Feeling played & hurt

[amyO]

**Posted this in another forum as well, wasn't sure where to exactly post this

 

 

I became friends with a guy at my college back in September. I knew he had a girlfriend, but I didn't think much of him in any way except a friend. We became a lot closer as friends and I began to really fall for him. It started becoming obvious that he liked me as well. He has never been inappropriate towards me and never tried to do anything with me. I of course would never do anything towards him in that way either. We would text a lot and he would always come to my room to hangout with my roommate and I. He would literally spend more time hanging out with me/talking to me then his own girlfriend.

 

I kept feeling he would break up with his girlfriend soon, but they're still together. I know it was wrong of me to even like him/talk to him, but I feel really played. He will continuously flirt with me and ask what I'm doing on the weekends. He will come to hangout and again, show that he likes me. He literally never brings up his girlfriend around me and at parties will try to avoid her when I'm around. Even times when he is with his girlfriend, he'll text me. Example: He spent time with his girlfriend on NYE and texted me a half hour before the "new Year" because he was afraid his phone would die. Also, at a bar with all our friends, he kept asking me to sit near him and stay with him even though his girlfriend was in the same room. We even went to a concert with our friends recently and he kept calling me his "date" and trying to put his arm around me.

 

Not that this changes much, but they have a pretty bad relationship. She's cheated on him a few times and they broke up a few times as well. I know this is the first "real" relationship they've both been in. I don't know if he's scared to let her go in a sense since this is his first girlfriend, but it doesn't make it right for him to "play" both of us to figure out what he wants.

 

I guess all in all, he sounds like someone that likes that he has a girlfriend, but can still flirt and "like" another girl as well. It just bothers me because I've never been played like this in a sense and especially by someone who I have become close friends with.

 

It confuses me and hurts me a great deal. I guess I'm asking if anyone has been through this and what are helpful ways to deal with this situation?

Edited March 12, 2014 by amyO

[thinkingofhim]

If his flirting bothers you just tell him to knock it off. He kind of sounds like a creep tbh.

[d0nnivain]

I don't see where you were played. You knew he had a GF but YOU made the choice to keep hanging out with him secretly hoping he'd break up with her.

 

Disappointment I can understand but it's not fair to blame your reaction on him.

 

If you weren't open to the flirting, you could have shot it down but you didn't.

 

I'm sorry he didn't pick you but in all honesty, you have to think about what kind of a BF he'd make. Do you want him doing to you what he is doing to his present GF? While they seem to have a dysfunctional relationship -- a cycle of break-ups & cheating -- it would be more honest if he ended things once & for all rather than flirting with you under her nose.