I don't know what I want...

[cimplysonfused]

My last relationship was difficult. I didn't really want it, but I just did it anyway because I'd never been in one before. It was a bad choice, I made some bad decisions got myself hurt and hurt others in the process. I was dealing with a lot of guilt and hurt from that relationship for a long time, but now I've come to accept my mistakes and I'm ready to move forward.

 

My problem?

 

I still don't know what I want. I've been single for a while, half-ass dating (which is basically me giving my number out and not initiating/responding/hanging out) here and there, reconnecting with some guys and here and there and then moving on. Up to now I've been avoiding dating completely... But it's not like I don't want a guy, I guess I'm just scared to go too far again.

 

Yet, I want someone?

 

I loved the intimacy I had in a relationship, hanging out, talking, sexing, cuddling, being cute, all that stuff was beautiful. It made me feel really good; filled a void so to speak, but I didn't want to just be with one person. And after a while, I felt trapped and I wanted to get to know other people too.

 

I think I honestly want a really good guy friend that enjoys my company, that I can trust, that I can talk to, and that I can have fun with every once in a while when we're in the mood, but not be together, and have other options as well?????

 

But I feel conflicted. Most of my friends are in committed relationships and have always been in those type of relationships. Mean while, I'm the exact opposite, and would rather wait a bit longer for something really serious (I'm only 19). It's hard to relate to my friends these days and it kind of sucks. I feel pressure to just get into a relationship just because everyone else is in one and everyone else thinks I should be in one.

 

This sucks, I think I'm getting off topic now, idk, I feel lonely lol....

 

What do I do, help?

[todreaminblue]

confusion signifies you arent ready to commit....so dont feel pressured to due to others..........find some good friends guys and girls and chill enjoy what you love to do, by yourself and with friends, have fun, enjoy your youth, dont get serious until you are sure its what and who you want...see the world be creative..meet all types...sow some sunshine in your wake, make a difference to your life as well as others that is light and positive..........be free..good luck ....deb...

[thecrucible]

I have exactly the same dilemma and I'm almost 25!! Maybe you just haven't met the right person yet? I would like to see what people here say as well.

[Frank2thepoint]

But I feel conflicted. Most of my friends are in committed relationships and have always been in those type of relationships. Mean while, I'm the exact opposite, and would rather wait a bit longer for something really serious (I'm only 19). It's hard to relate to my friends these days and it kind of sucks. I feel pressure to just get into a relationship just because everyone else is in one and everyone else thinks I should be in one.

 

First, you are only 19. You're obsessing over a matter that shouldn't impact you so much, yet you allow it to impact you. At your age, you are still discovering yourself, trying to find a place in the world, and most importantly, where you fit into the world (ie: career goals, furthering education, etc.). It's okay to not know what you want from someone at your age, because you haven't dated much, nor traded stories with friends about relationships.

 

Second, you are succumbing to peer pressure. Your friends, whom I am assuming are around your age, are in "committed" relationships which have no guarantees for longevity, yet you feel left out, not part of their inner circle, because you are not in one of those "committed" relationships. My advice is to date, but be honest and fair. Don't use someone or deceive the person. Just let them know you are looking to have fun for now.