom is a virgin. But where are they at that it feels like they don't exist. I'm not going to change this quality.

 

So that's all I'm asking. Are there good, male waiters too?

 

Not sure where you live, but if you up on the idea of moving and are between the age of 18-21 AND have no problem converting to Mormonism. My birthplace of Utah is full of them, they are everywhere. And so are weddings, I kind of wish I had been a loner in college that way I wouldn't have to worry about the 20 weddings I've been invited to this summer. :eek:

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Guys who are deliberately saving themselves for marriage definitely exist and are far more common than many realize! You just need to look in the right places to find those who share your values.

 

Someone mentioned churches and Christian dating sites. That's fine. Just understand that some Christians are not virgins. Some are more diligent about following Bible teachings than others. Don't make assumptions about others' choices based simply on labels. You still need to focus on seeking those who share your values and priorities.

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So that's all I'm asking. Are there good, male waiters too?

 

If verifiable virginity (almost impossible methinks) or waiting for marriage for sex with a particular person (comparatively easy to verify) are absolutes, it will certainly limit the pool of available young men.

 

I hung my hat on the no-genital-contact form for many years, not from any particular religious standpoint, as I had rejected strict religion upon gaining adulthood, but rather from personal conviction about the place of sex in intimate relationships. I would opine, in my generation anyway, this kind of behavior was decidedly outlier for a man and certainly had its detriments socially, mainly in limiting, much as your experiencing, the dating pool, as most young ladies had already had boyfriends, lost their virginity, or were married, had children, etc, etc.

 

IMO, promote a social circle of generally like-minded young folks or relocate to an area where such potentials are in greater supply.

 

Back when virginity was more common, engagements were defined and relatively brief. If one got on well with a young lady and she the young man, and physical contact between them indicated romantic interest and desire, things progressed, generally at a more rapid pace than what is common today. The short version is, if you meet a young man who matches up, don't dawdle. Good luck!

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FredRutherford

Please don't take this personally or as an attack as I really do admire and respect those who wait. I think it shows self-control and a lot of maturity compared to the many in the world who sleep with almost everyone they date.

 

Or they don't anymore?

 

I've already dumped several guys on a date who weren't virgins. Even those that liked my status but when I asked for their history in return, they already had some count. I makes me feel so depressed at times.

Honestly, that seems cold.

Were these guys Christians?

 

Were they almost "bragging" they weren't virgins? Almost like they were 'players'?

If so, that would make a difference.

 

 

I want a virgin, Christian or Catholic man but even one I've encountered wasn't waiting till marriage and another non-virgin.:(

That's a good stance.

 

I'm not interested in dating, not much married a man that didn't care in waiting and only appreciates a virgin but isn't one himself.

 

Admire your position here.

 

It is important to be that my groom is a virgin. But where are they at that it feels like they don't exist. I'm not going to change this quality.

 

So that's all I'm asking. Are there good, male waiters too?

The good news is they are out there.

I'm friends with some and know many online, of both sexes.

While many of them are more 'involuntary virgins,' many would welcome a sweet Christian virgin gal like you.

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FredRutherford
I'm not interested in dating, not much married a man that didn't care in waiting and only appreciates a virgin but isn't one himself.

Admire your position here.

It is important to be that my groom is a virgin. But where are they at that it feels like they don't exist. I'm not going to change this quality.
I would advise you to soften your stance just a little as some of your statements here do come-off as a bit judgmental.

Now... don't get me wrong... I think it's great men & women remain virgins until marriage... but let's not judge them too harshly or be mean to them if they're not. Am talking Christians who fell into sexual sin.

 

My story:

Unfortunately, I lost my innocence last year in high school to a girl who said "I never tried anything" with her on dates....

It was my biggest life regret and the good news is it was my idea to stop the sex. Though we did it only 3-4X, it wasn't enjoyable and I know we bot felt loads of guilt.

 

Became a believer next year in college.

I was cleansed... a new creation in Christ, but of course, still felt guilt over it.

 

I didn't have ANY kind of sex -- nor any handholding, kissing or hugging --- until my late 20s !!!!

