avacado Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 The first time I'd ever exchanged those three words was with my ex, I waited until I was 27 and it was wonderful. It happened shortly after we started dating and it was only after she initiated it. After many months of sadness that followed our breakup, I've found someone new, and she's pretty damn great. But I can't bring myself to say it to her, and she can't with me, even though I get the clear feeling that we're both hoping the other says it. Somehow, we're not even officially girlfriend/boyfriend yet, despite having been dating pretty seriously for about four months now. I feel like an immature kid! Hahaha. Anyone ever experience this? I just find it very difficult to up the ante, maybe as a result of getting destroyed in my last relationship, which was very serious. Link to post Share on other sites
BassWalker Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I think people put too much stock into saying those three words. Love is more about more actions than words. Link to post Share on other sites
Teraskas Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I think people put too much stock into saying those three words. Love is more about more actions than words. Exactly. Acta Non Verba. OP, there's no telling whether or not the relationship will fall apart in the future. Think of how she makes you feel. Does she value you, make you feel cherished, appreciate you as a person ? I'd say proceed to the 'official GF / BF' stage, and then say those words. Her actions and how she perceives you as a great guy is what truly matters. ^^ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThomasD Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 It's obvious that those "three magic words" mean a lot to you and you don't utter them loosely. She may be similar. I hope you two soon get to the point of your relationship where you can confidently exchange that phrase. Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 I agree with Teraskas make your relationship official first at least Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 If I am totally into a guy, I fall in love well before 4 months. Before 3 months sometime even. After 4 months it should be fine to say it. If she doesn't return the sentiment, are you willing to wait for a person to fall in love slowly? Many don't mind, but I choose not to enter into relationships where the man takes more than a few months to fall in love with me. Figure out if you are okay with her taking a little longer to fall in love with you. Just tell her, 4 months wont creep someone out unless they just aren't into you. If she doesn't love you yet, if she really LIKES you she wont get freaked out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hiddle Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 She's probably waiting for you to say it first. I would describe myself as 'dominant' I guess for lack of a better word. Bold, maybe? Some men have said 'intimidating.' But....I like to be the woman in a relationship in certain aspects, and not saying I love you first has always been one of the boundaries I've set for myself. I won't initiate sex first and I won't say I love you first....so if you want to take it there...you're gonna have to make the move. It was pretty hard to hold back in my last relationship and I did tell him, "I'm crazy about you," and was pretty obvious I was attracted. Finally, he said it! I was relieved, but then for some stupid reason...I waited a couple days to say it back. It's really not that big of a deal though. You can love someone, mean it, and not get married and live happily ever after. My advice would be to go ahead and say it....you'll feel so much better and she is probably waiting! Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Baby steps. Why don't you talk about being exclusive and where your relationship is going instead of jumping right into "I love you"? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts