Have I been friend-zoned as a girl?

[Chubbi]

From online dating, I have met a guy I really like, but I'm not sure if he is as interested. He messaged me first and I admit I was only vaguely interested. We talked a lot online; he wrote me really long messages.

 

I asked him out after 2 weeks because I lose interest if I can't see the person I'm talking to. He never asks me out.

 

For the dates, he travels about 2 hours to see me. The dates are going well and long and he is a gentleman, but he doesn't touch me. The first time he did was 4 hours into our second date he got a piece of lint off my face and I got excited but then he moved on.

 

On the second date he became very good-looking to me. It made me uncomfortable and nervous because I hadn't dated someone I was very attracted to.

 

At the end of the dates, he will ask for a hug or a kiss and then he will pull back. That is the only time he touches me or comes close to me. When he kissed me, I felt like I could not get more obvious that I wanted him too and I was very impatient about it but he still asked me three times before he did. We also cuddled for a long time and i enjoyed that but he pulled back from that too. He is the first guy I have kissed.

 

He told me he never did this before and he is afraid of messing things up. I don't know why he hasn't had much success with women; he seems very attractive to me. But how long am I going to have to hint to him?

 

Perhaps I should try taking the lead, maybe touching his hand or something? Or should I just continue following him?

Edited March 6, 2014 by Chubbi

[fallenheart]

Either sounds very inexperienced or super insecure and nervous.

 

He's still talking to you and going on dates, so it sounds like you're not friendzoned yet.

 

But take the lead. Like make it really obvious and leave NO doubt in his mind. Kiss him. Put his hands on your boobs. Grab his crotch.

 

If he still doesn't get the hint, move on. There are tons of dudes that know what they're doing that won't make the mistakes he did.

[haribogumsnickers]

Either sounds very inexperienced or super insecure and nervous.

 

He's still talking to you and going on dates, so it sounds like you're not friendzoned yet.

 

But take the lead. Like make it really obvious and leave NO doubt in his mind. Kiss him. Put his hands on your boobs. Grab his crotch.

 

If he still doesn't get the hint, move on. There are tons of dudes that know what they're doing that won't make the mistakes he did.

 

I concur, sir.

[carhill]

He told me he never did this before and he is afraid of messing things up. I don't know why he hasn't had much success with women; he seems very attractive to me. But how long am I going to have to hint to him?

 

It's entirely possible he's telling the truth. It's entirely possible it's a pattern of behavior to achieve an unknown goal. It's entirely possible he's got a girlfriend or wife 2 hours away at home. If he's traveling two hours to spend time with you, this indicates he's got money and mobility, so we're talking late teens anyway, if not older, so anything is possible.

 

If you enjoy his company otherwise, continue getting to know him, as well as date other men. In time, it'll all work out. If you find him reticent, just offer something simple and clear like 'I like being with you; no need to ask to kiss me' or similar. Then listen. Good luck!

[Chubbi]

Thank you all. It's cool hearing it from a guy's perspective.

 

We are both in our early 20s.

 

He's got me hooked for now, so I will give him a chance. I do have other guys from online dating I'm talking to, but I've only been dating him for the last several weeks. I even turned some of them down to make more time for him. He has a gentle, patient nature.

 

We are going on our 5th date and I will see what happens.