 

During a particularly lonely and isolating time in my late 20s, when I wasn't very close to God (but was still a Christian), made some mistakes and took advantage of some "opportunities" women offered me... I knew it was wrong,....

......but here I was, a single and lonely Christian man who since was 19 wanted a good Christian woman as his wife.... but couldn't get any to date or if I got a date, they weren't ever interested in 2nd-3rd dates.... :(

 

Yes, I wanted to wait to marriage for sex. I never pressed women for sex.... I considered myself a Christian 'gentleman.' I'd never want to jeopardize a Christian woman's morality. I know there are many like me....

 

Felt really guilty about those casuals and a month after those casual incidents, started attending a church singles group where I met a woman I dated for 6 mos. who ALMOST became a fiance'.

Isn't God great? If I'd had the patience to wait... just another month.... :(

 

I was 27... she was 30.

When she asked me if I was like her ( a virgin ), I only answered no.

Didn't tell her how many, how many times, or if I was a 'player' or 'promiscuious,' only said I wasn't a virgin.

 

She came to light tears over it... and seemed so judgmental of me.

 

I was shocked... she judged me... I was too stunned to come-back with a quick reply....

... but should've told her...

 

 

  • "... Look, am glad you're a virgin @30. I respect women who save themselves & admire those that show self-control and don't rush into sex.

 

  • "...When I had sex with that girl in high school, I didn't know you and wasn't doing it to personally offend you... so please don't take it as an 'insult' to you...

 

  • ".... Truth is, I haven't had much sex and am pretty naive about it..."

 

  • "... I wish I'd waited. If I'd known I would meet a nice girl like you, I would've waited, but I wasn't a Christian in high school and made some mistakes. If I could go-back and un-do them, I would.

 

  • "....I have sought God's forgiveness for it. Please understand...."

 

Didn't tell her about the recent 'casuals,' (no need to throw fire on the flames :) )....

....but me only having sex ALL OF 5X from 19-30 (what's that? Once every 2-3 years ?? ) makes me look like a monk compared to many guys my age.....

 

 

So OP, please understand, you may well meet some good Christian men who strayed from the path...

... They weren't pagan fornicators, but fell into sin, like many good Christian women.

Try to have some understanding here...

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Thank you for sharing your views on this. Though I understand certain people chose another path and might not feel good about themselves, I still stand my views on this.

I'm afraid there are certain compatibilities that are very important to some people (to me the man has to be a virgin too).

 

FredRutherford, the virgin woman you encountered simply felt that you guys weren't compatible in that area. You would have to avoid meeting us since we're really only into wanting virgin men waiting till marriage. You can however, meet a virgin woman that isn't asking for a virgin man in return and would be just happy to have the man waiting for them.

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Disillusioned
I want a virgin, Christian or Catholic man but even one I've encountered wasn't waiting till marriage and another non-virgin.:(

 

In the words of my late great-grandmother, people in hell want ice wotta!

 

While I'm the first to admit I'm a 47-yo virgin and not ashamed of it (no, I don't have leprosy), we're supposed to play along with what the Promiscuity Propaganda Machine says, that virgins are even worse than child molesters and should be avoided at all costs.

 

While I think it might be nice for me to eventually meet a woman who's a virgin I can spend the rest of my life with, I have other things going on in my life that are more important to me (such as publishing the 4 books I'm writing so I can pwn the trolls). :p Love is on the back burner and sex isn't even part of the picture.

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In the words of my late great-grandmother, people in hell want ice wotta!

 

While I'm the first to admit I'm a 47-yo virgin and not ashamed of it (no, I don't have leprosy), we're supposed to play along with what the Promiscuity Propaganda Machine says, that virgins are even worse than child molesters and should be avoided at all costs.

Wow kudos to you. I love men that have self-restrain and won't give their virginities right away, just like I'm not giving away mines for any random guy that slept around. Always will. Keep up the good work with your upcoming books. Now, this reminds me of the now famous scientist that invented that laws of gravity; Sr Issac Newton. I just read that it's very likely he died being a virgin.

 

The Amazing Stuff: Isaac Newton died a virgin!

Edited by Flora94
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I also agree that there are plenty of virgin males out there but the challenge is going to be finding one that also likes you and will be compatible with you in other important area.

