4 year rut :(

[Targetlock]

Well today marks 4 years since i've been on a date or had anything close to a relationship and yeah it sucks. I'm 28 and i've never actually been in a real relationship (last date the girl only liked me a friend anyway and nothing else), been trying OLD for almost two years now which seems to be a strange lottery or game. I have a small social circle and can be rather socially awkward, nobody available at work or among my friends, it just seems i look around me and everyone seems to have someone and i think, is there something wrong with me? what i am doing wrong?

Sorry to rant, just a rather gloomy anniversary that has left be a bit low

[regine_phalange]

Well today marks 4 years since i've been on a date or had anything close to a relationship and yeah it sucks. I'm 28 and i've never actually been in a real relationship (last date the girl only liked me a friend anyway and nothing else), been trying OLD for almost two years now which seems to be a strange lottery or game. I have a small social circle and can be rather socially awkward, nobody available at work or among my friends, it just seems i look around me and everyone seems to have someone and i think, is there something wrong with me? what i am doing wrong?

Sorry to rant, just a rather gloomy anniversary that has left be a bit low

 

From the posts I've read, you seem like a really decent man.

 

Having a small social circle definetely has an impact on being single for a long time, I don't think there is something wrong with you. I know many decent men who never had a girlfriend, and there is nothing wrong with them. I think at some point they start believing that they are not made to have a girlfriend, while this is not true. Maybe trying something new that doesn't have to cost money, like volunteering, would contribute to meeting new (quality) people?

[Frank2thepoint]

There is nothing wrong with being single. It is very liberating, because you get to focus on yourself, enjoy hobbies, discover new hobbies, hang out with friends. Of course I can sympathize with you since you never had a real relationship. It can be very frustrating when couples seem happy and are flaunting their relationship to everyone. You live in England, are you in a large town or city? If so, then take more opportunities to strike up conversations with random girls. There is no harm in smiling a little, saying hi, and just approaching a woman by saying something genuine, such as you like her eyes, hair, or how she smiled back at you. Try supermarkets (you English have Tesco, right right?), bus stops, and other public venues. I would say stay away from the bar scene, but England has pubs on every corner like the US has Starbucks on every corner (I have four Starbucks in a three block walking distance from me at work!). If you are not in a large town/city, then still chat up your local women, but make a little effort travel into the closest city to you.

 

Also, if online dating depresses you because of lack of results, then get off of it, disconnect, and walk out into the world. It's a proven fact women respond better to face-to-face interaction then with some picture and a profile. Bottom line, muster yourself out of the rut by being a little more social with your demeanor.

[Targetlock]

Thanks for the comment, I know there is nothing wrong with being single, but I've never had otherwise to really know the difference, I've just always been single and not really given a real chance

[somedude81]

Have you ever gone to any activities where there would be a lot of women there?

[Targetlock]

I've been trying singles nights recently but otherwise most of hobby stuff (geeky stuff) don't often have many women or any my age (i go to a gaming club on the weekend)

Just seems i need to take to take a real risk to get myself out there and i don't like the local pub scene always seems a bit rough to me.