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[Male] Introverted, how do I meet people to date?


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So I am pretty introverted. My idea of fun is staying in playing video games, watching tv, or practicing my guitar. I would love to find a women that is somewhat of a homebody as well and doesn't have the need to go out and party. I am somewhat new to the whole adult dating life as I was in a relationship coming out of high school and throughout most of my college career. I will be graduating this semester now and I have no idea how to meet women that don't need to go out and party every night.

 

I do not mean to sound stuck up or egotistic by saying this, but I think I am a very attractive man, 6'5'', slim, very nice, smart (math major), good hygiene, and funny. Pretty much good datable qualities any guy could have. However I do not drink or party and I think my biggest issue is just to actually meet someone. Even though I am introverted, I am not shy and I am not afraid to approach or talk to a women, I just have no women to talk to.

 

Any ideas on how to meet others?

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Try on line dating but use a paid site. With on line dating you have the opportunity to look at suggested profiles that match your personality, so it takes all the guess work out and of having to find places to meet random girls that probably just want to drink and party. Basically paid sites do most of the work for you. It's worth a shot since you don't like the traditional way of meeting people (the bars).

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Online dating is probably your best bet being someone that doesn't want to leave their house looking to meet other people that don't leave their house. LOL

 

Outside of that libraries, coffee shops, volunteer work, clubs, and music shops might all be good bets for you to score that social reclusive girl of your dreams!!

 

Good luck there is someone out there for everyone. And shes looking for you right now too!

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Disillusioned

Meetups, meetups, meetups.

 

Online dating services LOVE it when young guys like you come along, so they can sucker you in and get you to spend money! I once fell for it. You don't have to. Don't make the same mistake I did.

 

If you're intimidated by the idea of going to meetups, well... I'm afraid that as a man who wants to meet women, you don't have much choice. I like to stay home and fix things, but when I realized I wasn't going to meet women that way, I started fixing up my house so I can start having meetups there. Now the place no longer looks like a pig sty. :cool:

 

But seriously, once you're out of college, get a good job and save up some $$ from your first couple of paychecks if you're serious about dating.

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You are a gamer, you know you can meet people that play the same game as you. I'd start from there. Join a guild (or however it's called in the game you play) and talk to people there. I'm sure this way you'll start making friends who understand you and don't treat you like a freak ("what? you were up all night playing a game? why???:eek:"), you can start visiting them or they visit you and eventually you will meet an interesting woman this way. The majority of dedicated gamers are introverts anyway, in my opinion, or else they'd be out partying :p;)

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One thing about online gaming is that it's not always localized. Depending on your server, you could be playing with others that are thousands of miles away so starting a relationship that way is a crapshoot or turns into a stupid LDR. And even tho gaming isn't limited to guys, gaming girls are in a limited supply so these girls have pick of the pack, and will have many suitors, so like on line dating it's very competitive.

 

IMO the internet has made this generation into introvers because they have never learned the proper social skills to interact with people in person. So they have dug themselves into a big hole.

 

I agree with the other poster, he's just gonna have to suck it up and go out and socialize, and if that means going to speed dating, social mixers, comic bookstore or the genius bar at the apple store then so be it. Gotta put yourself out there or they can't find you.

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Disillusioned

Bars are another black hole, probably even moreso than OLD. Avoid them unless you really, really thrive on unpredictability.

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One thing about online gaming is that it's not always localized. Depending on your server, you could be playing with others that are thousands of miles away so starting a relationship that way is a crapshoot or turns into a stupid LDR. And even tho gaming isn't limited to guys, gaming girls are in a limited supply so these girls have pick of the pack, and will have many suitors, so like on line dating it's very competitive.

 

IMO the internet has made this generation into introvers because they have never learned the proper social skills to interact with people in person. So they have dug themselves into a big hole.

 

I agree with the other poster, he's just gonna have to suck it up and go out and socialize, and if that means going to speed dating, social mixers, comic bookstore or the genius bar at the apple store then so be it. Gotta put yourself out there or they can't find you.

 

Exactly.

I used to be on an American server called Shadowfire in the game Star Wars Galaxies.

Initially, I had no idea it was an American server, lol. :D

Regardless, I spent the best years of my adolescent life there.

Met hundreds of people, women included.

I always found that it was a good staging point on learning how to make conversation with women through digital means.

Despite the fact that the game was shut down, I'm still in contact with several of my closest friends to this day. :)

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Not everyone has a bad experience with going to bars. That's where I met my husband. :laugh:

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What type of video games do you play? There are several social gaming events and meetup groups out there now that makes it easier to meet people with common interests.

 

As an introvert, it is a challenge some times. I don't really like online dating's process but I enjoy the fact I get to express myself through writing . Sometimes in person feels a bit too fast paced.

 

I am socially introverted so I hate small talk, slow to fully open up and need to recharge like a battery. But I like going out, trying new things and asking people questions about themselves so it helps to form connections. I think it helps to learn some extroverted qualities even if it doesn't initially feel natural to you. I know I wish some extroverts would also learn some introverted qualities to use for themselves too. lol

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I would be highly surprised if you didn't meet someone similar to yourself through your career.

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You are 6'-5" and attractive? Sign up for a good, pay on-line dating site as soon as possible. You will have women beating your door down. There are only three kiss of deaths in OLD:

1. Being under 5'-10". Easily 2/3rds of the women out there want a tall man.

2. Being unattractive. Absolutely do not pass go if you don't have a good picture.

3. Smoking cigarettes.

 

If you can concur all those, you will be successful on line dating.

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Even though I am introverted, I am not shy and I am not afraid to approach or talk to a women, I just have no women to talk to.

 

Socialize in venues where your interests and passions are served. Introversion merely means you energize from 'alone time' versus the extrovert energizing from 'social time'. You still socialize and enjoy people and your alone time recharges your social batteries. So, get out there in public with your interests and meet people.

 

As an example, I spend a lot of time alone, perhaps to the point of being considered a loner, but still enjoy socializing, traveling and have a wide circle of friends. How would I meet a lady? One example is I would take one of my old cars to a car show and spend a few hours both walking around and talking with people, as well as talking with those who stop by my little show. It's taking an interest and turning it into social interaction. I can easily drive around alone, enjoying the car and my work, until the cows come home. Choosing to socialize within that interest is just that, a choice.

 

You have choices!

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