 

I'm getting the feeling that virginity is your primary value and sole focus in your mate selection process.

 

My curiosity surrounds what are your sexual attitudes and values about sexuality AFTER you are married?

 

There are really two kinds of male virgins, those that are involuntarily virgin who want to have sex but are unable to attract a mate. And those that may be able to attract a mate but are voluntarily waiting untill marriage.

 

Both groups WANT to have sex lives. Do you even care about any of that or are you just focused solely on finding someone who hasn't had sex yet??

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There are really two kinds of male virgins, those that are involuntarily virgin who want to have sex but are unable to attract a mate. And those that may be able to attract a mate but are voluntarily waiting untill marriage.

Both groups WANT to have sex lives. Do you even care about any of that or are you just focused solely on finding someone who hasn't had sex yet??

Yes, I want a sex life after our wedding. The one in the bold is what would be great to find though if he's an involuntary virgin but cares about me enough to wait and wants to be with me after all, it's ok too.

 

But yes, oldshirt virginity till marriage is my primary value. Still stand my view. Will not marry a non-virgin man.

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But yes, oldshirt virginity till marriage is my primary value. Still stand my view. Will not marry a non-virgin man.

 

 

I get that. We all have our own values and mate selection criteria.

 

Just understand when you focus so much importance on one trait, you will also sacrifice and settle on others.

 

You may pat yourself on the back to walk down the aisle with a virgin only to find he doesn't have the other traits and characteristics to attract and and to desire him after the wedding. Assuming you do have sex in the days following the wedding, if the marriage should fail do to the other characteristics you overlooked, you would both be exiting the marriage as nonvirgins and you would have thus negated your own primary value.

 

But that all being said, I too agree with the others that you should direct your search efforts to church groups and Christian dating services.

 

I would bet that their are even virgin dating services out there to help virgins connect with each other.

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FredRutherford

Am thinking what she really wants is a good Christian man who isn't a "player" and one who hasn't had a lot of sex or isn't promiscuous.

 

That's a valid and not unreasonable characteristic one would want in a marriage partner, particularly if one's a virgin.

 

Nothing "wrong" with promiscuous people, but many of us sought "good girls" who weren't highly sexually active before marriage.

 

Now, the insistence on dating/ marrying a virgin may naturally change, particularly as one gets older, into their late 20s and 30s, when it becomes more difficult to find a virgin, even amongst Christians.

Most want to experience that part of life and unfortunately, fall to sexual sin but it's a very human thing, so no 'judgement' here.

 

Such a preference is realistic and fair when one's in their early 20s.

 

When I met my future wife @ 30, she wasn't a virgin, but neither was I.

Though I too had long wanted to marry a virgin Christian woman, I found as I got older I needed to "relax" that "demand" (it was really a preference) because many good Christian women have had sex by then.

 

I didn't soften my view on dating highly-sexual women which wasn't appealing to me.

She wasn't highly active and only had sex with a former fiance about a decade before we met, just after high school, so she didn't sleep around.

 

Just as she had to accept my personality characteristics, including my limited sexual experience....

...I had to accept her for who she was @ that moment, not for what she did in the past.

 

I've interacted with virgin men in their 30's and 40's who express "repulsion" at the prospect of marrying a non-virgin.

"Think of all the movies that would go through my mind," one posted.

 

Always ask them if they're going to allow their expectations to get in the way of a potentially loving relationship with a woman sitting across the restaurant table with them who's considering taking a chance with him...

As long as she/he regrets their past and isn't promiscuous and not doing it now, it should be fine.

 

There are many virgin and non-virgin never-married Christian women here on LoveShack who married guys like that, ones who had pasts but had changed, like the ladies did.

 

Like OldShirt said, there's a number of factors one should consider when marrying.

People that maintain unrealistic standards ( particularly when they're older ) may find them missing out on some loving relationships when they unfairly and unnecessarily screened-out good marriage partners.

Edited by FredRutherford
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Am thinking what she really wants is a good Christian man who isn't a "player" and one who hasn't had a lot of sex or isn't promiscuous.
A good Christian virgin man.

Nothing "wrong" with promiscuous people, but many of us sought "good girls" who weren't highly sexually active before marriage.
They just don't share my same values. I feel that if I were with one like that, I would be settling and compromising way too much. It wouldn't make me feel special at all.

I've interacted with virgin men in their 30's and 40's who express "repulsion" at the prospect of marrying a non-virgin.

"Think of all the movies that would go through my mind," one posted.

I think the same way too. It would be depressing that I was doing all the waiting and he didn't. It wouldn't make me feel special at all.

As long as she/he regrets their past and isn't promiscuous and not doing it now, it should be fine.

 

There are many virgin and non-virgin never-married Christian women here on LoveShack who married guys like that, ones who had pasts but had changed, like the ladies did.

I have a feeling some of them maybe gave up on their search when they were getting a bit older and it was getting harder to find the one they originally wanted. I don't being single longer if I can't find him.

 

I'm going to try this site I found at:

A Virgin | Christian Forum Site

 

I appreciate your insight but this is a standard I won't soften. I can soften it on other areas and don't really ask too much but not in the virginity aspect.

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I would advise you to soften your stance just a little as some of your statements here do come-off as a bit judgmental.

Now... don't get me wrong... I think it's great men & women remain virgins until marriage... but let's not judge them too harshly or be mean to them if they're not. Am talking Christians who fell into sexual sin.

 

My story:

Unfortunately, I lost my innocence last year in high school to a girl who said "I never tried anything" with her on dates....

It was my biggest life regret and the good news is it was my idea to stop the sex. Though we did it only 3-4X, it wasn't enjoyable and I know we bot felt loads of guilt.

 

Became a believer next year in college.

I was cleansed... a new creation in Christ, but of course, still felt guilt over it.

 

I didn't have ANY kind of sex -- nor any handholding, kissing or hugging --- until my late 20s !!!!

 

During a particularly lonely and isolating time in my late 20s, when I wasn't very close to God (but was still a Christian), made some mistakes and took advantage of some "opportunities" women offered me... I knew it was wrong,....

......but here I was, a single and lonely Christian man who since was 19 wanted a good Christian woman as his wife.... but couldn't get any to date or if I got a date, they weren't ever interested in 2nd-3rd dates.... :(

 

Yes, I wanted to wait to marriage for sex. I never pressed women for sex.... I considered myself a Christian 'gentleman.' I'd never want to jeopardize a Christian woman's morality. I know there are many like me....

 

Felt really guilty about those casuals and a month after those casual incidents, started attending a church singles group where I met a woman I dated for 6 mos. who ALMOST became a fiance'.

Isn't God great? If I'd had the patience to wait... just another month.... :(

 

I was 27... she was 30.

When she asked me if I was like her ( a virgin ), I only answered no.

Didn't tell her how many, how many times, or if I was a 'player' or 'promiscuious,' only said I wasn't a virgin.

 

She came to light tears over it... and seemed so judgmental of me.

 

I was shocked... she judged me... I was too stunned to come-back with a quick reply....

... but should've told her...

 

 

  • "... Look, am glad you're a virgin @30. I respect women who save themselves & admire those that show self-control and don't rush into sex.

 

  • "...When I had sex with that girl in high school, I didn't know you and wasn't doing it to personally offend you... so please don't take it as an 'insult' to you...

 

  • ".... Truth is, I haven't had much sex and am pretty naive about it..."

 

  • "... I wish I'd waited. If I'd known I would meet a nice girl like you, I would've waited, but I wasn't a Christian in high school and made some mistakes. If I could go-back and un-do them, I would.

 

  • "....I have sought God's forgiveness for it. Please understand...."

 

Didn't tell her about the recent 'casuals,' (no need to throw fire on the flames :) )....

....but me only having sex ALL OF 5X from 19-30 (what's that? Once every 2-3 years ?? ) makes me look like a monk compared to many guys my age.....

 

 

So OP, please understand, you may well meet some good Christian men who strayed from the path...

... They weren't pagan fornicators, but fell into sin, like many good Christian women.

Try to have some understanding here...

 

Good luck on your Christian path. Put all your regrets in the past and trust in The Lord.

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